#@matt

okay so things have been weird in my relationship with matt, not like bad weird just not what i’m used to.  he’s really sweet and nice and i enjoy spending time with him and i think he’s kind of forcing me out of my no fun bubble that i’ve constructed for myself over the years.  but that’s not what this post is about.  so it’s weird, and i thought i was alone in feeling the weirdness and i was kind of feeling down about the whole thing and trying to decide whether i should try to talk to him about it,   but last night he brought it up before i got the chance.  he said that i’m the first girl he’s dated in a long time (three and a half years) and that he’s kind of freaked out about it (in a good way, from what i understand) and that he’s sorry for acting weird.  it made me feel so much better to know that he was aware of the vibes and i wasn’t just overthinking things and making stuff up in my head to sabotage a perfectly good thing.  

okay but like one of the cutest things i’ve ever experienced was matt drunk off his ass last night on the verge of tears very carefully trying to articulate his feelings for me without slurring and just being like “i want you to be MY girlfriend but you can’t be because you’re somebody else’s girlfriend but i like you so much and you’re really cool and pretty and i like you and i really want you to be my girlfriend” for like 2 hours