I think what a lot of non-traumagenics don't understand is that this isn't a "people in your head" disorder. It's disassociation, losing days or weeks at a time. It's being unaware when time is passing. It's not having a sense of self. Not knowing what you enjoy, or being unable to enjoy what you enjoy. It's looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person in it.
It's looking at close family photographs and not knowing who any of the people are. It's forgetting friends, forgetting family, forgetting loved ones. Forgetting peoples' faces, their voices, not understanding who's texting or calling you. It's not remembering even having fun, or happy events.
It's difficulty with school and work, sometimes being physically unable to comprehend the information you're receiving. It's losing your job because you forget that you even have one. It's being lucky if you even graduate. It's being unable to have a driver's license if you get diagnosed. It's not being able to even get a job if you have it listed as a disability in your paperwork.
It's being paranoid, afraid of the people around you. It's random bouts of emotions that make no sense, such as anger or fear. It's not being able to remember what some emotions feel like. It's even not being able to process emotions.
It's intrusive thoughts that feel impossible to get around. It's potentially endangering yourself or others, sometimes without even knowing why. In cases of abuse, it's intrusive thoughts about being abused. It's unwanted desires, impulses, and urges. It's being terrified of your own mind.
It's comorbid with other disorders that are created from trauma. Systems often are borderline, narcissistic, antisocial, histronic, obsessive compulsive, schizoid, etc etc etc, multiple of them, or in extremely severe cases, almost all of them.
Of course, these experiences vary from person to person, however this isn't "there are people in my head" funtimes. CDDs are created from extreme childhood trauma, usually abuse, where our personalities split to cope with the trauma. Alters are a symptom, not the whole disorder.
If you're non-traumagenic, or support them in any capacity, you're ableist. Point blank. And if you are tulpa or support them, you're racist, too. Tulpamancy is an advanced spiritual practice from Eastern Asia religions that takes years to understand and perform. It is completely different than alters.
You don't have people in your head, you don't have alters/headmates/parts if you don't have a dissociative disorder. Plain and simple.
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I guess this is luckily being talked about more, but if you have symptoms of a complex dissociative disorder (DID, OSDD-1, P-DID), but you don't remember any "super horrific trauma" that doesn't mean that 1) you don't have a CDD because the trauma "wasn't bad enough" or 2) that there's secret, repressed memories of extreme trauma in your subconscious. Maybe you do remember most of what happened to you, but you've normalised it to yourself as "not that bad". Us trauma survivors tend to minimise our own trauma. One time, a friend of mine had gone to group therapy and everyone was telling bits of their pasts. He was sitting back thinking "wow, they all went through some really terrible stuff. I got lucky that my trauma isn't that bad", but then one of the others came up to him later and told him she was really horrified by his story and how she couldn't imagine having to survive that. And then he realised that even though he knew his childhood had been fucked up, he was still undermining just how bad it was. And honestly, that person who came up to him was doing the same
I'm not saying that you can't have any hidden trauma memories of extreme abuse. You absolutely can, of course - that's the case for many. But also remember that you currently might be brushing off the trauma you do remember. Maybe you think "it wasn't that bad", but do all of you agree? Is there some part of you that will freeze up and panic when you're reminded of that thing from your past? Maybe you don't personally hold the trauma reactions as a part, but perhaps there's some other part of you who's holding onto the trauma, so you can function in your daily life. Just want this to be a reminder to those who need it
"so, why do you hate endos so much?" well, let's think about it.
major content warning for child abuse, syscourse, system formation, endogenics, suicide, and related topics. this is typed in a way that is disjointed to simulate memory loss and gaps in memory. if you believe this will upset you, please scroll.
you're four years old. someone close to you has just laid their hands on you for the first time. this will be the first of many occurrences. you won't know about it until many years later.
