#aiooh

*In the darkened Projection Room, two figures stand. The room is tight and the film shutters and rattles on the reels. It is warm and airless. C_C has I_O clasped to his chest, his throat in the crux of his elbow. With his vinyled thumbnail, he idly saws a little cross onto the boy’s upper cheek. The man’s dark lips are close to the other’s curled hair and he whispers, as soft as smoke. [C_C] What were you before you were nothing, Unbrother?

*I_O trembles in the other man’s grasp, his eyes closed tightly as his face is scratched, his breathing quick and panicked.

[I_O] A surgeon, Brother. I am now nothing more than a courier.

[C_C] What is it like to take a person apart?

[I_O] I - I do not know Functionary, I was not a mortician - I only put people back together.

*C_C twists up the boy’s head to stare passively at the new little X on his cheek. He strokes it with a fingertip.

[C_C] There will be no rehabilitation for you. No one to set your pieces in order. There is -

*C_C places his hand tightly over I_O’s mouth and hesitates, listening.

*There are footsteps, steadily getting louder, until the door opens and Blondie steps in briefly illuminated by light until he closes it behind him.

[Blondie] Er...

*Blondie glances between them for a moment.

[Blondie] Good afternoon, chaps?

*C_C regards the other man neutrally. He does not remove his hand from I_O’s mouth. [C_C] Mr. Samuel Hawkins. How gladdened we are that you are here.

*C_C reaches for I_O’s wrist, raising it and offering the other man a wooden, doll-like wave from the Unward in his grip.

[C_C] My Unbrother offers his salutations also.

*C_C’s green eyes flash to Blondie.

[C_C] Your Functionary is utilising humour.

[Blondie] Ah, of course! Indeed. However, I’m sure I_O will be needing his hands in the near future so it would be best to let him use them for the time being.

*C_C’s grip slackens.

*I_O pulls his arm away from the grip, bringing his other free arm up to fix his cuff.

[I_O] A master puppeteer Brother, humorous and entertaining. Good day, Mr. Hawkins, Sir!

*Blondie smiles, a little more genuinely than before.

[Blondie] If we’re all happy that we’re not going to be disturbed then there’s probably no need for small talk, hm?

*C_C turns in the dark room. He runs his fingers across the spinning reel of film and regards the images flickering below, behind the glass, in the theatre.

[C_C] The Mothermen are leaving soon. That is when we will arrange her exit. The dogs will chase her down in the access tunnel of course. Princess is capable of running 32 miles per hour and has 600 lbs of bite pressure afforded by her long muzzle. Your Functionary hopes Sir mourns. I like it when the Facility is full of flowers.

[Blondie] There’s no need for mourning, we just need to make sure the dogs don’t get her. I mean, they like me but I don’t know if like me enough to not try and kill me if I’m in the way and I don’t really feel like finding out for sure. And at any rate I need to be with the helicopter. Trying to fix it, of course.

[C_C] If she must live, let the Unward interest the dogs. Cut him across and his insides will spill. He was a surgeon. He will show you where to incise.

[Blondie] I… don’t think there’s any need for that either. But I think you’re right in that I_O could help with the dogs. Any thoughts, I_O?

[I_O] Th…the dogs. I - I’m not sure how I could keep them occupied for long enough Mr. Hawkins, if I was the bait C_C intended they’d make quick work of it.

*I_O stares at the floor whilst fidgeting with a button on his shirt nervously, he looks up.

[I_O] Isn’t the facility so much prettier when there are flowers?

[C_C] .... And Sir is wearing black.

[Blondie] No no, I just don’t think it’s the most effective way… If Mister Fairfax is mourning her death then he’ll be just as distracted as if she were still here. She’s got to get out, preferably unharmed. There must be a better way of doing it.

*Blondie thinks for a moment, before glancing back at the Wards

[Blondie] If the stairs become blocked then the dogs won’t be able to get out after her. Perhaps if there were to be a Human Accident the area would be barricaded? It wouldn’t have to be genuine. Perhaps you could play the part of the Human having an Accident on the stairs, I_O?

[I_O] I think that has a more desirable outcome for each party, although I’m afraid the accident must be believable - If the Facilitator was to find out I had faked an injury and Echo had escaped…

*C_C sighs. He clamps his fingers shut on the spinning reel and it stops with a grinding of inner parts. The image on the screen below is static. There are cries from the theatre, and he releases the reel to spin once again.

