#ahs fluff

kyle and you were both sat on the floor across from each other, on your lap were different types of flashcards.

ones with animals printed on them, and ones with just words. you picked one up and flipped it so kyle could see. it was a print of a frog.

“.. and, this is?..” you ask, your tone soft.

kyle slightly furrowed his brows, his lips parting before he finally spoke.

“f ..f..frog.” he let out, glancing at you for approval. you smiled, setting that one down in the pile of the ones you’ve already done.

“good job, kyle!” you replied before picking up another one, a print of a zebra. you knew this one would be sort of hard for him, but hoped he’d get it right.

you flipped it so he could see, he narrowed his eyes at the card. “z..z—“

you should’ve seen it coming, by the way kyle’s face changed. he slammed his palm down and let out a groan, the cards suddenly were snatched, flinching — you closed your eyes for a split second to regain composure.

“kyle—“ you start opening your eyes, seeing his head in his hands, shoulders shaking. “kyle.” you repeated more louder.

he slowly slid his palms off his face, his eyes were watering, tears daring to slide down his cheeks. he was frustrated, and you could tell. the ripped cards that laid in his lap.

but you couldn’t understand if it were from just getting one word wrong or something else had been bothering him?

“kyle .. what’s wrong?” you say, concern drifting through your tone as your brows furrowed. “mmh..—“ kyle hummed, trying to find a way to pronounce it like he had heard before.

“m — mmhonster..” he said, “monster?” you repeat.

kyle nodded, his gaze drifting down as if he couldn’t hold eye contact. “who?” you ask. “whose a monster, kyle?” kyles finger made its way to his own chest, as he pointed at it.

your heart ached, your hands had found its way to cradle his face. hands on both sides of his cheeks, that got him to look at you, a tear was already slipping down and you wiped it off. “kyle .. you’re not a monster — who— who told you that?”

“mm ..mahdison..”

fuck, that bitch. always finding a way to bring someone down.

“hey, kyle, don’t listen to her. everything that comes out of her mouth is total bullcrap, she just wants to wind you up.”

“kyle .. no?” he asked, tears winding up again as he let out a sniffle.

“kyle no, kyle no — no monster.” you finally say, shaking your head.

that made kyle let out a whimper “mmh.” before you pulled him in, you didn’t care if he soaked your shirt with his tears. one of your hands stayed resting on the back of his neck, the other on finding its way through his hair.

while you soothed kyle, madison was all you thought about. how you were gonna confront her, physically or verbally?

whatever it was, you were gonna get payback for kyle.

kyles cries eventually calmed down, he nuzzled his face into your neck, before he murmured. “m’sorry..” before he sniffed.

you wondered what he was sorry for, for a split second before you let out a small laugh. the cards, that he had ripped.

“it’s alright, kyle.” you reassured before kyle finally detached from you, his eyes searched your face before he cradled it, moving his head forward, you hadn’t expected him to kiss you.

"Mhm..." You mumble sleepily, rolling onto your back and groaning. This was definitely not a space meant for more than one person to sleep, or even anyone to sleep at, to be honest. "When is Elsa gonna give you a real bed, dear?"

"Ah, that question again. I don't know babe." He chuckles softly, standing up and walking over to the sink, pouring a glass of water and then returning to the makeshift sleeping spot.

"Does she really expect you to... get well rested in this?" You grumble, sitting up on your elbow. "The thing is highly uncomfortable."

"Not what you were thinking last night, baby." He murmured, pressing a kiss right below your ear, in the spot that makes chills run up ever inch of your body. "-'specially afterwards. In my arms."

You blush softly, watching him as he lays next to you, the glass of water forgotten somewhere that you weren't quite worried about. "Shut up-" before you can get out any more word out, his lips are against yours in a demanding but gentle kiss, effectively doing what you had just told him to do.

His fingers run through your hair as his other hand opens your mouth for you, taking over the space with his own muscle. He laughs softly as you make the slightly whine, deepening the kiss even more to draw out more of those sounds.

His arms wrap around you, biceps slightly stiff as he holds you close, not backing down from the war between your teeth and tongues. It's sloppy, but what isn't with Jimmy? He's an amazing lover, but he's also full of built up emotions that he only ever lets out through... the more intimate parts of your relationship.

You don't complain, however, liking to see that side of him. Finally, he pulls away from the kiss, but only to breath. Panting, eyes boring into yours as his warm breath fans your face, he whispers your name. Before you can respond, his lips are on you again. He kisses gentle kisses on your jaw, cheeks and neck, pulling you impossibly close.

"Jimmy-" You laugh, pushing him away slightly, "Darling..."

