#5th commandment

When men can't find work, how are they form families and have homes? This isn't just a social problem, but a problem for the church as well.

(by request, my homily from Mother’s Day)

Today is Mother’s Day. It’s one of the “expected” holidays.

It’s an expected holiday – just like Thanksgiving or Christmas – because we’re expected to do certain things for Mother’s Day.

While exactly what we are expected to do for Mother’s Day varies from family to family, the details really aren’t the important part.

The important part? The part that carries the greatest weight? It’s the “expected” part.

That is, whatever it is that we do for Mother’s Day, we are expected to do it.

How can you tell? Because that’s the part we explain, the part we get defensive about.

And that’s the part that bears down on us the hardest when – for whatever reason – we don’t do it.

It’s a dynamic that’s hitting home for me right now. Because this is my first Mother’s Day without my mom.

Everything that I expected to do for Mother’s Day? It’s not happening this year.

And I’m not sure what to do with Mother’s Day.

Because all of those feelings that are part and parcel of Mother’s Day? And all of the baggage that comes with not doing things that we’re expected to do? It’s all still there.

Even if no one else asks me about it. All of that “expected” stuff is still there, waiting for me to answer.

I’m not alone in this. A lot of us won’t be doing what we’re expected to do for Mother’s Day.

Maybe it’s because mom isn’t with you anymore.

Or maybe it’s because there’s a disconnect between mom and child.

Maybe it’s because you never got to be a mom.

Or maybe it’s because your time as a mom was cut short.

No matter what the reason. No matter why or who’s responsible.

There are a lot of us who won’t be doing what we’re expected to do for Mother’s Day. And that hits home, harder than we like to admit.

So, what do we do with Mother’s Day, when we can’t do what we’re expected to do?

First, we need to realize that all of the baggage that you and I have when it comes to Mother’s Day? All of the expected stuff that weighs us down?

It doesn’t come from God. It comes from our broader culture.

That doesn’t mean it’s not with us. You and I aren’t walled off from the broader culture. I get hit with the same cultural messages that you do.

And when you and I come to church, we come carrying all of that stuff with us.

Which can make it hard for us to hear what God has to say. Even when it comes to motherhood.

You know how our God speaks, right? God speaks most clearly through action.

Here’s what I mean – what does God have to say to us about love?

God gives us His answer through Jesus, and Good Friday.

So, what does God have to say to us about motherhood?

God gives us His answer through Mary, the mother of Our Savior.

Giving birth to a child? Raising a child? That’s our culture’s Mother’s Day checklist. In the limited view of our broader culture, that’s it. That’s motherhood. That’s what’s expected.

And nothing else will ever measure up.

But in the motherhood of Mary, in the ministry of Mary, God tells us the truth.

Giving birth to a child? Raising a child? That is beautiful.

But those are only some of the ways that motherhood is lived out. Even when that child is the Savior of us all.

Because the motherhood of Mary is the ministry of Mary. And the ministry of Mary doesn’t stop with her Son.

We see more of Mary’s motherhood, long after the Nativity, throughout the Gospels and in the Book of Acts.

We see Mary’s motherhood with Jesus, time and again. She’s an integral part of His ministry. And one of the few people who were brave enough to stay at the hour of His death.

We see Mary’s motherhood in lasting relationships. She’s with the Apostles, time and again. Even after Jesus’ death, resurrection, and ascension.

And we see Mary’s motherhood in brief moments. Like the wedding at Cana.

Kind of like the motherhood that every one of us has been blessed by in our own lives.

All of us have been blessed with women who have been integral parts of our lives, who have been mothers to us at our best and at our worst.

All of us have been blessed with lasting relationships with women who have poured out the gifts and graces of motherhood for us, time and again.

All of us have been blessed with women who we only knew for a moment. But who poured out the gifts and graces of motherhood for us in those brief moments.

And all of them did that for us – and do that for us – whether they’re related to us or not.

Because that is the fullness of motherhood.

That is the motherhood that God calls all women to. To be holy and living bearers of God’s grace where it is needed most, whether it’s for a lifetime or for a moment. Whether they’re related to us or not.

This year, for Mother’s Day, let’s do something different. Let’s do it God’s way.

Let’s follow the Fifth Commandment. And honor the women who have been mothers in our lives. Whether they’re related to us or not.

For the ones who are still with us? Today, after Mass, pick two or three of the women you owe the most to. Thank God for them, but don’t stop there.

Reach out. Call them, email them, text them. Let them know why you thank God for them.

And tell them Happy Mother’s Day.

For the ones who are no longer with us, please join me in asking our Blessed Mother to intercede for them (in the words of St. Luke), Hail Mary….

Daily writing promptIf you had the power to change one law, what would it be and why?View all responses By changing laws? Well, it would be nice to repeal the law of gravity and fly around like Superman. But, I don’t think that’s the kind of laws were talking about here. We’re talking about the kind of laws passed by the people or by some governing body, bound into a book, and we’re asked to…

Please read Romans 13:1-5 In Romans 13:1, the apostle Paul instructs us to submit ourselves to the governing authorities because those who are in the position are appointed by God for our own good. One of those authorities is our parents. In fact, family is the first and most important part of our society. It is so important that God made it the fifth commandment of The Law. It is also the first…

Reformed Caste System: The Puritans Saw Violation of Caste as Equal to Violation of the 5th Commandment

This article is updated and revised from an article originally published on October 4, 2012

“But with this considered, the Puritans believed that the idol of upward social mobility was a specific violation of the 5th commandment. Yes, wanting to improve the lot you were born into was dishonoring one’s parents.” 

There is a reason for everything. I like reasons; the “why.” I understand that…