#alesan

The plan was to go to Windhelm, get Sofie, then head to Dawnstar and get Alesan. We could stay there for the night if it was too late, then come back in the morning.

Unfortunately, as soon as we left Solitude it started storming. Jolf said it would be all day until Windhelm, if we were lucky, but he could drop us off in Dawnstar safely.

So, we went to Dawnstar, and got there a bit before lunch. The weather had cleared up only slightly, so we hustled to the Inn to see if Alesan was there.

He wasn't, so we ordered lunch for all of us, including him, and waited.

It was agonizing! Karita and Thoring could tell that something was up, and asked why we were acting so weird. I think they knew, or at least Karita did. She gave her father a little grin while she put together the extra plate for us.

Erandur waited until after she set the food down before he said anything, which was good, because she SHRIEKED when she heard the news! I'm glad we were the only ones in there. It startled Septim!

She ran around the bar and gave us all big hugs, but Erandur had to calm her down a bit. We wanted to adopt Alesan, but if he didn't want to come with us we weren't going to force him.

I admit, the thought that either of them might not want to come with us hadn't occurred to me, but it explained Erandur's nerves.

I must've had some sort of Look on my face, because Thoring poured me a refill and told me not to worry. Alesan sometimes asked how old they thought he'd have to be to get work on a ship. He clearly didn't want to stay in Dawnstar forever.

That was a relief, but the next thing Thoring said almost broke Erandur.

In a good way, but still.

He pulled some shot glasses out from under the bar along with a VERY nice bottle of flin, and poured one for each of us, including himself.

He picked up his glass and said, "A toast," gesturing to all of us. We picked up our glasses, and he said, "To Alesan, and…" Here he looked at Erandur and Valdimar, "Fatherhood."

Before that moment, I don't think Erandur realized that the kids would think of him that way, or that it was even possible. He just froze, and didn't move until Valdimar nudged him. Even then, it was only to blink at the drink in his hand a few times before he knocked it back.

Thoring laughed and finished his, as did the rest of us.

That was some damn good flin!

Anyway, Erandur was quiet after that, and when I asked him if he was all right, he looked confused. He said he thought he was, then asked if I thought they'd want him to be their father.

Right then, Alesan ran in with an empty soup pot, and said something about the miners to Karita before he noticed we were sitting at the bar. He said hello, and was happy to see that his lunch ready for him. He was cold, so he went to sit on the floor by the fire to eat.

We all looked at Erandur, and I could tell he was nervous. He had the hem of his cloak in a death grip, practically grinding the fur off between his fingers. I leaned over and whispered for him to go ahead.

"You do the honors."

Later on he admitted that the reason he called Alesan over rather than going to sit with him was because he didn't think his legs could work.

Alesan came over, and knew something was up right away. He asked why we were all looking at him "like that," and Erandur said it was because we had a very important question to ask him.

I'll never forget the smile on Alesan's face when Erandur asked if he'd like to be adopted. He has such a big smile anyway, seeing him just light up…

Dammit, I thought I was done crying for today!

Well, he was very happy and excited, and he asked Erandur if he was going to be his father.

Erandur blinked away a few tears, and said that he could never replace Alesan's father. Still, if he wanted him as a father, he could use the Dunmer word: "Ata".

Alesan said it a few times to himself before he said, "Ata!" and hugged Erandur so hard that he almost knocked him off the bar stool! Erandur hugged him back, and I was close enough that I could hear him whispering thanks to Mara as he did.

Erandur was wiping at his eyes when he let go, and I leaned forward to tell Alesan that he had more than an "ata".

Alesan's eyes got huge when he realized, and he said he never had a mother before! He said his father never talked about her, and never wanted to, either.

Mystery lady, wherever you are, I promise I'll do my best.

He asked what to call me, and I said that being "mama" was fine.

Divines, I was NOT prepared to hear him call me that! I thought I was, but…

If I'm not careful I'm going to have to rewrite this section. Stupid ink's not dry yet, and if I'm not careful it's going to run.

Anyway, he gave me a quick hug before he pulled back and asked Erandur when we got married!

We ALL needed that laugh! Lydia and I could hardly breathe, and Erandur tried to explain, but ended up in a coughing fit! Valdimar was laughing so hard he wasn't even making noise anymore, just slapping his hand on the bar!

Once we could talk again, we explained to a very confused Alesan that no, none of us are married, and that we were all adopting him together.

He was actually really excited about having four parents! Valdimar said he would go by "da", and Lydia is… Aunt Lydia.

Later on, she told me that she'd purposefully been trying to not think about it. She just didn't want to expect being called a certain name, only to find out that hearing it would be too weird, or that maybe they didn't want to use it.

