#365ys19

A year ago, I thought that my time had finally come. I felt like I had done everything I was suppose to do. I thought I'd met everyone that I was suppose to meet. I was failing my classes. I slept too much and never ate. I didn't talk to my friends. I didn't talk to much of anyone. I didn't want to admit that I was depressed, but I knew. 

I tried to kill myself. I thought life had reached its best and I didn't want to take the chance of things going south.

I was hospitalized for 10 days. Sometimes I still think that it was all a dream or something I imagined.

At the beginning of 2014 my best friend Guia and I made a promise to ourselves. 2014 will be a no BS year.

I started a quest to find out why I was still alive. 

I dropped some people. I had to reevaluate.

I went out and I met people. My goodness I met my really interesting and horrible and wonderful and thoughtful and angry and lovely people.

I dated, like a lot, all ages, all races.

Then came the beginning of the end. His name was Dayvone and the date was July 5, 2014

"Would you be offended if I told you that I wanted to get to know you?" THAT. That is the question that changed my life.

"No, I wouldn't"

THAT. That was the answer that started a new chapter.

I did the whole young and in love bit.

I got scared, but I didn't run this time. There was something different about this one. Not really different, but something that I thought that made him worth all of it. 

5 months in and the anniversary of almost dying had come and all I could think was that I could have ended my life before meeting this boy. 

All I could think about was how I could have missed out on one of the greatest opportunities of my life because I felt the need to rush death.

This year I learned that there is no reason to rush. It's ok to take my time. It's ok for everyone to take their time.

We are all going to get exactly where we are suppose to be. Know your worth. Know your standard. Love. Live. Enjoy. 

Make mistakes and learn from them. That's what I encourage.

Fall in love unconditionally.

I am in love.

I love my boyfriend.

I love Dayvone. 

I love my life.

I love.

I'm proud of how far I've come. I'm proud of how far I have left to go. I'm proud of my boyfriend. I'm proud of my life. I'm proud to be me. I've proud to be alive.