#accommodating disability

This is something that my family has had a hard time understanding recently so I wanted to outline it in a way that makes sense to me and hopefully it helps people understand how to accommodate their disabled family members better or how to explain to family and friends what an accommodation is. This post does focus on autism based examples but the main idea can definitely be applied to other disabilities.

As a general rule an accommodation for an autistic family member or friend is something you are doing for them and includes an action on your end, not just allowing them to accommodate themselves.

Here are some examples:

Allowing an autistic family member to stay home from an event isn’t an accommodation

Agreeing to leave early so they feel comfortable attending is

Allowing an autistic person to use sensory aids isn’t an accommodation

Turning off the lights or turning the volume down so the space is accessible is

Waiting for an autistic person to ask you not to touch them isn’t an accommodation

Asking them before you touch them is

Letting an autistic person walk away from a overwhelming situation isn’t an accommodation

Choosing a sensory friendly meeting place ahead of time is

So, I'm a (nearly) fifteen year old autistic going into my sophomore year of high school and I was hoping for some advice in general, about clothes, and what to do with accommodations, etc. I'm not in special ed classes or advanced classes(well, I do honors, but those classes are pretty much the same as non-honors classes).

Examples:

Are weighted hoodies/vests worth it(I'm afab, but have a small chest and weighted blankets help me)? And, if so: what is the cheapest option that will last at least a year of near constant wearing?

Are there any pants(other than leggings and sweat pants) that don't have buttons or ties?

You know those winter coats that are that weird thick smooth feeling that makes you look a stuffed hay bag? I can't stand those, but I get really cold, so are there any winter coats that are insulating, but not made of that icky material?

Should I bring snacks? I get really overwhelmed and angry if I don't eat every couple hours and my school work suffers(most teachers at my school don't care if you eat in class), but I'm not sure if it's worth it.

But instead of the diagnosis I just get told that I get overstimulated easily and it’s just that why don’t like having people behind me and have to wear headphones almost at all times… anyways, I do get accommodations so I just did a four hour exam in a nice little work room with no one else in it and it was the greatest thing ever.

(My psychiatrist does think that I am, indeed autistic, so does my mother and me.)