"Yes?" He says cheekily, "That's my name, yes." He grins, nuzzling into your neck, peppering it with more kisses.

"You're impossible." You mumble, pulling as far away as you can before his grip stops you. You look into those beautiful brown eyes of his and laugh. "If I didn't love you, I think I'd hate your guts."

"Oh, you wouldn't be the first." He laughs softly, shaking his head before pulling you on top of him. "But you do love me, right?"

"Are you even listening to me?" You giggle softly, pressing your forehead against his. "I just said I did."

"Well, I didn't hear it. Can you tell me again?" He smirks, that stupid cocky one that makes your heart do flips.

You stare down at him, blinking a few times before kissing his cheeks, speaking between each one. "I. Love. You. Jimmy. Darling."

He chuckles softly, leaning into your lips each time they press against his skin. His eyes crinkle with how wide he's smiling, looking up at you as you pull away. Jimmy's arms wrap around your shoulders, hand placed comfortable behind your head as he pulls you back down, connecting your foreheads together once more.

"I love you, too, darling." He murmurs before pressing his lips to yours. He holds you closer, quick to flip your positions. "More than anything. To the moon and back. You're mine." He whispers in your ear, along with other sweet nothings that make you giggle like a school girl.

After your (Jimmy's) usual morning routine of kisses and cuddling and sometimes a little more, you both get up and ready for the day. Of course, You have to sneak out of his caravan so that no one knows exactly what happens in there at night, despite the obvious sounds and shaking.

You run to your own, much smaller temporary home, getting dressed in new clothes and ready for whatever it is your tasked with. Despite how fast word gets around in the Freak Show, no one quite knows about your relationship with Jimmy. Well, most people don't.

"You think I'm blind?" You hear Ethel speak, turning around to see her with er arms crossed.

"Uh... I don't know you're talking about." You say sheepishly, going back to setting up for the show tonight.

"You an' Jimmy." She says bluntly, for your ears only as she looks around. "I see how ye both look at each other. I approve, don't cha worry bout that."

"What?" You quickly say, face of pure shock. "Approve?"

"Oh, yeah, I ain't never seen him more in love with nobody, deary." She laughs softly, patting your back. "I won't tell no one, either. You two love birds do whatever ye want and I would say nothing less you break his heart."

And with that, the bearded lady leaves you, flabbergasted by the conversation you just had. You didn't exactly have a word for your relationship with Jimmy yet, but this just made it a lot more complicated.

Should you... ask him out? Or does he already think you're dating? These questions and more plague your mind as you sweep, clean, and other duties.

You find Jimmy, or rather, he finds you some time later. He drags you towards to ticket area, a goofy smile plastered over his face. "I gotta surprise for you. It's great." He had said. Elsa had bought something for the Valentine's Day season that she said will make so much money.

As you make it to there, you see a box. You walk around to the front side and start to laugh. The sign at the top is cream, with red text the says "Love Tester: Think you're hot stuff? Try it out!" Before you can say anything, Jimmy rolls a nickel into the machine and pulls the lever. The light shots up, stopping on the spot that says "Passionate."

He chuckles lowly, licking his lips as he flips another coin in his hand. "You're turn." He almost growls, hugging you from behind and pushing the coin into the slot, placing his hand over yours and guiding it to the lever.

"What, no, this is stupid-" You say, pulling your hand back and accidentally pulling the lever. The light shots up to the spot just above Jimmy's; Hot Stuff.

His smile is wide as he looks at it, eyes lighting up. "You are hot." He whispers in your ear before grabbing your hand again, another coin in the slot as you both pull the lever. It shoots all the way up, making a loud blaring ding as it plays a sweet tone.

"Uncontrollable." You both say in unison.

TATE LANGDON was his name, at first in the beginning, before the two of you first met you thought of him as sort of odd. He didn't really fit in, almost as if he didn't want to in a way. He had the looks, god he had the looks, short blonde hair and his dark eyes that made you still. You never really interacted with groups and sort of did your own thing, just minding your own business. Occasionally, you'd encounter Tate, you decided to only interact with him when it's really necessary.

You never really judged him, you just didn't want to partake in any social cliques and didn't have any friends really. Tate seemed to sense this, and it furthered his sudden interest in you, although you two weren't entirely similar. He felt a bond with you, you didn't feel it or didn't acknowledge it at first, and that was fine with him. He would study you from afar and felt as if you didn't belong with anybody here but him, but he was far too scared to interact with you. You felt the same, but you believed that he was constantly judging you whenever his brown orbs locked with yours.

