āamber hues
2hollis x fem!reader
warnings/tags: friends to lovers, slight angst, jealous reader, drug use (cannabis), alcohol, drunk/high kissing, loving sex, porn with plot, soft dom!hollis, pet names, making out, fingering, oral (f receiving), confessions, fluff, aftercare.
synopsis: you get jealous after Hollis talks to another girl at a party and Hollis makes it up to you.
w/c: 15.4k
The hallway felt quieter than it shouldāve. Music thumped somewhere behind you, distant now, like the walls were absorbing the bass just to let this moment stretch out longer than it should.
You were leaned against the wall, toe of your boot tapping lazy patterns on the hardwood, fingers fiddling with the hem of your top. You werenāt nervousā well maybe a little.
Hollis stood a few feet away, half-turned toward you, half-propped against the opposite wall. Same party, same chaos, but you were somewhere else. Somewhere slower.
His white shirt was tight but soft-looking, collar slightly stretched. His bracelet slid a little when he shifted. Two necklaces hung at his chestāone gold chain, one silver cross. His bleach-blonde hair had dark roots now, curling a bit at the ends. He looked good. Too good. But he always did.
He watched you. Not too directly. Just enough.
āYou always dip from the crowd like that?ā he asked, voice casual. You shrugged. āYouāre the one who left first.ā
āDidnāt think youād follow me.ā
You gave him a look. āWhy wouldnāt I?ā
He laughed, soft and easy. āDunno. Thought maybe you were too cool for hallway conversations.ā
You smirked. āOnly with certain people.ā
āOh yeah?ā He tilted his head slightly, smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. āGuess Iām honored then.ā
You shrugged one shoulder, teasing but careful. āGuess you are.ā
He nudged the back of his head against the wall, gaze sliding over you for a second too long before dropping to his cup.
āSo whatāre we doing?ā he asked lightly.
You blinked. āRight now?ā
āYeah.ā He looked up, lips parted like he was holding back a laugh. āYou just gonna stare at me all night orāā
āYouāre the one who brought me in here.ā
āOkay, true,ā he said, grinning. āBut you stayed.ā
āI always stay.ā
The second you said it, you wished you hadnāt. Not like that.
His expression shifted, just a little. His grip on his cup adjusted. The air pulled tight.
You looked down. He didnāt say anything. Neither did you.
Then, gently, he said, āHey.ā
You glanced back up.
His eyes were softer now, almost warm. āYou good?ā
Your chest fluttered. āYeah. Just thinking.ā
āDangerous,ā he said, mock-serious.
You rolled your eyes, but the smile crept back. āI was justānever mind.ā
He leaned in a little, not touching, not even that close. Just⦠less far. āNah, tell me.ā
You bit the inside of your cheek. āWas just thinking this is nice. Being here. With you.ā
For a second, it was like everything went still. Even the music behind you dipped lower.
Thenā
āIām outta tequila,ā he said suddenly, glancing at his cup like it had done something wrong.
You blinked. āTragic.ā
He smiled, small and crooked. āWant me to grab you something?ā
āNah, Iām good.ā
āCool.ā He hesitated, then added, āStay put, yeah?ā
You nodded. āWhere else would I go?ā
He took a step back, then another. Still looking at you like he was trying to memorize something. Then he said it.
āYou look good tonight, by the way.ā
You blinked. Heart stuttered.
Before you could ask if he meant itāif that was actually what he said he turned, heading down the hallway.
And just as he reached the lightā
That girl showed up.
Crop top, glossy lip, arm already reaching toward him.
He slowed, not stopping. Said something you couldnāt hear.
But he didnāt pull away.
And you? You stayed right where you were, back to the wall, throat tight, telling yourself it didnāt mean anything.
Except it did.
You didnāt mean to look.
You shouldnāt have looked.
But the second she stepped into the hallway lightāglossy and glittering and way too confidentāyour eyes found them like it was instinct.
She touched his arm first.
Just a light reach, all casual smiles and tilted head. The kind of touch girls used when they knew it wouldnāt be brushed off.
Hollis didnāt move away.
He said something low, easy. You couldnāt hear it from where you were, but he smiled, and it was that smile. The lazy, tilted one he gave when he didnāt want to hurt someoneās feelings. Or when he didnāt know what else to do.
She leaned in closer.
You blinked, pulse fluttering weird in your throat. It didnāt mean anything. You knew that. This was his party. People talked. It wasnāt likeā
Her fingers brushed the front of his shirt.
Your chest went tight.
Hollis shifted back a step. Not much. Just enough to set his cup down on the hallway table, hands free now, chain bracelet catching the light. He ran one hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face.
And she laughed.
You didnāt even know what she was laughing at. You didnāt care. You hated it. It made your skin prickle, like the hallway was suddenly too hot. Like maybe you were the one who didnāt belong there after all.
You hadnāt moved. You were still right where he left you leaning against the wall like something out of place. Like a piece of unused furniture.
He still hadnāt looked back.
You swallowed hard, dragging your gaze away. The silence buzzed louder than the music now. Your fingers curled against your side, nails pressing into your palm just to feel something.
God, you were so stupid.
This was exactly why youād never let yourself fall. Why youād kept it light, kept it friendly. One wrong move and everything cracked open.
You could leave. You should leave.
But still, you stayed.
And when you finally looked again, she was still there.
So was he.
But his head had turned. His eyes had flicked up past her shoulder, toward where you were.
Right at you.
Just for a second.
And then?
He looked away.
You didnāt even remember deciding to leave.
One minute you were still in the hallway, your back against the wall, his voice still echoing in your ears like it meant something and then suddenly you were moving. Pushing through the bodies, slipping past people without even looking at their faces.
You didnāt know where your friends were. Roman, Nate, Concealāwho cared.
You just had to get away from that. From him. From the way he looked at you like you were something he wanted, just to turn around and let her touch him like it didnāt mean shit.
You made it outside. The air was cooler, rough against your face. Smokey. Someone was passing a joint and the music was lower out here, but your thoughts were still screaming.
You didnāt ask what was in the cup they handed you. You took it, downed it. Bitter. Whatever. You wanted to feel anything else. You wanted to stop thinking about his laugh. His eyes. The way his breath had hitched when he said your name like it mattered.
You told yourself it was fine.
Itās not like you were together. Itās not like he owed you anything. You never said anything. You let it stay in that weird maybe-space where everything meant something and nothing at all.
Still.
You could feel your face burning, your throat tight. You blinked up at the sky, trying to cool it down, trying to level out.
Didnāt work.
You laughed. It came out too loud. You covered it with another sip, then another. Someone offered you a hit. You took it. Didnāt even hesitate. You didnāt want to cry. You didnāt want to care.
But you did.
God, you did.
You could still feel the way he looked at you in that hallway like he was trying to memorize your mouth.
āYou always sneak people into hallways at your own party?ā
āJust you.ā
His expression softening and him saying āYou look good tonight, by the way.ā
And then⦠that girl.
Her hands on his chest. Her voice probably all syrupy and sweet and familiar. His smile, crooked and soft. The kind of smile that used to feel like it was just for you. Even though he gave you a slightly different one.Ā
You pressed your cup to your lips again. You could barely hear the music anymore. Just your own pulse, hammering behind your ribs.
You stayed there, staring out at the backyard like it had answers. You swayed a little. Felt light-headed. Didnāt care.
Maybe if you drank enough, smoked enough, blurred the edges just right you could stop playing back the look in his eyes.
Or maybe youād still feel it anyway.
The way it held on just a second too long.
Like he knew.
Like he wanted to say something.
Like you almost couldāve been everything.
Almost.
You didnāt even notice Nate until he tapped the back of your hand.
āYo,ā he said gently, like heād been trying to get your attention for a minute. āYou good?ā
You blinked at him. Realized your drink was almost spilling over the rim of the solo cup in your hand, tilted too far as you swayed. You righted it clumsily, then looked up.
They were all out here now. Someone had brought a bottle. Conceal was sitting near the firepit, looking up at the sky giggling like he wasnāt high out of his mind. Roman looked half-asleep, or maybe just bored, arms crossed, his jacket slipping off one shoulder.
āIām fine,ā you mumbled. It came out too fast, too flat. Definitely not convincing.
Nate gave you that look, the one where his mouth quirks like he wants to believe you but absolutely doesnāt. āYou donāt look fine.ā
āIām vibing,ā you said. Shrugged. Took another sip, even though you couldnāt really taste anything anymore.
Your whole body felt too light. Like you werenāt fully in it.
You looked past Nateās shoulder and your eyes caught him.
Hollis.
He was standing just inside the sliding glass door, the girl still attached to his arm like she lived there. She had her mouth near his ear, saying something. You couldnāt hear it, but he laughed. Tipped his head back, all pretty teeth and tired eyes.
You froze.
That laugh. You knew that laugh. It used to be yours.
Your stomach twisted, your mouth suddenly dry despite how much youād just drank. You dropped your gaze, but your brain didnāt stop replaying it; her hand on his chest. His smile. The way he didnāt move away.
āHey,ā Roman said, nudging you lightly with his elbow. āYouāre staring.ā
You swallowed hard. āI wasnāt.ā
You looked down at your shoes. Tried to focus on the way your boots dug into the grass. On the warmth spreading up your neck that wasnāt from the liquor.
āIām chill,ā you said again. āIām so chill.ā
Roman snorted. āYouāre lit.ā
You crack a smile, but it doesnāt quite hold.
āYouāre lit,ā Roman said again, like it explained everything.
You let the corners of your mouth pull up, barely. āThat obvious?ā
āJust a little,ā Nate said, sitting closer now. āLike⦠your whole soul left your body for a sec.ā
āIām still here,ā you said, though you werenāt totally sure that was true.
Conceal let out a loud, happy sigh from across the yard. āThe stars are insane right now.ā
āBro, youāre looking at a streetlamp,ā Roman muttered.
āThatās not a streetlamp,ā Conceal said dreamily. āThatās God.ā
Nate snorted. You almost laughed tooā almost. But then you glanced back toward the house, and your stomach did that traitorās twist again. The girl was gone now. Just Hollis, leaning against a doorframe, drink in hand, staring out into the dark like he was waiting for something to happen.
