#...vaporwave?

I was asked to create a webmaster for a fake blog at the url “cardealera.com,” presumably meant to capture traffic from people failing to type “cardealer.com” correctly. Introducing Cartney Cotard, here to explain the dramatic and complex culture of car dealers.

Arthur Postings, of Education Website. I figured a guy with a site by that name would be pretty literal-minded.

A very intense about-me courtesy of Darcey Fleming, head blogtician at Finance Training Topics. Writing totally stupid cautionary tales is always a good time.

Jeremy Santos, of Outsource SEO Now. This is not that far from how many SEO companies actually operate.  Also, apparently Jeremy Santos is also the name of the hot neighbor in Broad City? According to my timeline, we came up with this name at roughly the same time. I would like to see this Jeremy Santos on that show.

Brandon Lasko of Futura House. This domain was one of many that attempted to capitalize on typos. I have to wonder how many people looking for websites about futuristic architecture ended up reading about caterpillar eating.

Melinda Gregory, of Best Dentist Directory. The botched tagline at the top was my invention as well. I remember coming up with that one and waiting SO EAGERLY for another dentistry site to come my way so I could use it.  I couldn’t say why, but I think there’s something inherently funny about dentists.

When I had to write these pretend biographies for fake legal blogs I wanted to be especially silly, so people wouldn’t try and take any advice from them. Sandra Rivulet of Free Litigation Advice is a good example.