September 16, 2021 - I wake up everyday at 7am, alarm or no alarm. I woke up this morning at 5:30am and I had the weirdest dream/thought thing going on that just continued straight into lucidness. Whenever this hits it’s usually when I’m having a bit of a struggle falling asleep... It’s that “I can’t sleep, so I’ll do the life inventory/evaluation”. How did I get here? That kid 55 years ago that was an asshole to me/I was an asshole to him. Argument with my dad-argument with my mom... both now gone. People I did wrong, people that did me wrong. The complicated shit that went on at a place I worked at for 22 years and how much of it I caused versus how much I felt was just me getting fucked over. I fall asleep and the next day, it’s just “what was that all about”? Today was not like that. I got up, had some coffee, watched the news, a couple YouTube videos of people making things and got on with my day. But I didn’t just cancel out the “life analysis” thing. I kept thinking about some of that stuff and couldn’t come to terms with the fact that I’m 70 years old and 99% of that stuff just absolutely doesn’t matter anymore to anyone and probably hasn’t for a long time. Gotta let go completely. I hear about old people getting rid of stuff. Cleaning out closets, garages, tools, physical things. I understand why.