He looked beautiful. Effortless. Like he always did when you werenāt supposed to be looking.
You dropped your eyes fast.
Nate noticed.
He didnāt say anything at firstājust stretched his legs out in front of him and tapped the rim of his cup, like he was thinking through what to say.
Then: āYou know he wasnāt into that, right?ā
You looked up. āWhat?ā
āThe girl. Inside.ā
āI donāt care,ā you lied.
Roman raised a brow. āOkay.ā
āI donāt.ā
Nate looked at you againāreally looked. āYou know how I can tell youāre lying?ā
You didnāt answer.
āBecause you care so much youāre trying to drink your feelings off the planet.ā
Your chest tightened. You pressed your cup against your lips and didnāt sip.
āHe didnāt even want to be in that conversation,ā Nate continued, quieter now. āHe was nodding, but not really hearing her. He kept checking the yard. Looking out here.ā
Roman hummed. āHe always looks for you first.ā
āStop,ā you said, too fast.
āWeāre just saying,ā Nate said. āItās not one-sided.ā
You shook your head. āYou donāt know that.ā
Roman scoffed. āCome on. You think we donāt see the way he watches you?ā
You opened your mouth. Closed it.
āEvery time you walk in a room, he straightens up,ā Nate said. āHe changes.ā
āItās not that deep,ā you said quietly.
āMaybe not to you,ā Roman said. āBut to him?ā
You looked down again, tracing the edge of your cup with your thumb.
Then Nate leaned in, like he was about to tell you something he wasnāt sure he should say.
āHey. You know he probably likes you, right?ā
It landed like a drop in still water. Small, but impossible to ignore.
You blinked. āWhat?ā
āDeadass,ā Roman said, like it was obvious. āWeāre not just talking shit.ā
You didnāt know what to say. It felt dangerous, hearing it out loud. Real.
āI mean,ā Nate went on, āweāre not him. We canāt say it with, like, proof. But we see the way he is around you. Itās different.ā
You tried to laugh. āHeās like that with everyone.ā
āNo,ā Roman said. āHeās not.ā
āHe gives you his charger,ā Nate offered. āThatās intimate.ā
You rolled your eyes. āYouāre reaching.ā
āHe also said you looked like a dream one time,ā Roman added. āThat wasnāt a reach. That was out loud. I was there.ā
You flushed. āHe was probably high.ā
āHe wasnāt,ā Roman said, serious now. āHe wasnāt even on anything that night, Just sat next to you for, like, two hours pretending to scroll.
You stared at the firepit. At Conceal, still humming to himself in another universe. At Nateās hand resting casually next to yours.Ā
āHe doesnāt even like sitting still,ā Nate added. āUnless itās with you.ā
You shook your head slowly. āThat doesnāt meanāā
āBro,ā Roman cut in. āHe gave you his hoodie like twice. And not even in a āhere, take itā way. Like motherfucker just put it on you and walked away.ā
Nate nodded, grinning. āHe said it ālooked better on you anyway.āā
You blinked. You remembered that. The weight of it on your shoulders. The smell. But youād told yourself he was just being friendly, cold, tired. Literally anything but what your heart wanted it to be.
āAnd you know he keeps that tiger keychain on his backpack now?ā Nate said. āHe hated it when Conceal gave it to him. Called it ācorny.ā But then you said it was cute and suddenly heās a fan.ā
Roman laughed. āHe called it a āsentimental objectā the other day.ā
You snorted, unable to help it. āYou guys are delusional.ā
āOkay,ā Nate said, leaning back on his elbows, casual. āBut when you wore your hair up that one day, he stared so long I had to ask him if he was still breathing.ā
āHe tripped walking down the stairs,ā Roman added. āI mean literally missed a step.ā
You looked between them, heat rising in your face. āYouāre making this up.ā
āWe donāt have to,ā Nate said. āHeās so obvious itās painful.ā
āHe only dry texts almost everyone else,ā Roman said. āYou? Paragraphs. Actual conversation.ā
āAnd he laughs at all your jokes,ā Nate said, matter-of-fact. āEven the ones that bomb.ā
āEspecially the ones that bomb,ā Roman said, cracking a grin.
You bit the inside of your cheek. āWhy wouldnāt he just say something?ā
Nate shrugged. āThatās Hollis. Heād rather light himself on fire than admit he caught feelings first.ā
Roman nodded. āHe probably thinks heās being subtle. Heās not.ā
You looked toward the sliding glass door again.
He wasnāt there anymore. Just the faint reflection of string lights in the glass, and your own face staring backāflushed, breath shallow, heart starting to beat just a little louder.
āYou think heās waiting for me to say it?ā you asked.
Nate didnāt even hesitate. āI think heās been hoping for that since the first night you sat next to him and didnāt look away.ā
You huffed a laugh and looked down again, but this time, your smile didnāt fade. You sat with it for a second. That word āprobablyā echoed weird in your head. Like it didnāt land all the way, just floated there. Buzzing next to everything else.
The smoke in your lungs hadnāt really cleared. You could still feel it sitting heavy in your chest, mixing with the alcohol in your bloodstream and the noise in your head. Everything felt a little warped, edges too soft, light too sharp. Like you were watching the party through a window instead of actually living it.
You pushed yourself up slowly. The grass shifted under your boots. āThanks,ā you muttered, not really sure what you were thanking them for. Just⦠the honesty maybe.
Nate gave you a little nod.
āWeāre always right here,ā he said.
Conceal, still slumped back in the chair, blinked slow like a cat. āSheās moving like sheās dreaming.ā
You glanced at him, the tiniest smile tugging at your mouth.Ā
You turned toward the house. Everything swayed for a second, not in a scary wayājust like gravity forgot what it was doing.
Inside, the warmth hit harder than you expected. It smelled like too many bodies and leftover smoke. People drifted around like ghosts. The music had dulled to a heartbeat in the walls.
You weaved through them, silent. The house felt too full and too empty all at once. You werenāt even sure where you were going, just knew you didnāt want to be watched.
You ended up in a room near the back. The lights were off, but the curtains were open, moonlight pouring across the bed.
You closed the door behind you and sat down, slow, like the bed might disappear if you moved too fast.
Your head buzzed like static. Thoughts flashing in and out, unfinished. You couldnāt latch onto anything for more than a few seconds. Just⦠sensations. Warm palms. The sound of a laugh you used to know too well. The word probably again, echoing like a dare.
You pulled your knees up. Rested your forehead there.
You werenāt gonna cry. Not here. Not like this.
You just needed the room to stop breathing before you could. The room kept shifting under you.
Not like spinning. More like melting. Like the walls were leaning in just a little too far, and the bed dipped weird when you moved, like it was breathing with you. You pressed your forehead harder against your knees and tried to stay still.
Your skin felt too loud. Like every inch of you was buzzing. Not painful, just⦠alert. Overaware. Like your body knew something your brain didnāt.
You couldnāt stop thinking about outside.
The way Nate looked at you.
Romanās voice, flat but certain: āHe wasnāt even on anything.ā
āHe probably likes you.ā
You hated that āprobably.ā
You loved it.
You needed it to be true.
You didnāt believe it for a second.
Your heart beat in your throat. Way too fast.
God, maybe you were gonna puke. No. Cry.
Noājust sit here forever, probably.
You laid back flat on the bed. The ceiling looked unreal. Like someone drew it and forgot to finish shading it in.
You stared at it. Tried to count your breaths. Lost track at two.
Closed your eyes.
His face was there instantly.
Not how he looked tonight, detached, lit by someone elseās glow, but how he used to look at you. At your mouth when you talked too fast. At your hands when you explained things with them. That small, private smile like you were saying something only he could hear.
You remembered the way heād give you his hoodie when you didnāt even ask. The time he took off his chain and handed it to you without a word because you kept playing with it. The way heād laugh at your jokes before you finished them.
You tried to tell yourself none of it meant anything. People are just nice. Boys like him flirt like that with everyone.
But Romanās voice kept echoing.
āHe wasnāt high.ā
āThe way he talks about youāā
You pressed your knuckles into your eyes.
Everything behind your eyelids turned violet and gold and green like fireworks going off underwater.
You werenāt even sure what you wanted anymore.
Just for it to make sense.
For it to stop hurting.
For your chest to stop feeling like it was filling with warm static and fog and grief.
The high made it all worse. Or maybe it just peeled everything back.
No distractions. No jokes. Just raw. Loud. Real.
And you were stuck in it now. Floating.
You rolled onto your side, curled up, and told yourself:
Just five minutes.
Just ride it out.
Just breathe.
But your thoughts didnāt slow down.
They just circled.
And he was in every single one of them.
The buzzing started faint.
At first you thought it was part of the high. Just another layer of vibration under your skin, like the bedframe humming or your heart thumping too loud. But then it happened again short, insistent, too rhythmic to be imagined.
Your phone.
You turned your head. It was facedown on the mattress beside you, lighting up every few seconds like a warning.
You reached for it slowly, like you didnāt fully trust your limbs. Your fingers felt floaty. Detached. You flipped it over, eyes half-lidded, and blinked to make the name come into focus.
It was him.
Hollis.
Just his name on your screenātwice now. One text. One missed call.
Your breath hitched.
The buzzing wouldnāt stop. Your phone kept lighting up where it lay beside you on the bed, screen flashing with missed texts, but the soft whirr in your head made it impossible to focus on any of them. Everything felt a little too loud and too far away at the same time. You were curled up against the headboard, knees pulled into your chest, white off-the-shoulder top slipping lower on one side, fishnets slightly torn at the thigh. You hadnāt even bothered to take off your boots.
Your fingers absently toyed with one of the studs on your belt. Your skin felt electric. Your thoughts spun and then folded in on themselves. The high was way too strong.
The door creaked open.
āHeyā¦ā a quiet voice.
You looked up slow, bleary and there he was.
Hollis.