Soon the two of you would look for each other in the rows of people crowding the long hallways. Forming a silent connection with one another, and slowly you would begin to openly communicate with each other. Just small hi's and hello's, yet both of you wanted to say more but never knew how to say it. Tate was smart, but that didn't seem to be his main catching point. No, it was the shy smiles he would give you once you two would sit together in the cafeteria.

It was how he would talk about how high school was just boring as ever and that the only two people that matter. Were you two. You were perfect in his eyes, everything that he's ever dreamed of, you didn't fit in, and you didn't want to. Just like him. It was almost as if you two were meant to be together, but you didn't realize it as quickly as he did.

And he was gladly willing to wait, I mean the two of you weren't even dating yet, so who was he to tell? Your relationship together did grow, eventually spending more time and time together. You always hung out at your place, him never wanting to be at his and finding comfort in your room. He loved everything about it, he loved everything about you, he loved everything you did and said. He was so infatuated with you.

As you were with him, it wasn't because he was different, it was because he simply was himself. He always sought safety with you, and you gladly provided that solitude for him. Tate was truly the most beautiful person that your eyes could ever lay on, his boyish charm drawing you in. He always made sure that you felt comfortable and swore to do everything to protect you from those judging eyes. It didn't matter to either of you on how you appeared to the rest of the world, only mattering to each other.

Eventually, both of you wanted more, but Tate was too in his head about it, so you decided to make the first move. He finally let you come to his house, but only when his mother wasn't home. You remember how he would cry to you about his troubles and worries with her, you despised the woman deeply. You remember him telling you about how his dad left, not really wanting to talk about it. And you never pushed.

You traced the items in his room, observing every corner and every object that you could come into contact with. He only watched you do so, basking in your presence, content with you being in his closure. Eventually, you seated yourself at the end of his bed, him crawling to lay beside you. Resting his head on your lap and placed your hands in his hair. You brushed through his golden locks and felt him ease into you, as he stared at you with those eyes.

You felt your chest tighten and butterflies fill your stomach, the feeling was new, so you turned away from him. Furthermore, you placed your hands on your side and closed your eyes, releasing a profound sigh. You hated that he looked at you--as if he was in love with you because you… you wanted him to. He quickly sat up and stared up at you, worry taking over his features, overthinking the situation. You felt him tense up beside you, knowing it was his insecurities taking over.

Opening your eyes, you looked at him and just gave a smile, it was enough to ease him but not enough to calm him. You thought for a moment, finally deciding to let your feelings take over. Lifting his palm, you placed it over your face and lightly kissed the end of his fingertips. Tate didn't know what to do, he only stared in awe as you let his hand cradle the side of your face. You stared ahead for a moment as Tate observed your features, wanting to know what you were thinking; what you'd do next.

He didn't expect tears to fall from your eyes as you trembled just beneath him, he perked up and held you more steadily. He was more concerned now and yet even though you were crying, he didn't see any hint of sadness on your features. Only disappointment, which he thought was far worse. Instead, he let you sob into his shoulder and grip onto him as if he was going to leave you any second. He could only whisper words of affirmations into your shoulder as tears also escaped him, the image of seeing you cry made him ache.

You both held onto each other, letting everything out that the two of you bottled and hid away from one another. Only then did you look at him in the eyes, wiping away the tears that slid down his face mournfully. And let the words escape you, "I think I love you." He stilled underneath you, a mix of emotions taking over his features, he was scared to do or say anything. In case you tried to change your mind, you took his quietness the wrong way and retreated away from him.

This made Tate scared, so he quickly, without thinking, reached over to you and kissed you. He kissed you as if you two were dying in each other's arms, and this was the last moment the both of you shared together. It was messy and horrible, but the feeling the both of you shared made up for all of it. You two belonged with each other. You both just rested your foreheads together, childish giggles escaping the both of you as you smiled.

It was like the both of you just received candy for the first time, it was like you two achieved the world together. You two only stayed there for a moment before laying back down together in each other's embrace. Oh, how you wish you could stay at this moment forever together, just with each other. Eventually you two had to depart, but instead of being sullen, you both looked forward to what is to come. Tate was over the moon that night, finally achieving the person of his dreams, he replayed the moment you two shared over and over again; before he eventually fell asleep.

The days and months passed by, and it was all wonderful, the time you two would share together. All the new things that you could finally do with one another, the dates were remarkable. You never thought you could love someone like you loved Tate, and he never thought he can love someone like you again. The ache that he always felt was eventually filled with you and you only, he made you feel like you really did matter. You two were just love sick fools, and it was the best thing in the world.

