#2yearsafter

PART TWO

Living the aftermath and lashing at the Philippine government

Life after the typhoon was difficult. We have lost everything–lives, livelihood, establishments, power and water supply. Even communication (via cellphone or e-mail) was gone. We couldn’t contact our loved ones. It has been three days, and we haven’t received any help from the national government, no relief operations has been made. So we had no choice, we were running out of supplies, I have a baby nephew and a toddler niece, and they were running out of milk and diapers. So we resorted to looting, like everybody else, well it wasn’t really ‘looting,’ the owner of a warehouse that stood a few meters away from our house was kind enough to open the warehouse and let people get whatever they need. So we had a bunch of canned goods, milk, coffee, even bottles of distilled water (God bless the owner). Then the situation got worse, people ransacked even the furniture stores, malls, and other establishments. Don’t judge us, we were desperate that time. There was even a rumor that convicts from the City Jail escaped during the typhoon and were on the loose, some say that these convicts were raping women and stealing from other houses, so people were scared. We couldn’t sleep peacefully at night because we have to be vigilant, we have to be alert, but as a result we became exhausted and paranoid.

Finally, help came along. Relief operations spread like wildfire all over the city, Filipinos, Foreigners, even the locals joined hand in hand in distributing relief goods, cash assistance, stress debriefing, and providing medical and security aid. Martial Law was declared in Tacloban, people aren’t allowed to go out beyond 8pm to ensure everyone’s safety.

You know what sucks? First, our dear president didn’t want to help us because of some old personal conflicts (he is an Aquino and our Mayor is a Romualdez) I mean really? As far as I know Tacloban City is a part of the Philippines and HE is the president of our country, why drag the issue between the Aquino and Marcos clan on this? Second, two years have already passed, the whole world knows how much the total amount of donation was collected from both local and (especially) foreign communities, how come a lot of survivors STILL live on temporary shelters? What happened to the rest of the money that was for the victims? Ehem, hi! Aquino Administration, hi! DSWD, anyare sa pondo? Nasaan na?

I am still very disappointed with the slow response of the national government, and some local media who gave false information about the real situation here in Tacloban, hello there Korina Sanchez! How dare you make it seem like Anderson Cooper was lying when he himself was a witness to all the shits that happened during that time. You and your husband (Mar Roxas) are really meant for each other *flips middle finger on their damn faces* and if Mar Roxas wins the presidential election next year, then the Philippine government is a certified hopeless case. God bless my country.

MY FOREVER THANKS!

Tacloban will be forever thankful to both local and international communities who WHOLEHEARTEDLY HELPED US during those difficult times. We will never forget your kindness and compassion. Pope Francis, we love you! Every Yolanda survivor is grateful for your efforts to come here and made us feel God’s love through you. NGO’s and volunteers, I salute you guys! Thank you for helping us even in your own little way. Everything you have done is highly appreciated.

Lord God, thank you for the gift of life, and for being with us. You kept your promise, you neither left nor forsaken us. I pray for the souls of those who perished during the wrath of Haiyan/Yolanda, may they rest in eternal peace. For those who have lost their loved ones, may their wounds heal, and continue to move forward and be happy.

This day, was the day when my worst nightmares came to life. At the same time, this was also the day when I was given a second life, second chance to live.

PART ONE

Looking back 2 years ago…

http://youtu.be/IyBlXIZo2bY

The link above is a documentary that was uploaded by SpiesLeaks on YouTube. The video above shows ONLY A PIECE of what actually happened when Haiyan/Yolanda battered my beloved home two years ago.

Yes, it is only a piece of what happened, because there are many Haiyan survivors including me who has our own story to tell.

Fast Facts:

📌Haiyan or locally known as Yolanda is one the strongest tropical cyclones every recorded in history, much much more stronger than hurricane Katrina.

📌Ten-minute sustained wind: 285 kph, one-minute sustained wind: 315 kph, maximum intensity 895 mbar, gustiness: 378 kph.

