#accept them

I also want to write today but my kpop writing motivation just... hasn’t been here and I’m sad about it

I shall send you my good vibes rn

Violet: Life gets cooler if you have a hammer in every situation

Klaus: *refering to Bea ll* This is my child, she is my child, we will love my child, and if anyone hurts my child I swear to fucking god I will end you

Sunny: I’m mixing hot chocolate with a knife!

Count Olaf: Is it murder if someone actually walks into your knife?

Isadora: If you ever pretend to be dead and turn out to be alive I’m gonna make you pay for the funeral I threw

Duncan: Panic attack at the opera

Quigley: I challenge you to be more chaotic then me, I fucking challenge you

Fiona: So the school wifi can actually see me google bowls and poison? Why haven’t they done anything!?

Carmelita: Honestly, dont lose your head is a mood cause I’m never sorry for anything I say

Lemony: I am not naming my daughter wine, we have already talked about this

Kit: Newsflash, I am buying a gingerbread coffin for next Tuesday

Jacque: You know what isn’t good? Bad cults, but good ones are perfect

so I’ve had a chance to support a loved one who I’ve known for almost two decades come out as enby. To me this is a gorgeous thing. They are becoming comfortable and happy with who they are. For the first time they are taking the right to be comfortable in their own skin. 

And I’ve watched, and I’ve listened, and I’ve learned. And I’ve gotten pissed on their behalf. 

You see, DH and I still occasionally fuck up - but correct ourselves immediately and move forward with a goal to do better - have watched as those who say they love this person DON’T EVEN TRY. There is no attempt to avoid the dead name. there is literally no effort to get the pronouns right and I got pissed and vented to DH about it and his response hit me like a brick.

It’s because he doesn’t care. 

I’ve been thinking about that for almost a solid 24 hours now. If I were to confront this individual about their lack of respect for pronouns and dead name, he’d absolutely reply “It doesn’t matter. [they’re] still the same person [they’ve] always been and I love [them]. It doesn’t matter to me what pronouns or names they use.” 

And that’s when I got it. THAT IS WHEN I UNDERSTOOD. because my whole fucking being has been screaming 

ITS NOT ABOUT YOU!!

All of this to say: 

I don’t see color.

I don’t care what pronouns they are using now

It doesn’t matter to me what gender they identify as they will always be.... 

Is making it about YOU. 

Someone’s identity is NEVER about YOU. It’s about THEM. This is they skin THEY have to live in. These are the pronouns that reaffirm THEIR right to be seen. This is THEIR identity. 

FFS THEY DESERVE TO BE SEEN. TO BE AFFIRMED. TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED. TO BE CELEBRATED!!

And your “I don’t see color.”, Your refusal to use their proper pronouns, your attempt to be “woke” IS SILENT ERASURE OF THEM AND THEIR IDENTITY AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT

See Color!! It makes the world more vibrant and it forces us to acknowledge **and take steps to correct** the horrible conditions others live under. Use someone’s pronouns properly. Doing so affirms and supports them. It encourages them to be their true selves. If a loved one has a gender identity that differs from one you know, educate yourself. Take steps. RELEARN WHO THAT INDIVIDUAL IS. Maybe not much has changed. Maybe a lot has changed. But the action of taking interest and learning will do a hell of a lot more than the empty “It doesn’t matter to me...” shit.