#accepting criticism

First try ever with oil paint! :3

"Tragedy and Change" (boring asf ik im not good at titles ok 💔)

My dearest wife, I say with a heavy heart

Though I promised for us to never part

I'm afraid you wouldn't love me the same

If you knew all that I overcame

Through my travels, I grew somber

And I just couldn't help but wonder

Every night, lying down with tears

"Would you still be waiting after all these years?"

Though I was fortunate to survive every fight

My comrades fell, despite all their might

Dying proud with a smile on their face

While I had no one left to embrace

In an act of complete desperation

I ruthlessly killed without hesitation

Leaving behind a trail of blood wherever I went,

Yet in my heart, I was never content

I won't be surprised if forgiveness isn't in your hand

But for now, I beg you to understand

And if you must, ask the heavens above-

I swear it was all in the name of love

@juneofdoom

A quickly whipped-up hypothetical based off of Psycholonials by Andrew Hussie (so spoiler warning!) focusing on Zhen after the epilogues having her first dream in years, written for June of Doom Day 1! Around 1k words

Zhen didn’t know why the dreams had started again.

It'd been far too long, her memory of those faithful few months whittled away at like she had carved at her sanity during her rule.

Regardless, when she opens her eyes, there it floats, a constellation hanging above her with a weight she could barely comprehend. She lets herself curl inwards, turning to the side to see the massive being she had made her choice in front of all those years ago, regaining her autonomy in the process.

Yet-

All Kai Lee-Sparklemuffin wants to do is get licensed to become a park ranger and study feral robots, cyborg fish, and other effects of lost technology on the world after the eco-catastrophe that decimated the world centuries prior. They even managed to get accepted to study with the library monks. And then one night in the middle of spring their life gets turned sideways when alien dragons start invading and they accidentally run into a house-sized bioweapon on their way home from the library.  

Good news! They didn’t die. 

Bad news! The alien bioweapon--or drakaiju-- bonded with them and not only are they now morally obligated to use this new power to fight off the space dragons but the military group studying the bioweapons kinda want them dead to get the thing back. Not that Kai wants it or the responsibility, they’ve got enough on their plate to panic over already.

Oh

What beautiful light you give

Small, contained yet full of warmth and brightness

They are drawn to your flame

So brighter you shine to light the way

Little do you know that

Slowly

Surely

Certainly

Your light will fade

Shrinking as time goes on

Like moths chasing the stars, they will leave

For a brighter spark

While you are left to flicker

Dimming

Darkening

Dying

Until you are nothing of your former self

Your beautiful light just a wisp of smoke

Gone

 People turning, “if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all,” into a battle cry for, “you can't say anything negative about my thing,” is bullshit, and it’s crippling you as a person and as a content creator.

Preface: I'm not saying people are free to go at a creator/person and attack them with their negative opinion, nor that you should accept it. That's flaming, and it's never cool. However, the prevalence of flaming has created this culture (especially in fanwork) where people cannot accept even polite criticism, and it’s hot garbage.

Some backstory: I was raised to debate. I have 6 siblings.  When we were growing up, we had to defend our side of a dispute in a non-attacking way if we wanted whichever parent to see our point. Persuasive essays were my jam in school. I love deep discussions, particularly with people I disagree, because it helps me see more viewpoints, see an issue from all sides, and possibly change my opinion with more perspective. I'm open to having my viewpoint changed. I'm open to apologizing. I'm open to agreeing to disagree. I'm open to criticism, provided it is polite and clear that we share mutual respect for one another. That's what critique is. Truly good critique, in my opinion, blends the strengths with the weaknesses.

I see this statement passed around on social media, quoted in headers, in the starting notes of fics, etc. all the time. “Do not critique my work.” “Not interested in critique.” “Not accepting critique at this time.” It's intended, I think, to say, “Do not hate on my work,” but what it actually says is, “Don't disagree with me,” and it's not a productive stance to have, particularly with creative work. In my early days of writing fanfiction, I made a lot of mistakes. Know how I know? People told me, and they weren't kind about it. Know what I did? I was young, so I got mad, but at the same time, I thought back to that criticism every time I wrote. It haunted me like a narrative ghost. Want to guess what happened? It improved my writing, far more than the praise did. It put my flaws in boldface typing, size 48, a shadow over my work until eventually, I conquered it. It helped me see a problem I had and make appropriate changes.

When you refuse criticism, it's much more difficult for that to happen. I'm not saying you can't spot and fix a flaw on your own, but when all you accept is a yes-man echo chamber, it's harder to drown out the noise and hear that discordant note in the background of your symphony. Also, it makes you incredibly thin-skinned to any kind of critique, even the respectful ones. It makes you see any negative opinions about your work as a personal attack. It leaves you vulnerable in situations where you have to accept criticism (like a job). It makes you less introspective, which means you’re even more likely to never spot and fix your flaws.

Stop doing this. Stop deleting your negative comments. Stop blocking people who have a difference of opinion. Stop symbolically plugging your ears to all voices of dissent. Look at them. Look at your criticism and discern if this person means to criticize you or your work.

For, “you,” feel free to ignore it if you aren't confrontational; someone attacking you personally for a work is most likely flaming. That said, don’t disregard a flame outright. Analyze their words for any pertinent insight to flaws in the piece. Sometimes people are too blunt, or sometimes they really are just mean, but if there’s a kernel of truth in their flame, don’t ignore it. Some of my best improvements as a writer came from flames. However, defend yourself in a respectful way if you think they misunderstood. Block them only if it becomes a habit, because some people truly are cruel. But also, don't attribute to malice what can be explained as ignorance. Some people truly do mean well but perhaps worded themselves poorly and came off very harsh. Seek clarification. Do not enter a debate angry. That is not the point of a debate. If anyone is angry to the point of personal attack, be it you or the other person, you are no longer having a discussion; you are having an argument, and you need to disengage.

For, “your work,” look at what they said. Did they offer an opinion on a choice you made? Did they state they still love the overall work? Is their critique based on a misunderstanding of your intent, or is it them stating their opinion on the subject matter? Are they respectful? Do they have any valid points? Then, open a dialogue. Indicate (in a polite way, please) where they misunderstood your piece (if at all), and use examples. “I understand your point, but I actually did address that here...”  “I apologize if it’s not clear, but in this section...”  Be courteous. Do not use sarcasm (“Well if you actually paid attention, I didn’t do that because...” “Clearly you don’t understand my piece because...”). Do not personally attack their opinion ( “Well you’re wrong because...” “How could you possibly think that about my piece...”).  Do not condescend with your defense ( “You misunderstood me entirely, here’s why...” “In this essay, I will point out all the reasons you are wrong...”).  Agree to disagree. Be willing to acknowledge they might have a point in the mix. Take to heart any valid criticism, because it’s going to help you grow.

Sorry to rant so long; this has been on my mind for quite some time and is not aimed at any one specific situation. I've seen and encountered this attitude a lot with fan creators, and it is hurting you more than it helps. Not every critique is an attack, and the sooner you learn this, the better off you'll be as a person and as a content creator. I don’t mean this rudely; this is just me speaking from personal experience and trying to convey how changing my views on critique made me a better person and a better writer. In a way, this whole post has been me attempting to give constructive criticism.

ACCEPTING CRITICISM is not an easy task, so here’s a few tips:

-          You can never have enough of this skill. We Millennials tend to get mad at any sort of criticism (although our parents are not too immune either, are they?). This is because we’ve been taught – always – that we can be anything and do anything. Of course we can – but not if we just go around listening to no one. The first thing to do is make a distinction between criticism and plain ol’ „being mean“.