You posted these tags like 4h ago and like I wanna agree/discuss but I don't like the tone of the original post personally lmao. So I just wanted to say like, oh I absolutely agree. I think treating open and reflexive communication like it's "easy" and "what all adults automatically know" not a skill that is learnt and often discouraged in children isn't necessarily treating the issue as what it is; which is that while these are skills that are learnt/developed with age (and tbh that kids under like, 10, might not have the self reflection skills/knowledge to be able to accurately tell why they're upset with someone tbh.) kids esp from abusive environments aren't always given avenues to learn them because current society does not want children to communicate, it wants them to not exist. You made an excellent point about the original post 👍 I'd also argue that the fact that people can treat these skills as just things you should automatically know also leads people to not question whether they do actually have those skills or believe that they could never learn them, because they're just "innate" and there's this assumption where if you didn't learn them then something must've inherently gone wrong with you (the person not taught effectively) instead of it being a failure of a society that expects fully grown and mature adults to suddenly start existing without any actual nurture or care. Like those parents who unschool their kids and just expect them to learn how to read on their own. I honestly dunno how unpopular of an opinion this is now but I'd argue that this assumption that you have to shame/bully others into doing healthy behaviours, especially if those behaviours inconvenience or hurt others, is really ineffective but the internet and the larger western political sphere has made it so that snappy bitchy comebacks, m*rvel-movie-esk quips, and "drama" have replaced genuine attempts to understand what in our collective treatment of certain people has made them like this. It's easier and funnier to ask someone why they can't be normal than it is to actually ask ourselves what's preventing them from engaging with others in a helpful and safe way, especially when the answer as to why is "systemic neglect and abuse"
So yeah 👍 excellent point imo, hope you don't mind me yapping in your askbox like this lmao
thank you for reading our tags!! sometimes we feel like people dont care about our long ramblings in tags but this disproves those feelings lol. and you make a lot of good points btw! especially the part about people assuming they have these skills without questioning it, thats a really good addition.
and also, just for the record, no shade to OP from me. i get that miscommunications can be really frustrating, and dont wanna tone police anyone especially on a one-off tumblr post. i just think understanding why problems like this happen and having sympathy for others (even when theyre frustrating) is important. though we don't know exactly OP's situation, and there are genuinely people who dont communicate out of spite and bad faith rather than trauma or ignorance, and theres nothing you can do in that situation tbh. but we try to assume good faith first until proven wrong. the post was kinda generalized and worded in a kinda condescending way, but i also just think they may have never been told directly why people struggle to tell them things directly from the group of people that struggle to tell things directly lmao. idk if that word salad makes sense but it makes sense to me lol