Being their aunt feels right, she said, and that's fine with Alesan. I'm just glad that when he called her "auntie", she actually smiled.

Of course, he already knows Septim, and was excited to know that Septim was his dog, too.

Karita gave him a big hug and said that she'd miss him, but she was happy for him. "You got a whole family all at once!"

I told her that we were still missing one, and Alesan asked who.

"Your sister."

He was REALLY excited to hear that! He asked all about her, and I said that we'd talk more on the ferry ride back to Solitude.

He was surprised to hear that we were going to Solitude. He thought that he'd be coming with us on our travels, but Erandur explained that it was very dangerous. Beside, we had a big house in Solitude, where it was a lot warmer and safer than here, with plenty of other children his age to make friends with.

There are other kids in Dawnstar, but they're older than him, and Erandur said Alesan rarely got to spend time with them because he was always working.

I hope he can handle not having a job!

Maybe he'll enjoy studying? He seems interested in the books. I've been putting some of the duplicates from the library in the Manor over here when I remember to grab them.

Anyway, it's not like he really had anything to pack up, just his blanket, a spare set of clothes, and a little stash of coins, so it wasn't long before we were on our way to the ferry.

Erandur asked if we could stop in to Frida's so he could tell her the good news. She'd promised to keep an eye on Alesan after Erandur left with us, and he wanted to thank her for it.

She was thrilled to know that we'd adopted him, and we promised to bring him back for visits from time to time.

Then it was on to the ferry, and Harlaug was waiting excitedly for us. He teased Erandur for taking so long to "officially" adopt Alesan, and told us that he fretted over him like a broody hen!

Alesan laughed with us, and we had calm seas on our way to Solitude. We answered what questions we could, but we couldn't tell him much about Sofie. He's excited to get some real schooling, but also asking a million and one questions about our weapons and armor.

-/-/-/-/-/-

Speaking of weapons, he's found the wooden sword I left out in their room! I'll have to find another in case Sofie wants one, too.

Am I going to spoil them? Yes, yes I am. I'm their mother. I'm allowed.

Anyway, as I was saying, the ride itself was an easy one, but we weren't able to get in to Solitude until well after nightfall.

We showed Alesan to the long staircase that comes out next to the market, but after we got to the top, we heard shouting.

Vampires.

Erandur told Alesan to get behind us, and got his sword in one hand, and Flames ready to go in the other. He closed and locked the barred gate with Alesan behind it as soon as the rest of us were out, and I heard him tell Alesan to stay there until one of us came to get him. Lydia and Valdimar ran ahead to join the guards in the fight, and I stayed back with Erandur to make sure none of the vampires tried to escape that way.

Not like we had to bother. Septim stood in front of the door and refused to budge until we could show him that we were all okay!

There were two Vampires, two thralls, and two death hounds!

Alesan was scared, but impressed when he saw me summon an Atronach, and the others pull out their weapons.

The only person to get really hurt was Aia, one of the student bards. She was out late, going back to the College after a night in the tavern when she was attacked. I healed her while Erandur checked everyone over for Vampirism. Everyone's fine, including the guards, so we got Alesan out from behind the gate and brought him to the house.

Alesan was a bit shaken, but excitement soon won out over his nerves, and he's been wandering around and quietly asking questions about things ever since.

He sounds a bit nervous to meet Jordis, but I reassured him that she's very sweet, and is looking forward to meeting him tomorrow.

He loves their room! I made sure to put a lot of clothes in their wardrobe, and he found his new ones.

We'll probably turn his old ones into rags. They're muddy, badly patched and don't fit him well.

Like I said, he's too excited to sleep, and it was a long boat ride and an exciting welcome to Solitude, so the rest of us are having a warm snack and sitting at the table while he wanders around.

-/-/-/-/-/-

He's finally asleep! Erandur's almost done with his prayers, and Lydia and Valdimar already went to bed. I'm going to finish this, clean up, then make sure Erandur gets some sleep, too. We've got a long boat ride tomorrow.

Erandur took a shuddering breath, shoulders tense, as he forced himself to walk past the bodies of his old friends. Somehow he knew it would come to this, it was different to actually carry it through.

He was deep in thought and the heavy weight of a duty to be fulfilled, when Esper spoke, "What about her?"

The orc's voice turned his attention to...

Well she'd been there such a long time. A dissenter who'd been caught, before Erandur was made a priest even, when he was busy enough proving himself to let details like who his fellow cultists were slip his mind. His heart ached for her now, with nobody left to remember her. And they could not even grant her a proper bed, simply laid her down on the floor in a corner.

If Vaermina could take memories of breathing, he'd expect to hover a hand over her mouth and feel no air escape.

And even with the miasma's properties, she surely would be too weak to awaken. Poor girl.

