Queer, Female, and Aboriginal - Matika Little, a Wiradjuri lesbian.
Growing up in regional New South Wales, finding other queer people – much less Indigenous queer people – felt almost impossible. I didn’t look like the stereotype of either community. I have pale skin, blue eyes and brown hair so I definitely didn’t look like representations of Aboriginal women I saw in the media.
I remember school photo day in my senior year of high school. The Indigenous students were called up for our yearly photo. I stood up, and my teacher stopped me and said, “oh not you Matika, It’s only for the Indigenous girls”. This would not be the last time I would encounter comments like these.
Too white to be black, too black to be white and too femme to be gay. It seemed that finding out where I belonged was going to be harder than I thought.
All too often Australia’s Indigenous queer community can feel like we are invisible. Very little research has gone into understanding or representing First Nations LGBT+ realities or struggles. So our communities often go unheard, unseen and unaided – particularly in regional or rural parts of Australia, where I’m from.
As a Wiradjuri woman who also identifies as lesbian, I would be lying if I said I haven’t also faced depression, even self-harmed in the past as a result of feeling hopeless, feeling unwanted and struggling to find positive representation of my people in the media.
I used to think that my Indigenous and queer identities had to exist separately, that embracing one made me less of the other. Luckily, with age comes wisdom, and today I realise that Aboriginal and LGBT+ people have more in common than I thought. It’s the very thing I had been worried about never truly having.
In 2017 I marched in the First Nations float of the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. At 21 years of age, it was the first time in my life I truly felt two of the most important parts of my identity coming together as one.
As I walked down Oxford St with an Aboriginal flag tied to my back, surrounded by glitter, pride flags and love, I could finally see all I had ever wanted was right there in front of me. This was my community, these were the people I had been searching for in those times of self-doubt and isolation.
I was finally seen for both my Aboriginality and my queer identity without either cancelling the other out. It was empowering, emotional and thrillingly validating.