[C_C] … Mr. Laurence Fairfax will be preoccupied.

[Blondie] And you could easily fake something that’d be hard to prove. A fainting fit, perhaps, or a seizure. Just to be on the safe side.

*Blondie hesitates and suddenly frowns

[Blondie] Wait, how do you know Mister Fairfax will be busy? Do you already have a plan for getting Echo away from him?

*C_C turns to the other man.

[C_C] Yes. It will be efficacious. That is all that concerns you.

[Blondie] I… see. Of course.

[I_O] Well then, If the Facilitator is pre-occupied then I am willing to take the risk, a flight of stairs should do the trick.

[C_C] See to it, Unbrother.

*C_C moves past the other men. His uniform glisters like wet plastic in the stuttering light of the theatre.

[C_C] Or when you lie broken on stairwell zero it will be no act.

*C_C casts a look at both of the men, his hand on the door.

[C_C] And the man you call Physician will be.

*C_C pauses.

[C_C] Elsewhere.

*C_C leaves. He pulls open the door to a spill of white fluorescent, and the dull sounds of laughter and table tennis below.

*I_O looks down to the floor, frowning and then back up to Blondie.

[I_O] It would seem we both have tasks to attend to Mr. Hawkins. I must be on my way.

*It is Association, and from the theatre come the sounds of reels on repeat, and of raucous AGRI-laughter. Three days have passed since the Blue Moon Ball, and aside from the occasional sliver of golden thread, or a sticky spill of white wine underfoot, the Facility has returned to its regular, regimented routine.

* C_C and Blondie are back to back in the tight rows of the reference Library. C_C’s lips are as black glass, shaped into pointed needles that run across his cheeks in a strange, sharp smile. The same black line is drawn across his white throat, in an affectation all of the Clerks have adopted. He disinterestedly turns the pages of a book. His voice is low and toneless.

[C_C] Mr. Samuel Hawkins. You are punctual.

*Blondie mimics the clerk’s actions, turning the pages of a book he has no intention of reading, keeping his voice uncharacteristically quiet as he responds.

[Blondie] Yes. You sounded like it was something important.

*C_C snaps closed his book. He slides it back into place beside Blondie, and looks at him carefully in assessment. With his hand, he pushes the row of books across a few inches, leaving a gap through which a gathering of Unwards can be seen. Laurence is reading to them. Sitting amongst them, with an expression of studied blankness, is the Reclaimed Ward, Echo. Her hands are chained, and she wears a muzzle.

[C_C] You will tell Your Functionary, Mr. Samuel Hawkins, what manner of inducement is required for you to remove a person from this Facility. Indefinitely.

[Blondie] Well… if you mean ‘remove’ in its literal sense then I suppose it would depend on the person involved. Whether they’d be worth the risk. You know what being caught doing something like that would result in.

*C_C speaks in a lowered whisper. He indicates Echo with his apple-green eyes

[C_C] I do not speak with you often and still more rarely do I speak with you to plead your assistance but  Functionary really must insist that she-

*C_C takes a deep, sharp inward breath.

[C_C] Exits the Facility in a safe and orderly fashion.

*Blondie regards Echo for a moment, frowning briefly, before nodding.

[Blondie] So long as I can rely on your help then I’d be willing to at least try. She looks like she needs it.

[C_C] Rid yourself of inappropriate emotional stimuli. That is what Sir advises - and that is what we will -

*There is a disturbance in a row of books that faces their meeting place.

*I_O removes a few books of medicine from the shelf, he smiles as he runs a hand over its cover before looking up at the gap and spotting the two other men, staring back at him.

[I_O] I-I, Mr. Functionary, Mr. Hawkins - I was just retrieving a book for Nix… Physician N_X, I didn’t hear anything.

*I_O turns on his heels, clutching the books closely as he attempts to pace away down the row of books towards the exit.

*C_C rounds the corner of I_O’s row. His stiff curl falls in front of his face and he reaches out his arms to block I_O’s path. He speaks through clenched teeth.

[C_C] Unbrother.

*I_O stops in his tracks, eyeing the Ward in front of him.

[I_O] Functionary C_C, Sir - I would thoroughly enjoy a moment to spend association with you and Mr. Hawkins but I really must return this book, If you’ll excuse me.