you're eight years old. when teachers call your name in class, you won't reply. not because you don't hear it, but because it doesn't feel like you. you're not sure if it's ever been your name. maybe you're transgender. you just read about that on the internet. you will spend years going back and forth on labels that will never fit right, and you will spend years forgetting what labels you've tried.
you are nine years old. your grades are already failing. you can't pay attention in class. you don't know what happens when you go home. you wake up the next day sore and covered in bruises and something else that you can't recall right now. you're not sure what you mean by right now, there's just right now, and right now you go to school. you don't remember going to school. you're back at home. did you ever leave? you're twenty two years old.
you are ten years old. fictionkinning is all the rage on the internet. it's given you something to attach to. that's nice. you know who you are for once.
you are thirteen years old. you've always been thirteen years old. you don't know anything that happened before being thirteen.
you are thirteen years old. you haven't stopped having imaginary friends. you think you're schizophrenic. you will self diagnose yourself as such for years, because you want a label to tie yourself down with. you want to know yourself, because you're not sure you ever have. when do you learn how to do that, anyways? everyone around you seems like they know. you are seven years old.
you are sixteen years old. have you ever not been sixteen? you must've spawned in like this.
you are seventeen years old. you've just learned about systems online. you don't get it.
you are twenty years old. you've just crashed your- no, you didn't. how'd your car get totaled? when did you have a car? you're thirteen years old. you can't even drive. were you driving? there's other people here. you've known they were there. but since when? someone tells you that you've known for two years. what? it's been longer than that. you've known since you were
you're four years old. something happened to you this year, but really, it's been sixteen years.
there never was a four year old. you have always been twenty two. when did you turn twenty two?
you're in a community for people like you. you've been handed a diagnosis, but it's been a while. you don't remember when you got it. someone else does. he's your friend, but he's you. that's nice to have.
you meet someone. they say they experienced something similar to you. that's nice. you spend days, weeks, months talking and getting closer. you bond over your systemhood, you tell them everything, they tell you everything. they tell you that they became a system later in life. you ask them how that works. they tell you they "willed it." you ask if something really did happen to them after all.
they say no. they just didn't want to be shunned from "their community."
the person you had known for months has lied to you this entire time.
the person you had known for months has claimed solidarity with you, but they never once experienced it.
the person you had known for months thinks that your dissociation is a fun concept. they think it's fascinating that the human mind can do that. they think it's wonderful to have friends and to never be alone. all you've wanted is to remember properly and to be alone for once. when did you want that?
when did you meet this person? was there ever a person?
you're sixteen years old. you never had that friend. someone else here had that friend, but they weren't your friend.
you try and remember for once, but someone tells you that you've done this before. you've tried to remember, and you've remembered everything all at once, and then you've forgotten.
you will do this daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, and you will forget it every time.
but your internal friend's friend will never do that. they will continue to use a label that has ruined your life, and they will use it for fun. they will find all of this nonsense. they will think you are "exclusionary." they will think that you are a terrible person. they will think you are the problem.
they will tell you to take your own life. you wish you had. someone tells you that you've tried before. all you can say is, "oh." you wonder if it worked. you wonder if this is hell.
they will have fun. you will continue to suffer.
you are four sixteen twelve thirteen twenty-two twenty years old. something happened to you, somewhere along the way. you don't remember. someone else.
So, we're doing a post that's nothing on an ask we've been sent or anything however it's one we feel is important to make as we've been refinding mutuals and saw something. By the time y'all see this, our DNI will even include the topic of today's discussion
Polyminds
Now before we start discussing, here's a few basic things to get out of the way. The first and biggest: Do not go harass anyone. Harassment is not something we tolerate or encourage.
The second, when we say you, it is the general you. This is not at any one person specifically, instead it is the general you.
The third one, what source we're using for this. We are using the one we've seen suggested to friends of ours who are openly anti-polymind on Tumblr, their own carrd. Now we don't typically use carrd's as information however seeing as how this is commonly suggested, we want to talk about it. Onto our discussion
What even are polyminds?
