#acosf rant

I hate that SJM bothered to include the grandmother in her story, telling us that not only does Nesta’s issue with failing come from how she was raised to be the embodiment of perfection, but also that when she did wrong things she was expected to excel at, she got physically punished by her governess aka grandmother. From a very young age, Nesta was taught that every mistake, no matter how little or how big, was failure, and the consequences for that were pain. That makes Nesta’s coping mechanisms so much more comprehensible, because all of them are literally physical punishments she puts herself through, consciously or not.

She abused alcohol, spent her time in the closest thing to a dangerous place she could find in Velaris, neglected her hygiene (not just because of her trauma with the Cauldron, but in general terms by wearing dirty clothes) and slep with so many males everyone should have seen the red flag. And there is nothing wrong with having one-night stands, but we are talking about a character that specifically avoided that kind of contact with men/male in the past and put safety above all but changed 180º in less than a month after the war. Everything she does as a consequence of trauma and feeling of failure is physical, damaging and self-inflicted.

And so the book ends, and nobody got to the bottom of why she did any of that, not even Nesta herself seemed to connect the dots between being punished when failing as a kid and punishing her body herself when failing now and thinking it’s what she deserves. Nesta still feels like that about most of the things that happened in her life. The only difference is that now her trauma is not visible. I could buy the “oh, but it’s only the beginnign for her” discourse, but honestly? There were over 700 pages of “healing journey” and the source of literally all her problems wasn’t even addressed. And if we didn’t get Nesta healing (not owning up her mistakes, but actually recovering from any of them) on page in the one book that is about her, then I hardly doubt we are gonna get to see it happening in someone else’s story.

Or maybe a maxi rant, depending on how fired up I’ll get writing this.

Anyway, across all platforms I see the same posts/assertions which boils down to this ‘Az feels comfortable with Gwyn!’ (Hence, naturally =endgame)

Endgames aside, I ask —WHERE????????

Where does it state that he feels comfortable with her? Where does it say that he ‘moves’ towards her? (Twice with Elain, FYI) Where does he seek her out? Where does he joke with her? Where. Does. He. Ever. Initiate. A. Conversation. With. Her?

Not one instance.

He is never alone with her, except for the POV. He doesn’t train her directly. Yes, there was a mention of dagger training, which may have been 1:1, though we don’t know. She was the one who asked for it.

Here are some interactions:

None scream ‘he is so comfortable with Gwyn!’

Neither are any of them indicative of any sexual or romantic interest, from both parties, but that’s another conversation.

POV—‘it was too late to bank’. Or he ‘realized that it wasn’t a socially acceptable answer’. Or ‘he didn’t feel like demonstrating’ or ‘he wouldn’t call Gwyn a friend’.

I’ve read the book 8 times (I am a speedy reader, this isn’t weird), but nothing in their very minimal interactions indicate that Azriel has any particular affinity towards Gwyn, versus any other priestesses. Interestingly, it’s two other priestesses who are mooning over him. No mention of Gwyn or interest on her part towards him either.

Can Elain have children? 

This stupid question has been asked over and over and over again.

YES A resounding yes. 

She can have all the children she wants. She can have Illyrian children. She can have Fae children. She can have human children. Or no children at all.

Because as all women, as all men, as all gay or transgender people who want children, she can have them.  Because what matters is not how you have them, but that you are a good and loving parent. 

Are only biological children worthy of attention? Are children conceived via IVF still worthy? Adopted? Fostered? Raised communally?

If you got knocked up in a drunken haze in the back of a pickup truck are your children ‘better” than those of people who spent their life-earnings to adopt a child and give them a loving home?

Who was Azriel’s real parent? Who gave him a home? Education? Love? Comfort? Rhys’s mother. Not his biological parents. His biological father locked him in darkness for 11 years. His biological brothers burned his hands. His biological mother, for a number of reasons, allowed all of this to happen. 

You know who else was adopted? Cassian

You know whose biological parents were horrible to their children? Rhys’s father, Tamlin’s father, Eris’s father, Mor’s father. They abused and tortured their children in many creative and awful ways. 

At this day and age, why are we still putting so much emphasis on female anatomy and her ability to provide HER MAN with children? (Because that’s what it’s about, isn’t it?) If a woman has no children, or loves adopted children, is she less of a woman? Less of a mother?

Yes, it’s a fictional character, but it honestly horrifies me that this conversation exists in this fandom. All because some moron decided to equate the words ‘pliant bones’ with the worth of womanhood. The worth of femininity and motherhood of the character that they clearly despised, and ironically, the character they love. The fact that it’s women who speak of other women in these terms is even more upsetting. (Also, I really fucking hope that those who advocated this idiotic theory never have to experience infertility themselves.)

Lies to her patient and doesn’t tell her that she and her baby will most likely die in childbirth

Follows another person’s request to keep her patient’s condition a secret, apparently not having any moral qualms about it

Her patient is also her High Lady - potential death of High Lady and heir to the throne would cause enormous political ramifications. No nevermind to Madja. She’ll keep quiet.

Doesn’t think to prepare for the delivery--she had 10 months!--didn’t think to figure anything out, engage with other healers, bring them over to help out during labor

Doesn’t really know how to perform a C-section

Lets her patient bleed out before even attempting to do a C-section

Why is she not wearing gloves???

‘Take her pain away’? WTF? Why haven’t YOU taken her pain away this whole time?

Why are there like 27 people in the birthing room? Why is Feyre not in some infirmary/hospital type setting, considering that the birth will be difficult?

She gives shit advice like ‘hey, don’t shape shift. It MAY harm the baby.’ Really? How about killing mom and baby, is that okay? Like, she tells Feyre not to color her hair, but fails to mention that a winged baby will probably shred her from the inside

Never comes to Rhys and says, honestly--hey, High Lord, I really don’t know how to deal with this issue. I am not qualified. I’ve never delivered a winged baby. Let’s bring all the help we can.

Bonus:

When trying to diagnose Elain, her solution was basically ‘alright, let’s ask that guy. Maybe he can figure it out.” He can’t. ‘Fine, then let’s ask that other random guy.’ He did figure it out. 

Period pains--her solution is just to knock Feyre out and render her unconscious. What?

I wouldn’t trust Madja to give me an aspirin, let alone deliver my baby.