#adhd vent

The internet has watered down ADHD to the silly hyperfixation disorder and like I genuinely wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, do you realize how awful it is to be laying in bed mentally kicking yourself over and over to just go do your work, you've done it before, it's easy, go DO IT, but the best you can do is doodle fictional characters all over it while you sit in your room and wait for someone to come in and scream at you to do your work, which just makes you not want to do it more. Like genuinely do you realize how awful that feels. You feel broken and worthless do you really think it's the quirky hyperactive fixation disorder because if so fuck you. Genuinely

I will forever mourn the fact that I will never truly know or feel what it is to be normal. I will never have or understand a true baseline because I am all that I will ever know. There are likely many struggles I have that have gone ignored and unnoticed because it is all I know. I will never truly grasp my abnormalities because in order to know what is abnormal I must have a normal to compare it to. And my normal will never be normal.

The worst part of ADHD is knowing your best is someone's worst