He stepped halfway into the room like he hadnāt fully decided if he was allowed to be there. His white shirt clung to him just enough to show the shape of his chest when he breathed in, but his jeans hung loose on his hips, belt buckle slightly off-center. You saw the glint of his cross necklace swing as he shifted. He scratched at the back of his neck with his ringed hand, eyes darting around the room before they landed on you.
āOhāuh, sorry,ā he said quickly. āDidnāt know where you were, I wanted to find you.ā
You shook your head slowly, still not speaking. He took a tentative step forward, then another.
āYou alright?ā he asked, voice soft but uncertain.
You didnāt answer.
He stopped near the foot of the bed, squinting a little. You could tell he was trying to read your face, but you were too deep in it. You stared past him, trying to ground yourself. The way his bracelets clicked together when he shifted his weight. The soft crease in his shirt where heād tugged it nervously.
āYou⦠donāt look okay,ā he said, quieter now. āYouādamn. Youāre really high, huh?ā
You nodded, the smallest movement.
āI smoked too much,ā you murmured. āI didnāt mean to.ā
He ran a hand through his hair, like he didnāt know what to do with his body.
āI can take you home,ā he said finally, softer than before. āIf you want.ā
You blinked at him. Tried to swallow. The room swayed a little when you shifted your weight.
āā¦Yeah,ā you said. āI wanna go home.ā
Hollis gave one quick nod and moved to your side. You didnāt even realize youād started swaying until his hand touched your back. Just enough pressure to keep you steady.
He didnāt speak when you leaned into him. Just exhaled slowly through his nose and guided you gently out of the room.
The hallway felt miles long.
You tried not to think about the way his body brushed yours every few steps. The way he slightly swayed just as you did. The way his palm stayed steady and warm on your lower back. The way he smelled like tequila and cologne and something smokier underneathālike firewood or weed.
You were too cross-faded to look at him properly. Too overwhelmed by the sound of his breath, the press of his side against yours, the way every touch felt heavier than it should.
He didnāt say anythingājust let you lean on him. Let you drift in that floaty, flickering space between too much and not enough. You were walking, barely, but it felt more like falling.
The stairs felt like they went on forever.
Downstairs, the living room buzzed with lights and static and laughter layered over bass. Someone spilled something. Someone was singing off-key. A haze of smoke curled at the ceiling like it was part of the architecture.
Nate looked up from the couch as you appeared with Hollis still at your side.
āShe good?ā he called, half-laughing, half-concerned.
āSheās leaving,ā Hollis said, voice just a little slurred. Not carelessājust loose. āWe all are.ā
āWhat?ā Roman turned, blinking. He had one arm under Conceal, who was slipping sideways in his hoodie. āWaitāheāsādude, he canāt even stand.ā
āIām standing right now,ā Conceal mumbled.
āYouāre leaning on me,ā Roman muttered.
Hollis didnāt even pause. Just curled his arm tighter around you, like that settled it.
āShe doesnāt wanna be here anymore,ā he said, more to you than to them. āSo weāre not here anymore.ā
You didnāt even respond, just leaned heavier into his side, eyes glazed and faraway, letting your fingers twist in the frayed hem of his shirt like it was a tether.
āBro, youāre not evenāā Roman started again, but then stopped. Looked at your face. Looked at Hollisās. Something in his jaw shifted.
āIām getting the car,ā Nate cut in. He was already fishing his keys from his back pocket, jaw tight, the only one who hadnāt fully drowned in the night.
Roman exhaled. āFine. Weāre all going?ā
āWeāre all going,ā Hollis echoed softly, already walking you toward the door.
You let him guide you down the porch steps, one careful hand steadying you, but you kept your face turned away, gaze fixed on the curb where Nateās headlights had just flared. The night air bit your skin through the thin fabric of your outfit, and somewhere behind you, Conceal was still humming something tuneless to himself, way off-key.
Hollis didnāt try to talk. Just walked beside you, his grip gentle but persistent like he was afraid if he let go, youād evaporate.
Nate was already pulling the car around by the curbābless him, totally stone-faced, dealing with everyone like this was normal. Conceal was dragging his feet like a ghost and half-singing something from the back porch.
You didnāt say a word as you slid into the backseat straight to the window. Cool glass. Night air. You felt light and heavy at the same time. Crossfaded and overstimulated. Half-pissed, half-gone. Eyes a little too glassy. Everything smelled like sweat, firewood, weed and someoneās cheap perfume.
Hollis flopped in beside you, loose and warm, smelling like the party. His jeans brushed your thigh. You didnāt move.
Conceal got in after him and let the door slam shut. The whole car shuddered. Nate started driving. Roman was already in the passenger seat, cracking his knuckles and scrolling through someoneās story.
For a few seconds, no one said anything.
Then Hollis tilted his head toward you, voice low and syrupy. āYou mad at me?ā
You didnāt answer.
He rubbed his face, leaned back with a sigh, then forward again. āOkay, but likeāI wasnāt into her. At all.ā
You kept your eyes on the streetlights whipping past.
āShe was talkinā to herself,ā he muttered. āI didnāt even know she was touchinā me ātil it was already happening.ā
Conceal coughed a laugh. āBro looked like he was being held hostage.ā
āShe called you Holland, didnāt she?ā Roman added, turning halfway around. āLike fully committed to the bit.ā
Nate didnāt take his eyes off the road. āy/n, I saw the whole thing. Man looked like he was tryinā to leave the whole time.ā
You gave them all a look but didnāt say anything. Just crossed your arms and leaned a little closer to the window.
āShe was loud,ā Hollis added, his voice quieter now, slurred at the edges. āLike she talked like a TikTok shop ad.ā
āShe talked like someone whoās never had to fight for her life,ā Conceal muttered.
Roman nodded solemnly. āNo survival instinct.ā
āOkay, but like I didnāt do anything,ā Hollis mumbled. His head fell back against the seat with a soft thud. āI didnāt want her. I was just stuck.ā
You glanced at him. He looked tired. Flushed. Eyes heavy, shirt collar wrinkled, necklaces tangled a little at his throat. There was a smudge of something on his cheekāmaybe the eyeliner or eyeshadow that you helped him with earlier.
āI kept thinkinā about where you went,ā he said, eyes half-closed. āI was tryna find you.ā
You didnāt respond. He looked high.Ā
The guys didnāt say anything either.
The car hummed through the dark, streetlights flickering across Hollisās face in slow pulses. His knee stayed pressed to yours the whole time. You didnāt pull away. But you didnāt move closer either.
He didnāt press it. Just leaned his head back, one hand resting on his thigh, the other hanging loose between his knees, and breathed out like maybe he already said too much. You kept your head turned toward the window, but your eyes didnāt leave him.
He looked like the night had wrung him out, like whatever high heād chased had left him soft and open and just a little out of sync with himself. His legs were spread lazily, the denim at his knees creased and bunched from sitting. His fingers twitched now and then, restless, dragging over the hem of his shirt like he wasnāt fully aware he was doing it.
The side of his neck was flushed pink, collarbone just barely visible under the loose, stretched fabric of his tee. His hair had fallen into his face again, but he didnāt push it back this time. He just sat there. Breathing like the air was too thick.
You stared at the little smudge near his eye. The kohl rubbed halfway off, it made him look a little more off it.
He shifted slightly, his knee bumping yours again. Still didnāt move.
From the passenger seat, Roman yawned, loud, theatrical, arms stretched toward the roof of the car. āMan, we shouldāve just left you both alone in the kitchen and let this whole thing explode earlier.ā
Conceal snorted, low and sleepy. āYeah, wouldāve saved us the rerun in the car.ā
Hollis didnāt look at them. He just blinked slow, let out a little breath, and tilted his face toward you, not quite looking, but facing you like he was hoping youād turn.
You didnāt. But your eyes flicked to him again, slow and warm and unreadable.
āI didnāt wanna be near her,ā he said again, this time quieter, almost more to himself. āNot when I didnāt know where you went.ā
You watched the line of his jaw shift, clench, then relax.
āYou keep saying that,ā you said, voice low.
He nodded, like he didnāt expect it to be enough. Like he knew he didnāt have anything better to offer. āāCause itās true.ā
The silence stretched again, and this time, it wasnāt awkward. Just thick. Charged. The kind that made your heartbeat feel louder in your ears.
Nate adjusted the volume on the speaker, and a new song slid in, dreamy synths and soft drums. Something woozy, underwater. It filled the space where words shouldāve gone.
The windows fogged just slightly at the edges. Your knees were still touching. Neither of you looked away.
The music softened even more, like it knew not to interrupt.
āIām so dead,ā Roman murmured from the passenger seat, voice gravelly. āIām not even gonna make it up my stairs.ā
Conceal yawned into his hoodie. āLetās just go to Hollisā .ā
Nobody argued.
Not even Nate, who only sighed through his nose and nodded, turning the wheel like the decision had already been made. āSay less.ā
You didnāt say anything either.
But you didnāt need to.
It wasnāt like you hadnāt crashed there before. After late-night studio sessions, after group hangs that bled into morning. His place had always been the safe landing spot. The gravity center. Dimly lit, smelling faintly like incense and something citrusy-clean. That one lamp in the corner. His record player. The couch youād accidentally fallen asleep on more than once.
You just glanced at Hollisābarelyāand caught him doing the same.
He didnāt speak, just held the eye contact for a beat too long before looking down at his lap. His hand twitched like he was going to reach for something, maybe you, but didnāt.
Instead, his knee stayed firm against yours. Yes. Continuing with that heavy-lidded, electric quiet. You werenāt just looking at him, you were absorbing every inch like youāre afraid youāll forget how he looks if you blink.
The silence held, heavy as breath.
You let yourself look at him this time. Really look.
Hollisās head was tilted slightly toward the window, but his eyes, half-lidded and glassy, were still angled your way. Like he was pretending not to look, too. His lashes were longer than they shouldāve been. His skin flushed, not just from the heat of the car, but something deeper. Softer. The kind of flush that came after a second drink, or after saying something you werenāt sure was safe.
