it's Deaf awareness month! I'm congenitally and culturally Deaf. I come from a deaf family and my first language was ASL though my family switched to oralism at a young age
I grew up Deaf and I grew up trying to be palatable to hearing people. I wanted to be accepted and included in their world so I tried my hardest to fit in but I learned it was never enough and never would be enough. the hearing world was always destined to hate the Deaf world, we are incompatible.
no matter how hard I tried to tone down my bluntness I was still rude
no matter how hard I tried to hear what other people were saying I was still ignoring them
no matter how many times I'd apologize for needing repeats I still didn't care what they were saying
no matter how many times I asked questions in class and engaged in discussion I was still lazy and not paying attention
the world is cruel to Deaf people and eventually I decided that I needed to stop trying to be hearing. I relearned ASL and started to connect with the community around me. my friends started to learn sign and it felt like healing. the first time I had a full conversation in ASL with another Deaf person in my adult life I felt like crying tears of joy because I knew I had found my home. I knew I had a community that would understand me. for the first time in my life I wasn't lazy and ignorant, I wasn't rude and I wasn't uncaring. the Deaf community feels safe and like home, it's magic.
