moving forward
It has been a few days since the incident with driving home and that blue rusty truck with a silver U-haul. This happened last Friday and now have proper time to reflect, I’m still shaken. I can’t sleep during the night. The lights have to be on or daylight has to be shining through the curtains. Driving is something I used to take pride in, I loved driving, it relaxed me. RelaxED me, now just the thought of getting behind the wheel puts fear into me. I refuse to drive and I know that I have a 5-hour drive ahead of me in a couple of days. I can’t stand when a car is next to me, it flashes me back.
Worst of all; in public, I am a mess, always looking over my shoulder. I am worried, worried that someone is going to pop out and ‘nab me or hurt me. I know that it will go away eventually, but now it’s really hard. I don’t understand. It’s not fair, those boys can drive off and keep going without a second thought. Here I am days later, still shaking, upset because I am too young to get a gun for a tad bit of safety. When I first got home, my dad was looking at guns that I could use for protection, just knowing that I would have SOMETHING to defend myself. But after my very anti-gun mother put her foot down, said I could have WASP spray and PEPPER spray. So instead of a lethal, actual useful tool, I get pepper and wasp spray. This has me pretty upset. I don’t really see how it will help, but only 8 months til I’m 21 then I’m conceal carrying a pink gun! 8 more months!