Polyminds, as defined in their carrd, is "a self-identifiable term that refers to a person that is capable of seeing their subpersonalities as unique individuals". That alone is not a bad thing, it's something that actually a lot of people do.
However, even when answering the question "What are subpersonalities?" they are explaining what a regular person does. The carrd explains it through the example of a woman who is going through her day. Waking up her kids, she becomes "the Mother". When going to work, "Ms. Executive". When coming home to the partner, "Lover".
This is what people do. The way a singlet interacts with every person is that exact thing. The difference in how you would interact with a partner, a parent, siblings, and colleagues are all completely different as that is human nature. A person is not just one face to the world, they have different aspects of who they are as a person.
In the "About" section of the carrd, they explain polymindence as "simply the ability for a person to say "oh, Lover is active right now" whilst also assigning unique identities to each of them". You, reader, may be wondering what is wrong with that. That inherently starts forcing a dissociation in a person, something that is highly harmful.
If you were to sit there and define the way you act with a child, for example, as "the Mentor", that starts you treating that part of you not as you. You become second to that stage. That is causing dissociation, even without being on purpose
That also sounds eerily like how many textbooks actively explain DID and the different alters. The glaring similarities do not end there and will be further discussed throughout this post
The About section also explains how polyminds happen. They do state in the first sentence, "all though in most cases it is entirely involuntarily". That alone is not a bad thing. The writer then discusses how it can come from maladaptive daydreaming, which is not something we will comment on. However turning and then saying "Whilst others may have been put under such intense stress over a long period of time that their subpersonalities distinguished over time due to how often they activated".
Phrasing "activation" as that for when you act different depending on who your near sounds exactly like how someone would phrase when there is a switch in a system. Acting differently depending on the situation is a totally normal and healthy thing. Acting different dealing with say your child and then your partner is a standard part of existing.
What is they're explanation for plurality/systems?
We phrased it explicitly like that since they have two different questions however we don't want to copy the carrd's format. The explanation for not being a system is that DID/OSDD (also known as systems) are mental disorders. Polyminds, however, are not. Due to, as it says and I will quote, "...functions off subpersonalities, which is something everyone has". We will not argue against that, subpersonalities is part of every single being (phrased that way specifically for alterhumans/nonhumans to be included, as they themselves will say they are not human (alterhumans/nonhumans, not polyminds))
On if they are plural, the carrd can only say it is up to the polymind. However we have an issue with that statement alone. Poly as a prefix means "many" or "several" or "multiple" and is derived from the Greek word "polys". Polymind then means many mind, several mind, or multiple mind. Plural means, from Merriam-Webster dictionary, "of, relating to, or constituting a class of grammatical forms usually used to denote more than one or in some languages more than two". By the literal definition, the term "polymind" means whoever would be it would be plural. By definition
However we do have a bone to pick with part of this in the FAQ section of this carrd
Response to "How do polyminds differ from IFS?"
This carrd creator describes IFS, or Internal Family System, which is a therapy technique. It is not OSDD/DID, it is a technique used by therapists. IFS has the end goal of getting all of a person's subpersonalities to work together in harmony, something that trauma, stress, and many other factors can disrupt.
The carrd reiterates that polymind just means that someone can distinguish subpersonalities and that "...subpersonalities in polymindence do not have to get along, let alone work together harmoniously". That sentence may, in fact, cause more harm then good
A person's subpersonalities are supposed to help them function in the world. If they do not have to "get along let alone work together harmoniously", as is a direct quote, that is harmful to a person. It stops a person to function in a smooth way, since fundamental parts of a person don't work together.
The carrds acknowledgment on potential harm
This card does, thankfully, acknowledge that it can be harmful to overanalyze subpersonalities. However, they attempted to defend polyminds as "not about actively separating and distinguishing your subpersonalities, it is not about how one became polyminded. Instead, the term simply exists for those who have already distinguished their subpersonalities for any reason."
