#5sos fandom

"Luke? Luke, are you okay?" Your voice came through the bathroom door, he was inside, but all you could hear was the sound of the shower running.

"...Yes, I'm going to take a shower, it's fine."

"What are you talking about? You burst into the house and locked yourself in the bathroom. Don't tell me 'it's fine' "

"Please... I swear I'm fine, sorry if I was rough." Your body calmed down a little when you heard Luke closer to the door, almost as if he were pressed against the wood.

"C'mon Luke" you said, lowering your tone just enough to connect with him at that moment. It was like trying to hunt a deer.

"You can talk to me about anything you want"

On the other side, Luke was thinking about whether it was easier to open up or avoid complications. He was still wearing his open-collared shirt, his leather jacket and black jeans, his boots dirtying the damp floor, mixing the dirt from outside with the small puddles of water.

You waited outside with your head against the white door, knowing that the sound of the shower was just a distraction.

"Look, we don't have to do this, honey..."

He wanted to talk, he really wanted to, but letting go was harder than it seemed, everything he kept inside tortured him, whether from exhaustion or the guilt he felt. As the silence dragged on, the possibility seemed more distant.

"...If you don't want to talk, that's fine, you know I love you all the same."

now or never, now or never, now or nev-

"Wait!" He opened the door quickly, and you could finally see Luke's agitated expression, his eyes slightly moist, one of his hair fell over his forehead.

"Babe..." Before you could finish speaking, he caught you in a tight hug, too tight, but you didn't want to complain at that moment. You wrapped yourself around him as best you could considering his size compared to you.

"Could you please, please, please, stay here for a while?" His voice was a whisper, he closed his eyes tightly, maybe hoping that when he opened them everything would be better. Luke didn't care if he sounded desperate.

"Of course." You could only hug him, you had no idea what was hidden in that head of his, you only knew that you couldn't leave at that moment.

Minutes passed while his body was pressed against yours, despite the layers of clothing that covered you both you could perfectly feel his warmth surrounding you, especially his hands clinging to your back, you heard his breathing and when he sniffled to hold back his tears. The warm light in the hallway at night calmed the atmosphere a little, the shower was still running in the background, which gave you an idea.

You didn't break the hug, but you did take a step back so Luke could let go, you needed to look him in the eyes. He was still struggling to hold back, even though his eyes were red and his fingers were trembling when they released your body.

"You're tense, Luke. Go take a bath and eat something. Maybe that will calm you down a bit, and then we can lie down and talk for a while, okay?"

He let out a sigh, trying to think straight, he was dazed. Luke turned to go back to the bathroom. You watched as he took off his jacket until he finished closing the door in front of you.

You had to trust that it would help.

Inside, he took off his boots and clothes, everything fell haphazardly into a corner of the bathroom, the hot water steaming and fogging the mirrors and the shower door. When he finally entered the water his muscles relaxed. The world faded away in the heat that filled the space, he knew something was missing, but for now, that was enough to make him feel like a civilized person when he came out of the bathroom.

The water fell endlessly on the back of his neck, he could keep thinking and thinking, trying to find a magical solution, or at least until it was time to go out and truly collide with the world.

Luke was calm there alone because everything was reduced to white noise and himself.

After a while, he finally finished bathing, and with a sigh, he stepped out of the shower. The man grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist. His bare chest wandering around the house had never been a problem beyond the dripping water; Luke never quite dried himself off properly when he was in the bathroom, so most of the time he came out looking like a soaking wet dog. To a certain extent, his irresponsibility seemed endearing, especially when he did it without realizing it, like on days like these.

Luke entered the shared room silently, he still didn't want to be seen or questioned.

You knew his attitude, so you stayed leaning against the headboard of the bed, obviously glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. Didn't want to pressure him, but you also couldn't ignore the fact that things were bad again.

Your boyfriend finally dried himself in front of the wardrobe next to the bed, let go of the towel from his hip and wiped his face, chest and the rest of his body with it.

Your eyes couldn't help but admire his pale back, trembling slightly from the cold and the way his arms moved as if his shoulders were heavy, leaving aside any kind of desire, you wanted to hug him, without a doubt.

After Luke got dressed, he sat down next to you. The bed and his clothes made him feel more comfortable and warm.

He finally turned towards you. It was so simple you would have thought everything was back to normal if it weren't for his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes...

They were scared.

Asking if he was okay would probably be pointless for now, it was clear he wasn't, so you opted for something else.

"Do you want a hug?" You raised your arms, you wanted to help him, to take care of him if necessary. "Come here, baby."

