#alanburnett

If you’re going to give a television series a big-screen movie, don’t do what Ducktales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp does - unless your objective is merely to make a buck. This film is little more than a few episodes stitched together and padded out until it reaches a feature-length running time. The animation isn't noticeably better, the characters don’t evolve, no big plot points are resolved and the adventure ultimately has no impact on the show. It doesn’t even have the courtesy of introducing you to the characters to serve as a springboard for new fans.

On an expedition to somewhere in the Middle East where they have camels and ancient ruins, Scrooge McDuck (Alan Young), Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Webbigail Vanderquack (all voiced by Russi Taylor) find the ancient treasure of Collie Baba’s pyramid. They don’t realize the REAL treasure is a magical lamp (Well of course there’s a genie in it, why do you even ask) coveted by a millennia-old evil wizard named Merlock (voiced by Christopher Lloyd).

What I look for when I see a show move up to the big screen isn’t too demanding. Either give me something I’ve never seen before, like the kind of visuals a big budget can deliver (like Star Trek: The Motion Picture), a jumping point for new fans to come in (The Powerpuff Girls Movie), shocking revelations about what you thought you knew (Batman: Mask of the Phantasm), game-changing events that you CANNOT miss (Transformers: The Movie) or closure (Serenity). You don't get that here.

Let’s set aside the immediate disappointment and treat this as something you'd watch at home. It still isn’t great. The writing - particularly the dialogue - is poor. The jokes are juvenile and written on the level of a children’s Saturday morning cartoon.

There’s nothing inventive going on here. We get a Genie interacting with the residents of Duckburg and he feels like a watered-down version of every cool genie you’ve ever seen in any movie. Just like the Genie from Aladdin or The Seventh Voyage of Sindbad what does he want above all? freedom. You instantly know how the story will end. Yawn! The wish-granting is equally disappointing. I chuckled when one of the triplets asked for “a million wishes”, only to be turned down, but that's where the originality ends. No dinosaurs brought back to life, no superpowers granted, no trips back in time, or anything of the sort. These kids are wishing for ice cream and new pets, but they live with the world’s richest duck! They could have gotten that kind of thing any day of the week!

If you think the villain will turn things around, you better keep wishing Merlock is a basic, stock evil sorcerer with a bumbling assistant (voiced by Richard Libertini). He’s not interesting. His sidekick is just an excuse to bring in some bad jokes. I bet you a duck’s fortune no one who ever saw this film remembers anything about them except for Dijon's exaggerated and stereotypical Indian accent, Christopher Lloyd's voice and his character's mustache, which he keeps regardless of what form he shapeshifts into.

There are some shots where we see vehicles moving in 3 dimensions that are very well done (no distortions or shortcuts taken that I could see) and there are some cool visuals during the climax too. The characters are consistently on-model and it looks exactly like the show does so it blends seamlessly with the episodes you saw at home. I will also admit that there were some amusing sight gags. I didn’t sit through the whole thing stone-faced contemplating myself jumping out of a window.

If you remember enjoying Duck Tales: The Movie as a kid, stick with your memories. If you want proof that your tastes have matured over time, watch it again or take my word for it. I suppose I’d recommend it for kids because they won’t notice how generic it is, but they're the only ones who should view this. (On VHS, March 11, 2015)