*I_O twists around once again, sweat begins to form on his brow as he dashes in the other direction away from C_C.

*Blondie stands at the other end of the row of bookcases, trying not to look too intimidating.

[Blondie] Sorry, I_O. We were just having a quite important discussion.

*I_O halts again, frowning as he stares at the man.

[I_O] No apologies required Mr. Hawkins sir, I’ll just leave the two of you to your conversation then - If you’ll excuse me.

*I_O steps forward and attempts to step past Blondie.

*Blondie remains where he is.

*C_C approaches, lithe and dangerous, keeping his hands on the shelves until he is near enough to grab the boy. He clasps both arms around him suddenly and viciously from behind, and angles back I_O’s head to look directly into his eyes.

[C_C] You were spying.

*I_O spins around to face C_C, carelessly dropping the books to the floor with fright.

[I_O] I - I was only retrieving these books Sir, what I overheard was purely circumstance to that.

*C_C strokes I_O’s throat with a single, insectile finger. His eyes are fixed on I_O.

[C_C] The punishment for spying is hanging, little Unbrother.

[Blondie] Hey now, I’m sure he didn’t mean to walk into our conversation. Hanging is a bit extreme for an accident. Maybe he could help us?

*I_O recoils at C_C’s touch, his eyes dart between them both.

[I_O] O-Of course Mr. Hawkins, It is my job to assist others in this facility, I.. I’m sorry I overheard you Functionary.

*C_C's black lips part. He rests his eyes on Blondie. His voice turns soft, a chiming whisper, as he returns his stare to I_O. Still clasping him tightly, he brings a hand up to stroke I_O’s curls comfortingly.

[C_C] Why were you not listening to the Facilitator’s story, Unbrother? Your Functionary knows. Yes. You don’t like sitting beside the Reclaimed, do you? You would like to be rid of her, too, would you not, Unbrother? We know what is best for Sir.

*I_O stares blankly, quietly into C_C’s eyes for a moment before nodding once.

[I_O] Y...Yes? Yes! That is precisely it Functionary, they cannot be trusted and are possibly a threat to Sir!

[Blondie] In that case, we should all sit down before we draw any more attention this way.

*C_C releases I_O with a little shove toward Blondie.



[C_C] There is only one thing worse than an Unward. And that is a Reclaimed.

*Blondie gives I_O an awkward but well-meaning pat on the shoulder before gesturing to the row of chairs he was previously sitting on.

[Blondie] Back to business.

[I_O] A-agreed, shall we proceed then Sirs?

*I_O begins to walk towards the chairs, turning his head to face the floor as he wanders past C_C.

*C_C takes the Unward by the upper arm. He leans closely. His smile is a slash of black.

[C_C] Your Functionary is better than her. We must make him see.

*I_O’s eyes widen at the sudden grasp of his arm, unable to look C_C in the eyes he continues to stare at the floor and nods.

[I_O] Understood Sir, I.. agree with you, but how?

*C_C pulls him along, and slips a book from the shelf. He scrapes a chair and pushes the Unward down, sitting next to him. He opens the book between them. His voice is hushed.

[C_C] If anyone asks, Unbrother, Your Functionary and Samuel Hawkins are teaching you to read.

[I_O] But I can already rea-

*I_O stops himself from responding and frowns, nodding his head in agreement before leaning forward to fake studying it.

[Blondie] Well, now that’s taken care of… did you have any ideas in mind already, C_C? Or was that why you decided to ask me here?

*C_C takes I_O by the back of his collar and shoves his head downward towards the book. He looks around, taking stock of the quiet room.



[C_C] Though abscondment is very rare, it is a statistical certainty, Samuel Hawkins. Do you understand?

[Blondie] Yes? I think so. Naturally, Echo escaping would remove her from Mister Fairfax’s surroundings.

[C_C] Alternatively, there is Level Six… Volunteers are always required.

*C_C slaps I_O’s hand viciously and turns the page in a sharp motion.

[Blondie] There’s no need to involve Miss Halstead. Just us three should be good enough to get Echo – the Reclaimed – out of the way. And if it’s not, I know A_C and D_C would be on for helping and they can be trusted more than she can, I’m sure.

[C_C] The helicopter. It will need to be disabled. Your Functionary will see to it that the girl flees. At the appointed time. And you, Unbrother…

*C_C squeezes his fingers tightly into I_O’s neck.

