#*flails

Naughty; rated M for mature [ao3 / ff.net] Requested by HeddaGab.Christmas fic where Regina makes Rumple dress up like an elf and she would be the Lady Santa.

"Would you stop acting like the Grinch who stole Christmas and get your ass out there?" Regina scolded Gold, swatting at his arm in a determined fashion. "And here, take this with you. Stall them, I need to finish getting dressed." The brunette was currently hidden behind a changing screen, hands tossing a large red sack with white fuzzy drawstrings out onto the floor towards a grumpy looking Gold — decked out in an elf costume, a long forest green tunic, leather brown pants ( in which he insisted he would not where tights ) with pointy black shoes with a bell at the peak — he jingled when he walked.

"I could have been the Santa, you know." Huffing, he reached forward, grabbed the large sack and began to peak inside at the wrapped presents stacked there. "It would have been better than this." Glancing in her direction, he allowed his eyes to follow the shadow cast against the changing screen — the image it allowed his head to paint threatened to push out the Grinch within him. "What does your outfit look like?"

"You fit better as an elf, trust me. And those elf like ears of yours..." She could see them in the back of her mind and immediately wanted to nibble at the ends, to whisper filthy words into them.

"Elf like ears?" He chimed up, puffing his chest out as if it could help diminish all thoughts of such things.

"Yeah, you know with the shape and the-, don't act all defensive. I can hear it in your tone." In all truth she could, maybe getting under his skin like this was more interesting than allowing her mind to wander off into the unknown depths of her desires. "Anyway, Do you want me to give you that pair of tights that originally went with your costume?" Bouncy curls appeared before her head did, as she peaked around at him shooting a raised brow and stern look in his direction. "This is Lucy's first Christmas here in this realm. She deserves to have her grandparent and great grandparent to do something nice for her and her friends. You missed her birthday in the forest, in case that slipped your mind."

"It didn't. I sent gifts." He groaned the second she disappeared behind the screen again. "I just — It's going to feel weird stepping into this again."

"Stop acting like a big baby, Rumple and get the fuck out there."

"Regina, do you want me to come back that behind that screen of yours? If you insist on continually trying to make me leave in the way you are, I'll be forced to discipline you."

"Discipline me?" Walking out in a floor length red jacket, together at the center with a large black belt, she put a hand on her hip and leaned forward, looking him in the eye from where he was sitting on a bench in the back of the bar. "We're not in the Enchanted Forest, Rumple, you can discipline me all you want but know I give what I get." The nod towards how much she had taken from him in regards to her training was not lost on the imp, as his expression changed automatically to one that was remembering the fond moments when he was in charge of a budding apprentice.

So a friend of mine on Twitter just saw Endgame, apparently, and they’re freaking out, but saying they won’t spoil anything.

And then immediately say a specific thing that happens.

But not to who!

But does say their gender.

And while this isn’t terribly specific, it’s still WAY more than I want to know.  I’m a *writer*.  If you tell me *something happens* and then time to *think* about it, I’m probably gonna figure it out.  I knew the big twist of Sixth Sense just by someone telling me there WAS a twist.

So I don’t want my friend to freak out, so I message him and say hey, you’re dancing around stuff and saying a little more than I want to hear, so I’m gonna unfollow you until Friday night.

“But I didn’t spoil who Event happens to”

Just KNOWING an Occurrence is there, is a spoiler!

aaaaaa no it’s fine I was in a Bad Mood™ and venting my frustrations, a lot of what I was talking about is because I don’t put myself out there as much as I should, so people tend to forget I’m there. It’s not like they were intentionally leaving me out or anything (at least I hope not).