February 12, 2009
If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you feed us wine coolers, do we not put out? @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 62
My clumsy, sweatpants-clad seduction was timed to commence with his morning wood and a Rush song. I'm not a sex kitten, I'm a sex LOL cat. @AinsleyofAttack (Ainsley Drew) – 58
We named our dog "Thesaurus," but we rarely call him that. @pagecrusher (Simon Goetz) – 45
This Charles Darwin guy must have done something really stupid to get the Darwin Awards named after him. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 44
Survival tips if stranded on a magical island! 1) Be pretty! 2) Talk early and often! 3) Be a dog! 4) Befriend smoke monster! 5) Other! @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 43
Sex with me is like a luxury cruise, shorty. There's motion sickness and shuffleboard and old people and you can't get off no matter what. @fireland (Joshua Allen) – 41
Just lost power. Panic setting in. Sgt. Ice Cream was the first to be eaten. Oh, God. It's horrible. Horrible. @bcompton (Doom Nibbler) – 41
I like to think somewhere out there is a private collection of iSight video of me eating lunch in front of my computer. Maybe a pay site. @lonelysandwich (Adam Lisagor) – 40
The remains of someone who has been cremated are called cremains. That's just plain lazy. Real plazy. @awryone (Josh Donoghue) – 38