[

C_C] You will misdirect any pursuit.

[Blondie] Helicopter malfunctions happen frequently enough. I’m sure one could fall on the same day she escapes.

*I_O looks up from the book, his neck muscles tense from the other man’s grip

[I_O] Functionary C_C, Mr. Hawkins, I will do what I can - but what if the Mothermen catch wind of this?

[Blondie] They’d be one of the biggest obstacles. I don’t suppose we could wait until they’re out on a mission? I could find out when their next one is quite easily.

[C_C] If the Captain and his dog hear of this… Then we assign all blame to you, little Unbrother. Who else would help a Reclaimed? Hardly Your Functionary, Official Notary of the Obedience for Unity Social Club.

*I_O is silent for a moment, head once again staring blankly at the book as he nervously taps his fingers against the table.

[I_O] I.. I understand - I think Mr. Hawkins idea might be better though Sir.

*C_C clenches his sharp fingernails into the flesh of I_O’s neck.

[C_C] Do you?

*I_O winces as the nails dig in, he whimpers slightly trying not to let out too much noise.

[I_O] Y-yes, if you really want h-her gone smoothly.

[Blondie] Yes, being able to get her out without casting suspicion on anyone else would be much neater. We wouldn’t want anyone wondering why I_O was able to do so much all on his own and starting to look closer, after all.

*C_C regards them both with hooded eyes. He releases I_O’s scruff and speaks softly.

[C_C] Fine. And who knows, Unbrother, if the girl gets out, perhaps one day you will follow her. But you should know. The dogs will be chasing you. And they eat Unward.

*He smiles spitefully, and rises, moving around the other man fluidly.

*It is evening in the Facility; there are sounds of footstep on glass as I_O crosses the bridge to the Facilitator's office with the Functionary’s message to Fairfax in hand, the other pile of letters now resting in the tattered brown satchel of unknown origin assigned to him for his work. I_O grips the neatly folded letter tightly as he approaches the doorway, firmly knocking twice with his free hand.

[I_O] Facilitator Fairfax, Sir. I have an urgent message from Functionary C_C.

*There is no response. I_O turns on his heels after moments of waiting and heads towards the stairs, his pale face now partially red from embarrassment and worry. He descends quickly down the steps and makes his way towards the Facilitator’s suite on level 2. As he approaches the blackened doors that stand out amongst the white corridors the silence of the night breaks, he pauses at the door with arms raised ready to knock. Muffled shouting can be heard from the other side of the door. After a deep breath I_O knocks twice more, the letter in his hand shaking as his arm does too.

*There is a moment of silence in the half-lit corridor, and the soft notes of piano come from within the room. The door opens fully, thrown by Laurence. It thuds flatly against the inner wall. Fairfax stands a half-head above the small Unward and he breathes out, very slowly, his blue stare resting on the boy. He smells strongly of aftershave with a bitter undertone of sweat and whiskey.

[Fairfax] I am in the middle of an acutely private moment.

*Laurence is still breathing hard from his rage.

[Fairfax] What is it.

*I_O looks down to the floor. Trembling with fear, he extends the note to Fairfax and speaks in a hushed tone*

[I_O] I - I apologise, Mr. Fairfax, Sir. I have an urgent message for you from Functionary C_C S-Sir.

*I_O carefully raises his head to meet the man’s gaze as he speaks, his hands still shaking.

[Fairfax] From C_C? Give it to me.

*He repeats the words as the Unward hesitates.

[Fairfax] Give it to me. Quickly, boy. Are you damaged?

[I_O] I-I….

*I_O falls silent, his trembling hand extends a little further to place the note in Laurence's hand, and as he releases it from his grip he steps back slightly.

[I_O] I - I’m sorry, Sir. S-should I leave you now, Sir?

*I_O almost cowers under the man towering over him, his head constantly turning away, struggling to maintain eye contact.

*Laurence stares at him coldly. His voice is disdainful and sharp.

[Fairfax] Stay where you are.

*Laurence opens the folded message and raises it. He reads. Finally, he lowers the note. The man takes a single inward breath. His tones are whispered bitterly.

[Fairfax] A most frivolous pretext. For this intrusion on my time.