The eyeliner under both eyes had smudged. A faint black shadow bleeding toward his cheekbone. His lips were parted, just barely, like he was mid-thought or mid-breath. You thought you could still see the faint crease where a cigarette had rested earlier between them.
There was ash on his shirt. Or maybe it was lint. You didnāt care. You didnāt stop looking.
His necklaces had tangled, silver cross caught against the gold cross, glinting every time the car passed under another streetlight. The collar of his shirt was pushed a little off-center, exposing the soft dip of his collarbone,
He looked ruined in a quiet way.
Not messy. Just⦠undone.
His fingers twitched where they rested near his thigh. Not drumming. Not fidgeting. Just there, like he was holding something invisible. Like he was trying not to reach.
Your knees stayed pressed together.
You hadnāt moved in miles.
He blinked slow, like the air was thick, like it took effort. And then his lips parted again.
But he didnāt say anything.
Didnāt need to.
Another streetlight passed. His face flickered a golden glow, then disappeared again.
The music drifted on in the background, still low. Still dreamy.
And you kept looking at him like you were memorizing.
Because maybe you were.
The car slowed.
Gravel crackled under the tires as Nate eased up the driveway, the soft glow of the porch light blinking on like it had been expecting you. It cast everything in that sleepy, amber hue, the railings, the cracked pavement, the dust in the California air like it was part of the atmosphere.
The engine shut off, and for a moment, nobody moved.
Roman finally groaned and shoved his door open, stumbling out with a stretch that made his shirt ride up. Conceal followed, hoodie half over his face, already muttering something about crashing in the guest room. Nate grabbed his phone charger from the center console, sighing through his nose.
You reached for the door handle a beat later, slower, limbs a little syrupy, and pushed the door open. The air outside felt colder than it shouldāve. You blinked at the shift in gravity as your feet hit the ground.
And then the sidewalk tilted.
Not actually, but it felt like it did.
Your ankle wobbled, balance slipping fast. The ground surged up toward.
But a hand grabbed your arm. Firm. Warm.
You stumbled forward right into Hollisā chest.
āWhoaāwhoa, hey,ā he said, low and a little slurred, but steady. Both arms wrapped around you automatically. His shirt smelled like citrus, weed, maybe lemon, and whatever detergent he used. His chin nearly bumped your forehead.
You froze. So did he.
His hands didnāt drop right away. One lingered lightly against your back, the other still curled around your forearm like he wasnāt entirely convinced you wouldnāt fall again.
And he looked down at you, eyes glassy, half-lidded, a little red-rimmed, but focused. On you. Only you.
āYou good?ā he asked, quieter now. Like it was just the two of you. Voice thick. Rough. That whipped concern bleeding through even under the haze.
You nodded.
Didnāt say anything.
Couldnāt, really.
He still didnāt let go for a second too long. Then, finally, slowly, his hands dropped. His fingers brushed your skin as they did, like he hadnāt meant to but wasnāt sorry.
You steadied yourself, heart tapping fast in your chest. He watched you the whole time.
The others were already inside. Nate held the door open with one foot, not looking back.
But Hollis did.
Still half-turned toward you, like catching you had shifted something. Like maybe he was scared to let it drop again.
You didnāt move for a second.
Just stood there, your arm still tingling where his hand had been. His chest was close, too close for your brain to work properly. The porch light cast a soft halo over his hair, catching on the curve of his jaw, the slight sheen on his cheekbone. You could still feel the weight of his grip in your waist, like your body didnāt want to forget it.
He didnāt say anything, just waited for you to find your balance. Then, quietly, āCāmon.ā
The front door shut behind you with a low thud, and everything inside the house felt dim and warm and a little sideways.
Roman was already pulling off his jacket mid-yawn, stumbling half-blind toward the hallway. Conceal didnāt even look up, just wandered in the same direction, hoodie half-on, mumbling something like, Iām claiming the left bed or Iāll start throwing elbows. Nate trailed behind,Ā
bottle of water in hand. No questions asked. No discussion needed.
They all filed into the usual room, the one with the two beds, threadbare comforters, and lopsided blinds. Their default crash site.
You hung back, still by the entryway, gripping the edge of the counter like the ground was made of ocean.
You were pretty drunk, that dizzy-soft feeling in between mixed with the high, not full float, just enough to make everything feel a little slower. Floaty. Muffled. Like your heartbeat echoed too loud in your chest.
You didnāt move. You were holding your phone and you forgot why.
āHey,ā came a low voice behind you.
You turned, slow, drowsy, and Hollis was there.
Leaning against the wall like he couldnāt quite stand straight. Hands in the pockets of those baggy jeans. Bleached hair messy, lips parted slightly like heād just licked them. His eyes were low and glossy, half-lidded, but trained on you with laser focus.
āYou good?ā he asked.
You blinked, processing the question through a fog. Nodded. Then shrugged. āāM not gonna take the couch.ā
It came out quieter than you meant it to. Maybe a little breathier. He tilted his head like he was trying to read more than what youād said.
āYou want my room?ā
You blinked again.
āI mean⦠you can have it,ā he added. āI donāt care. You shouldnāt have to sleep out here likeā.ā
You cracked a tired smile. āWhere would you sleep?ā
He scratched the back of his neck. āI dunno. Floor. Hammock. Your feet.ā
You scoffed. āHammock?ā
His eyes lit just barely. āYou know I got one. Itās real.ā
You took another slow breath. The room tilted just slightly. You hadnāt realized how close he was until he shifted, his knee bumping lightly against yours, like the car all over again. He didnāt move away.
āIām not kicking you out of your bed,ā you said, voice lazy with warmth.
He squinted a little, like your words were running through his brain on a delay. Then he shook his head.
āNah,ā he said, softer. āI just⦠I want you to be good. Sleep good. Thatās all.ā
There was a weird tension in his jaw when he said it. Not bad tension. Just⦠effort. Like he meant it a little too much and didnāt wanna show it.
You didnāt say anything right away. You were too busy staring.
The way his lashes cast little shadows under the hallway light. The way his chains caught in the collar of his shirt. The faint crease in his brow like he was thinking too hard. He looked tired, and also high, but there was something else behind it. That softness again. The one that made everything in you warm up.
āOkay,ā you said finally, like it wasnāt a big deal.
But it was.
And you both knew it.
He blinked slow. Like he hadnāt expected you to say yes. Or maybe he had, maybe he hoped you would, but now that you had, he didnāt quite know what to do with himself.
He scratched at his neck again, then turned on his heel and nodded for you to follow. You trailed behind, your socks sliding a little on the hardwood, your fishnets brushing your inner thighs.
The house was so quiet now, the only sounds the creak of the floorboards and the low whir of the fridge in the kitchen. Everything smelled like incense, sandalwood and something citrusy, like his room always did. You realized your body was moving mostly on autopilot, swayed half by gravity, half by how warm your skin still felt from his voice, his eyes.
He pushed open his bedroom door with one hand, holding it just wide enough for you to slip past.
He shut the door gently, almost too gently, like he didnāt want to startle you. He didnāt speak at first. The overhead light was off, just the lamp by the bed glowing amber and soft, catching the angles of his face as he toed off his boots.
You just stood there. Arms crossed.
āI wasnāt even doing anything,ā he mumbled after a second, more to himself than to you. āThey were just messing around. You know how they get.ā
You raised an eyebrow.
He finally looked at you, eyes a little red, glassy. His voice slower, softer than usual. āWhat?ā
You didnāt answer.
āYouāre mad.ā
You gave him a look. āNo shit.ā
He let out a breath and dragged a hand through his hair, stumbling just a little from the effort. Crossfaded almost just as much as you, clearly, but still trying to seem chill.
āI already told them it wasnāt like that,ā he said. āThat girl⦠whatever her name was. I wasnāt into her. I didnāt even know she was there until she started laughing likeā like in my ear.ā
āCool,ā you said flatly. āSo you let her stay there anyway?ā
His jaw tensed. āNo, Iāā He cut himself off, shaking his head. āI was looking for you, literally the whole time. You disappeared.ā
You looked away.
The room was suddenly too still. The tension between you hung like a thick rope.
āI noticed right after you left,ā he added, quieter now. āRoman was like, āBro, you fucked up,ā and I didnāt even know what he meant.ā
He paused, watching your face. You didnāt give him much.
āBut then I saw like you were compleatly gone.ā
Still nothing.
He stepped a little closer.
āI didnāt want her touching me,ā he said, voice low and rough. āI didnāt want anyone touching me except you.ā
Your eyes flicked back to himāfast, but he caught it.
The look on his face shifted slightly. āYou think Iām lying, y/n?ā
You shrugged. āI think you like the attention.ā
āI donāt,ā he said immediately.
You gave him a look like sure you donāt.
āI like yours.ā he added.
That made you pause.
The silence after that was heavy buzzing like your ears were ringing.
He stepped even closer, standing right in front of you now. Not touching you, but close enough that you could feel his body heat under the scent of weed and cheap tequila.
āLook,ā he said, voice hushed, like he couldnāt say it louder even if he wanted to. āI donāt know how to do this shit right. Especially with you. I get nervous, and I try to act cool, and it always comes out stupid.ā
You blinked slowly.
āI didnāt mean to make you feel like that,ā he said, and this time, it sounded real. Like an actual apology. āYou looked sad. And mad. And I didnāt know how to fix it.ā
Your throat was tight.
He was still watching you like he was trying to memorize your face.
āI just keep hoping⦠I donāt know. That youāll forgive me long enough to maybe⦠stay.ā
You blinked again.
āTonight,ā he added, softer. āJustā stay. Please. Donāt be mad.ā
You didnāt move for a long moment.
Ā But then you kicked your boots off where his were.
Hollis exhaled, like he hadnāt realized he was holding his breath.
You didnāt say yes.
You didnāt have to.
The lamp flickered as you stepped toward the bed.
But you paused when he gently caught your wrist.
āWait,ā Hollis murmured, eyes a little glassy, voice rough. āYou should shower first. Youāll feel better.ā
You hesitated, heart knocking in your chest. He wasnāt wrongāyou felt sticky with sweat and smoke and the heaviness of the night.