"... Her condition is precisely what we are trying to prevent in the town's folk, leave her, she won't wake." Let her have the closest she could to peace before she inevitably passed, that was what he hoped. Maybe there was still some capacity for sweet dreams for such a person, once the Skull was destroyed.

He walked to the podium, stared at the thing that had ruined the lives of so many. He knew what he had to do. "It's time. The Skull must be destroyed. If you'll stand back, I'll perform the ritual granted to me by Lady Mara."

When she woke up, she knew nothing. She didn't even understand her change of condition as awakening, truly. A change had occured, she did not have the words to put proper meaning to it. Just this incomprehensible feeling that in her previous state she wasn't, and now she was. She laid there for a moment, quite unsure who or what she was, or even what this room she found herself in was for.

When she did move, her limbs felt weak and stiff at the same time, awkward, like they would not respond to her attempts to use them. Simply getting into an upright sitting position was a task, standing felt near impossible, and as soon as she thought she had it, she felt her legs try to give out-

But instead of hitting the floor, a pair of strong arms grabbed her, holding her upright, "Careful, don't hurt yourself." Every muscle in her body tensed. Were there supposed to be people here? Were they friendly? Did they want to hurt her? She didn't know, she didn't know anything and it was proving increasingly frustrating as she had no idea on how to respond to the, as she realized when turned her head to see who was stopping her from colliding with the floor, giant man supporting her as if she weighed nothing. She probably didn't weigh anything to him. He was far taller than her, muscular, with tusks and green skin.

Her tongue was a foreign object in her mouth, and she didn't understand how she knew how to use it, "Th-thank you." Her throat hurt, it was a jarring thing to speak after... Had she ever spoken before?

She noticed another man standing on the pedestal she was on the floor by, staring at her in... Confusion? Disbelief? This one was far shorter than the one supporting her, and had grey skin, he was wearing some sort of robes.

The one holding her looked up at the other as he let her go to stand on her own, "She woke up."

"I-well, I can see that I'm-" The man got down, and walked over to her, "How are you feeling, you must be awfully disoriented."

"... That. Sounds right." She said, "What... Is this place?" She paused before, "Who are you-who am I?"

He looked at her for a moment, an expression she'd come to recognize as pity with time, "... As for who you are, I'm unsure. But I'm Erandur, priest of Mara, and this is Esper. This place is... Nightcaller Temple, a temple to Vaermina."

"... Who's Mara, and Vaermina?"

Another short pause from the man, "How much... Do you remember?" He asked.

"... Nothing." Somehow speaking that aloud made her very, very scared, "I. I don't remember a thing." Her voice shook, the room felt far too small and far too big at the same time. This place, this 'temple', made her skin crawl. She wanted out. But she didn't know what *was* out.

"... I'll explain everything I can for you, but first, I think we should get you out of here, don't you?"

Within a few hours, she had been brought to the inn, and given some water and soup, which was amazing. Of course she didn't remember any food she'd tried before to compare it to, or if she'd tried this food before actually, but soup was incredible. After she'd eaten, Erandur paid for a room for her to stay in, showed her to it, and explained as much as he knew about her and the situation she was in.

The numb realization settled in after his explanation of the cult, what it was, his association, and so forth, that she was wearing the exact same thing as those dead cultists.

"Uhm-I'm sorry but can I ask something?" She didn't want to cut him off, especially since he surely had a lot to get through but... "... Do you think I was. One of them?"

Erandur paused, "At a point but, to the best of my knowledge the reason you were placed in the miasma was that you tried to leave. I can't see any other reason why they would do that."

"Do you... Actually know that, or are you guessing?" The look on the priest's face told her what she needed to know. He didn't actually definitively know how she ended up where she was, he'd simply assumed she must have tried to leave. "... Is it possible I ended up there because I wanted to?"

"... I've never heard of such a thing happening, and I'm not quite sure why even the strongest fanatic would want to be placed in the miasma."

"Who would *want* to give up all their memories for a buncha nightmares?" Esper asked, he was leaning against the wall by the door, mainly just listening to Erandur filling her in, but occasionally chiming in.

"... It could be the type of person I was." She frowned.

"And if it wasn't you need to keep an eye out for who did want that for you." The orc stated, "It isn't gonna do you any good to sit around worrying if you were a good person or not. What's gonna help ya be prepared if something you don't remember comes back for you is assuming you didn't want it, so I'd say until you figure out more go with that." Practical advice. She nodded, taking a deep breath.

"... Thank you."

"'Sides, who you were is who you were, who are you gonna be?"

"... Someone good." She said, she hoped. She wanted to be someone good.

Esper smiled at her, "There you go."

