Mar 27, 2013
#marriageequality #03262013 #daylate #betterlatethannever #homophobia #quote #noh8 #sbnn
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#marriageequality #03262013 #daylate #betterlatethannever #homophobia #quote #noh8 #sbnn
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End Conversations Part 3: Heartaches
Y: You are just so lucky. Somebody has made you as her inspiration in her writings.
L: I don't know if it's gonna flatter me or make me feel so bad because of this.
Y: But honestly,I just want to know. How do you feel for me?
L: You're a good lady. I know you have great ambitions and you are driven by your own principles. Always be who you are. You're not hard to fall for.
Y: Is that true? Or are you just saying it to make me feel ok?
L: Here we go again. Sometimes you act like a child, you are competitive. I am not a psychologist.
Y: Just take it easy. Keep calm. Everything will be ok for you. Just don't mind me.
L: You know part of my story and I hope you understand why I can't fall for you. I really don't know if this is proper.
Y: I'm not asking you to even fall for me. And I am not even sure if it's love. Take it easy. It's just an unidentified infatuation.
L: Well, I just want you to know my side.
Y: I know your side even before you tell me. I'm not asking anything in return.
End Conversations Part 2: Deceptions Unmasked
Y: Are we talking about the mystery guy? So you already know?
L: Am I the mystery guy?
Y: Yes. It's impossible that you don't know. Happy?
L: That was an honest question. Yes I have speculations but I don't wanna make assumptions. If that's what you think of who I am, then there's no reason why we should become friends. You think of me as a fishing asshole trying to pick up some dirty snacks to feed my egotistical stomach. That should hurt.
Y: So how do you react? How do you feel? Happy because now you confirmed?
L: Well, now I confirmed how you really look at me. And that is so sad to know that I'm just a cheap maggot inside a criminal's epidermis.
Y: No that's not what I mean. I know that you are a very nice guy. You're smart and I am really challenged with you because you have this principles that I want to prove you wrong. I just want to make myself hate you because almost everyday, it's getting worse. I'm sorry. I don't think that you're bad, honestly. You're a great guy.
L: Ok. Maybe I also have to say sorry first for whatever uneasy feeling I've done to you. Note that I'm unaware of that and if there could be a way to undo, I would.
Y: It really takes a lot of courage to tell you these things. I can't believe that I am braver to tell you honestly about what I really feel about this. Ironically, I can't believe that I am this weak.
L: I may seem stupid or insouciant (as what you have said) about this, but you just don't know that I care, because I hate to be blamed of something I didn't intend to do or whatever.
Y: You want to undo it?
L: Yes, if that could help you escape from the agony you're into.
Y: Agony? I am strong and I want to believe that i am. I am optimistic. I can do this.
L: Because you seem so affected and you said that it's the most difficult challenge of your 2013.
Y: We are not teenagers anymore to keep those things secret. Maybe you knowing it would help. I just want to really keep the friendship. And if everything fails around me, it's not your fault after all. It's mine.
L: I did not keep a secret. It's just that I knew (let's just say confirmed) it now. I, too, want to keep the friendship.
End Conversations Part 1: Lost
L: What makes it awkward?
Y: You and I, together with no other friends, is awkward. And at some point, I want to make myself believe that I don't like it and I hate the idea.
L: Haha. How do you feel now?
Y: How do I feel about what?
L: How do you feel now? Nothing in particular.
Y: Not good actually. I've been struggling for two weeks now about what everything I feel. I don't wanna make wrong decisions and hurt people. And for now, I've been so prayerful because maybe it's the only source of answers from my so many questions. Why do you want to know?
L: Because I wanna know how you feel. Though I don't know what to do about it after knowing. Perhaps to help, to help pray or I don't know. Was it appropriate to ask what you feel?
Y: So thoughtful of you for asking how I really feel when you don't even care about it. What made you ask that? How do you feel too?
L: Maybe I care. I will help you pray and surpass this struggle of your life.
Y: It is inappropriate to ask if you don't care about it. But if you do, then maybe it's ok. I've never been through this all my life. This has been the most difficult challenge 2013 has given me.
L: So how can I hep then?
Y: I don't know. I still want to keep the friendship. And that's what makes everything difficult. You're just making it worse. But somehow, I'm glad to know that you care. It's just so difficult. I have no one to talk about this but myself. Nobody can help but myself. Not even you.