The years moved forward and everything began to change, and so did the both of you, for the better and for the worse. You decided to focus more with your studies, which meant less time for Tate, and he didn't enjoy it. Not one bit, he would try to reason with you, but he just wouldn't listen, he didn't understand. He didn't care about school, he just cared about you, and that was the problem. He brushed off on how difficult it was for you in school, it was easy for him because of his natural intelligence.

Every time he told you that you'd be fine, you felt as if he was condescending you because it was all just so easy for him. He couldn't understand you, and you began to not be able to understand him. Fights began to become frequent, and you couldn't take it anymore, you loved him, you really did, but you needed to focus on yourself. Before you could focus on him, and he didn't get that concept, so asking for a break wasn't easy. It was hard for the both of you, but Tate handled it worse than you did.

You sat him down in his room and stood before him, Tate suspected what this was about, yet he couldn't come to terms with it. So when your tone shifted to more serious, and you avoided eye contact with him, he denied everything you said. He wouldn't listen and began to sob hysterically and breaking everything he could reach, he couldn't accept it, he didn't want to. Tate wasn't listening to you, so you just decided to leave, you couldn't handle this. He fell to his knees and grabbed onto you, breaking down as he clung onto your legs.

He eventually let you go, and you turned away from his cries, this was only for a moment, you'll be back. But did he know that? You haven't heard from him ever since that day, he stopped showing up to the school. And he didn't reply to your calls and messages, maybe you shouldn't have done this. You began to regret your decision.

After a month or so he reappeared again, a black coat adorning his frame as he strutted past you, almost as if you weren't there. His expression was off, and he seemed out of it, usually he was, but not like this. It was unsettling. You brushed it off, just glad that he was finally back. You headed off to the library to study, since it was quieter there and you could relax peacefully.

You were settled into a corner of the room before you heard a loud noise, you looked around and everyone seemed just surprised as you were. Before it was heard again and screaming from the distance, it finally clicked. Those were gunshots. Everyone in the library began to panic, and the teacher tried to barricade the doorways as everyone hid in separate areas. You quickly rushed under two desks and enclosed in between chairs as silence took place. Then there it was, the sound of heavy footsteps approaching the library, you were terrified.

What scared you more was if Tate was hurt, he was always quick, so you hoped for the best. You hoped for his safety. Then you heard crashing and banging, you shook and held in your cries. Then there it was, they got in. You could only hold your breath as you heard the steps circle around the room.

And before you knew it, you heard mumbling, then a frantic voice and then a bang. You couldn't believe this, you didn't want to, you heard more yelling and pleads and just held your head in between your arms. You didn't want to die, not like this, you still wanted to reconcile with Tate. You still wanted to be with him. Through your fingers, you could see the corpses, but you couldn't see the perpetrator.

Fear took through you as you suddenly realized that they were standing before you, peering through the chairs. And you felt your heart stop, there stood the boy you loved for years. His once beautiful and soul driven eyes staring downward at you, lifeless. You stilled, and you felt tears cascade down your face as a pained expression took place. All you could do was shake and mouth a silent, why?

His expression didn't change, and the gun still was held within his grip as he took in your features. You only cowered beneath him and closed your eyes, sorrowfully content with dying by the hands of your beloved. But the more you waited, there was nothing, eventually you opened your eyes and no longer stood Tate. He was gone. You soon heard the wailing of sirens and the cries of students and teachers, you only laid frozen.

Why hadn't he shot you?

...

Years have passed, and the question still played in your mind, the guilt hasn't subsided. Why were you the surviving victim? Eventually you did grow from it and as soon as you turned 18 you left L.A, you stayed in a different city for a while before you returned. You didn't want to keep running away, you needed to confront it, yet it was still difficult. You stood in front of the house before you, it's much older now but still looked the same as before.

It was his house, you thought if you bought the place it would bring comfort to you. But it only felt unsettling when you stepped inside, you heard what happened to him right after the shooting. Being gunned down, before you couldn't even think about, but now it just leaves a bitter taste at the tip of your tongue. Exploring the house and the rooms, you felt as if you were already being watched, ever corner you turned. Ghostly eyes following your figure.

You've heard of deaths correlated with this house yet for some reason you weren't so scared about dying here. You eventually brushed away the thought and settled with staying in a different room, not wanting to sleep in his. That was the only difficult part in being in the house, so to distract yourself you got a job. You were gone most of the time, this time you decided you needed a few drinks with your coworkers. Eventually, you came stumbling home in a drunken state and laid in which room was the closest.

You felt the sheets beneath you as you tried to make sense of where you were, realization hit you as you gathered your senses. It was his room. Everything seemed to be the same beside minor differences, someone else must've lived here before. You could imagine his faint smell and basked in it for just a moment, you peered up as it felt like someone was staring down at you. There he was looking down at you, he held a confused expression, you shrieked and curled away from him.

