Wedding proposals in the Achterhoek
In most places in the Achterhoek people are still familiar with the spring- and autumn fairs. A local folk celebration to which a market is also usually attached. It was originally instated by the church to get the youngins together a few times a year, by which meetings and weddings could follow.
Some fifty years ago it could occur, that somebody, some weeks before the fair, asked you: 'En hef meneer de schadd'n al dreuge?' (Does mr. have the 'schadden'* dry yet?) When you don't understand the language, one might think it is related to being 'droog achter de oren' ([Dutch,] 'dry behind the ears', to be of age). The meaning is, in fact, completely different.
Asking a girl to go to the fair was apparently a difficult feat. A sort of shyness or fear of 'een blauwtje lopen' ('to walk a little blue one', to be rejected) probably played a large role therein.
This is apparent in the fact that back then the young men from Winterswijk couldn't [be rejected]. When leaving the church the young ones would hesitate, and it could happen that one of the vriends of the admirer would approach the girl in question to ask: 'Zol ie wal met mienen kammeroad willen gaon?' (Would you want to go with my friend?)
In Eibergen the technique was more complicated, especially rurally on the farm; there the young man would go into the fen to cut a schadde. With that he would approach the house of his beloved and deposit the thing at a certain distance from the door, to then hide himself. If the girl came out and took the schadde inside, it was good and he could go to the fair with her. If she, instead, let the schadde lie and threw a bucket of water over it, then he knew he was not accepted. In the former case he would thus not have the 'schadd'n dreuge'. In the evening after the fair kandijkoek [a kind of cake] would be brought for the parents of the girl. But…. did this young man truly satisfy, was he the 'true Jacob' and not just some pretty guy?
He would know soon. Before saying goodbye pancakes with bacon would be baked. When the pieces of bacon had a score that caused them to drift apart during baking, he knew he wouldn't need to come back. If however the pieces of bacon were fair, he was expected next sunday. In other regions people would also put seven pieces of bacon in the pancakes as a means of rejection. It was thus a language without words. The truly old fashioned Achterhoeker has also no need of a psychiatrist, for his principle is: 'Miene gedachten bunt miene kammerö'. (My thoughts are my friends.)
A good friend is as a psychiatrist, you can talk about everything with them.
In Borculo one would ask, for an upcoming wedding: 'Moet je over de brug komen?' [Dutch, 'must you come over the bridge?'] This, because the entrance to the town hall is via a bridge over the Berkel. In Zutphen the typical question for an upcoming wedding was: 'Ga je ook de blauwe stoep op?' [Dutch, 'are you also going on the blue stoop?'] This because the stoop in front of the city hall is a kind of bluish stone.
*Schadden (AKA plaggen in Dutch) were essentially sods of heather, they would sometimes be used as fuel like turf.
From: Deugden en ondeugden oet den Achterhook, 1978, compiled by Joop Brens. My translation and notes (square brackets and asterisks).