#211225

✧ Giselle (AESPA) - 2021 SBS Gayo Daejeon outfit ✧

211225 SBS Gayo Daejeon performance of “Next Level + Savage”

On this day, my mother left. No explanation. No goodbye. She took her personal belongings and disappeared. She didn’t take photos of us. She didn’t take anything that connected her to her children. Just herself. We were left alone.

That same night, my father moved back in and took over our care. On the surface, that might sound like stability. Emotionally, it was disorienting. There was no time to process what had happened. No space to grieve, to ask questions, to be held in our shock. Life simply continued, but something fundamental had cracked.

For almost a year we didn’t know where our mother was or why she left. Later, she began calling sporadically. Every few weeks. Sometimes months. The reasons for her departure became clearer when I was in my twenties, after reconnecting with her and even living with her for a while. Strangely, understanding her reasons hurt more than not knowing. They revealed choices, not inevitabilities.

In my thirties, I understood her even more clearly. But understanding never made it right. It never erased what was taken from us. Our relationship has always been strained, and I’ve had to accept that it always will be. The same is true for my relationship with my father.

After my mother left, within a few years my father brought a stranger into our home. A much younger woman, chosen through an arrangement made by his mother. She did not accept my brother or me. I still find myself wondering what kind of parent does that to children who are already traumatized. A parent’s first responsibility is protection. In that moment, it failed us.

I left home at nineteen. Not because I was ready, but because I had to be. I had no diplomas, no savings, and very little life experience. I did have a job, thankfully a good one, and I clung to that as my lifeline. What looked like independence from the outside was really survival.

It took years of therapy, in different forms, to arrive at the place I am now. Accepting without excusing. Understanding without minimizing. Grieving without self-blame. I can see my parents as human, flawed, limited, and still hold the truth that they made decisions that profoundly shaped my life.

Abandonment isn’t always dramatic. Often it comes from ordinary decisions made without enough care, from adults who are unable or unwilling to stay emotionally present when it matters most. The damage isn’t always intentional, but it is lasting.

20211225 TWICE ‘III’ World Tour Seoul

20211225 TWICE ‘III’ World Tour @ Seoul

25/12/21 Yeonjun’s Tweet

Happy Holiday MOA❤️💚