Over the next few days, the woman would regain her bearings on how to well... Exist in general, along with asking around Dawnstar if anybody may have known her before her memories were lost. Unfortunately she either looked unrecognizable after her years asleep, or she hadn't been very social before all this. She couldn't even find a name, and responding to questions of who she was with 'I don't know' was really starting to get frustrating. On the upside she more or less had something to call herself, Ida, a nickname Esper's son Alesan had given her.

So, when Esper planned for him and Alesan to head to Whiterun to find a better place to stay, she asked to tag along.

It was a wonderful journey, at the start. She was seeing so many things she'd never seen before! Or more accurately things she had no memory of. And Esper and Alesan were wonderful traveling companions, even if she found no answers in Whiterun either, the trip alone was worth it in her mind.

For a trio of travelers who couldn't read the map they had, Esper's ability to tell directions based on the location of the sun was a lifesaver. Until a particularly gloomy morning where, between the fog and the clouds, the sun couldn't be seen.

"... Hey Esper? You said Whiterun starts with a W right?" She asked, looking at the signpost they'd come across.

"But there's two signs on here that start with one, yeah." Esper paused, "Well this one is pointing more the way we were goin', so that's probably right." He stated.

"... And if it's not we'll know when the sun is out again?"

"Yeah."

"... Should we wait for the sun to come back out? So we don't get lost." Alesan spoke up, holding Esper's hand and squinting out into the fog.

She was going to reply when she noticed something in the distance, "Oh-there are people coming this way! We can just ask them!" One of the many downsides of a complete lack of memories is not knowing that the group of elves in armor and robes were in fact not friendly.

As she headed towards them Esper quickly reached out, grabbing her shoulder, "Come on, let's go." He sounded... Uneasy?

"What-"

"Excuse me, travelers, could I ask you some questions?" One of the robe wearing elves walked closer to them. And while she didn't know what was going on, she knew Esper didn't trust these people. And she did trust Esper.

"We would but we have to be somewhere by nightfall, so we best get moving-" She began.

"Just a few questions, really." The hooded elf's smile was likely meant to be disarming. It wasn't.

"No." Esper's response was sharper, much more direct, he moved between Zuni and the stranger. Zuni gestured for Alesan to get behind her, she wasn't sure what was about to happen or if she'd be much help, but she wanted to ensure the boy was safe.

The altmer seemed supremely unimpressed with this. Instead deciding to attempt to address Alesan around not one, but two people standing between him and the boy. "Are you traveling with these people willingly, child?"

"He's my dad, and Ida's a friend, of course I am." Alesan sounded confused on why he was being asked such a thing, Zuni herself felt pretty offended. Did her and Esper really seem like the types to steal a kid?

"We're going now." Esper said, voice still firm.

"Who are this boy's real parents?"

"You're lookin at his parent, and I'm taking my son and leaving." As Esper tried to step back, the rest of the group of altmer started walking towards them.

"I'm afraid I don't believe that-"

"Is something going on over here?" If any more altmer walked over Zuni was going to lose it, even if this one looked distinctively different from the group. They were wearing a hood, yes, but unlike the other hooded elves who's clothing seemed to be intended to give some air of superiority or sophistication, this newcomer wore a simple black cloak, and unassuming clothing. It seemed like they were trying to draw as little attention to themselves through appearance as possible. They appeared to have a rather basic bow, and a quiver with a small collection of arrows with them.

The altmer who had initially approached them stared at the newcomer for a moment, seeming both confused and annoyed at being interrupted, "Do I know you?"

"Arewennar Aedus, I believe the troop I'm a part of has worked with yours before. Justiciar Estrnil, correct?"

"... Yes."

"Are these people interrupting patrol? I can handle the situation for you, I'm sure you have places to be."

Zuni couldn't be much more confused if she tried, what the hell was going on?

"... Arewennar Aedus?"

"Yes sir?"

"Your parents reported you missing earlier this week. They claim you deserted your patrol group and ran away from home."

'Arewennar's face dropped, "That's uhm-strange."

"I do believe we'll be taking you and this group into custody."

Several things happened very quickly.

The original group of altmer all brought out either spells or weapons. Arewennar grabbed their bow, and Esper quickly turned to Zuni and Alesan, herding them out of the initial chaos.

He got them hidden in some nearby shrubbery, "Stay here, no matter what you hear do not move, got it?"

"What about you?" Zuni asked, noticing how he wasn't crouching down to hide with them.

"That person in the cloak risked their life to try and get us away from that situation, I'm not leavin them to fight alone." Esper had a determined look, "You stay with Alesan, I'll be back before you know it." And just like that he was gone.

"Is dad gonna be okay?" Alesan asked after a moment, the poor boy sounded so scared.

Zuni offered him a hug, holding him close when he accepted it, "He will be, everything's going to be fine." She assured, before covering his ears.