#actor tom

The drive home with Tom was almost silent, but he held my hand intermittently at every opportunity he could whilst driving. Nothing needed to be said. Upon getting home, we didn’t trip through the front door giddily like we might once have done; instead we entered gently, and smiling started to slowly remove the others’ coat and scarf. Then I continued to carefully unbutton his shirt, whilst he swept my hair back from my face and lifted my jumper off over my head. The whole time I kept staring into those beautiful, gently blue eyes, which kept staring back into mine. We were both now topless and it was then that Tom leant down and pressed his lips against mine. It was unlike all our other kisses – there was something intangible about it. Things started to get out of control then; we staggered into the bedroom, barely moving our bodies away from each other the whole time before Tom swept me up onto the bed. Before I knew it he was on top of me and now we were basically ripping the others’ clothes off, our kissing ferocious and impassioned. Feeling his naked body against mine after all the distance between us made me shudder with pleasure, and I sat up then flipped him onto his back so I was on top. We both of us couldn’t help moan for the pleasure, whispering each others’ names, then before long moaning them, punctuated by gasps as we both came.

Afterwards, we lay together holding each other. Tom’s skin under my fingers was warm and smooth as I lightly traced circular patterns over his chest and arms. “I love you,” I said simply, because it was so obvious. Of course I loved him, and somewhere within myself I knew that I’d never love anyone else the same way and I didn’t want to. Tom tilted his head down to look into my eyes, unblinking and gently sincere. “I love you too,” he said plainly, as if it was obvious to him as well. “It’s because I love you so much that I want this. It won’t be easy – no one has an easy ride, and this doesn’t mean we’ll never have problems ever again. But for you, I will spend my life trying to be the best version of myself; to be the most honest, caring, understanding and hardworking partner that you deserve.”

“And I’ll do the same for you,” I said. “I’d do anything for you, and that’s the most either of us can do.”

             “Oh… he was just giving me an update on his niece.” She answered.              “Hmm… are you sure? Why are you grinning like that?”              “I’m sure! I’m just happy ‘cause it’s Friday! I’m not working this weekend, so I’m gonna catch up on some sleep… that makes me happy… and that’s why I’m grinning.” Olivia winked at her nurse.               With an unbelieving nod, Claire let the Doctor pass. Olivia was glad she was in the clear when the clinic door slammed behind her… Claire always asked too many questions for her own good.               Finally Olivia found her way to the Donmar, and found a parking lot a block away. She enjoyed her walk to the warehouse, even though the weather was rather frigid. She just clutched her coat around herself, and tried not to trip over the cobblestone path. The stage door on the side of the building came into view, and so did the small crowd of people around it. As Olivia passed through the crowd, she heard the murmurs from the people… “Have you heard if Tom is coming out after the show tonight?” and “I really have to pee, but I am not giving up my spot here, just in case we get to see him…”                She raised her eyebrows and her hand, knocking lightly on the door.   After a moment, the door cracked open and a brown eye peeked out.               “Can I help you?” The man asked.               “Um… I’m Dr. Beckett… here for… Tom.” Olivia said quietly as she lifted her Doctors bag and jiggled it in front of the man.               The door closed for a moment, which awkwardly left the group of people watching her intently. She could feel the gaze of one young woman, so she turned her head to smile slightly at her. 
               “Are you his girlfriend?”                “Hmm?” Olivia had heard the young woman, she was just shocked that she had been so outspoken. “Oh! Oh, no… I’m just a doctor.”               “Is something wrong with him?” The young woman seemed genuinely concerned.               “Uhh… no… he’s fine.” She didn’t know how to answer that question.               “So… why are you here?”               Livi bit her lip and looked back to the door wishfully. Please door, open…               The heavy black door opened again, and a large man stood there… she matched him with the brown eye that peeked out at her a moment ago.         “Okay, come in.”               “Thank you…” Really, he had no idea how glad she was that he opened the door at that exact moment.               “Tom’s in his dressing room in make-up… but I’ll take you to him.” The large man said, as he looked back on her.               “Okay, thanks….” Livi said lackadaisically as she looked around. She could hear people on stage practicing lines, and the clanging of metal against the hard floor. She had never been into theatre, but this was kinda interesting. The slight stage dust in the air almost twinkled with the lights…                The man stopped beside a door, and held his arm out motioning for Livi to enter. “He’s through there.”                She nodded and quietly stepped through the door. She was in what she figured to be a large theatre dressing room, with make-up all over the place, props, and a plaid couch that had probably seen it’s better days. She didn’t immediately see Tom, but there seemed to be a bathroom off of the dressing room, and she could hear his voice mingled in with a woman’s drifting out.                “Tom?” She asked as she quietly knocked on the bathroom door. When she peeked her head inside, she saw him sitting in a chair, with a plate on his lap, scarfing down an enormous grilled chicken salad, and a beautiful woman worked on some wound makeup on his left arm. 