📌It was graded as category 5 which is equivalent to super typhoon. Storm signal no. 4 was raised all over the provinces of Leyte and Samar to name a few.

My story:

November 7, 2013

Haiyan/Yolanda was 24-hours away from making it’s landfall, the weather was SURPRISINGLY GOOD, it was a sunny day, and people were doing their usual routine despite the warning all over the news that it was already signal no. 3 here in our province. A lot of people underestimated the typhoon and thought that it wasn’t strong, because really, it was just like an ordinary day.

On the night of November 7, 2013

PAG-ASA, raised storm warning signal no. 4 all over the provinces of Leyte and Samar, and showed a satellite image of the typhoon that was about to hit the country, it was huge, so huge that it almost covered the entire Philippines. Reporters were blabbing endlessly about storm surges which they by the way FAILED to explain what that was to the viewers. So most of us didn’t know what the fuck storm surge was. The odd thing was that night, it was peaceful despite the fact that Tacloban City was already under signal number 4. My dad managed to buy a few supplies but it was only enough for a few days, never did it come across our minds that it would last for months.

November 8, 2013

I woke up at around 4am, Haiyan/Yolanda started to wreck havoc. I could hear the rustling sound of the trees due to strong wind. We were listening to the radio and checking PAG-ASA’s (our weather center) website for the latest updates about the typhoon. By 6am, power supply was cut off, heavy rain started hitting on every rooftops, and all over the streets of Tacloban, we were supposed to have breakfast at around 7am when the weather worsened. Rain got heavier, wind got stronger. Drops and drops of rain leaked from the roof and the windows of our house (our windows were made of jalousies and wooden frames that time). Two hours later, our house was already soaked–inside and out. Our floor was flooded, our furnitures, our feet, even our food were soaked in rain water. The scary part? Heavy rain and strong wind combined. The wind was so horribly strong that we felt our house was literally shaking, like it was being uprooted in a forceful, brutal way. And you can actually hear that buzzing sound like that of an airplane that’s about to take off, that’s what the wind sounded like. Outside, everything was white, we could barely see anything but pure white. But we could hear debris flying everywhere, trees being uprooted and whatnot. It was scary because we were all inside the house, we were all wet and our house could be destroyed any moment. We were all huddled in what we thought was the sturdiest part of the house, watching, waiting what will happen next. We were all worried and scared, if this continues our house will fall in ruins and we’re all gonna die inside. Going outside wasn’t a good idea either, aside from the fact that it was flooded, as I’ve mentioned, we could see nothing but white (fog? Whatever that was) which was much more dangerous and would only increase our chance to come face to face with the grim reaper. I felt so helpless, I don’t know what to do, we don’t know what to do. We were trying to keep calm but deep inside we were really scared. Finally, stress got into my nerves that I started to freak out and break down. It was really hopeless, but my mom told me to quit bawling and pray. So I did, I prayed for this stupid rain to stop, I prayed for this wind to stop howling. I prayed for our safety. I just wanted it to stop! The agony lasted for hours.

The storm subsided that afternoon, we were all so stressed that we didn’t feel hunger or even thought about eating. So yeah, we skipped two meals that day and it’s not like we had the appetite to eat anything. We started wiping off the floor with the least damp cloth we could find, we cleared our front yard–getting rid of the tree branches and even our neighbor’s roof (yes, the roof) that was blown by the wind. Thank God our house was only partially damaged, our gate was torn down, some of the windows got broken, but the rest of the house was fine.

