#ahs confessions

"A little awkward huh?" he giggled. you nodded. you could feel your face warm and it caused you to smile. you didn’t realize until he smiled back. "You have a really sweet smile." he said, waiting for you to speak. "you do too. i don’t mean to be so quiet. i’m just a little nervous." you informed him as you couldn’t stop mentally reminding yourself that you're 20 and you've never been on a real date. The nerves were destroying you. "Its okay you have nothing to be nervous about." he said, caressing your cheek. ill say, you thought, a pretty boy asked you out on a quiet and lonesome date. all cute and private. you were dying inside at every misstep like you couldn't control yourself. you'd like to believe that you could take control and kiss him or even initiate the conversation but you were just too anxious. you feel safe and comfortable but you still didn't want to embarrass yourself.

You and Evan were sitting on a bench by the lake. it was hushed around other than the waves hitting the boardwalk. he pulled out a pack of smokes. you were shocked. so used to boys being repulsed by smoking. "want a smoke? for the nerves?" he offered. "oh yes." you exclaimed.

you took a long drag. "there we go." you hummed as you blew out the smoke. "all you needed." he told you as he tucked the pack away. your nerves calmed. "i remember the first time i took a hit off a but. i was 15 and i had been the most stressed I'd ever been and i was sitting in the biggest stall in the girls bathroom at school. one of the girls sold me a pack, said, this can help for a bit, less harsh than real drugs. i thought it was odd." you took a drag as he stared intently. "the way she got me on them. i thought, less harsh than real drugs?" you said, explaining how you questioned her persuasion. "i was gonna take them regardless. i took one long hit and coughed my lungs out." you said, causing him to burst out laughing. you smiled. "well you look like a total pro now. super cool." he said. you smiled.

you both leaned into each other and pressed your lips together. Evan was happy to have met such a beautiful girl. one with a mind so complex. he'd become quite fond in a short amount of time. your lips moved in sync along with your bodies. he'd pulled you closer. you has kissed very few boys. but even so you knew Evan was the best. his kissed made you feel warm. not in an anxious, butterflies in stomach or antsy way. but in a way that made you want to sit with him on this bench forever.

"Hey, Peter. I know we haven't been friends for a long time but I wanted to ask you something. Oh god, this is awkward." I said, feeling the blush rise to my face. "Uh okay.. here I go." I said causing him to giggle. "what was your first kiss like?" I asked peter Maximoff, my new friend, as we walked up to the school on an early Monday morning.

"Like my first makeout or like peck?" He asked. "Make out, I guess." I said. "Well, I was 13 or 14." He answered. "But how did it feel?" I asked again. "It was exciting I guess. The girl was my girlfriend. Why?" He asked. I nodded. "I just wanted to know." I said. "What about you?" He asked. "Oh, I've never." I said waving my hands in embarrassment. "Really? You're the first person I've met who hasn't had their first kiss." He said, eyes wide. "That's not a bad thing though." He added. "I know, I know." I giggled awkwardly.

He looked at me and stared in silence. "But really why did you wanna know?" He asked again. "You know I like writing. I've never kissed anyone before so I thought I'd ask you. I remember how you told me about the time you almost got to third base so-." I said trying to cover up the fact that I actually only asked him because I liked him.

His silver hair, his wide shoulders, his humor, his kindness, his big hands, his veiny arms... Okay, I'm getting ahead of myself. He's super hot but he's also the sweetest human you'll ever meet. He cares about me.. platonically, sure but still.

soon, lunch came and we were sitting next to each other at the round table. "I'll be right back. I have to use the bathroom." I said as I got up and walked to the bathroom. I know that it's such a cliche to tell someone you're a kissing virgin and then have them kiss you but I sweat that wasn't my intent when I asked peter about his first kiss.

I was thinking about how everyone praises kissing and how I always hype it up but I don't actually know what it feels like so I thought, why not ask him?

I was walking into the bathroom when I felt a chill on my back. suddenly I was against the wall. "what if it was me." peter said, looking down at me. "huh?" I said, baffled. "what if I was your first kiss. that way you'll be ready for when you get a boyfriend. and it won't be awkward." he suggested. "uh are you okay with that?" I asked. "I mean that's not the reason I had asked you about it. I was just curious." I said, awkwardly standing against the wall. "I'm totally okay with it. it's just a kiss. for me anyway. unless you don't want to. it was just a suggestion." he said, dropping his arms from my shoulders.

we walked into the bathroom and I paced. "this is so weird." I giggled. "let's just get it over with." he said and zoomed over to me and pressed his lips to mine. they were smooth but dry. I brought my hands up to his face. I hesitated to put them to his cheeks but he reassured me when he cupped them and pressed them to his face. I smiled and pulled away. I got all weirdly shy and couldn't make eye contact with him. "well... that was nice. I think. let's head back now." he said, awkwardly. I think he enjoyed it just as much as I did.