#4:48am

I’ve been tumblring down the tumblr hole

I’ve been tumblring so I don’t brainrot YT shorts

I’ve never really posted much to tumblr

Never really figured out how to use it correctly

oh well

My hearts definitely in a weird place

Both of them

And by both I mean my physical and emotional heart I’m not a time lord trust

Ever since summer started I’ve been falling away

somehow at the time I could be doing anything and everything I do nothing

My doctor a year or so ago found a small issue I had with my heart, a pre ventricular contraction or so they said?

They said to cut down on caffeine which I did which had some effect, but to this day my chest sometimes still feels funny

should probably get that checked out

blame myself for it, tell myself it’s the way I live

crappy diet, no exercise, and an unholy sleep schedule leaving me sleeping at dawn

hopefully my heart is okay

turns out school is where I see all my friends

don’t really know so well how to socialize outside

have a lot of friends, it’s just super new to me

kinda miss that one girl I like

texting her makes me panic but seeing her smile makes me warm

should probably do something about that

I stopped doing as much of the stuff I love

I did make pants and upgraded my 3d printer but haven’t done much more than animating

Gods I love animating

hope I make it as a storytime animator someday

want to animate because storytime animators made my life a whole lot better

hope I can be the hero for people I never had

know I probably won’t make it

wonder if I won’t make it because fate and algorithms said it wasn’t in the cards or I’m too stuck gaming and doomscrolling to try

want my life back

need to remember I can’t choose what happens but I can still choose to get back up