#alanalice

t4t alanalice you wll forever be famous. subtop alan too. barry is genuinely just happy to be here 😌♥

Alan and Alice look for a house, together.

Relationships: Alan Wake/Alice Wake ♦ Words: 100 ♦ Notes: For the November Drabble Challenge, Day 4: Chilly

[Day 3: Journal] [on ao3] [day 5: Costume]

'then I saw a light. your light.'

thinking about how alice “drowned” (taken by the dark presence) before alan could apologize to her. she was in the dark place alone, her last thoughts of her husband him yelling at her and storming out into the night. after months of a deteriorating marriage, a last-ditch effort to save their relationship, a romantic gesture from him, lending an olive branch from her, hoping he can finally get the help he so desperately needs, hoping they can fix their broken relationship. all of those hopes shattered in a moment, a sickening moment, an outburst of anger and pain and fear and suddenly blackness, being pulled under currents by malevolent forces unknown to her.

and while she’s down there, she doesn’t know about his efforts to save her. she doesn’t know how much he cares about her or is worried about her. she doesn’t even know if he knows that she’s gone. all that she knows is that he walked out. all she knows is that she failed, they failed. they couldn’t save their marriage and she couldn’t save him.

imagine for months all you want is your partner back, for them to get better, to be happy, to do what they love, to get back to who you know they are, and all of your good intentions blow up in your face. thinking about how alice must have felt in those moments, utterly helpless in the face of the actual darkness and her own husband’s darkness. the voice in her head that was telling her to give up on him, on them, mocking her for ever trying. for giving him a chance after all the crap he put her through.

imagine the MONTHS and MONTHS she spent dealing with his volative behaviour, unmedicated and refusing to get help, sabotaging his life, their life, and every second it feels like you’re getting further and further from any chance that you can help him. further from the life you always wanted with him. further from any hope of having a normal life.

and sure he always had his bad moments- you didn’t marry a saint and you knew that going in. but the endless headlines and arrests and nights spent wondering what shape he was going to come back in or even if he was going to come back at all, weighing on you day and night. the highs and lows, the crashes and the hangovers.

and being in the dark place, in the wake of their fight, a place where all of your fears and worries and worst thoughts compound and reflect, twisting your thoughts. being in that place in such a headspace, how sickening it must have been for her. how truly horrifying her experience must have been.

and then. AND THEN. at the end of it all, coming out of the dark place, unsure how long it had been unsure if she was alive or dead. the most terrifying experience of her life and when she comes back alan is gone. waking up alone and scared and tortured and the person you love the most in the world, yet who has also caused you the most harm, who’s been with you at your best and worst times- he’s gone. and like that she has no one to confide in, no one to apologize to or make up with. and people say he died, people say he killed himself. and how horrified she must have been, after piecing together what had happened to her and knowing deep down, that alan wasn’t dead, no- he was enduring the same hell that she endured. how ripped apart alice must have been. to know that he traded his life for hers.