#accceptance

You don't love someone because they're perfect ~ @jodipicoult

You don’t love someone because they’re perfect,

Of all the teachers that I’ve had in my life, you would think disappointment would be the most effective in showing me why not to get my hopes up. And yet I do. Every single time.

You see, what happens is I meet people that I discover pieces of myself in and I find it to be one of the most fascinating things ever. I met this wonderful human being in a relatively unexciting setting and we hit it off. There was no ulterior motive beyond good conversation with great company.

Suddenly, the occasional company turned into a constant energy at my side. It was refreshing to talk to someone whose first priority in life was laughter. To indulge in it and spread it wherever he could. But when the laughter ceased, the loud silence of his sadness became deafening. It drowned out the sound of my many worried phone calls. Eventually, my worry started to give way to anger. What an inconsiderate thing to do, to make me frantic rather than tell me you need space. You come back, as though nothing happened at all, and after five seconds of your familiar laughter, I already forgive you because dammit, I missed you. I ask you not to do it again and you promise that you won’t. When I took your word for it, I guess it slipped my mind how natural it was for you to lie to make me feel better because you did do it again.

I’ve stopped texting and I’ve stopped calling. The disappointment this time around has been effective and I know not to get my hopes up about hearing back. It doesn’t stop me from wishing you health and wishing well.

Love fully accepts people exactly as they are, regardless of the choices those people make.

Also, you can’t delegate happiness. It’s a personal choice and personal responsibility.

Only you can make yourself happy and only I can make myself happy. There’s nothing anyone in the world could do to make me unhappy unless I choose to be unhappy. The same is true for every single human being, you included.

A person who loves you can offer you guidance on how to be happy if that’s something you aspire to experience, but that is different from blaming you for their unhappiness because you don’t believe, think, and do what they want you to.

At the end of the day, if someone truly loves you they will accept whatever you choose is right for you and take personal responsibility for their state of being at all times.

Another word for love is freedom.

if you can't describe and communicate your needs to other people, they won't consistently get met.