Holding your head as you tried to recollect yourself, just telling your imagination to go away. It was silent, then he was gone. Were you hallucinating? Unsure of what to make up of what just happened, you just silently cried as you buried yourself into the bed. You missed him terribly, although you shouldn't, you cried yourself to sleep that night.

A ghost watched over you, he could only really stare from afar, afraid to scare you like he did before. Oh, how he wanted to hold you once more, he's spent so long without you, and he finally had you again. He couldn't ruin this, your absence broke him deeply and still hadn't fully moved on from you. He tried to with someone new, violet, but he knew in his core that he wouldn't love anybody like you. It ended as soon as it began, and now he had you again.

You awoke abruptly, the sun radiating through the room's window, were you dreaming last night? Brushing it off, you stumbled out of bed and went back into your room. Ever since then, every night when you would return home, there he stood, looking down at you. You could never make out what type of expression he was making, but it always felt mournful, you were too scared to reach out back to him. But as the months passed by, you stopped trying to hide and push away the remembrance of him.

One particular night when he would appear once more, just to check up on you, too scared to do anything more or less. You reached toward him this time, instead of telling him to go way, and held him gently as you observed his features. He avoided your gaze but let himself melt into your touch, he missed this. Even if this was just your imagination, you loved every second of it, he looked the same as he did before. "I've dreamed of this," was all you said as you held him a little longer, before eventually pulling away.

This felt torturous to the both of you, and you knew you shouldn't do this to yourself, he was only your imagination. So you let go, you pushed him away as you closed your eyes, and he could only stare down at you. He wanted to hold you like he used to, but he knew better, time will tell. Eventually he did show up more around different areas of the house, and you just took it as you slowly becoming crazy. Because he never spoke to you, only stared and let you do what you wanted while he was in your presence.

You didn't mind going insane, only if you could see and feel him a bit more, maybe then it wouldn't be so bad. This time you stared at his dark irises, taking in his form, he hasn't changed, just as you remembered him. "You know, I couldn't bare to say your name after what you did. I was too scared, I felt too guilty to even utter the first letter." Silence overtook you as his expression shifted into remorse, you didn't take notice, instead you continued.

Turning away from him, your throat began to feel dry as you stared forward, not wanting to look at him anymore. You buried your face into the palms of your hands as tears slowly began to take over. "Why'd you do it? Why would you do that? Was it because of me? Did I push you too far? Why would you leave me alive? Why...?" You didn't expect an answer, and you didn't get one, sobs raked through you as you clung onto yourself. What you didn't suspect was him to envelop you into a hug, something familiar.

You let him hold you, a strange feeling taking over you, he was physically there yet he felt so cold. "Why can't you be real?" Was all you muttered before you pushed him away from you and headed out the front door, needing some air. He tried to say something, but his words were caught in his throat as he watched you leave, time will tell entered his mind once more. You came home late that night, only to discover he was where you left him, patiently waiting for your return.

You only gave him a short glance before heading back to your room, letting your thoughts consume you. Staring upward at the ceiling before, you felt a dip in the mattress beside you. He was curled next to you but kept his distance on the bed, not wanting to bother you. He just wanted to be near you. You thought for a moment, slipping your arms around him and pulled him closer to your frame.

Holding him like you used to, a content sigh escaped his lips, relishing in the sentimental feeling. He missed this more than anything, you just holding him and comforting him, it was all he needed. You shakily kissed his forehead and let yourself cherish this moment, you really wished this was real. But you knew he would be gone by morning, and you would go busy yourself once more. "I love you."

The words unconsciously slipped through your lips as sleep took over, and you held him closer. He didn't say anything, he wanted to, but he knew if we were to he would have to answer questions he didn't want to answer. Sure, he was selfish for acting like he couldn't speak to you, but eventually he was going to have to. So, he was going to enjoy this as long as he could, and maybe he will come clean about his whole being dead thing. Just above a whisper, he hid into your arms for more closure, "I love you too."

He hoped you wouldn't have heard his confession, but you had, and a small smile formed on your lips. You would take all the drugs in the world just to keep seeing him and being near him. He was all you ever really did want in this godforsaken world, it was a blessing and a curse. Because in the end all you two ever wanted in the world was each other, one way or another you both were going to achieve it. What you didn't know was that maybe Tate Langdon wasn't just your imagination.

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- I am back from writer's block, hope this was a sufficient apology - Frank Ocean is my soul honestly - Briefly proofread (skimmed) - Maybe a part two if I'm feelin it