āIāll find you something to wear,ā he added, already turning toward the small dresser in the corner of the room. You watched him dig through it, muttering to himself until he emerged with a folded shirt and a pair of boxers. āThis okay?ā
You nodded.
The bathroom light clicked on, harsh and fluorescent compared to the low amber of the bedroom. You stepped inside, and just before the door shut behind you, you caught Hollis dragging a hand through his hair like he needed to steady himself.
The water was hot and a little too steamy, but it scrubbed away the chill, the fog, the smoke still clinging to your skin. You breathed in, let it rinse over your shoulders. Tried not to think about the way heād looked at youālike he really didnāt want anyone else.
When you stepped out, the clothes were soft and worn-in, his scent still clinging to them: that vaguely citrus-clean smell, incense, something boyish and warm underneath it all. The shirt was too big, boxers even bigger, but they fit in that cozy way.
You opened the door, towel still draped around your shoulders, hair damp. Hollis looked up from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed. His eyes dragged over you, slow and unreadable, but he didnāt say anything.
āYour turn,ā you said quietly.
He nodded, brushing past you with a low āThanks,ā fingers accidentally grazing your arm as he went. Your skin sparked.
You sat on the bed in the dim light, still high enough to feel like everything was dreamlike and a little slow. The sound of the shower starting again only made it worse, you could also hear the other guys laughing across the house over some reel Nate showed them, better.
You didnāt know how long he was in there. Five minutes? Ten? You were curled on your side by the time the door creaked again, the bathroom light spilling out for a second before vanishing.
He stood there in the doorway, damp hair curling at his neck. He wore clean clothes too, sweats, a plain white t shirt, but the glow in the room made him look an ethereal golden. Soft.
You looked up.
His eyes met yours.
He swallowed. āYou okay?ā
You nodded.
He moved to the bed slowly, carefully, like he didnāt want to spook you. When he sat, he didnāt lay down right away, just rested back on his hands and looked at the ceiling like he needed to say something but couldnāt figure out how.
You didnāt say anything either.
The silence curled around you again, thick and electric. You could still feel the alcohol in your bloodstream, the weed in your lungs. But under it was something softer. Clearer. Like you were seeing each other for the first time after months of pretending not to look.
He finally turned toward you again, face unreadable. āYour staying here?ā
You didnāt respond.
āRight?ā he said softer, almost barley audible.Ā
You lifted the edge of the blanket and moved over a little.
He blinked.
Then nodded once.
He slid under the covers beside you, careful again, like you were glass. But you werenāt not tonight. You felt fragile and angry and somehow still desperate for him.
For this.
He shifted onto his side to face you, the bedsheets rustling between you. Your noses were maybe six inches apart.
You both just lay there. Breathing.
āI know you donāt believe me,ā he said finally, voice low, careful. āBut I didnāt want her.ā
Your jaw clenched, but you didnāt say anything.
āI was looking for you. The whole night. And then you were just⦠gone.ā
You stared at the ceiling.
āI messed up,ā he added. āAnd Iām not good at saying shit right, but that doesnāt mean I donāt feel it.ā
You blinked slowly.
āI felt you leave,ā he said. āLike actually. Like it changed the air or some shit.ā
That made your eyes cut toward himājust barely, but he saw it.
His voice stayed quiet, like he was afraid to scare you off. āItās not fun without you. The attention, the parties, the noise. None of it feels right unless youāre there, y/n.ā
āYouāre being dramatic,ā you muttered.
He gave a weak huff. āYeah. Probably. I get that way around you.ā
That stung a little, because you knew it was true. He was different with you. Softer. Weirder. Realer.
āYou looked so mad,ā he said. āLike you didnāt even wanna look at me.ā
You turned your face toward him fully now.Ā
āI didnāt,ā you admitted. āI still kind of donāt.ā
He nodded like he deserved that. āFair.ā
Another long silence.
āIām trying,ā he said, so quiet you almost missed it. āI donāt always know how, but Iām trying.ā
You were staring at his mouth now. The words sat there. Soft. Honest. Scared.
āWhy?ā you asked, and your voice came out smaller than you meant it to.
His brows knit slightly, his eyes flickered down at your lips and he shook his head a little. āWhy what?ā
āWhy are you trying?ā You swallowed hard. āWhy does it matter?ā
Hollis stared at you for a long moment. So long you almost pulled the question back.
But then he said, āBecause itās you.ā
The breath caught in your throat.
āI like you, y/n,ā he whispered, voice almost shaking. āLike⦠I like you. And it scares the shit out of me.ā
You blinked.
āBecause I mess things up,ā he said. āAnd I donāt wanna mess this up.ā
The lamp buzzed faintly. A car passed outside. The bed creaked slightly as one of you shifted closerāyou werenāt sure who. The air between you had thickened, dense with something unspoken and magnetic. You could feel the warmth of his breath on your lips, and you swore the room had gotten smaller. Or maybe just quieter.
Hollis was watching your face like it held every answer heād ever wanted.
āI donāt wanna mess this up,ā he said again, softer now, like it was a secret.
You blinked at him, breath caught somewhere in your throat. You were pretty sure your heart had stopped beating.
Under the blanket, his hand brushed yours, just barely.
You didnāt flinch. Didnāt pull away.
Instead, you turned your palm up.
He laced his fingers through yours slowly, deliberately, like it meant something. Like it was something.
You didnāt speak. You just looked at him, eyes wide, cheeks warm, breath unsteady.
His head dipped a little closer.
Then stopped.
āI feel like Iām dreaming,ā he whispered.
You swallowed, still cloudy at the edges in slow, syrupy waves. āYouāre not.ā
He was quiet for a beat. Then, even quieter:
āCan I kiss you?ā
Thatās when your breath caught for real.
Your heart skipped and crashed all at once. Your skin flushed, heat blooming everywhere. You nodded before you could even say anything.
āYeah,ā you whispered. āPlease.ā
That was all it took.
He shifted just enough to see your face, brushing your hair back gently, tucking it behind your ear like heād been dying to do it all night. His hand was trembling a little. So was yours.
He leaned in the rest of the way, brushing your nose with his, eyes fluttering shut, and then finally his lips found yours.
His breath touched your lips first, warm and unsteadyāthen the faintest brush of his mouth, so gentle it didnāt even feel real His lips ghosted over yours again, not quite kissing, not quite pulling back. Like he wanted to memorize the shape of the moment before it fully happened. The space between you hummed, charged and soft and fragile. It started slow. Like he didnāt want to scare you off. A soft press, then a pause. Then deeper. Warmer.
Not rushed. Not greedy. Just there. Long and warm and careful, like he wanted to pour all the words he couldnāt say into that single moment. His lips moved slowly with yours, testing, matching your rhythm, like he was trying to listen with his mouth.Ā
Your whole body melted toward him.
You felt his hand tighten gently around yours under the blanket, fingers tangled like a promise. His other hand came up to cradle your face, thumb brushing your cheekbone, as if to anchor you both. Like he needed to feel your heartbeat.
You tasted the faint trace of something sweet from earlier, maybe chocolate or the soda, maybe just him. Your nose bumped his, and he smiled into the kiss, so soft you barely felt it, just the curve of his lips tugging against yours for a second.
Neither of you rushed. Neither of you needed to.
He kissed you like it wasnāt about the kiss at all. Like it was about every other moment that had led up to this one. Every almost. Every glance. Every time heād stayed a little too close.
When you finally pulled apart, it wasnāt even really apart. Just a breathās worth of space between your mouths.
Your forehead pressed lightly to his.
His fingers still wrapped around yours.
You could still feel the warmth of his lips.
And when you opened your eyes, his were already on you.
Like you were the only thing that mattered.
Like he didnāt want to look anywhere else. You didnāt say anything. You didnāt have to.
His gaze dropped to your mouth again. You felt it, like a brushstroke.
And then, so softly you barely caught it, he whispered, āI wanna kiss you again.ā
Your breath hitched again.
And you nodded. Just once.
And that was all it took.
His lips found yours again, slower this time, deeper. Like he was savoring it. Like he was trying to memorize the shape of your mouth, the sound you made when his hand slid up to cup the side of your face.
You kissed him back, leaning in, your fingers tightening in his.
This time there was more urgency, quiet, careful, but undeniable. Like you both had been holding your breath all night and were finally starting to let go.
He tilted his head, deepening the kiss. His nose brushed yours again. His hand slipped from your cheek to the nape of your neck, pulling you just a little closer, and you let him.
Your mouths moved together like youād done this a hundred times, or like youād been waiting to for too long.
A soft noise escaped youāmore of a sigh than a moanāand Hollis swallowed it with his mouth, kissing you like it undid him a little. Like it made him brave and stupid and grateful, all at once.
You didnāt even realize your leg had slipped between his until his breath hitched. But he didnāt stop. Didnāt pull back.
His lips moved slower, then deeper, like he was learning you. Testing the edge of what youād give him.
You gave it.
You parted your lips for him, just a little, and he kissed you like a question first. Tentative. Waiting.
But then his tongue brushed gently against yours, and your whole body went warm.
You sighed into his mouth, and that sound made him press in closer, like he couldnāt help it. His hand slipped from your neck to your jaw, thumb brushing your cheek, holding you steady as his tongue slid over yours again, this time slower, more sure.
You kissed him like you were falling.
He kissed you like he wanted to catch you.
When you finally pulled back to breathe, your lips stayed close, hovering, brushing. Your forehead still resting against his, your lashes fluttering as you tried to calm your heart.
Then you felt it, his nose nuzzling gently along your cheek, his breath warm against your skin. His lips found your jaw, then lower.
You didnāt stop him.
Didnāt want to.
His mouth grazed the line just beneath your ear, and your breath caught. He smiled against your skin, just barely.
āOkay?ā he murmured.
You nodded, already tilting your head for him.
He kissed the side of your neck like he was still asking. Slow. Soft. Warm.
Then again, a little lower. Your fingers curled tighter in his shirt.
When his tongue flicked briefly against the hollow of your throat, you swore you felt the earth tilt.
