Having Ryland grace be largely headcannoned as aroace is so very dear to me. Having him be largely headcannoned as any type of queer is so very dear to me. I love my trans Grace I love my ace grace I love my aroace grace I love my gay grace I love my aroace spec gay grace with a dash of Simon I love qpr grace I love queer grace.
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Trans Ace hc where being trans actually weighs on Ace heavily not just because of the whole dysphoria thing but because as a man, he looks more like his dad. So no matter what he does—man or woman, he’s still haunted by his father’s legacy.
He ask himself why he has to be this way, why he can’t just “go back to being a girl” and holding on to the fact that he at least looked a little more like his mom back then. But he knows deep down that can’t do that. And it just reaffirms the idea that he is and will always be just an extension of his father. Because to him, it’ll start with the transition, then the personality, then the actions, until he has become just as worthy of death and undeserving of love as his dad—the man who impregnated his mother with the baby that would kill her on its way into the world, the man who despite being able to make it everywhere else just in time, couldn’t make it back to his own family. The man who left his own son so a marine that threw them in the woods all the time and left them to live with bandits.
And sure people would tell him that what he thinks about himself isn’t true. But they just don’t know like he does. Everyone he meets will never know where he comes from or what it is that makes him face all the mirrors away from him. But he does. He can’t even enjoy his top surgery to the fullest because he just looks like his father. A sweet, emotional moment ruined yet again by a man he’s never met.
And Ace would just live with that constant struggle to trying to figure out what the cost of being himself would be. And if he could bare to pay it either way.
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much like his little brother he will be around and on you 24/7. it's like he's glued to you. he hasn't let you sit on a wooden chair a single time ever since you got together, always pulling you straight on his lap. it's instinct. it's become such a big habit that if he were to stop, it would feel wrong and kind of empty. having his princess sitting on a hard surface rather than his soft thighs is simply wrong.
he goes above and beyond for you. he's a true gentleman.
you get treated better from most ppl on the crew bc you were whitebeards relative. it was something you greatly enjoyed. ever since ace realized he was in love with you though, he started treating you even more special. it was very obvious to your crewmates that ace had taken a liking to you but you didn't realize it because the two of you had gotten a lot closer, being each others best friends now, so you figured it was just due to that. when the two of you finally got over your silent yearning for each other and started dating though, the way ace treated you was far beyond princess treatment.
whenever you dock at a new island he always manages to secretly get (steal) something for you. wether it be jewelry, an interesting book, your favorite fruits or clothes- he will find something to gift to you.
he loves showing you off and he'll take any and every opportunity to do so. he's also very insecure deep down so showing you off is kinda his way to show everyone that you're his and that you chose him and want him. its reassuring to him.
maybe it was because he was so insecure, that he liked doing things for you and spoiling you and showing you off. because in his screwed up mind he has to compensate for being so worthless by doing anything and everything for you.
…
what he needs from you
words of affirmation & physical touch
you don't have to be a poet or profoundly good at using words and decorating your sentences with the fanciest declarations of love for him but he does need vocal reassurance. and a lot of it.
ever since he was a little boy there have been voices outside and inside of his head constantly telling him he's not good enough and that he doesn't deserve love, or to be alive even. he gains some confidence by becoming a pirate and he gains even more when you confessed to him and he realized that his feelings weren't one sided. but he still needs you to feel like he's worth something.
he would never stoop so low and tell you that you should baby him and tell him all these things but luckily you were smart enough to figure it out for yourself and start doing so without him having to go through the humiliating experience of laying his desires bare and voicing them.
he needs you to talk to him and hold him and tell him that you love him and that you won't leave him and that he's needed.
he wants nothing more than for once to be held in your strong safe arms and to feel your hands cupping (hiding) his face and for you to kiss it gently and softly while telling him everything he needs to hear.
he never asks anything of you. simply being with you is more than enough for him. you are everything to him. however he loves it when you're just as touchy and needy as him. it makes him feel validated.
he's insecure and damaged. which he doesn't let on at all and tries to conceal with his fun cocky personality. but still, you noticed it very early on. and you also know that he gets into depressive moods sometimes. it's only when he's alone and when it's night time but you still picked up on it. you heard him crying (sobbing) in a random corner on the deck one night and have had a soft spot for him ever since.
it didn't take long for you to connect the dots on why he feels the way he does. you started going through memories of him having possibly said something that could make you understand his emotional scars and you quickly came to the realization that it had to do with his father and the way people spoke about him.
you also heard him mutter negative self talk when he was in the bathroom. so you've been making sure to let him know how loved and grateful you are to have him ever since. you were subtle with it at first but now that you're together you tell him that you love him in different ways every day.
ace is incredibly touch starved so he needs to hug you a lot. he often drags you to his chambers with him and while everyone on the ship thinks you're having sex, he really just needed to be in your arms for a while. he would rather your crewmates think you're having sex though, instead of knowing the truth which was much more embarrassing. it makes him feel bare and he's disgusted with himself for even wanting or needing it.
because whatever it is the two of you were doing intimately when you were alone was very different from what ace does when he's showing off in front of the crew. when you're in front of the others he'll just have you sitting on his lap or drag an arm around your shoulder or waist and he'll kiss you and make out with you a lot to brag. but when you are alone he is pathetic and always hides himself in you and tries to get impossibly close to you, as if he's never felt love in his life before, as if it's his first time experiencing it. (it is)
he’s the little spoon. he needs to feel you around him, protecting him. not from actual danger, just from his own plaguing mind. because whenever he’s in your arms, he feels ok, good, better.
he wants to be close to you and touch you as much as possible. he can be incredibly intense and needy with it, holding onto you so tightly and rubbing and nuzzling against you so hard that it makes you worry and feel bad for him. because you know that deep inside, he is a lost scared child who just wants love and comfort.
Happy Ace Week!! Here's a fun little edit featuring everyones most unknown but loveable ace coded characters~ Sam Stanley, Jimmy Tompkins, and Hoops McCann!! (Aka. Kiefer, Bobby Darin, and John Cusack~ :3)