Night fell, we were all tired, so after dinner we went to sleep. We all slept on the floor since our beds were wet. It was still drizzling, with occasional lightning but the weather that time was much better compared with the weather earlier. Later that night, we heard our neighbor shouting and banging at our gate. He was telling us something but it took awhile for us to process, he warned us about a tsunami that was about to hit the city and everyone in our barangay started evacuating on higher grounds. We live far from the coastal area but maybe a few meters away from the mountain side, so without thinking further (I mean wtf?! We were tired and groggy and we just experienced the wrath of the strongest typhoon ever recorded, then all of a sudden someone would be yelling outside your house telling you about a tsunami coming, would you really have the time to think?) we hurriedly grabbed our flashlights, wrapped my baby nephew with a blanket and just bolted outside the house. Our neighbor led us to a mountain a few meters away from our house where everyone was headed to, yes, we climbed up a freakin’ mountain. It was steep and slippery, and we had two kids (my nephew and niece) with us, could this get any worse? We reached a small damaged chapel (yes, mountains have chapels, and statues of Jesus) and stayed there with a bunch of people for maybe a good twenty or thirty minutes or so, lighting struck every once in a while and it seemed like it was about to rain. While up there, I could barely see the overview of the downtown area, and then I heard a woman talking, saying she lives in Anibong (a barangay located along the coastal line) and a lot of people died because the water suddenly rose, and there was a ship that skidded on the shores where the houses stood. At first I didn’t believe it because in our barangay, I at least haven’t heard of any casualties, maybe it was a message. You see? During Haiyan/Yolanda’s torture, our three-foot statue of Mother Mary fell off the fish pond and to our surprise it stood still in the middle of the pond facing the mountains, it was weird because that statue was made of light materials so it would supposedly float since our pond was kind of deep…well…too deep for a fish pond filled with a bunch of kois plus the water was overflowing because of the rain. Was Mama Mary trying to tell us about it that time? Maybe to some, probably to others, but for a family of Roman Catholics like us, Yes.

It was only then we realized that a tsunami coming wasn’t possible because there was no earthquake (which I am thankful for) and as far as I know tsunamis only occur when there is an earthquake. Another thing, it was about to rain, if it is going to rain as heavy as earlier that day, then there would possibly be a landslide, and we are on the top of a fuckin’ mountain, so we’re still gonna die and the worst part? We died trying to live. So went down the mountains, take note: we were in house clothes and slippers, can a hiker do that? Ha! If you do or if you did let’s give each other a high five. We actually laughed about it the following day.

Mi capacidad de escritura ha mejorado con los años, así como mi baja autoestima y las ganas de dejar el mundo ir.  Hace ya dos años que abandoné este Tumblr, y hace ya dos años que estos sentimientos no son los de verdad. 

Mi blog se ha perdido muchas cosas, como puedo observar. 

En este tiempo, he olvidado, y he vuelto a enamorarme. Esta vez de verdad, profundamente. Esas mariposas que se sienten en la barriga cada vez que ocurre, y ese tremendo sentimiento de deseo para esa persona. Y decir: "Es que le quiero tanto". 

Se me ha olvidado mencionar algo: de quién me enamoré. Me enamoré de mi mejor amigo. Lo sé, la regla de oro, nunca te enamores de tu mejor amigo. Lo hice. 

Me levanté una mañana y descubrí que era él quién tenía que estar a mi lado. El problema fue que él no sintió lo mismo. 

Cuando esa persona a la que quieres, no siente lo mismo, tu corazón comienza a encogerse poco a poco, lentamente, hasta que se queda sin esperanzas, sin fe. Eso me pasó, lloré. Todos hemos llorado por cosas como esta. Lloré porque no sabía qué más podía hacer para gustarle, qué más me hacía falta demostrarle, por qué si estaba con él día a día no sabía valorarlo. Y creía que lo olvidaba, pero es mi debilidad. Mi debilidad hecha realidad, y es que: cuando aparece, aparece, y mi corazón palpitaba de felicidad. 

Llegué a olvidarle. Llegué a hacerlo, a dejar de pensar en él, a dejar de sentir esas tonterías que una siente. Llegué a hacerlo, pero no duró demasiado. Mi debilidad decidió convertirme en la suya, y las cosas fueron encendiéndose. El problema, es que tan rápido como se encendieron, se apagaron, sin más. Él dejó de tenerme como su debilidad, para dejarme a mi con el corazón hecho trizas, dos paquetes de pañuelos, y una soledad inminente. Jamás podré perdonarle eso.