*Breyos is finally able to breathe cautiously, out of Laurence’s stare. He remains seated, looking over his shoulder to the door. Moments later, he stands, smooths his shirt and walks towards the entrance.

[Breyos] Right. Thank you kindly for your generosity this evening. It has been a pleasure but I’m afraid I must retire now. I do hope we could… continue our pleasant conversations next time. Have a good evening, Facilitator.

*There is a nervous smile on his face and he shakes Laurence’s hand to take his leave; already overstaying his welcome. I_O is ignored. With firm, hurried paces; Breyos leaves.

*Laurence passes the letter to his left hand to shake Breyos’. He stares after his companion. Disappointment crosses his face.

[Fairfax] Goodnight Mr. Vesalius.

[I_O] I hope the Functionary’s message has proved to be as important and valuable to you as he claimed Sir. Goodnight.

*I_O bows slightly and quickly begins to pace towards the end of the corridor, following behind Breyos. He begins to breathe fast and heavily as he attempts to retreat.

*There comes the sharp clack of heels behind him, and I_O is seized by the upper arm. Laurence spins the boy and holds him. His face is a snarl.

[Fairfax] How dare you interrupt my evening. How dare you walk away from me. You and I will have a frank discussion on accountability, boy. What is your name.

[I_O] I-I-I… I apologise Sir. I was just doing as instructed. I- I’m I_O, Sir.

*I_O turns his head away from Fairfax; he struggles to remain standing as his knees begin to shake violently from fear.

[I_O] I did not mean to interrupt you, Sir….

*Fairfax stares at the trembling boy in his grasp. Slowly, his ragged, furious breathing softens to a sigh. His fingers, gripping tightly into the Unward’s thin shirt, slacken.

[Fairfax] I_O.

*He releases the boy, finally.

[Fairfax] I_O. Good. *The man straightens. [Fairfax] I will remember your name, darling. When I see it next.

*He smiles icily.

[Fairfax] In my ledger.

*He flicks his fingers in the direction of the end of the corridor.

[Fairfax] Now run along.

[I_O] Goodnight S-Sir…. I’m sincerely sorry again for this disturbance.

*I_O turns away from Fairfax and scurries down the corridor. As he turns the corner he clutches at his chest, his heart beating rapidly. With his free hand he wipes away the beads of sweat and wet fringe sticking to his reddened forehead. He whispers to himself as he collapses to the floor leaning against the wall.

*It is post-Association in the Facility, and those under curfew are restless in their dormitories or rooms in the short rest period before the dimming of the ceiling lights. A few red-eyed, wearily breathless Monitors make slow, thorough patrols of the levels, and in the Clerk dormitory, C_C  stands motionlessly beside his bed, his shoulder rested on by a thin Ward with gleaming, flattened hair, a tin comb in his pocket, and his arm around C_C’s waist. Elsewhere, the languid office Wards recline on their beds, or curl one another’s hair jealously.

*The radio, mounted above the doorway on either side of the long room faintly begins to announce the news; stutters, and resumes soft songs of patriotism.

*There comes a hesitant, unobtrusive knock at the door. *C_C looks to the door sharply. The Ward with the tin comb parts from him. There is silence, but for the lull of tranquilising music.

*The door opens, held ajar by the shunned Clerk with the bruised blue lips painted with a smile. He is unkempt.

*I_O steps through the doorway, ducking carefully under the smiling clerks arm, a small stack of letters clutched tightly to his chest. He is a small, malnourished young man with ragged black curls. His arms tremble slightly and his gaze quickly turns to the floor as his hazel eyes spot the staring clerks.

[I_O] Mr. C_C, Functionary – you sent for my assistance?

*I_O’s bowed head raises slightly in an attempt to make eye contact with C_C.

*There is sniggering laughter from the side of the room that is quickly hushed.

*C_C rests his eyes on the boy neutrally.

[C_C] State your nominative designation, Unward.

*I_O clears his throat, his eyes still darting rapidly from C_C to the floor.

[I_O] Y-You k-know my designation, Mr C_C. I... I’ve served this facility for years.

*C_C is still. His apple-green eyes narrow.

[C_C] Repeat it.

[Ward with Tin Comb] Ask it what it failed, Brother. [C_C] Be quiet. *C_C leans forward fractionally. His unbreaking stare is on the Unward. [C_C] What is your designation.

*I_O sighs under his breath and stands confidently to attention.

