I hate you so much I almost can’t breathe when I look at you but that doesn’t explain why my heart flutters each time I see your name on my phone. you are so intensely aggravating and honestly maybe Freud was onto something because you remind me of my father in the worst possible way. I can’t help but desire your attraction and it is disgusting until I realize you are nearly perfect for me. you like to read my writings and even though I haven’t shown you this silly journal I know you would enjoy having a scroll through it. it’s like I can tell you all my secrets and you would only judge me a little because you feel pain the same way I do. did you know our zodiac signs are compatible? water and earth, what a combination. you tone down my fire so easily it’s as if you’ve had a crash course in my emotions. I tell you the horrible thoughts and things I’ve done but I don’t feel crazy saying them out loud; I cannot comprehend how quickly you’ve become my best friend. I don’t want to miss you this weekend but I know I will, and I’m breaking rules to see you tonight. why am I breaking rules for you? I hate how quickly I develop feelings and you scare me the most because I feel like we could be something good if I wasn’t terrified of endings. teach me how to focus on the middle; I’m thinking too far ahead at any given moment and it’s nauseating that I can already see you meeting my family. by the way, they would love you and I want to throw up.