         “Ah! The good doctor is here.” He said as he winked sat her. “Jasmine, could you give us a bit, please?”             The woman smiled as she obliged, and passed Olivia in the doorway. She got a good look at the woman’s lovely tattoos as she passed, and cringed a bit in jealousy… sometimes she wished that her profession wasn’t as strict as it was.             He placed what was left of his salad dish on the table beside his chair, and grinned at her as he pointed to his forehead. “Well? Am I going to make it? What do you think?”            Oh, yeah… that. She was just standing here staring, completely forgetting what she came for.              “Let’s take a look and see. I’d hate for them to have to cancel the show because the seemingly immortal lead actor perished from a head wound.”              He laughed. “Mmm-hmm. That’s would be tragic… but how very Shakespearean!”               She cleared her throat as she placed her bags on the floor beside his chair, and timidly stepped between his long legs to get a closer look. “Does it hurt?” She asked as she wrinkled her nose, and pulled the piece of gauze that he had placed there from his skin.               Tom’s head suddenly went blank for a moment as he watched her face mere inches from his… her beautiful, twinkling brown eyes, and her full lower lip as she bit it… then she did the wrinkly-nose thing, and that completely threw him off. “Um… no, not really. Not anymore. It hurt when it happened, I felt like my whole blasted head was going to fall off.”              “Aw, you poor thing.” She giggled. “Well, you do indeed need a stitch. I think you really only need one, though, maybe two. I’ll know more after I start.”               He nodded. “I was afraid of that. Well… how do you want me?”               She wished her mind didn’t go to places it shouldn’t. “Well, you’ll need to be lying down.”                “How about the couch?” He asked as he nodded his head toward his dressing room.               “Um… yeah, that should work.”                She pulled all her instruments, and the things she’d need for the procedure from her bag, and set up a makeshift surgical suite right in his dressing room.               He watched as she methodically and perfectly laid everything out. “Do you think you’ll really need all those things? I’m not too fond of needles…”               “I’m afraid so. And really, Tom, I should have made you go to A&E. These aren’t the most sanitary conditions.”              “I know, I know. I told you that I’d owe you one.”               “Just don’t sue me when the gangrene sets in, please.” She chuckled.   After trying a couple different positions, Olivia finally found a comfortable position, with Tom’s head resting in her lap, tilted back a smidge. She reached over, pulling the table to the edge of the couch, before pulling on her latex gloves. “I need to clean it up some, since it’s been open for hours.”              “Yes, darling, do what you need to.” He closed his eyes in nervous anticipation of what was to come.               Livi cleaned the outside of the split skin as carefully as possible, while trying to control the bleeding. “Now… for the lidocaine. This will sting.”              His eyes shot open as he looked up to her with a needle full of clear liquid, and she could see his large hands clutch the fabric of his black Jordan pants.              “Are you really afraid?”              “Well… just a bit. Have been ever since I was a boy.”              “Just look into my eyes. It’ll be over with before you know it.” She smiled warmly at him.              He did as she asked, looking deeply into the pretty doctor’s eyes. He noticed that they weren’t exactly brown, as they had a lot of bright gold running through them, and they were absolutely stunning. Her eyes darted back and forth between the gash, and his crystal clear, cobalt-blue colored eyes. She inserted the needle multiple times, making sure the area was completely numb, and he didn’t even flinch.            “Okay, see? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”             To be honest, he was so mesmerized that he didn’t even know she had done it. He shook his head, and breathed out a sigh of relief, all the same. “I didn’t even feel it. You seem to have the touch, Doctor Beckett.”            “Oh, call me Olivia.”             “Okay then… Olivia.” The way her name rolled off his tongue was absolutely freaking beautiful.            “Now, for the stitches.” She picked up the forceps and the needle holder, and quickly went to work before the medicine began to wear off.            “So, you said you had only been in London for three months?” He asked her, as he was much more relaxed now.             “Mmm-hmm…”            “Where did you come from?”            Her eyebrows knitted together. “Why?”            “I was just curious… just making small talk, since my head is in your lap.”             When she said nothing after that, he continued. “Well, whereabout do you live now?”             “I’m renting a flat… Dressage Court…”             “Oh, that’s Bethnal Green, right?”             “Mmm-hmm…” She concentrated as she moved the needle through his skin.            “That area’s a bit dodgy, isn’t it?”            She shrugged. “No, it’s okay. There are parts of it that aren’t very good… but for the most part, it’s just fine. It’s a mischievous little neighborhood. I don’t mind it.”

My mouth dropped open in shock. “What? How can you even say that to me? No. No, no, no.”

“Oh come on, Laura!” he’d yelled in exasperation. “This is ridiculous! You don’t seriously mean you still believe all that crap David told you? Tom’s a wreck, for christ’s sake, and so are you.”

“I’m not a wreck, don’t patronise me!” though I felt my throat tighten as I said it. “And it’s not crap, he has proof. You’re just being childish because you don’t like David.”

“No, I don’t like him, because he’s a lying scumbag.”

“For fuck’s sake Stef, you’re meant to be my friend, I thought you were on my side!”

“I am on your side!” he insisted, “Which is why I’m trying to help you before you do something you regret. You’re not stupid so I don’t understand why you’re behaving like you are; ignoring Tom while he’s trying to fix things.”

“Oh… yeah?” I spluttered. “Well, I don’t appreciate you getting everyone to do your dirty work for you. Everyone’s been saying this; even Benedict called me the other night, treating me like a child!”

“That’s because you’re behaving like one.”

I was utterly speechless for a few moments so Stefan took the opportunity to have even more of a rant. It sounded like he’d been saving it up for months, not weeks. “Look, we’ve all been calling because we care about you; both of you. Now you say there is ‘proof’, have you seen it?”

The abruptness of it startled me for a second and I faltered. “What?”

“Have you seen David’s alleged ‘proof’?”

“No! No, I… I didn’t want to…” I trailed off.

“Well maybe it’s time you did,” he snapped before hanging up, a loud buzzing filling my ear.

And that was when the first seeds of doubt started to be planted in my mind.

Tom’s P.O.V.

I almost couldn’t speak I was so taken aback, having her so close once again after all these weeks apart. Before Laura had walked in I was still harbouring that burning anger and jealousy but now that she sat in front of me, it all just appeared to melt away. Her green eyes were still regarding me coldly but there was something softer about her this time. Seeing as how she seemed to be waiting for me to say something, I decided to jump right in and cleared my throat.

“Listen, “ I began hesitantly, wary of her gimlet eyes, “I just want to make this clear that this is not me trying to beg for you to come back. I have resigned myself to the fact that that is never going to happen, but… but I want to make things clear. I never believed you cheated.” Her eyes widened slightly at that but she still didn’t interrupt so I carried on. “Not really. I was jealous, insecure and above all extremely stupid, which are not excusable reasons. But I… I guess what I’m trying to say is that if this really is the end, I don’t want you to go away from it thinking that I truly believed that you betrayed me, because I don’t. And I’m sorry. For everything.”

She continued to regard me with the same stony expression and for a moment I thought she was going to start off on another snarling tirade. Instead, she blinked slowly and licked her lips hesitantly before saying in softly controlled voice, “Thank you.”

I was a little surprised. “You’re… welcome. I just thought you deserved a proper explanation.”

Laura nodded slowly, her eyes fixed on the table. “I want to say I’m sorry too,” she said quietly, “and I am for not telling you that David was still trying to contact me, that was wrong. That much is very obvious.” She finally forced herself to look at me. “But I can’t… I can’t…”

“You can’t believe that I didn’t cheat on you,” I finished listlessly, feeling instantly deflated.

Laura continued to look at me a second more then hastily got to her feet, almost tripping over herself as she struggled to extract herself from the maze of chairs and tables. “I’m, I’m… I’m going now…” she said with a tremor in her voice. I didn’t even have in me to protest before she’d already swung the door behind her and I sank back down once again. I didn’t know if this had been a waste of time or not.

Laura’s P.O.V

“Well maybe it’s time you did…”

Stefan’s condemning words rang in my ears as I tripped back to David’s flat in a numb stupor. I’d been so caught up in my in haze of rage, jealousy and self-pity that I hadn’t been able to bring myself to look at the pictures I’d been told about. Which is the sort of thing David would know I would do. I could barely get the door open fast enough with my sticky spare-keys. As soon as I stepped inside I heard the shower going and I knew exactly what to do. As usual, David had left his phone on the kitchen table; normally I wouldn’t dream of looking through someone’s phone, but this time it was necessary. My hear beat heavily, I felt I could almost feel it in my throat and my sweaty fingers fumbled through photos, albums, screen-shots, folders, web-history, anything, looking for an iota of this so-called proof.

And I found nothing. Absolutely nothing. I’d even checked in the trash and any evidence of deleted history but there was none. There was nothing to see. There never had been.

“Laura, what are you doing?”

David stood in the doorway, dressed in jeans and t-shirt and rubbing his wet hair with a towel. One look at my face was enough to tell him what and the smile disappeared from his face.

