#admiration

They call it stalking because they only understand possession. They don't understand what it means to sit in the quiet darkness, three paces behind someone, simply admiring the way they carry light into a room that doesn't deserve them. It's not a chase, it's a sanctuary built entirely out of watching her exist in a world that's far too dark to ever deserve her.

The fear is thrilling, and horrifying. Relieving, knowing that I am alive enough to be seen. Yet, learning that I have stage fright. I was cast into the shadows, supporting those who wanted to shine while weeping in the very arms that held me since the beginning. I befriended the monsters under my bed, the boogeyman in my closet, the hands and eyes that lurk in the corners of my room and I found peace. Yet, they all gently push me into this faded light, not too bright to be blinding- but still enough to be seen, and after so many years of not being seen... its scarier than those Ive befriended.

This isn't me hating on the adults in my life btw, we're all human and make mistakes, that includes with my parents and others. I just now, one day, want to be that supportive adult to another... maybe my siblings or any future children I may have

For what she saw, I was all at awe, to recognize such tender pining.