[I_O] The designation I was assigned is I_O, Functionary C_C.

*I_O nervously looks away again, fingers gently tapping the pile of letters he is clutching.

[C_C] Again.

*I_O speaks quickly with a tone of slight frustration.

[I_O] Once more, I_O, C_C.

[Ward with Tin Comb] What do you owe him, Unward? If you’ve a debt you should pay it.

[C_C] You are obligated to settle any arrears.

*I_O turns to the ward with the comb and stares emptily for a moment before turning back to C_C.

[I_O] I am aware of my document of due sum and each day work to repay Sir for his generosity.

*I_O carefully steps forwards towards C_C, his trembling arms tensed and raised in nervous defence.

[I_O] How may I assist you this evening, C_C?

*The Ward with the tin comb leans over I_O. He takes one of the boy’s unkempt curls and lifts it, pulling lightly, until strand by strand, it falls from his grasp. He straightens, with a smile.

[Ward with Tin Comb] It needs shearing, C_C. Can’t you tell Sir it makes the Facility look untidy?

*C_C ignores the man. From his chest pocket he withdraws a letter, neatly folded, embellished with flourishes in dark blue ink.

[C_C] You will deliver this to Sir. First Priority.

[Ward with Tin Comb] I can make it pretty. Let me, Brother.

*I_O steps away from the ward with the comb, casting a quick glare in his direction.

[I_O] My personal appearance is at a standard which does not prevent me from completing my tasks; any change would be in the name of vanity and thus, unnecessary.

*I_O faces C_C, he extends the arm holding the stack of mail and nods.

[I_O] I apologise Functionary C_C, I will deliver your message to Sir in due time; however there are others before you.

*C_C slaps the letters from the boy’s hands. They scatter on the floor. He offers his missive again, repeating his previous words. [C_C] First Priority.

[Ward with Tin Comb] It can’t even hold its papers correctly.

*I_O ignores the other ward and takes the letter from C_C’s hand before bending down to silently collect the scattered letters from the floor.

[I_O] I – I apologise Mr. C_C, the letter to Sir is now my first priority.

*C_C places his polished shoe heel on a letter beside I_O’s fingers. He waits until the Unward looks up to meet his eyes.

[C_C] Your Functionary’s personal correspondence is of utmost importance to Sir. You will not delay in its delivery. If you detain this letter –

*There is a pause. The room is silent. [C_C] – then your next will be to Miss. C. Halstead of Level 6. *C_C moves his heel from the letter.

*I_O quietly picks up the final letter, carefully smoothing out the area in which boot had met paper and sorts it back into the pile. He stands back up.

[I_O] Number one priority; understood. Will that be all this evening, Functionary C_C?

*I_O holds the letters close to his chest once more, looking onwards at C_C with a thin smile.

[C_C] Comb your hair.

*I_O maintains his smile, his free hand rises to gently run through the area of hair disturbed previously by the comb-wielding Ward. The short black curls of hair spring back into place.

[I_O] I’m afraid I have more pressing priorities currently and must attend to your task, C_C.

*I_O’s head finally falls from the other man as he glances down to C_C’s letter on top of the stack.

[I_O] After all, your message to Sir must be really important, no?

[Ward with Tin Comb] It is incivil.

[C_C] Your Functionary dislikes discourtesy.

[Ward with Tin Comb] Civilise it, C_C.

[C_C] Attention. Note, that for safety reasons, you are required to remain still. Please prepare for Corrective Measures.

*C_C draws back his hand. His stare is unfaltering and he does not blink as he slaps the Unward sharply.

[C_C] Corrective Measures have been administered. You may leave.

*I_O raises a hand to touch his reddened cheek, tears beginning to well up in his eyes.

[I_O] T-thank you for your lesson C_C, I… I am grateful.

*I_O gives each clerk one last look before spinning on his feet and heading for the door with his head hung, with his free hand he weakly knocks it.

*The door is opened by the shamed, smiling Clerk. He is gestured in by C_C, and sighs in relief. I_O leaves, and is left alone in the corridor.

*I_O remains for a moment to gather himself, wiping away the tears from his eyes. After a quick glance over his shoulder he neatly unfolds C_C’s letter with great care and whispers its content under his breath.

[I_O] Sir; you are -not- required to take your maintenance vitamins. Signed: Your Functionary.