You didnāt say a word.
But your body said yes, yes, yes.
And Hollis heard every part of it. His mouth dragged slow and warm along your neck, pausing just under your ear. His breath fanned out across your skin, and then, his teeth. A soft bite, followed by the gentle drag of his lips, and then another kiss, deeper this time.
You gasped. A soft moan slipped from your throat before you could stop it, your body trembling, and your hand flew up to your mouth, covering it instinctively. Hollis froze.
Then lifted his head, just barely, just enough to look at you.
Your fingers still hovered over your lips, eyes wide, breath shaky.
A slow, crooked smile touched his face. āNo,ā he whispered, voice low and velvet-rough. āDonāt do that.ā
You tried to look away. Tried to stay quiet.
He leaned closer again, forehead brushing yours. His thumb found your chin, the tip of his nose bumping yours.
āy/n.ā
Your name, like a confession. A command. A plea.
You looked at him, his eyes dark, mouth parted, chest rising too fast.
āI wanna hear you,ā he said softly. āDonāt hide it.ā
āBut what if they hear us?ā You ask, voice slightly shaking.
āThey wonāt. Promise.ā He held your hand that was previously covering your mouth tight. Lacing your fingers together.Ā
You nodded then his mouth was back on your neck, hot, open kisses, another teasing nip, and when you moaned this time, there was no stopping it.
It spilled out of you, soft and breathy and unfiltered, and Hollis groaned like he was the one coming undone.
āFuck, thatās it,ā he muttered against your skin, kissing lower, messier. āYou sound so goodā¦ā
You felt dizzy. Warm. Like you were burning from the inside out.
He kissed you again, your lips this time. Slow. Deep. His tongue brushing yours in soft, languid waves that made your fingers curl in the sheets. Hollis pulled back just enough to breathe, foreheads pressed, both of you flushed and half-smiling, like neither could believe this was actually happening. His hand slid along your hip, palm anchoring there like he needed to feel you grounded beneath him.
āIs this okay?ā he whispered, voice thick with want but careful, so careful.
You nodded, already chasing his mouth again, but he still hesitated.
āI need to hear you say it,ā he murmured against your lips.
You swallowed, heart thudding. āYes,ā you whispered. āItās okay. I want this.ā
That was all it took.
He moved slowly, shifting his weight until he was hovering over you completely, one knee sliding between your legs as his body slotted against yours. His hand slipped under the hem of your shirt, warm fingers trailing up your sides, over your ribs, the dip of your waist, His touch was reverent, almost trembling.
You gasped when his palms reached higher, thumbs brushing just beneath your chest, not groping, just feeling, learning. Your shirt rode up slightly, but he didnāt rush anything. His eyes flicked down to where his hands touched your bare skin, then back up to your face.
āYouāre driving me insane,ā he murmured, and kissed you again, deeper this time.
You whimpered softly into his mouth, your hips shifting beneath his. His hands paused for just a moment, like he needed to steady himself, then one slid up, slow and tentative, fingers slipping under the hem of your shirt. His touch was warm against your bare skin, trailing up your side, higher, untilā
His thumb brushed the curve of your breast.
He stilled instantly.
His forehead leaned into yours, his breath uneven. āCan I?ā he asked, voice barely a whisper. āTouch you like this?ā
You nodded, heat flooding your face. āYeah,ā you breathed. āI want you to.ā
He exhaled softly, almost like he was relieved, and kissed you again, tender, savoring. His hand moved with more confidence now, cupping you carefully, like he didnāt want to overwhelm you. His thumb grazed over your nipple, slow and light, and your back arched instinctively beneath him.
A soft, high moan slipped out of you before you could stop it. Your heart nearly gave out right there.
He kissed you again, slow and deep, tongue brushing yours in lazy, dizzying waves. His free hand rested at your waist, grounding you, while the other teased and explored in slow, reverent circles. Every movement was careful, like he wanted you to feel worshiped.
Then his lips left yours and trailed down your jaw to your neck, soft, wet kisses, followed by the tiniest nip that made your breath stutter.
You whimpered, hips tilting up toward him without thinking.
He groaned softly against your throat, and the sound made your whole body shiver.
āy/n,ā he breathed, like he couldnāt believe you were real. His thumb brushed over your nipple, just once, and you gasped, a soft sound escaping before you could stop it.
He groaned low in his throat, head dipping to your neck again. āYouāre driving me crazy, baby,ā he whispered, voice hoarse.
You barely had time to respond, your body moved on instinct, hips rolling gently up into his without you meaning to.
The contact made you both freeze for a split second.
Then he exhaled sharply, lips parting against your skin. āFuck.ā
His hands flexed against you, both palms sliding up now to fully cradle your chest, massaging gently, like he couldnāt get enough of the way you felt in his hands. His thumbs moved in slow, teasing circles, and your hips rolled againāunconscious, needy.
He felt it.
He felt everything.
āy/n,ā he murmured, mouth brushing your jaw now. āDo you want this?ā
Your answer came as a whisper, breathless and sure. āYes.ā
His lips crashed softly back to yours, hungry but controlled, like heād been holding himself back all this time, and your permission finally let him fall.Ā
āCan I take this off?ā he asked, fingers brushing the hem of your shirt. His voice was so low it barely made it out.Ā
You nodded, but that wasnāt enough. Your hands found his jaw, your thumbs brushing his flushed cheeks. āYes, Hollis. Please. I want you to see me.ā
His breath caught, sharp, pained, reverent. He kissed you once more, softer now, and eased your shirt over your head, his hands gliding along your sides like he needed to feel every inch of skin.
He dropped the shirt behind him, but didnāt look away from you. Couldnāt.
His hands froze for a beat, like he needed a second just to take you in. Then he exhaled, shaky and full of awe, and leaned in to kiss just above your heart. His palms slid over your bare waist, your ribs, your stomach, like he couldnāt believe any of this was real.
āFuck,ā he whispered, voice slightly raspy. āYouāre gonna ruin me.ā
You leaned in, your forehead brushing his, breath mingling. āThen let me.ā You shifted, rocked against the hard line of him, and the groan he let out was guttural.
āYou feel like everything,ā he gasped. āEverything Iāve ever wanted.ā
You whimpered at that, nails grazing the back of his neck. āYouāve been driving me crazy, Hollis. For so long. Every time you looked at me like that⦠touched me like you didnāt mean toā¦ā
āI meant it,ā he said, almost too quickly. āI meant every second.ā
Your lips brushed his jaw, then his throat. āThen show me.ā
āy/n,ā he whispered into your skin. āYouāre perfect.ā
Your fingers threaded through his hair, tugging lightly. āYou donāt have to be careful with me,ā you breathed. āI want all of it. I want you.ā
Then, his mouth was on you again, open and wet and worshipful, trailing from your collarbone down to your sternum, tongue dragging slowly over your skin. When your hips rolled forward against his hardness again, he groaned against your chest.
āFuckāpleaseādo that again,ā he begged. āJust keep moving like that. Iāll do anything.ā
You smiled, eyes half-lidded, and rocked your hips again, slower this time, deliberate.
āYou like that?ā you whispered, teasing and breathless.
He groaned. āYouāre mine,ā he said, like a prayer and a curse. āFinally. Fucking finally.ā
You almost moaned at that feeling yourself getting wetter, you reached for the hem of his shirt, voice soft and shaking. āCā Can I take this off?ā
His mouth curled. āYeah?ā he responded, already lifting his arms for you, gaze never leaving your face. āTake it off.ā
You peeled it off inch by inch, and when it finally dropped to the floor, your breath caught.Ā
His skin was pale but warm, glowing under the dim bedroom light. His chest rose and fell fast, like he was holding back something sharp and deep. His chains caught the light when he leaned down again.
āI canāt believe this is real, your real,ā he breathed.
You kissed the corner of his mouth, then up his jaw, lips trembling. āIt is.ā
His mouth found yours again, hot, open, claiming,
āYou okay?ā he whispered.
You nodded quickly, voice barely there. āYeah. Just⦠a little nervous.ā
His expression melted into something warm, almost reverent. āThatās okay,ā he said, brushing his nose against yours. āI got you baby, weāll go slow. I want slow.ā
āMe too,ā you breathed. āJust donāt stop.ā
His lips touched your neck first, so softly it tickled. Then again, firmer. Then he nibbled, teeth dragging across your skin, his breath hot and ragged. You gasped.
āHollisāā
He groaned softly. āYou sound so fucking pretty y/n,ā he murmured, his voice rasping against your throat.
Another kiss. Then a bite, lower this time. Not rough, but enough to leave something. A mark. A memory.
āYouāre mine,ā he whispered, right into the curve of your neck. āYou know that, right?ā
Your whole body fluttered beneath him. āIāI know. I want to be.ā
That made him pause. Look at you.
āSay it again.ā
You swallowed. āI want to be yours.ā
His mouth curved in a slow, dangerous smile before he dropped another love bite right below your collarbone, then kissed over it like an apology.
Then his mouth kept moving, down your chest, your ribs, the soft skin of your stomach, kissing, nuzzling, biting just enough to make your breath catch. Your fingers found his hair, threading through the long, soft strands.
He looked up at you once, breathless and flushed, chains swaying gently beneath him.
āStill good?ā he asked, his voice low and wrecked.
You nodded, whispering, āIāve never felt this good.ā
His hands slid down your sides until they rested at the waistband of your boxers, his boxers he gave to you to wear. He waited. Silent.
You lifted your hips for him.
āPlease.ā
He didnāt say anything, just pressed a kiss to your navel, then eased the boxers down inch by inch, When they were off, you were left in nothing but your panties, wetness soaking through, legs parted slightly beneath him, skin flushed and glowing.
He sat back a little to look at you, his hands still resting on your thighs. His voice dropped, husky and low:
āFucking angel.ā
Then, slowly, agonizingly slow, he leaned in and started kissing your hips, your lower stomach, the soft place just above the waistband, leaving little bites and open-mouthed kisses, like he couldnāt get enough.