“There is no proof, is there?” I said quietly. When he didn’t answer I continued, “You told me there were pictures, texts, emails you had that proved Tom had slept with this girl. There aren’t any, and you haven’t deleted them because that’s not the sort of thing you’d do. So I’ll ask you one more time; there is no ‘proof’ is there?”

He gulped slowly before saying blankly, “No.”

A wild, mirthless laugh escaped my lips. David still did not move from his spot so I simply pushed past him to get to the spare room, avoiding his frantic grasps and pleads of, “No, sweetheart, I can explain…”

These whining fell on deaf ears as I continued to push my things hastily into my suitcase. I was having serious flashbacks of when I’d done this before. I lugged myself and my small collection of belongings to the door, David still dogging my heels, and then I rounded on him.

“Ok, just tell me this then,” I exploded. “Why?”

“Because I love you!”

“No, you really don’t.”

“Well I care about you enough that I couldn’t bear to see you wasted on that talentless arse-wipe twat…” but David never got to finish his sentence because that was when my fist collided with his nose.

“Don’t ever speak like that about Tom again, ok?” I snarled. “And don’t you dare say you love me because if you were you wouldn’t let me do something as cruel as what I did. Only a completely heartless fuck-wit like you would behave so atrociously towards someone as good as him, who has done you no harm.” I took one last good look at his astonished, bleeding, smashed face. “Goodbye, David,” I said firmly and I finally shut that door behind me for good.

Out on the streets, surrounded by my luggage, hyped on fury and adrenaline as well as horror as what I had truly done to Tom hit me, I started to experience another over-whelming state of deja-vu as I once again found myself stuck with no one to run to. Then I remembered; Stefan hadn’t been the only one persistently trying to get me to sort things out with Tom. I flicked through my contacts, took a deep breath and hit dial. Please pick up, please pick up. My hopes were for the moment pinned on the reliable Benedict Cumberbatch.

I sat on Ben’s sofa, sniffling into the cripplingly strong cup of tea he’d made me as soon as we’d got back to his house, straight after firmly sitting me down and shoving a box of tissues under my nose. Benedict came back into the room with his own tea and set it down before sitting beside me. He didn’t say anything, just looked at me understandingly and kindly, prompting me to burst immediately into very loud, messy tears. “I’ve…been…such…an…idiot!” I choked snottily, tears dripping into my tea. “I can’t believe…I can’t believe I did that…to him!”. I now managed to put down the trembling mug in my hand and blew my nose noisily. “He must hate me.”

Benedict finally spoke up then. “He doesn’t hate you,” he said, firmly but gently. I laughed disbelievingly but he pressed on. “He doesn’t, Laura. He still very much loves you.”

“How can he?” I countered. “How? After everything I did.”

Ben sighed and gently took my hand. “I won’t lie to you,” he said, not unkindly, “he’s hurt. Very much so. But then, so are both of you. And he knows that too. He loves you, Laura, and Tom is man with a lot of deep feeling and integrity. He’s not about to throw that away lightly.”

“He’ll never want to see me again, I know it,” I said helplessly, shaking my head. “Why would he? I wouldn’t want to see me. I know him well enough to know that I’ve harmed him beyond the point of forgiveness. He’ll never want to see me again.”

Ben shook his head, now smiling lightly. “You’re wrong.”

I looked at him cuttingly. “What on earth would make you think that?”

He looked up at me, and I saw the glimmer of a secret about his face. “Because he told me,” Benedict said.

My mouth fell open. “You spoke to him? When?”

Down the hall, I heard the doorbell ring once, short and abrupt. Benedict unfolded himself from the chair he’d been sat in and stood up, making his way to the door.

“About ten minutes ago, while I made your tea,” he said, as he walked out of the living room to go and open the door.

If I was speechless then, it was nothing to how I felt a moment later, when Benedict re-entered the room, followed by the only person I really wanted to see, and also couldn’t bear to face.

Tom’s P.O.V

She looked an absolute mess, and yet due to the agonising time apart she’d never looked so beautiful to me. As I entered the room, she shot to her feet, clattering the mug of tea she’d been holding down onto the coffee table in front of her, to stand there shaking. Although she looked soft and gentle, dressed in dark jeans and plain grey jumper, and her curly red hair was brushed but bounced round her face, in contrast her skin was pale and drawn, with dark circles under her eyes which were red from crying. I’d never wanted to hold her so much but I forced myself not to rush to her, not knowing how she’d react. Laura just stood there for a moment, with a look of shock and something else on her face. There remained a deafening silence for a moment longer, before Benedict coughed lightly and said “I’ll leave you two to talk alone, I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me,” shooting me a small smile and shutting the door quietly behind him. Laura and I stood and stared at each other a little longer. Eventually, I spoke.

“Laura, I’m so sorry…”

But that was as far as I got before she interrupted, shaking her head and scrunching up her eyes to stop herself crying.

“No, Tom, please don’t. Please, I’m sorry. I can’t… I can’t forgive myself for what I did to you, it was so awful, so please don’t try and be nice to me, I don’t deserve it.”

“Oh, so you think I was blameless in all of this?” I said abruptly, the anger I felt directed largely at myself. “Laura, what I was… there are no words. The girl in the photo, the one that kissed me… there’s no explanation or excuse other than I was drunk and reacted too late to get her away from me before a photo was taken. It meant nothing and I didn’t ever consciously try to encourage her, I should have told you straight away, but I was worried and stressed with David having contacted you, and more than that I was deeply ashamed. But nothing compared to the shame I feel right now.”

Laura stood quaking silently for a few more seconds before speaking herself. “I know it didn’t mean anything. I know that you’re truthful and sincere in everything you’ve just said.” Her bottom lip trembled a little. “I love you so much, but I let fear and past hurt make me act in ways that I don’t recognise, and that you didn’t deserve. I don’t know how you can ever forgive me.”

I could see that she was about to start crying again and I knew that if she did, so would I. Without thinking I crossed the room in two strides, took her in my arms and held her tightly against my body, burying my face in her hair. It took a second for me to realise that her arms had also gone around me and gripped my back tightly and desperately. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she sobbed quietly into my neck. I leant back and held her face in my hands.

“I love you,” I said simply. “And I will always be honest with you, and trust you, if you will allow me to.”

 I looked up at him over my glasses, “We’ve been discovered.”

 He ran a towel through his wet hair, “Well we’ve kept it quiet for 8 months, it was going to happen sooner or later.”

 He laid down next to me and peered at the laptop resting on my knees. He looked at the pictures of us taken from a few days ago. Tom and I were sat outside our favourite lunch place on a sunny weekday, with my dog under the table. There were pictures of us talking, one of tom with his arm on the back of my chair. We both were laughing at a photo book that had come that morning.

 “Well we weren’t overly clingy, just like we talked about with Luke, people won’t care. Carry on reading love.”

 He stood, dropping the towel and began rummaging through the draws for his boxers. I dragged my eyes from his pert backside that many of his fans had seen in the Night Manager.

“The 36 year old star was spotted with his arm around the back of her chair, both of them laughing at a book on the table. The golden under the table sat with his head in Hiddleston’s lap. Both of them were seen discussing something from the book.

 “They make us sound like we’re boring old farts.”

 Tom smirked, “Keep reading.”

 The presumed couple walked around Hampstead heath holding hands. Tom held onto the lead of the woman’s Dog, they retired to a bench where things got a little steamy.

 I slammed shut the laptop and placed it into the bedside cupboard. “Steamy! I’ll give them fucking steamy! There were children present! I bloody hate the media!”

Clad only in his boxers Tom fell into bed next to me, “Look we knew this would happen at some point, I’m surprised we got away with it for so long.”

I sighed and took of my glasses rubbing my eyes, “I just think I was living in a dream world.”

He pulled me too him so I was resting on his chest. He was still warm from the shower. “This article is nothing. The photos are shockingly bad, no-one at work will recognize that it’s you. They won’t even recognise Ragnar, he didn’t have his harness on. Even though he’s dashingly handsome, from those pictures he looks like any other golden retriever.

I leaned up to kiss him. “Thank you.”

Tom rolled us over so he was on top, “You are very welcome.”

Tom started to kiss down my neck and chest, when his phone rang. With Luke’s ring tone. I knew that he had seen the article. I slid out from under Tom.

 “Sorry lover boy, but that’s not a call I want to listen too.”

 Tom flumped on the bed and groaned.

~~~~~

By the time Tom had finished on the phone I had started dinner. He was now fully dressed in lounging trousers and a marvel t-shirt. His hair had air dried and now rivaled a labradoodle, as much as he hated it, I loved his curly hair. I slid his mug down the workbench. He took a sip.

“Was it that bad?”

Tom leaned against the side, Ragnar moved to sit at his feet. “Not really, we’ve managed to keep it under wraps for ages. Luke was just happy that we got all your privacy settings sorted last month. He knows that the press will keep digging to find out who you are.”

“I’m not worried too much sweetie, things happen for a reason. We’ll see how the next couple of weeks go, You never know I might say yes to Ragnarok.”

“I spoke to Luke about that. I just wished there was something a bit smaller for you first carpet event.”

I turned to look at him, leaning against the side. The low evening light shone through the kitchen window, igniting his blonde hair into a halo. His favourite mug clutched in his hands, staring into the tea like it would give him answers. I wiped my hands on my apron and stood next to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and his arm snaked around my waist.

“Sweetie I’m not worried, we have a long while to plan. Like Luke said we can always do a press release before the premiere. Which I think would be better. As soon as people google my name, they’ll find out who I am and about all my illnesses. How about you ring Luke back and ask him to pop round some time tomorrow.”

Tom nodded and kissed the top of my head, “Okay Darling. What have we got for dinner?“

I detangled myself from him and check on the pasta. “Bolognese. I found some in the freezer. He hummed in agreement, "I’ll go ring Luke then set the table.” Even though we still had our own places we spent most of the time at my place with the occasional nights at toms. It was easier to stay at mine then lug all my medical equipment to his. Being friends and lovers over the past 8 years put us at ease in each other’s company. I divided the pasta and Tom’s famous bolognese onto our two plates while Tom sliced the garlic bread. We took our seats at at the table and began to eat.

I took a sip of wine, “Was Luke okay with tomorrow?”

Tom nodded and reached for a slice of garlic bread. “He said he be round at 11. He’ll bring around some paperwork and stuff. Are you sure you want to do this?”

I sat back in my chair, “I’m sure Tom. It’s about time we took things seriously, I’m ready to start doing more events with you.

Tom smiled and patted my hand on the table.

“The only thing is Tom…”

He hummed round his mouthful of bread.

“I won’t be going to Wimbledon with you.”

Tom swallowed, tipped his head back and laughed, “I wouldn’t expect you too my dear.”

Tom and I snuggled on the sofa after dinner, Ragnor at out feet. We talked about what was going to happen tomorrow, all the different way we could announce relationship. Googling how other celebrities had released their relationships. Instagram looked like a strong possibility.

We laughed how no one had spotted us at Kong: Skull Island premiere in London, simply because it started raining and under Tom’s request Luke escorted me straight into the building under a large black umbrella. So no one really got a chance to take even one photograph me. Even at the LA premiere I walked down the carpet with relative easy. Tom arrived on his own and I caught Brie’s car as I had to quick fix her dress and lend her a pair of my louboutins. Brie always has a habit of stealing my shoes, handbags and clothes. Although I was three inches taller, definitely heavier and with slightly bigger boobs, we roughly wore the same size in most things. But I couldn’t talk I borrowed brie’s designer clothes to see how the fit and fabric feel for my fashion line. The joys of being of being clothes buddy’s.

~~~~~

Tom walked around the next morning like a bloody peacock, so proud of himself for giving me heart palpitations. It didn’t happen very often and the first time that it happened in bed, Tom nearly turned grey with worry and panic. Now it just brings him great joy and satisfaction. At 11 o’clock precisely the doorbell rang and Tom buzzed Luke up, leaving the door on its latch.

Tom popped round the kitchen door. “Is there anything that needs taking out?”

I nodded to the tray with cake and china on. “Just that please, I’m just waiting for the kettle to boil.”

I heard the lift doors open and Luke’s voice calling for Tom. Tom picked up the tray and took it into the dining room, I assume collecting Luke on the way. I was nervous about today, part of me still didn’t feel ready. Another was anxious about what people would say.

I poured the hot water in the large tea pot with earl grey for Tom and Luke. I poured water into the french press for my decaf coffee. I loved coffee so much, the smell and taste. That would be because of the Italian blood in me. But because of my heart condition I couldn’t drink much of the stuff and sometimes I couldn’t have it at all. Tom lovingly brought me coffee scented candles, so when I can’t have any I can still enjoy the smell.

I carried the tea pot and french press into the dining room, Tom stood took take the heavier teapot off me. Odin, my giant one eyed fluff monster, came and sat on the chair beside me. He’s partial to some cake, or any food at all. Tom had found his name hilarious when they first met, he spent the day calling him father and bowing I’m his presence. I still sometimes catch him doing it now.

Tom poured tea for him and Luke and coffee for me.

“So business first then cake?” Luke asked.

I nodded, “We talked about it last night and we think we should release something.”

“Just something small,” Tom added

“I just don’t want my presence at Thor Ragnarok premiere to over shadow the movie. I want people talking about how much they like the movie not who Tom’s dating.”

 Luke nodded and flipped through his diary and organiser. “So we have four months to Thor. So that’s enough time to release something and have it settle down again. So what were you both thinking.”

Tom took hold of my hand on the table. “We thought Instagram was good choice, not too formal. Just something to link us together.”

Luke looked at me, “anything else.”

I bit my lip. Tom knowing how I felt gave my hand a squeeze.

“I want to be out of the city when it’s released. I can’t be dealing with paparazzi and stalkers while I’m ill.”

Luke looked back at his diary. “Well Tom’s free for the next two weeks, I can’t see why not. It might do the both of you some good. A little R&R before you have to go on press tour and your new line comes out.”

I frowned and looked at Tom, “did you tell him?”

