#10302015

Whoa, I haven’t been on here in forever. Well, anyways, so I’ve noticed a lot of things about my life that has changed over the years and I have to say.. Not to shabby Darlene. Good. Job. Why? O’kay so for starters I used to do this thing where I would stupidly - Jesus, its embarrassing to even type about it - I would do this thing where I would just blindly give people my things when they ask for it. Regardless of whether I knew they had that already or not I’d just give it to them. I don’t know, that’s just how I am I guess. O’kay so I haven’t stopped doing it entirely but what do you know, Tumblr =-=“ Just listen. 

I got over a lot of habits. My tolerance of annoying people has been lowered, significantly, and I think that’s great. Honestly, I just felt like I was going to explode in highschool when I listened from one girl to the next rant on and on about how they did something even though they knew that the outcome was going to be bad. Holy Cow, it took me forever to realize that I needed to change that. I thought that I was just being nice by listening to them. Now I’ve realized that it’s honestly so much better to just tell them the truth. I think it’s made me grow up more myself too. I don’t tolerate bullying, well that’s a given, since highschool I was like that, but I actually stand up for people now. I fight back. I scream, I shout. It feels pretty good. Before I would just comfort them after the whole thing happened but now, :) I don’t even know where to begin if I were to talk about all of the stuff I’ve been through.

I eat more now. I actually still forget to eat a lot and that’s when I get worked up or busy with something and I forget to eat in general (there was this week where I went two days with just drinking water and coffee because I was stressed out with life overall and I forgot to eat), but now I keep on track with it. I literally have a journal where I write down what I eat because I hope to someday remake that dish with a twist or something :) Snapchat and Instagram inspire me to eat to, believe it or not. Stupid... I know but I like to take pictures of what I eat haha. In other words, I feed my camera on the daily. 

I’m more on schedule with my school work and as I progress through school (who knows when I’ll be able to transfer. Every time I go back to the counselor’s office, apparently I missed something or they would make a change to my degreeworks so technically i’m stuck there until I can get everything sorted out...), I find myself keeping up better and staying on track more with my prioritizing and study schedule. I have a good friend that has been super close to me since I started going to OCC too, haha :) She helps me stay on track and, personally, because you can stay focused on what you have to do. And I help her a lot too so we balance the work load off that way. <3 Oh, also, my grades have improved tremendously since I’ve transferred to OCC. I’m so happy about it. Honestly, the IVC counselor had my degreeworks major schedule wrong so I took classes that I didn’t even need. I had bad grades too because of what was going on at the time. I could barely focus on my own life.

I don’t give into the pressure that my family puts me under as much anymore. I’ve learned that to be successful I literally have to keep them seperate from my studies. I cannot. work. with. them. It’s so upsetting. I feel like they care more about themselves sometimes. Especially with my family always busy with gossip and their own personal lives, I have to keep that away from me and my life. Not going to Sacramento was one of my biggest mistakes. Staying here held me back so much. The next time I move out for my own good, I won’t make the mistake of staying back for family ever again.