Together in warm light.
Catergory: M/M
Fandom: ダイヤのA | Daiya no A | Ace of Diamond
Relationship: Miyuki Kazuya x Sawamura Eijun , Kuramochi Youichi x Kominato Haruichi
Genre: Heavy angst, Tragic Love Story, Reincarnation (Switching pov's)
Language: English
Chapters: 4 (Completed)
Author's Note:
Hi! This is my first fanfic so I don't know if you all gonna like it since my english writing skills still not polished. But I'm working my best to satisfy your reading preference so please bear with me!
I write this fanfic with Kazuya and Eijun in my mind while listening to this songs:
About you - The 1975
Merry Christmas, I miss you - Alex Crichton
Hoodie - Hey Violet
The One That Got Away - Katy Perry
Autumn - NIKI
This is not a songfic! Enjoy Reading!
Chapter 1
September 27, 2022
"Why do you want to end us?"
I took a sip in my coffee before putting it down to the table before turning my gaze to him. He's staring right through me, trying to find answers in my eyes, jaw clenching and his fists were shut.
He's barely holding himself back.
I sighed. "You wouldn't understand—"
"Then let me understand it!" He snapped.
I didn't answer him. I just stared his hazel brown eyes looking straight at me, frustrated and waiting for my answer.
"Is this because of what coach and scouts said?" He asked. I can see the desperation in his eyes, trying to save our wrecked relationship.
"I turned down their offer—"
"Yes.." I cut him off. "..I'm ending this because you have a bright future ahead of you, turning down the MLB is waste of opportunity for you." I added.
"I see my future with you beside me, Eijun."
"I don't see myself to be with you in my future." I said, without breaking the contact. Shock evident in his eyes. Something throbbed in my chest, but I ignored it.
Endure it.
It’s for the best..
Silence lingered in the living room, coffee that became cold because of thick ice wall between us. There's no warmth anymore in this four walled room.
Our eyes looking straight like conveying unspoken feelings with each other. My chest kept throbbing because of unwanted words I said to him.
It was Kazuya who broke the eye contact first, wiping his eyes before nodding. Is he crying?
"Okay, if that's what you want..." He finally said before standing up and goes to our room. His eyes were slight red and wet because of tears he refuse to let fall freely.
Oh God...
Did I messed up?
I held my chest throbbing like crazy. No, I cannot cry, not in front of him. You can do it. Do not let your stupid heart win.
It's all for Kazuya's future.
-----------------------------
October 4, 2023
"And then? Did he moved out in your apartment?"
I didn't answer Youichi's question. We're in university cafeteria where we play baseball. I continued doddling in my sketch pad without looking at him with his boyfriend Haruichi.
"Hey! Don't ignore my question, idiot!" He snarled, attempting to smack my head with his hands but Haruichi held him back. "Youi! That's enough!"
I put down my pen and grab the strawberry latte I ordered earlier and took a sip before answering the shortstop.
"He moved out.." I started. "He got all of his things in our house, or should I say my house?" I let out a chuckle. The couple just intently listening to what I say.
I breath in before continuing. "From clothes, necessities, and his shoes, all of it. But there's two things he forgot to get in my house... I don't know if he really forgot it to put it in his belongings..."
"What is it?" Youichi and Haruichi can't help but to ask out of curiosity.
"His baseball uniform, the one when were in Seido and his red hoodie jacket. As far as I remember it his favorite hoodie out of hoodie jackets he have."
The couple let out a gasp. I laugh because of their reaction, but they gave me a pity look. Oh, I know this one.
"I'm okay.." I assured them.
"Physically? Yes. Emotionally and mentally? No." Haruichi spoke. "We know your bad habits, Eijun. Even it's been a year since you guys broke up. You can fool Kazuya but not us." He added.
I can feel wetness in my cheeks because of tears. I look at the couple, confused, unable to bare it anymore. Haruichi stood up and sits beside me and hugged me tightly. Youichi's the one who’s patting my back.
"You don't have to put a mask in front of us, Eijun. I know deep inside in your heart you're hurting and suffering..." the pink hair said softly.
"You love him selflessly, prioritizing his future before yourself. Now it's time for you to love your self without getting lost in the name of love." Youichi added.
My chest throbs and thumping crazily. Suddenly, I let my true self take over. I cried like there's no tomorrow, I don't care if the people looks at me because of my loud wailing. I just need to let out all of my emotions that I suppressed for a long time.
"I-I didn't mean to h-hurt him..." I cried.
"We know..."
"All I said t-to him that day w-was a lie..."
Haruichi hugged me even tighter, while Youichi still patting my back but his head is now rested in my shoulder which it's rare sight for him to do that.
"We all know, Eijun."
----------------------------
October 6, 2023
I got home earlier than I expected from baseball training, entering the apartment without the warm welcome of a certain person—cooking my favourite dish while running to me to hug me and kiss me tenderly.
The sapwood scent of his across the living room is no longer here. Our relationship came crashing down because of my fear ruining his future with me by his side.
"Fuck... Not again..." I cursed.
"Sawamura, please have a sit." The coach offered me the sit and I gladly take it with a smile on my face.
"What is it coach? This Sawamura Eijun is ready for anything you will ask me!"
The coach sighed which makes me worried. He stood up near to his working table to get something in his desk drawer. Curiosity drew out in my whole face.
"What is that coach?" I can't help but to ask. My hand's sweating because of nervousness I'm feeling right now.
This is bad...
Coach got back to the couch, he's handling a piece of paper for me to read. I reached it despite of my shaking hands and I read it carefully.
Oh...
Kazuya's MLB invitation...
"Why—why are you showing this to me, coach?" God knows how I tried not to stutter in front of him.
He sighed. "He got invitation from MLB last week, but he refuse to accept it..."
"What does it have to do—"
"He refuse to accept it because he can't leave you alone..." He cut me off. I swallowed hard.
Why?
"I know what kind of relationship you have with Miyuki, Sawamura. But don't you think it's a waste of opportunity if he turn this invitation down?" Coach said. "Afterall, we're talking about your future and his future. Maybe you have to try something new without being with each other side by side..." He added.
Silence.
I'm taking my time to process all the coach said to me. Try something new without him? How?
Does this mean we're gonna end our relationship?
Coach let out a sigh again, putting his hand in my right arm. "I'm not saying all of this to end what you have with Miyuki. You can continue your relationship with him without sticking with each other all the time." He adviced.
"Sometimes, two persons in a relationship needs individual growing without relying to one other." He smiled.
I grabbed his red hoodie and wore it before laying in bed. I took my phone in bedside table to check if there's message from my friends.
All of my social account were deactivated so I can't see his whereabouts in newsfeed or any other platforms. All I do to kill my boredom is reading books, drawing in my sketch pad, and solving a jigsaw puzzles. I put down my phone and stared in the ceiling.
"Am I getting better?" I asked myself.
A memory of him cuddling me here in the same bed flashed in my mind. I smack my head to let out those memory peeking in my mind and curled up in my bed, while hugging my favorite cat plushie. My chest throbbing again like an animal.
"Idiot, still not okay..." I mumbled.
A tear escaped in my eye. "I never meant to ruin us, Kazuya." I cried my heart out.
If God will give me a chance to fix everything, I will gladly accept it. Just for you to comeback to me.
Oh, my Kazuya...
End Notes:
I'm open for corrections or advice, it will help me much easier:)
Next chapter will be posted tomorrow!