Tom looked guilty, “I did but there’s a reason. Anything big on your calendar Luke knows about so he knows what’s happen even if I’m away. That way if there’s ever a problem Luke has all the information to handle it.”

I rested my head on his shoulder, “Thank you.”

Luke wrote something on his note pad. “Just tell me when you’re leaving and I’ll leave the Instagram stuff up to you two, just give me the heads up before you post.”

Tom and nodded. I picked up the cake knife and cut us all a piece. Tom and Luke dug in.

Luke sat back in his chair, “Oh Eva it’s as good as always. So how did your hospital appointment go?”

June 2017 - London

Bad news ladies the Night Manager Actor Tom Hiddleston was spotting kissing a redhead during Lunch in London. The actor and his companion sat outside the hip 60s cafe, the ‘coffee cup’ with a golden retriever at their feet.

“Fuck. Shit, Wank. Balls!”

Tom leaned around the doorframe to the bathroom; towel round his waist and water from the shower rolled down his chest. “What?”

I looked up at him over my glasses, “We’ve been discovered.”

He ran a towel through his wet hair, “Well we’ve kept it quiet for 8 months, it was going to happen sooner or later.”

He layed down next to me and peered at the laptop resting on my knees. He looked at the pictures of us taken from a few days ago. Tom and I were sat outside our favourite lunch place on a sunny weekday, with my dog under the table. There were pictures of us talking, one of tom with his arm on the back of my chair. We both were laughing at a photo book that had come that morning.

“Well we weren’t overly clingy, just like we talked about with Luke, people won’t care. Carry on reading love.”

He stood, dropping the towel and began rummaging through the draws for his boxers. I dragged my eyes from his pert backside that many of his fans had seen in the Night Manager.

“The 36 year old star was spotted with his arm around the back of her chair, both of them laughing at a book on the table. The golden under the table sat with his head in Hiddleston’s lap. Both of them were seen discussing something from the book.

“They make us sound like we’re boring old farts.”

Tom smirked, “Keep reading.”

The presumed couple walked around Hampstead heath holding hands. Tom held onto the lead of the woman’s Dog, they retired to a bench where things got a little steamy.

I slammed shut the laptop and placed it into the bedside cupboard. “Steamy! I’ll give them fucking steamy! There were children present! I bloody hate the media!”

Clad only in his boxers Tom fell into bed next to me, “Look we knew this would happen at some point, I’m surprised we got away with it for so long.”

I sighed and took of my glasses rubbing my eyes, “I just think I was living in a dream world.”

He pulled me too him so I was resting on his chest. He was still warm from the shower. “This article is nothing. The photos are shockingly bad, no-one at work will recognize that it’s you. They won’t even recognise Ragnar, he didn’t have his harness on. Even though he’s dashingly handsome, from those pictures he looks like any other golden retriever.

I leaned up to kiss him. “Thank you.”

Tom rolled us over so he was on top, “You are very welcome.”

Tom started to kiss down my neck and chest, when his phone rang. With Luke’s ring tone. I knew that he had seen the article. I slid out from under Tom.

“Sorry lover boy, but that’s not a call I want to listen too.”

