#ahku

The first time Ahkŭ leaves her familiar mountain home, it is by accident. Even though the day is sunny, crisp, and dotted with lamb-like clouds, she feels restless. The days, like the clouds above her, seem to crawl lifelessly by, slowly trekking across the landscape to destinations unknown, only to dissipate and fade away.

Ahkŭ, maybe for the first time since becoming, is totally, utterly, unequivocally bored with being. She’s traversed every hillside, explored every rock pile, has run across the entire mountain range more times than she can count, and hasn’t seen a single human in weeks. Ahkŭ can’t even seem to recall how long it had been since the heard of elk had passed through to lap at the snow-melt lake. It had been more than a few days, probably more than a few months. In this new life of hers, cycles are all that she’s privy to. She witnesses the endless toil of growth to life to death, and outlasts.

Ahkŭ knows this new life should be cherished, but today she simply allowed herself to crave the cool embrace of the earth. At the mention of the ground in her thoughts, she digs her paws into the field where her pacing has paused. She looks down the mountain. She feels the tether in her chest fester and curdle her soul. If only she could take a knife and carve out the rotten root; anything to be done with it all.

On the first day of her new life, Ahkŭ traveled down, down, down and away from the peaks that pierce the sky. She was scared. She wanted to go home. With every step, she became sicker—she had only felt that way once. The memories were almost too dense to parse. She remembered being surrounded in a cacophony of concerned whispers, feeling suspended, swimming in her own head, sweat sticking to her dark hair. She saw a white field of mist, and knew she had to return there—but the warm hand of her grandmother fell heavy on her back, holding her in place. She smoothed soothing circles into her spine, dragging her away as the cold mist dissipated and her sickness faded. The tether called out to Ahkŭ in her grandma’s voice. Come back, it whispered. Come back, it cooed. Come back, it yelled. Ahkŭ could not ignore it. She resigned herself to returning to the tree-bare seas of grass and rocks. The winds carried her upwards, folding her back into the swaddle of the tundra. It had felt like a homecoming; her whole soul sighed with relief.

Now, she wanted to scream.

She was stronger now. She could and would make it out.

But where could she go?

Try again for home? …Where were they now? Even if she were to return…who would know her?

Ahkŭ tries to imagine somewhere new.

Somewhere refreshing, with rushing water and rustling leaves, where the sun doesn’t pound down and the wind doesn’t snap across her back.

The world blurs with her concentration; her eyes must be welling with tears. Ahkŭ’s vision swirls and blurs, before sharpening suddenly to a small dot of dark light. Squinting, Ahkŭ stumbles towards the strange sight, nearly tripping over her own feet as she runs in place. She feels herself moving through the air, beyond the air, into…somewhere new.

Hurdling herself through this transition-space-tunnel-river, Ahkŭ feels terrified, but the most alive she’s been since the Transformation. Maybe she’s not ready to throw away this gift quite yet.

She bleeds into the landscape, arriving in a field of stark white mist.

Ahkŭ raises her head, eyes glassy as she comes face to face with a large, elderly ghost. One like her.

Welcome, young one.

🌻Ahku - Hideaway by Jacob Collier

I know whichever way the wind may blow there will be a place for me to go in my hideaway

let me feel the sky and feel the moon let me sing an honest tune to my hideaway trusting wherever I go wandering I’ll find a home in everything in my hideaway

an oldie but goodie from her playlist! I was trying to think of some songs that I think of Just Ahku when I listen to them, and this one has been always one of my favorites for that. I like to imagine her going about her daily rounds to it.

🌊 thuja - Redwood Tree by Jamie Drake

you can almost hear the notes just falling reverberating through that old rosewood

kinda like just swinging without* music kinda like we're dancing in the breeze kinda want to stay here forever kinda like a big redwood tree

*using my misheard lyrics because i like them better lol! this was hard for thuja since almost all of her playlist is instrumental since i just imagine her communicating that way instead of with words! but this is a lyrics-heavy song that makes me think of her ;v;

🔥 Denora - Coldest Colorado by John Craigie

or the coldest Colorado, or the hottest Louisi-Ann or the driest Mojave, I will write you when I can every songbird sings its tune, as it chases the waning moon and I can’t follow something that does not move

and the big one: