#*medication

I was "let go" from my job at the end of January. They tried to make sure I wouldn't apply for unemployment, which I saw right through and applied for anyway. Turns out you can't fire someone because there isn't enough work to go around and then expect UI to deny the claim. Assholes.

Due to being unemployed and uninsured and such, I was running out of meds, so I contacted my ex-boyfriend because he had been on a chemical analog to what I was on (venlafaxine <--> desvenlafaxine) and I knew he had a bunch left over from when he stopped taking them. I used his supply to taper down instead of quitting cold turkey, which was still hellish but not as bad as it could have been. Actually, being unemployed + unmedicated had me in a better emotional state than being employed + medicated. Which says a lot about how fucking terrible my last job was, because it's not like being unemployed was a non-stop pleasure garden.

I subsequently got back together with my ex because why make a mistake once when you can do it twice. He told me that I should consider starting my own business, so I looked into that. While doing that, I applied for work at a bunch of temp agencies because I figured a temp job would be necessary while I set myself up. I broke up with him after it became clear that he was not going to prioritize seeing me over whatever big important thing was going on in his life at any given moment -- that and him being kind of neurotic and stressed out ALL THE TIME. Dude has no chill, he is always at 11.

I went on a bunch of job interviews which were not great but informative. At one of them (for a financial counselor role where you help poor people paying bills), the interviewer straight up asked me why they should give me the job. It went something like this:

Interviewer: You say you want to help people. I see that you used to do counseling for a few years. But you left that behind, and you went into recruiting.

Me: Yes, but I'd like to get back to counseling. I think it's more rewarding and I prefer helping people to --

Interviewer: I look at your resume and I see someone who will do this job for about six months before realizing how hard it is and going back to recruiting. Prove me wrong.

Me: I don't know that there's something I can do to prove that to you. Other than to say that my skills could go in either direction but that I'd rather use them to help the disenfranchised--

Interviewer: You've already talked about how you want to help people. :|

I was furious when I walked out of that interview. In a fit of pique, I rejiggered my resume to sound more recruiter-y and applied to 6 permanent recruiter positions as well as 2 temporary postings. I got interviews for 3 of the 6 I applied to, and I landed a temp job (ugh) at a Large and Boring Company who may or may not sell car insurance (ugh). It was terrible and I was honestly kind of glad when they decided to end my engagement early. About five days later, my current company made me an offer, and that, as they say, was that.

I now have a job with a 401(k) and stock options, and a bonus. They pay me about twice as much as I made at my old place of employ. I'm quite good at my job and I kick a fair amount of ass at it, to be honest. I have been employed there for 5 months and have hired 6 people. I'm hopeful that by this time next year I will have increased responsibilities, a raise, or both.

The funny thing is, I owe my current job to a particularly obnoxious and abrasive interviewer. I owe that interview to my ex-boyfriend, who encouraged me to take the temp job and starting my own business route to a really strong extent -- I would not have explored that avenue if he hadn't encouraged me to do so. I owe getting back together with him and the consequent pep talks to running out of meds, which would not have happened if I hadn't been uninsured due to being fired from my last job.

So, not to get all white-boy-around-a-campfire spiritual on you, but sometimes wonderful things only come from a series of terrible, ill-timed hardships. If you're really in the weeds right now, take heart. Chances are, you're already on your way to getting out of whatever situation you're in, and you don't even know it, because it will only make sense in retrospect.