Tom flumped on the bed and groaned.

~~~~~

By the time Tom had finished on the phone I had started dinner. He was now fully dressed in lounging trousers and a marvel t-shirt. His hair had air dried and now rivaled a labradoodle, as much as he hated it, I loved his curly hair. I slid his mug down the workbench. He took a sip.

“Was it that bad?”

Tom leaned against the side, Ragnar moved to sit at his feet. “Not really, we’ve managed to keep it under wraps for ages. Luke was just happy that we got all your privacy settings sorted last month. He knows that the press will keep digging to find out who you are.”

“I’m not worried too much sweetie, things happen for a reason. We’ll see how the next couple of weeks go, You never know I might say yes to Ragnarok.”

“I spoke to Luke about that. I just wished there was something a bit smaller for you first carpet event.”

I turned to look at him, leaning against the side. The low evening light shone through the kitchen window, igniting his blonde hair into a halo. His favourite mug clutched in his hands, staring into the tea like it would give him answers. I wiped my hands on my apron and stood next to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and his arm snaked around my waist.

“Sweetie I’m not worried, we have a long while to plan. Like Luke said we can always do a press release before the premiere. Which I think would be better. As soon as people google my name, they’ll find out who I am and about all my illnesses. How about you ring luke back and ask him to pop round some time tomorrow.”

Tom nodded and kissed the top of my head, “Okay Darling. What have we got for dinner?“

I detangle myself from him and check on the pasta. "Bolognese. I found some in the freezer. He hummed in agreement, "I’ll go ring Luke then set the table.” Even though we still had our own places we spent most of the time at my place with the occasional nights at toms. It was easier to stay at mine then lug all my medical equipment to his. Being friends and lovers over the past 8 years put us at ease in each other’s company. I divided the pasta and Tom’s famous bolognese onto our two plates while Tom sliced the garlic bread. We took our seats at at the table and began to eat.

I took a sip of wine, “Was Luke okay with tomorrow?”

Tom nodded and reached for a slice of garlic bread. “He said he be round at 11. He’ll bring around some paperwork and stuff. Are you sure you want to do this?”

I sat back in my chair, “I’m sure Tom. It’s about time we took things seriously, I’m ready to start doing more events with you.

Tom smiled and patted my hand on the table.

“The only thing is Tom…”

He hummed round his mouthful of bread.

“I won’t be going to wimbledon with you.”

Tom swallowed, tipped his head back and laughed, “I wouldn’t expect you too my dear.”

Tom and I snuggled on the sofa after dinner, Ragnor at out feet. We talked about what was going to happen tomorrow, all the different way we could announce relationship. Googling how other celebrities had released their relationships. Instagram looked like a strong possibility.

We laughed how no one had spotted us at Kong: Skull Island premiere in london, simply because it started raining and under Tom’s request Luke escorted me straight into the building under a large black umbrella. So no one really got a chance to take even one photograph me. Even at the LA premiere I walked down the carpet with relative easy. Tom arrived on his own and I caught Brie’s car as I had to quick fix her dress and lend her a pair of my louboutins. Brie always has a habit of stealing my shoes, handbags and clothes. Although I was three inches taller, definitely heavier and with slightly bigger boobs, we roughly wore the same size in most things. But I couldn’t talk I borrowed brie’s designer clothes to see how the fit and fabric feel for my fashion line. The joys of being of being clothes buddy’s.

~~~~~

Tom walked around the next morning like a bloody peacock, so proud of himself for giving me heart palpitations. It didn’t happen very often and the first time that it happened in bed, Tom nearly turned grey with worry and panic. Now it just brings him great joy and satisfaction. At 11 o’clock precisely the doorbell rang and Tom buzzed Luke up, leaving the door on its latch.

Tom popped round the kitchen door. “Is there anything that needs taking out?”

I nodded to the tray with cake and china on. “Just that please, I’m just waiting for the kettle to boil.”

I heard the lift doors open and Luke’s voice calling for Tom. Tom picked up the tray and took it into the dining room, I assume collecting Luke on the way. I was nervous about today, part of me still didn’t feel ready. Another was anxious about what people would say.

I poured the hot water in the large tea pot with earl grey for Tom and Luke. I poured water into the french press for my decaf coffee. I loved coffee so much, the smell and taste. That would be because of the italian blood in me. But because of my heart condition I couldn’t drink much of the stuff and sometimes I couldn’t have it at all. Tom lovingly brought me coffee scented candles, so when I can’t have any I can still enjoy the smell.

I carried the tea pot and french press into the dining room, Tom stood took take the heavier teapot off me. Odin, my giant one eyed fluff monster, came and sat on the chair beside me. He’s partial to some cake, or any food at all. Tom had found his name hilarious when they first met, he spent the day calling him father and bowing I’m his presence. I still sometimes catch him doing it now.

Tom poured tea for him and Luke and coffee for me.

“So business first then cake?” Luke asked.

I nodded, “We talked about it last night and we think we should release something.”

“Just something small,” Tom added

“I just don’t want my presence at Thor 3 premiere to over shadow the movie. I want people talking about how much they like the movie not who Tom’s dating.”

Luke nodded and flipped through his diary and organiser. “So we have ## months to Thor. So that’s enough time to release something and have it settle down again. So what were you both thinking.”

Tom took hold of my hand on the table. “We thought instagram was good choice, not too formal. Just something to link us together.”

Luke looked at me, “anything else.”

I bit my lip. Tom knowing how I felt gave my hand a squeeze.

“I want to be out of the city when it’s released. I can’t be dealing with paparazzi and stalkers while I’m ill.”

Luke looked back at his diary. “Well Tom’s free for the next two weeks, I can’t see why not. It might do the both of you some good. A little R&R before you have to go on press tour and your new line comes out.”

I frowned and looked at Tom, “did you tell him?”

Tom looked guilty, “I did but there’s a reason. Anything big on your calendar Luke knows about so he knows what’s happen even if I’m away. That way if there’s ever a problem Luke has all the information to handle it.”

I rested my head on his shoulder, “Thank you.”

Luke wrote something on his note pad. “Just tell me when you’re leaving and I’ll leave the instagram stuff up to you two, just give me the heads up before you post.”

Tom and nodded. I picked up the cake knife and cut us all a piece. Tom and Luke dug in.