Hon, you look like you forgot how to eat a reasonable amount of food for years while spending your time on your fat ass. Got a bit caught up to notice how much you've been stuffing into your mouth mhm?

I mean in pregnancy the saying is "eating for two", but it's clear that you prefer to eat meals that are meant for 4.

Don't get me wrong, you and a pregnant woman have a few things in common... Swelling of the areolas, gorging breasts, deep red stretch marks, and an insatiable appetite.

Let me ask, was looking like a pregnant woman your intention??? Not a glutton, or a hog, or even a bhm, but a pregnant woman? Definitely a strange goal for a man, but hey who am I to yuck one of your many yums...