WARSAN VS. MELANCHOLY / accepting

where indeed? maybe it began in hollow bastion when all he’d chased after was a smile and a pair of yellow eyes. or on top of the clock tower, chasing after laughter until his chest didn’t echo so empty with his own voice. or when he turned his attention inward to the aching of his hollow bones.

to want what does not want you. he wanted a friend. a companion. a hand to hold against the lonely nights. a heart. and none of that wanted him. there’s no hands reaching out for his — not after all the blood stained into his palms. red as his fire. red as his rage. (he wants to be angry when he looks at kairi but instead he’s just… lonely. he looks at her and sees another face. another life he should’ve kept safe but failed. success never wanted him either) axel would’ve told her to mind her business. he exists as a second heartbeat inside lea now, howling his loss until it sounds like the wind.

❝ not my fault nothin’ wants me. ❞ his laughter shakes loose from his throat but it scrapes over the broken glass in his mouth and comes out jagged. raw and unsteady. it’ll have to do. ❝ did'ya think that life worked out for everyone? it hasn’t worked for me or you, kairi. ❞