#adaw

“w-what?”

the way nayeon’s looking at her, bright and hopeful eyes, downturned lips, and folded hands destroys her.

“momo, i…i like girls.”

momo’s heart beats, furiously, pounding in her chest, aching like a wound and she does not know why.

“oh…”

she’s surprised. why should she be surprised? she’s known it for weeks, she just didn’t think that…it was something real.

that it was just her imagination when nayeon’s fingers would graze another girl’s hand, and she’d pull back, blushing furiously. that it was just her imagination when nayeon turned her gaze downward in the girls’ locker room, keeping to herself. that it was just her imagination when nayeon’s eyes would oh-so-quickly dart down to a girl’s lips while she was talking.

“is…is that weird?”

nayeon shrinks back, and to her, it probably feels like the weight of the world is on her shoulders, if her own best friend can’t accept her.

“n-no! no, it’s not weird, i just…”

she just what? why is she reacting this way? her best friend has just entrusted her with something so dear to her, that it could destroy her, and here she is gaping like a fish.

why?

“you’re the first person i’ve told,” nayeon says, eyes turning to her fingers as she wrings them nervously. “i haven’t told anyone else yet.”

momo’s chest feels like it’s going to burst at the sound of nayeon’s soft, nervous voice, like she’s afraid of getting scolded.

why?

why does she feel this way?

“i-i see…how did you…how did you know?”

it’s a question that requires further insight into, as to why it’s being asked. why does momo need to know that? what good does it do momo knowing how nayeon knew she felt this way for girls?

nayeon shrugs, much to momo’s dismay.

“i just…didn’t like boys the way everyone did,” she wrinkles her nose. “boys are kind of ew.”

momo can’t help but agree girls were much more pleasant. soft, warm, kind girls. nothing like boys at all.

her chest tightens once more, as if there’s a realization to be had that she’s so close to but isn’t quite there yet.

“okay, i…thanks for telling me…?”

she’s unable to mask the confusion in her voice. whether it’s directed towards nayeon’s burgeoning feelings or the rapid beating of momo’s heart, she’s not sure. nayeon doesn’t seem to notice.

“of course, momo.”

she reaches out, taking momo’s hand in hers, and playing with her fingers. to others, they may just seem like ordinary high school girls, gossiping and whispering to each other, but to momo, it always feels like they’ve been something…more.

“you’re my best friend,” nayeon continues. “how could i not tell you?”

every crushed feeling in momo’s chest threatens to burst forth, overwhelmed at the sudden shockwave of pure adoration she has for the girl in front of her.

nayeon is her best friend.

best friend.

the title slips so easily from momo’s lips, and the wave of emotion she’s been riding dies so quickly.

is that really all they are?

“of course,” momo doesn’t let her disappointment tinge her voice. “i’m glad you told me.”

nayeon doesn’t stop playing with momo’s fingers, and despite the pleasant feeling momo has just from being touched by nayeon, she can tell that there’s something more she wants to say.

“there’s…there’s something else.”

momo swallows, unsure why the air around them takes on a certain quality to it, like secrets being kept in the dark of an archive.

“yeah? you know you can tell me anything, nayeonnie.”

the pet name puts a smile on nayeon’s face, and it’s so easily wonderful how happy that makes momo.

nayeon exhales sharply.

“i have a crush on someone.”

in an instant, momo’s heart leaps to her throat.

“o-oh?”

nayeon nods, and every slight movement of her fingers against momo’s skin sets her on fire.

“mhm. i have for a while now.”

a while? nayeon’s liked this person for a while?

“um…who is it?”

it’s then that nayeon shrinks in on herself, gets shy. she isn’t usually shy. momo thinks she should be shy more often.

“she’s in our year.”

momo’s chest tightens once more.

“she’s from japan.”

her heart’s about to burst.

“she’s a really good dancer.”

what is this feeling?

“i’ve been with her for a while, now…”

it feels like she’s on clouds, so high in the sky.

“…and i can’t really imagine life without her.”

what is it?

“i really like her, momo.”

it’s then that she puts a name to her feelings. something that’s eluded her for so long. something that’s left her with sleepless nights and restless mornings.

it’s the way nayeon always picks her up from school, and drops her off at home, the same toothy smile on her lips.

it’s the way nayeon invites her over to her room, plastered in posters and regalia of various idols while pop music blasts from her stereo.

it’s the way nayeon never forgets to buy an extra snack for momo, even taking the time to feed it to her herself.

it’s the way nayeon’s hands fit so perfectly into momo’s, intertwining fingers so easily it’s like second nature to them.

it’s the way nayeon’s embrace always has momo sighing in contentment, her scent always managing to calm momo down.

it’s the way nayeon’s smile absolutely wrecks her, leaving her damaged and broken, a stupid smile on her face as she returns her happiness.

it’s love.

momo loves nayeon.

and as nayeon grins at her, teeth showing in that adorable way they always do, momo marvels at how high love can take her.

“it’s mina.”