Luke's large arms encircled you almost immediately, pulling you towards him and pressing your bodies together again, instinctively, he buried his face in your neck.

The silence didn't last long, you could feel him losing his breath as he spoke against your neck and shoulder.

"Things haven't gone very well... First Michael... and now... I don't know why... It's stupid." He tried to find the best way to say it without it sounding serious, but it was, and when it slipped from his lips the silence became evident.

"Someone threatened to kill me."

Feeling your body tense, Luke panicked. "I-It probably wasn't meant for me" He pulled away from you, holding you by the shoulders..."There were a lot of people there and I had my back turned. I think I just heard bad." ...and stopped when he was face to face with you, his breathing ragged again, barely able to meet your gaze.

"But you're still afraid." You weren't being very gentle, you knew Luke, you knew him well enough to know that as soon as you gave him the chance he would look for any way to escape instead of facing his own problems, even if they were right in front of him.

You looked him straight in the eyes even though he avoided it at all costs.

"No, I..." A dry laugh escaped his throat, there it was again, that damned smile that served to lighten everything. He was a calm person maybe, but not now, not after opening up. There was nothing calm about someone who was afraid like a child for a completely understandable reason.

"Luke"

"I'm telling you, it's impossible that a truly danger person got through security, it was just... nothing"

"Luke..."

"I was tired of interviews, that's all. I probably misunderstood when I was greeting the fans."

"Love, listen to me" You faltered, your tone lower than usual. How else could you handle it in that moment? How do you let him know you're there for him? "You don't have to hide or keep anything to yourself, especially something that serious"

"I'm not upset, or scared, or indifferent." You tried to continue, but the words wouldn't come out. Now you had that stupid smile on your face. You wanted to show him that everything would be alright. "You can say it, tell me whatever you want, whenever you want. My patience... no, whatever this is, it's not going to change." You lifted his hands, holding them. "See, I'm going to be here whenever you need me, because I love you, and that means that no matter what happens, even if you make a mistake someday, or if you get tired of me and I of you, I'm going to keep loving you."

A low laugh escaped you, partly to calm yourself, and partly because of how strange but honest it all sounded coming out of your mouth.

You stopped being an anchor for Luke in reality, everything seemed more like a desperate attempt not to lose him in those blue eyes.

Luke opened his mouth several times, nothing came out, but his eyes were already red, on the verge of tears, at a certain point he stopped trying and just sank once more into the embrace. You covered his back with your arms.

You could feel his body trembling beneath your limbs, you had to wait for him to finish venting.

"I was just... signing autographs and greeting some fans and... in the parking lot someone approached me, I was already arriving at the van, there were many fans but I heard him, when I turned around there was this man, I couldn't even see his face, but I felt it was him or someone close to him"

There wasn't much relief in your head hearing your partner's pent-up crying. Beyond this situation, the way he clung to you so tightly made you deduce that he wasn't crying just because of this. You still didn't know how much he had kept to himself, but you didn't want to pressure him.

"I tried to ignore it because it's nothing new, it happened to Michael a few months ago, but damn... I really wasn't expecting it and... it seemed like no one else noticed, so I didn't say anything. Maybe I should have, if someone was waiting for the opportunity or something."

Just thinking about the possibility made you shudder, the fear was real and the risk possible, but the fact that Luke was so overwhelmed and would actually consider it, someone hurting him...

You got a lump in your throat, it took you a while before you could comfort him again.

"No, no, don't think about that for a while, okay? We can notify the manager and hire more security for a while until we're safe." You broke away from the hug for a moment, holding his face in your hands, Luke's skin was warm even though his shaved beard felt rough under your fingers. "Now you're here, at home, and it's totally normal that you've felt this way. Just... please don't wait until it's too late to ask for help, you know I'll always support you."

His sad and tired expression accepted your displays of affection, of course he wanted to forget everything, but it would take him some time to feel safe and calm again.

You slowly moved closer to kiss him, but before you could, he lay down. You didn't stand there with your arms outstretched in vain. Once he was on the pillow, Luke patted the mattress beside him a couple of times, he wanted you to rest too.

How could you refuse?

A smile appeared on your lips as you settled under the sheets.

Luke hugged you, pressing his cheek against your chest, feeling your heartbeat a little. Tears burned around his closed eyes, leaving the skin around them slightly red, as was his nose, glistening from crying. You stroked his hair gently and carefully, running your fingers through his curls.

It was almost unthinkable to see him snuggled up like this after seeing him constantly busy, with his head on other things and that look of unbreakable.

But all that was bullshit.

He was just a boy.