#abhorlove

REALIZING  SHE  WAS  PREGNANT  WAS  A  TROUBLING  TIME  FOR  THE  SOPRANO.           she  was  unmarried  &  had  just  forced  anthony  from  her  life.            what  was  she  supposed  to  do  ?          seek  out  a  back  alley  doctor  to  end  an  innocent  life  ?          no  baby  asked  for  her  recklessness  with  a  viscount.         they  could  not  help  who  their  father  was.          she’d  once  dreamed  of  their  children  -------  what  living  a  decent  life  could  be  like.            now  ,  her  choices  were  deeply  limited. 

a  choice  was  decided  before  the  baby  bump  was  truly  noticeable  ------  tell  the  man  she  was  seeing  that  it  was  his.            he  wasn’t  too  dissimilar  from  anthony  physically  ,  so  it  shouldn’t  be  an  issue.          he  promised  to  take  care  of  her  ,  &&  THAT  HE  DID.         they  were  married  before  a  dress  would  show  the  bump.           not  a  love  match  ,  but  at  least  she  wouldn’t  be  raising  a  baby  from  the  run  down  room  of  the  theater  on  her  own.    

so  why  then  is  she  at  anthony’s  doorstep  now  ?          he’s  married  as  well  ,  according  to  the  gossip  of  the  ton’s  lady  whistledown.         kate  sharma  ,  the  spinster.            a  lady  ,  though  not  as  dignified  as  the  ones  that  he’d  always  shunned  siena  for  not  being.             A  LOVE  MATCH.           messy  as  the  scandals  around  it  had  been  ,  she  was  happy  he  found  what  he  was  looking  for  -----  at  least  ,  she  told  herself  she  was.   

today  ,  though  ,  she’s  made  the  decision  to  COME  CLEAN.           she  had  no  doubts  that  her  child  was  anthony’s  ----------  the  time  line  was  too  perfect  ;  &&  if  she’d  had  doubts  ,  when  he  started  to  get  a  bit  older  ,  his  appearance  was  too  strikingly  anthony.          there  was  no  doubting  that  -----  anthony  would  notice  ,  too.        

as  she  sit  in  the  foyer  ,  toddler  cradled  on  her  lap  ,  she  can’t  help  but  bounce  him  nervously  with  her  leg.         it’s  been  a  year  &  nine  months  since  she  last  saw  anthony.            since  they  broke  each  other’s  hearts.          maybe  this  was  too  cruel  --------  maybe  she  should  leave  ,  spare  him  the  sight  of  a  life  he  couldn’t  have.         but  then  he’s  there  ,  rushing  into  the  room  &  looking  at  her  like  he’s  seen  a  ghost.        she  assumes  she’s  as  pale  as  one.           

It was her maid that informed her. More than a month has passed since Kate last had her courses. She hadn’t noticed. The effort into providing Kate with a child and the Bridgerton’s with an heir was an afterthought for the newlywed couple, something that would happen when the time was right. And as it so happened, that time would be arriving a few months from now.

Kate sits on the edge of their bed. Still together in the same room each night, separate bedrooms were not a possibility and the suggestion of it would be met with a resounding NO! from the couple. She remains in her shift, staring down at her fingers. She sits with the knowledge that a tiny baby is growing within her. The next heir to the Bridgerton family. Already she wonders what their child will be like.

She places both hands beside her on the bed and takes a deep breath in. Anthony was in his study, working or so he said he would be.

Careful, quiet steps are taken across the floor. She hesitates and waits, peering at her husband in the tiny opening of the door but not for concern that her husband was lost in ledgers. Only waiting for the right moment to catch him off guard.

Fingers creep into the room through the small opening. The Viscountess takes her time with opening the door. “Viscount,” she addresses, her traditional devious smile upon her lips. She steps into the room and walks behind him with an only slightly less than obvious sway of her hips. 

it  is  unfathomable  how  different  it  is  to  be  around  him,  everything  being  quite  so  ...  different.  as  her  heart  dropped  into  the  pit  of  her  stomach,  a  myriad  of  emotions  rapidly  claimed  picturesque  features.  there  was  no  hint  of  ease,  despite  the  feeling  that  is  what  his  words  were  supposed  to  accomplish.  it  would  be  foolish,  and  perhaps  even  naive,  to  believe  that  they  might  not  find  themselves  encountering  each  other  so  soon,  and  now  she  is  left  to  wonder  what  facets  of  him  were  genuine  and  which  ones  were  not.  how  could  she  possibly  put  her  faith  in  him  right  now?  the  woman  would  have  expressed  a  much  more  obstinate  position  if  her  thoughts  hadn't  already  been  preoccupied  with  her  own  personal  dilemmas;  however,  even  she  did  not  have  it  in  her  to  be  as  obstinate  as  she  wished  to  be.  she  was  convinced  that  there  was  nothing  she  could  do  to  change  the  situation,  and  she  knew  that  she  couldn't  remain  upset  forever.  edwina  only  has  one  wish,  and  that  is  for  the  girl  she  used  to  be  —  the  one  who  was  vivacious,  bright,  and  full  of  hopes  and  dreams.  she  longs  for  the  days  when  things  weren't  nearly  as  complicated.  ❛  I  do  not  think  you  can  help  me,  my  lord.  I  am  sure  you  can  appreciate  that  it  is  the  last  thing  I  would  desire.  ❜

“  was the performance not to your taste, my lord?  ”    there was the ghost of a teasing smile on her lips as she approached the viscount. she did not know him well enough to warrant such a familiar tone, but that did not seem a particularly compelling impediment just then. after all, he was not the host of this little soiree, nor was he responsible for ensuring her payment. and since there were few of his station in attendance who currently offered any finer amusement, she would have to content herself with the stern-looking nobleman.    “  tell me -- was it my singing that displeased you? or is it opera in general you do not care for?  ”

   ━━━━━━━         ❛         I’D   GO   TO   THE   ENDS   OF   THE   EARTH   FOR   YOU.          ❜           a  gentle  smile  curves  her  lips  as  she  runs  her  fingertips  gently  against  the  half-asleep-man’s  cheek  ,   her  wedding  ring  shimmering  slightly  in  the  moonlight.                ❛     i   do   hope   you   know   that.      ❜

THE  WORLD  IS  QUIET  WHEN  HE’S  THERE  IN  HER  BED.           doesn’t  feel  as  overwhelming  &  oppressive.           there  is  just  anthony  ,  bare  as  the  day  he  was  born  &  warm  as  a  personal  heater  against  her  side.        for  once  it  doesn’t  feel  like  she’ll  fall  prey  to  the  winter’s  ahead.        but  that  feeling  is  oh  so  fleeting  ━━━━━  he’ll  be  gone  before  she  can  really  consider  a  warm  bed  for  the  rest  of  her  life.           

It’s about looking in the eyes of your WIFE and knowing, ALL  THE   WAY   TO   YOUR   BONES, that she’s simply the BEST PERSON you’ve ever known.