You squirmed gently under him, voice breaking into a whisper: āHollis-ā
āI know, baby,ā he murmured, mouthing just above the waistband. āI know, y/n, Iāve got you.ā
And he didnāt stop kissing you.
He looked up at you then, hair falling across his cheekbones, his dark eyes glinting softly in the lamplight.
āYouāre shaking,ā he whispered.
You hadnāt realized it until he said it, but your whole body was trembling, chest rising fast, fingers curled tight in the sheets beside you, other hand in his hair.Ā
āI want you so bad itās making me stupid,ā you admitted, voice fragile and bare.
That did something to him.
His eyes darkened, jaw flexing, and he leaned back in slowly, hands smoothing up your thighs with such care it made your stomach flip.
āIāve got you,ā he said again, gentler this time. āIām gonna take care of you. You just keep talking to me, okay baby?ā
You nodded, your hips twitching when his fingers skimmed the very edge of your panties, barely touching, teasing. You moaned as he dipped his head lower, pressing an open-mouthed kiss right over the fabric, warm and wet and dizzying.
āHollisāoh my godāā
He groaned softly, like just the sound of your voice was enough to ruin him.
āYou donāt even know what you do to me,ā he murmured, mouthing over you again, tongue pressing through the damp fabric, slow and exploratory.
Your back arched.
āI canātāā you moaned again. āIāve neverāno oneās ever touched me like this.ā
He kissed your inner thigh, then right back over your center. Messy. Slow. Loving.
āThatās ācause theyāre not me.ā
His fingers gently trailed up the backs of your thighs, slipping under and around the fabric, but not pulling it off yet, just tracing where your skin was softest. His touch made your legs shake again.
āYou feel that?ā he whispered. āThatās how I know you want this.ā
āI want you,ā you said instantly, desperate. āIāve wanted you for so long.ā
He moaned into you, kissing you again through the panties, this time firmer, a long, slow drag of his mouth right where you needed it most.
Your breath stuttered. āPlease, Hollisāplease donāt teaseāā
He smiled against you, a soft huff of a laugh. āThis isnāt teasing. Not yet.ā
Your hips bucked slightly, and one of his hands came up to gently press your stomach down, grounding you.
āEasy, y/n. Let me go slow,ā he said, voice like silk and sin. āIām not rushing this. Iāve waited too long to see you like this, falling apart just for me.ā
Your eyes fluttered shut as he kissed your hip again, your thigh, the delicate spot beside your center. His fingers finally dipped beneath the waistband, not pulling, just tracing, his fingertips brushing warmth and wet. Gasped as you traced your wetness.
āYouāre soaked, baby.ā
You nodded, breathless.
āCan I taste you?ā
Your eyes fluttered open. āYes,ā you gasped. āPlease. Hollisāpleaseāā
He groaned low in his throat, finally hooking his fingers into the sides of your pantiesāand slowly, so achingly slow, began to slide them down.
His eyes never left yours as the fabric dragged over your hips, your thighs, your knees. He tossed them aside, gaze dark,
His eyes dragged over every inch of youāspread out for him, flushed and trembling, barely able to keep still. He looked like he was worshipping. Like heād never seen anything so holy.
āYou donāt even know what you look like right now,ā he murmured, dragging his palm slow across your bare stomach. āYouāre perfect. Every inch of you.ā
He leaned in and kissed your inner thigh again, slow, open-mouthed, lingering, then brought his fingers down, finally sliding through your folds, bare and soft and slick.
You gasped, hips jolting at the contact.
āFuck,ā he whispered, watching his fingers glide through the wetness. āSo wet for me already. Youāre dripping.ā
You whimpered, trying to press into his hand. āPlease,ā you breathed. āHollisāā
He brought his face up, hovering just over your center, lips parted, but not touching yet.
āYou want me to touch you right here?ā he asked, voice dark and low. One finger barely brushed your clitājust a ghost of pressure.
You choked on a moan. āYes. Please.ā
He smiled, just barely.
āGood girl.ā
And then he pressed down.
You arched instantly, a sound escaping your lips that didnāt even sound like your own. His touch was firm but slow, rubbing in soft, deliberate circles, building pressure exactly where you needed it most.
āFuck, y/n,ā he said,Ā eyes locked on your face. āYouāre so sensitive. Look at how you react to me.ā
you gasped. āFeels so goodāā
āThatās right.ā His voice was hot and steady, even as your legs began to shake again. āLet me hear you. Donāt hold back from me.ā
Your hips bucked, and he held you down again with his free hand, gently but firmly.
āKeep those pretty thighs open,ā he said, teasing your clit a little faster now, his fingers coated in your slick. āYouāre doing so fucking good for me.ā You moaned, eyes glassy, āI love how messy you get,ā he whispered, dipping his head again and kissing your thigh while his fingers never stopped moving. āSo desperate. So pretty. All mine.ā
āPlease,ā you begged. You didnāt even know what for anymore. You just needed more. All of him. Now.
āI know, baby. I know what you need,ā he said, voice velvet-dark.
And thenāhe eased one finger inside you.
You cried out, hips stuttering, grabbing for his arm, his hair, anything you could hold.
āShhh,ā he murmured, his mouth against your stomach now, kissing up toward your ribs. āThatās it. Let me open you up a little, yeah? Just relax.ā
He was slow with it, sliding his finger in deep, curling it ever so slightly while his thumb kept steady pressure on your clit. The sensation had you gasping, legs tensing, your whole body trying to keep up with how good it felt.
āIāve got you,ā he whispered again, now up near your chest, kissing along your collarbone. āYouāre so tight. Fuck. You feel like heaven.ā
āHollisāoh my godādonāt stopāā
I wonāt,ā he murmured, lips brushing the base of your throat. āNot gonna stop until you canāt even remember your own name.ā
He kissed lower again, slow and warm, tracing the curve of your ribs like he was mapping a constellation only he could read. His hands stayed steady, one spread low across your stomach to anchor you, the other still working between your thighs, two fingers stroking, curling, slow and deep, never rushing.
You werenāt close yet. Not even near it.
But everything felt so good.
Too good.
The kind of good that made your whole body hum, that melted your bones and made your toes curl just from the rhythm of it. You couldnāt think. Couldnāt breathe. Could barely remember what you were saying, just that you were saying it to him.
And then he looked up at you.
Your eyes fluttered shut under the heat of it all, but his voice cut through, low, steady, breathless.
āDonāt close your eyes,ā he said. āI wanna see you feel this.ā
You gasped, lashes fluttering back openāand there he was, between your legs, gaze pinned to yours like it meant everything.
His mouth curved.
āThere she is,ā he murmured. āLook at me, y/n. Iāve got you.ā
He didnāt even have his mouth on you yet and you were already falling apartāa writhing, breathless mess beneath his hands, every nerve lit up and aching for more.
āYouāre so fucking pretty like this,ā he whispered, watching your face shift with every movement of his fingers. āSo fucking sweet for me.ā
You moaned again, helpless, needy, your hips lifting to chase the friction he gave.
He leaned in and kissed your ribs again, messy, slow, tongue dragging just enough to make you squirm. Then lower, mouth hovering just above where you needed him most, so close the heat of his breath made your thighs shake.
āYouāre not close yet, are you?ā he said softly, teasing but sweet, like he loved how much you were falling for this. āLet me take you there.ā
Your lips parted, trying to answer, but all that came out was his name, broken, reverent.
āHollisāpleaseāā
He smiled against your skin, eyes burning into yours.
āYou donāt have to beg yet,ā he whispered. āBut god, I love when you do.ā
Then he kissed your inner thigh again, just to hear the sound you made.
āAngel,ā he murmured, voice velvet-smooth. āYouāre trembling.ā
You whined when he slid his fingers out of you, hips arching toward his mouth.
āPatience, princess,ā he said with a little smile, dragging his tongue just a breath away from your center. āIām gonna take my time with you. Make you feel every second of it.ā
Your hands fisted in the sheets. āPlease, HollisāI need youāā
His eyes flicked up, hungry. āSay it again.ā
You bit your lip, flushed and breathless. āI need you. Please, babyājust your mouth, pleaseāā
He groaned at that. āFuck, thatās it. You sound so beautiful when you beg.ā
Then, finally, he ducked lower and kissed you there. Soft. Warm. Just once.
Your whole body jolted.
āOh my godāā
āYou like that, angel?ā he whispered, pressing another kiss. āWant me to keep going?ā
āYes,ā you gasped. āYesādonāt stopāpleaseāā
He moaned into you, and this time, his tongue slid flat up your core, slow and deep, like he was savoring you. Then again. And again. Each stroke dragged a new sound from your lips.
āYou taste so good,ā he groaned. āSweetest thing Iāve ever had.ā
He licked you again, slower now, and when your hips twitched, he gripped your thighs tighter, holding you down.
āStay still for me, baby. Let me take care of you.ā
You whimpered, hands tugging to his hair.
His tongue circled your clit just right, then sucked, lightly, teasing. You cried out, back arching off the bed, hands yanking at his hair.
āThatās it, angel,ā he murmured against you, his voice thick and ruined. āDonāt hold back. Let me hear it.ā
Then he dove back in, tongue flattening against you, slow and heavy, dragging a moan straight from your core.
Each lick sent sparks flying down your spine. He moved with a rhythm that was deliberate, almost cruel in how slow it was, like he wanted you to fall apart slowly, inch by inch.
You tried to shift your hips up again, chasing his mouth, but his hands locked tighter around your thighs.
āUh-uh, baby,ā he said, eyes blazing up at you. āYou stay right there. Iām not done with you yet.ā
He kissed your clit. Licked it once. Again.
And then he started flicking his tongue in tight, fast little circles, focused, relentless, perfect.
Your breath caught. āHollisāfuckāfuckāā
He groaned, low and deep, the vibration making your legs shake.
āYou like that, princess?ā he rasped, barely pulling back. āYou want more?ā
āYesāplease, baby, donāt stopāpleaseāā
āIām not stopping,ā he growled. āNot until you come for me. I want it messy. I want you shaking.ā
You whimpered, toes curling, body wound so tight it felt like youād snap.
