#0303emily

I, as an artist, do not feel safe in the Rain World fandom.

I have expressed this in the past, but I have been the victim of false pedophile and grooming allegations with the use of manipulated and doctored screenshots. I do not have the words to articulate just how psychologically damaging it is to have an entire fandom turn on you in an instant. To have your social life destroyed. To have hundreds or even thousands of people celebrate your downfall, simply because you annoyed them, because now they have a "reason" to. Watching this fandom gleefully parade around shaky evidence and happily participate in this type of behavior is sickening to me. It makes me worry that someday, I will annoy someone enough to have another false allegation made against me, and I will have to go through that again. There is a part of me that believes I would not survive such a thing. I am not trying to be dramatic when I say that, but people need to realize that "internet drama" can cause serious harm your mental health. I still have PTSD nightmares related to the callout post made about me from 3 years ago. This is not something you can just “get over”.

People need to remember fanartists are not paragons of grace, nor are they perfect. The fact that the internet has allowed people to dehumanize artists into "content machines" that must never slip up rather than human beings who are messy and awkward and can fuck up at times is sickening. I do not feel comfortable in a fandom that jumps at the opportunity to harass someone over a mistake, that stirs up a witchunt over what boils down to miscommunications. A fandom that treats every situation as black and white and doesn't wait for all the evidence to come out.

I believe nyuuronfly put it best in their post:

"It is not inspiring to sit around and get attention in an atmosphere where the more attention you get the more you know many of the eyes that are looking toward you are searching for a weak point to go after."

I understand revealing a lot of my trauma in this post is a potentially stupid decision, but I believe my story can help make people realize the genuine harm callout posts cause. It is not fun having to deal with constant paranoia that hundreds of people are praying on your downfall. I have considered not posting about, or simply deleting my rot au many times because of worry that someone will think it's too “dark” or “problematic” and decide I am the fandom's #1 punching bag for months.

As of now, I will not be deleting, nor will I stop posting art. But I have considered it many times, and this behavior as of late brought me the closest I've ever been to doing so. I love rain world and frankly, I don't want to feel this way about the fandom! I want this place to be positive, I want better for this game. I'm not mad, just disappointed.

TL;DR:

PLEASE for the LOVE OF GOD stop reblogging callout posts.

Fanartists are PEOPLE. They are giving you FREE art. Treat them better.

You are not immune to false screenshots, mob mentality, and black and white thinking.

I remember being in a call with you when Azriel sent you a message about people you follow on FurAff and how, somehow, Azriel knew one of the artists was a feral artist... which is kind of weird for a 17 year old to know, but either way. I remember you SAYING you felt super uncomfortable with Azriel speaking to you about that and how you were going to distance yourself from them because of this.

I remember us talking and how you said you mainly followed them for their SFW art, but didn't like/know of their feral stuff.

I know from being your friend and from me having trouble drawing anthro stuff that you don't like feral NSFW, and I know from you and I being friends that you have never once drawn it. To hear someone say that you are a pedophile and a zoophile for your ex-friend invading your space about an artist they should never have known that made porn is absolutely asinine to me - it would be like me, who as a minor found some stuff they blatantly knew they shouldn't have, immediately made all the people who made that content pedophiles.

The evidence I've seen doesn't sound like you. It doesn't seem like you at all. And I've had a person very similar to Azriel who has made content that made it seem like I did something bad to them - and I've had a person I know have the same thing happen to them, too! I see the signs of it and I do not believe Azriel in the slightest. The sudden accusation but no immediate evidence, the warpath they took where when people didn't immediately take their side they were painted as horrible, and the fact alone that the evidence is fishy at best are *all* the same signs from people I've known who have been framed for these kinds of things.

And, not to mention... If Azriel was uncomfortable with talking to you about the FurAff thing... *Why* did they message you about that? Why did they message you about how to price nsfw stuff and you kept saying to not do it until they're 18 because you didn't and then regreted it? "Oh no uwu I'm uncomfortable with the talk I just sent to you, now you're a pedo and a zoo!"... it's asinine and only waters down the actual people who have *actually* have been groomed and abused, because that is something that happens a lot more than it ever should (which is, at all), and it spits in my face, as someone who has been exploited.

Am I someone who is prominent in the RW community? No, and I never will be. Does my opinion matter to the people who have done this to you? I sure hope it does. But I think my voice matters because I was the person who was with you when you got a spike of anxiety when you were debating with me in vc about going to bed and how after Azriel messaged you, you couldn't fall asleep anymore from anxiety. I don't think that's the feeling a groomer gets from when a potential victim gets served up to them. The fact that a lot of the adults in the fandom stand with you, outwardly or not, should be a testament to this.

[As soon as the wrapping paper and box itself is out of the way, a tall skeleton is revealed standing upright, his single red eye light immediately focusing on you. He appears to be tied to a post of some sort, with an axe sitting on the floor beside him, tipped upright and leaning against his leg with a red ribbon tied around it's handle]

[Before you is a tall box, wrapped in red and grey paper. There's a tag taped to it that has your name scribbled down, making it clear that this oversized gift is yours]

are you proud of yourself? you activated my fight or flight response. i broke over this ask like glass. deep down i hoped that maybe you meant mafiatale papyrus or the papyrus that we all know and love wearing a fedora and making that face. but no. deep down you and i both knew what papyrus you were referring to. and for that, i suffer the consequences of my actions of having my inbox titled "Ask me anything!" and knowing that anything related to undertale is fair game. you played fairly and i had to follow along, trapped by my own rules.

Anyways I hope you like it!

For those of you wondering, I'm doing an expression challenge meme to celebrate 900+ followers!