You may be thinking that doesn't sound harmful however I'm going to use an example. Systems, those with DID/OSDD, is a term to describe those with different identity states due to trauma. Notice the fact that now we have those claiming you don't need trauma at all to be a system. Polyminds have already delved into, from things we've seen when we first were learning about the meaning, people asking how to do it, discussing how to do it, acting as if it's something fun and that should be praised.
While it may not be the intention, this has already led to people purposely dissociating themselves to that point. Also, again, I will reiterate that this is something most people can do. They can recognize how they act different depending on who they're interacting with. That is why there is a common remark in media of someone going "I've only been interacting with this kind of person for so long, I forgot how to act with this situation". That's something most everyone can do, adding a specific term is not just unnecessary but many who use the term are actively pushing for people to dissociate or to claim they are automatically systems due to the ability to distinguish
Now we are about to address something that we have found to be the most key point to what we will address in our conclusion on our issues with polyminds: they, at this point, seem like nothing but another attempt at endogenic systems. We will explain more after this section.
Terms and the suspicious correlation
Terms are something that have many categories on this carrd, and we will be going through them one by one. However we will be explaining things alongside it
"Active. When a specific mind or minds are present". Or in other terms, when you act a certain way depending on the situation. Yet it sounds very similar to what many systems call "front", or when a specific alter(s) are in control of the body.
"Active-Stuck. A state where a specific mind or minds are unable to stop being active". This caused an immediate concern with us. Subpersonalities depend on what situation you are in. Unless you are unable to leave the situation or, as has happened and was even referenced earlier in the post, have been in that situation for so long it is hard to change from it at first, that shouldn't be possible. That, instead, sounds like being "front-stuck" or when an alter(s) can't leave front.
"Collective Self. An identity that most, if not all minds feel represented by." Starting with the most glaring obvious point, subpersonalities are all part of one identity. They are just different aspects of said identity, or the way someone can act like a parent, a child, a boss, an employee, a friend, all of that. There is no reason why there would be an identity that not everyone represents. However that does sound like a "collective identity", a common thing in systems where they have something like a name that many are okay with being identified as.
To continue this post we will need to in a reblog of it, since we are near the word limit. We are posting this part now and will most likely queue the rest of the reblog(s) so, please be patient. Consider this part 1
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I’ve never liked it when endogenic plurals would call being endo “neurodiverse”. Like… hello? I thought you claimed to not be disordered? Neurodivergence refers to disorders that change the way your brain is structured. ??
Their logic loves to run in circles all the time it’s so fucking annoying. I promise you do not need to refer to yourself with disabled terms to feel special babes
Literally!!
To be neurodivergent in the first place, you are either born with it, or there are factors that take place later in life that alter the way your brain develops and functions.
For stuff like autism/adhd/down syndrome/dyslexia/tourette’s syndrome etc. people are born with these as developmental differences. These are also often (but not always) hereditary and genetically prone to form neurodivergency.
Stuff like ptsd, personality disorders, schizophrenia spectrum disorders, dissociative disorders and more, are most times caused by trauma or other external stressors and factors which eventually affect the brain enough to alter its structure and develop disorders. And while yes you can also be genetically predisposed to some of these, they do not develop until later in life.
For systemhood and complex dissociative disorders, you literally CANNOT be born with them because a child does not have a fully formed personality/identity yet, it develops between the ages of 6-9. The only way systemhood is possibly is for a child to undergo high stress and trauma before/during those ages, something HAS to happen to disrupt the process and develop into distinct alter states instead of just ego states with one cohesive personality.
I lived in a dissociated state constantly for ages 6-12. I still dissociate near constantly, I’m just aware of it now. I seldom ever know who I am. I am incapable of feeling like a whole person, I feel less than, shattered, broken.
But I’m so glad my disorder seems fun enough to you to treat it like a queer identity.