He alternated now; firm, flat licks that made your thighs quake, then soft, wet kisses to your clit that made you sob his name.
āSuch a good girl,ā he whispered. āSo sweet. So fucking perfect. Youāre mine, arenāt you?ā
āYesāyesāHollis, Iām yoursāā
āYeah, you are,ā he breathed, and his voiceāgod, his voiceāwas low and wrecked, thick with want. āMine to touch, mine to taste⦠mine to make fall apart.ā
Then he moaned into you, he could feel you pulsing, trembling just for him, and he sucked your clit, slow and deep, while his tongue pressed in tight and stayed.
You almost screamed.
Your hands pulled his hair, your hips arching up without permission, desperate, wild, almost scared by how good it felt.
But he caught your hips in his hands, strong and unyielding, and pinned you back down.
āStay still,ā he rasped, voice rough and command-slick. āLet me make you come, baby. Let me feel you lose it.ā
You moaned something incoherent, barely human, barely breathing when he suddenly slipped a finger inside of you hitting you just right.
āEyes on me,ā he growled. āLook at me while I make you fall apart, y/n.ā
Your head lolled back, already too far gone.
But then you felt his free hand sliding up your sides, slow and sure, until one hand was gently cupping your jaw.
He dragged your face back toward him, firm, steady, and his eyes locked to yours with that impossible stare.
āLet me see you,ā he whispered. āI want to watch you come.ā
You gasped, voice breaking. āIāI canātāHollisāā
āYes you can,ā he said, mouth right there again, lips brushing your clit like a kiss as he fingered you slowly. āYouāre doing so good for me, baby. So perfect. Let me finish what I started.ā
And then he went down again.
This time absolutely relentless. Tongue flicking fast, then circling, then pressing flat and slow, dragging sparks all the way up your spine as he fingered you faster adding a second.
You were sobbing his name, every sound raw, every nerve on fire.
āIāmāfuckāIām closeāā
āThatās it,ā he growled. āDonāt fight it. Come for me. Be a good girl. Show me.ā
You choked on a moan, your whole body shudderingāhips jerking, legs shaking so hard they nearly slipped from his grip.
āPleaseāHollis, Iām gonnaāā
He groaned and sucked, deep and sure, and that was it.
Your orgasm hit like a wave crashing straight through you, blinding, burning, blissful. Your back arched, hands clawing into the sheets in his hair, mouth wide open but no sound coming out, just pure, overwhelming pleasure.
He kept going. Kept licking through it, slowing down just enough to let you ride it out.
āGood girl,ā he whispered, voice hot against you. āThere she is. Thatās my princess.ā
You collapsed, spent and shaking, tears pricking your eyes from how deep it all went.
But he didnāt stop, not right away.
He kissed you again. Gently. Soft, slow strokes of his tongue over your clit now, like he was soothing the storm he just pulled from your body. Fingers pulling out of your hole. You whined at the loss.
He kissed you there again, then again, slower now, softer, like he couldnāt stop himself.
When he finally pulled back, his lips were slick, his chest rising and falling like heād just run a mile. His eyes were dark, a little wild, but underneath it, soft.
He crawled up your body, kissing your stomach, your ribs, your chest like he already knew where to go, chains dragging across your skinā then paused, He hovered over your face, bleached hair falling over his forehead.Ā
āYou okay, beautiful?ā he whispered, brushing your hair from your face. āYou with me?ā
You blinked up at him, dazed. āā¦barely.ā
He smiled, slow and smug, then kissed your jaw.
āGood. Thatās what I like to hear.ā
His thumb stroked your cheek, then traced the edge of your lower lip. āYou shouldāve seen yourself,ā he whispered. āSo fucking pretty falling apart for me like that.ā
You whimpered, and he grinned again, dipping in to kiss youādeep, slow, teasingāletting you taste yourself on his tongue. It shouldāve been filthy. But it felt like yours.
āYou gonna talk to me now?ā he asked against your lips, teasing, gentle. āYou got all quiet on me, princess.ā
āIām trying to recover,ā you mumbled eyes fluttering shut, letting your fingers find his necklaces, letting it ground you.
He laughed quietly, brushing his nose against yours. āMmm. Iāll allow it.ā
Then he kissed your forehead, firm, lingering. His hand slid slowly up your side, just skin and warmth and the kind of touch that didnāt ask for anything.
āYou okay?ā he asked again, softer this time.
You nodded, still catching your breath. āā¦Yeah.ā
He pulled you closer, wrapping both arms around you like he meant to keep you right there all night. āYou did so good,ā he said, quiet, words pressed into your hair. āSeriously. I know that was⦠new.ā
You buried your face in his neck, flushed and smiling.
āāM glad it was you,ā you said, muffled.
He went still for a beat. Then you felt him smile into your skin.
āYeah,ā he said. āMe too.ā
He kissed your shoulder. Then your jaw. Then your temple. Like he couldnāt help himself.
āYouāre shaking,ā he said, brushing your arm. āCold?ā
You shook your head. āJust⦠coming down.ā
āI got you,ā he said instantly.
He sat up just enough to pull the blanket higher, tucking it under your chin like heād done a hundred times beforeā but this time, your bare legs were tangled together, and your heart wouldnāt stop fluttering.
āWant me to get a hoodie?ā he offered, already reaching for it.
You nodded, and he slipped it gently over your head, tugging the sleeves down your arms like he was dressing something fragile.
He smiled and kissed your knuckles. āStay here. Iām getting you water.ā
āBut Iām comfyā¦ā
āIāll be thirty seconds.ā He kissed your cheek before slipping off the bed.
You watched him walk out of the room, And when he came back, he had a cold glass of water.Ā
āHere,ā he said, climbing back in beside you. āHydrate. Then you can go back to being a puddle.ā
You looked at him, heart too full, and took the glass.
He tucked the blanket around your legs again. Let you lean into him. Let the silence fill up with something warm and steady.
And when you looked up at him again, he was already watching you, like he couldnāt believe what he was holding.
Like he wasnāt ever gonna let it go.
Your voice came out quieter than you meant it to. āWhat?ā
He blinked, like youād caught him. But his thumb still brushed slow over your thigh. āNothing. Justā¦ā He shook his head, smiling to himself. āI always knew you were gonna ruin me.ā
You let out a soft laugh, pressing your forehead to his shoulder. āThatās dramatic.ā
He tilted his head, resting it against yours. āMaybe. But I donāt feel normal right now. You feel like⦠everything.ā
You didnāt say anything for a moment. Just curled into him more, feeling the beat of his heart under your cheek.
Then you mumbled, āThis is so weird.ā
āYeah,ā he said, like a breath. āBut not in a bad way.ā
You nodded.
He looked down again. āAre you good? Really?ā
You lifted your chin a little. āYeah. Just⦠full of feelings.ā
He grinned softly. āSame.ā Then he hesitated. āDo you still wanna stay? Or I can go. I donāt wannaāā
āStay,ā you said immediately. āI mean. If you want to.ā
He laughed once, low and real. āI wasnāt looking for an excuse to leave, baby. You could tell me to sleep on the floor and Iād still feel lucky.ā
You raised your eyebrows. āYouāre not sleeping on the floor. Itās your room.ā You said half joking.Ā
āOh, thank God.ā Hollis said sarcastically.
He shifted down beside you and tugged the blanket up over both of you, one arm sliding underneath you so you could stay tucked against his chest. His chain was cool against your collarbone. You traced the edge of it with your fingers, lazy.
āā¦Do we tell people?ā you whispered eventually.
āEventually,ā he murmured. āBut not now. Now is just ours.ā
That made you smile. That made you melt.
You let your fingers lace with his.
āā¦Do you think the other guys heard us?ā you mumbled, your voice a little hoarse from earlier. You turned your head slightly, cheek still pressed to his chest.
He paused. You felt him breathe in, felt his smirk against your hair.
āProbably not,ā he said, not very convincingly. Then: āI hope.ā
You snorted. āYou hope?ā
āI mean⦠we are far away from the guest room,ā he offered, voice low and amused. āAnd they were all in bed before⦠I think.ā
You groaned, burying your face in his neck. āGod, I cannot make eye contact with Nate in the morning.ā
āYouāre worried about Nate?ā Hollis laughed, then winced. āOkay, yeah. Fair. He already thinks weāre a little fucked up.ā
He shifted, curling toward you more fully, tucking your joined hands against his chest. His body was warm, his heartbeat slow and solid beneath your cheek.
āI donāt want this to ruin anything,ā you murmured after a beat. āLike, I still wanna send you reels at 2am. I still wanna talk shit with you in the car. I still wanna be your friend.ā
He nodded, kissing the top of your head. āYouāre not losing any of that. Youāre just gaining more. Okay?ā
āā¦Okay.ā
You were both quiet for a moment. Just breathing. Just being.
Then, with a lazy grin, he murmured, āStill gonna bully you when you make an ass beat, though.ā
You smacked his chest with your free hand. āYouāre the worst.ā
āYou love me.ā
The words slipped out so easily, like theyād always been there, waiting.
You looked up at him, startled.
His eyes widened a little. āWait. I didnāt meanāI mean, I did, but not likeāā
You smiled, soft and slow. āI know what you meant.ā
He relaxed, just a little. Then whispered, āGood.ā
You kissed his jaw. Then his cheek. Then his mouth, slow and steady and sure.
āI love you too.ā you murmured. Itās not like you havenāt said it before. Just in a different context.Ā
And he laughed, quiet and breathless, before pulling you close again, pressing one last kiss to your forehead.
āOkay,ā he whispered, lips still against your skin. āOkay.ā
The room fell back into stillness.
You didnāt need to speak anymore.
Not when everything that mattered had already been said. Your leg slipped between his. His arms tightened. The weight of the night settled into something quieter, gentler. You could still feel the aftershocks low in your belly, still feel the heat of his mouth, the weight of his stare, but now it was wrapped in warmth. Familiarity. Safety. And with his arms around you, and the soft, steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear, you finally let yourself drift.















