#alcibiades

Alcibiades, the inventor of day-drinking:

Socrates's perfectly normal statement that kissing beautiful boys will cause you permanent brain damage, according to Xenophon:

Sure Soc. Sure.

And finally, the golden statement that even without your very own Socrates, you can still learn the art of seduction. No comment.

"I elect myself lord of drinking, until you've all drank enough"

Drinks an entire wine cooler of wine, then has it filled up again and hands it to socrates. Obviously they're sharing a drinking cup like it's no big deal. Also the way he talks about it is like he wishes he could get socrates drunk.

Eryximachus being like "hey, lord of drinking, are we just gonna drink without doing anything" and alcibiades' response is "hail eryximachus, your dad is cooler than you". and then eryximachus is like yeah you too i guess but you didn't answer me. And then alcibiades in his infinite drunken wisdom replies "well you're the doctor here so we must all obey whatever you tell us to do."

Alcibiades essentially saying "by Poseidon, shut the fuck up" to socrates.

his very lawyerish "If you dispute it, I'll bring forth witnesses".

"I'm not gonna talk about how my heart even now jumps when socrates is talking because you'll all think I'm drunk" Talks about it anyway. Everyone knows he's drunk as fuck from the moment he came in unable to stand on his own.

the legendary "Socrates makes me feel my life is unlivable"

"I shut my ears and run from socrates as if from the sirens, so as not to grow old sitting by him" so cute shut up.

"only socrates makes me feel shame" cute

the even more legendary "Many times I wished socrates would die, but I know that would make me even more miserable, so I don't know what to do about this man" he's a mess. I am kissing plato on the mouth for this bit.

"I thought i could offer myself to socrates"

Proof that Socrates is in love with Alcibiades in Plato and beyond. The original sources with the ancient greek text, the translation and the word derivatives of "eros" highlighted. Plato's symposium 213c-213d

καὶ τὸν Σωκράτη, Ἀγάθων, φάναι, ὅρα εἴ μοι ἐπαμύνεις: ὡς ἐμοὶ ὁ τούτου ἔρως τοῦ ἀνθρώπου οὐ φαῦλον πρᾶγμα γέγονεν. ἀπ᾽ ἐκείνου γὰρ τοῦ χρόνου, ἀφ᾽ οὗ τούτου ἠράσθην, οὐκέτι ἔξεστίν μοι οὔτε προσβλέψαι οὔτε διαλεχθῆναι καλῷ οὐδ᾽ ἑνί, ἢ οὑτοσὶ ζηλοτυπῶν με καὶ φθονῶν θαυμαστὰ ἐργάζεται καὶ λοιδορεῖταί τε καὶ τὼ χεῖρε μόγις ἀπέχεται. translation:

Then Socrates said, Agathon, do your best to protect me, for I have found my love for this fellow no trifling affair. From the time when I fell in love with him I have not had a moment’s liberty either to look upon or converse with a single handsome person, but the fellow flies into a spiteful jealousy which makes him treat me in a monstrous fashion, girding at me and hardly keeping his hands to himself.

Plato's Gorgias 481d

ἐρῶντε δύο ὄντε δυοῖν ἑκάτερος, ἐγὼ μὲν Ἀλκιβιάδου τε τοῦ Κλεινίου καὶ φιλοσοφίας,

translation: the two of us are in love each with two things—I with Alcibiades, son of Cleinias, and philosophy,

Fragment from Aeschines of Sphettus (11c)

ἐγὼ δὲ διὰ τὸν ἔρωτα ὃν ἐτύγχανον ἐρῶν Ἀλκιβιάδου οὐδὲν διάφορον τῶν Βακχῶν ἐπεπόνθειν. καὶ γὰρ αἱ Βάκχαι ἐπειδὰν ἔνθεοι γένωνται, ὅθεν οἱ ἄλλοι ἐκ τῶν φρεάτων οὐδὲ ὕδωρ δύνανται ὑδρεύεσθαι, ἐκεῖναι μέλι καὶ γάλα ἀρύονται. καὶ δὴ καὶ ἐγὼ οὐδὲν μάθημα ἐπιστάμενος ὃ διδάξας ἄνθρωπον ὠφελήσαιμʼ ἂν, ὅμως ᾤμην ξυνὼν ἂν ἐκείνῳ διὰ τὸ ἐρᾶν βελτίω ποιῆσαι.

translation: Through the love which I had for Alcibiades I had felt no different from the Bacchants. For whenever the Bacchants become inspired, they draw milk and honey from sources where others cannot even draw water. And though I knew no study by which I might usefully educate a man , still I thought that by associating with him I would improve him through love.

Alcibiades 1 the entire dialogue.