I mean, realistically:

1) I am a lesbian Jew, and any time period before Literally Now is going to be Very Extremely Bad for me, because even now is Not Very Good,

2) I get seasick just thinking about the concept of boats,

3) The ocean freaks me out, even as much as I love jellyfish and truly believe that they are the creature with which I share the most in common except, perhaps, another creature of the sea, the manatee: jellyfish are basically just A Nervous System Floating Around Eating Stuff And Being Agitated and so am I; manatees, like me, are Round and have No Defense System and Just Want To Be Left Alone To Bask In Solitude And Enjoy Life – and yet the ocean is terrifying to me! THERE ARE WHALES IN THERE! LIKE MORE THAN ONE WHALES! Like, A LOT OF WHALES ARE IN THERE and that is REALLY SCARY to me because what was threatening whales that made them need to be so big?! And are THEY still in there?! And why can’t we find them!?

4) I get panicky in crowds that are like, organized and happy, let alone crowds that are uncontrolled panic death stampedes, so I would literally get onto the deck and see the chaos and just fling myself over the side INTO the terrifying ocean, like, bye, I physically cannot handle the anxiety of possibly being crushed to death by humans I would rather be crushed to death by smokestack/lifeboat/water itself.

HOWEVER, that said, like, ROMANTICALLY, as in “looking at The Titanic Itself as a romantic feature of history, not the movie as a romance” I absolutely fucking would, although I feel like, again, lesbian Jew, and also a woman who lives now, I would probably get much angrier much more quickly at Everything than would be prudent, probably. Also corsets. What the fuck.

But if I could be a fly on the wall and just float around that gorgeous ship and see it in its gilded age sumpuousness and be able to get a better idea of the sheer size and scope of it, because that aspect is really hard to picture and imagine, I would love that. I want to see the Palm Court so badly, and the Veranda Cafe, and the different dining rooms and staterooms and just… something about just how ostentatiously wealthy the First Class passengers were is hard to imagine being real.

I don’t think I would want to be a fly on the wall for the sinking itself. Tragedy and panic and trauma on that scale, too, is something that I can’t wrap my head around, either, for all that I was facetious about it above. Like, I can understand (all too well) one-on-one, intimate crime, but just like mass horror, I am very lucky not to have experienced in my life [yet] (knock on wood oh my god why did I put that in writing am I an idiot).

Just the – like, I AM very afraid of how unbeatable the ocean is. You cannot tame the ocean. You cannot beat ice. You just can’t. You know?

And god, SO MANY children died. I like, I TRULY can’t. I t r u l y cannot. I can’t. It’s unconscionable.

I've been reading a collection of first hand accounts from Titanic survivors and it is FASCINATING!

[Non-allcaps version here.]

LISTEN, THOUGH, I’M LITERALLY THE PERSON WHOSE MOTHER MADE TO WRITE A 5-PAGE ESSAY ABOUT HOW JACK/ROSE WAS INHERENTLY ABUSIVE BECAUSE HE TAKES ADVANTAGE OF HER VULNERABILITY IN THE MIDST OF HER SUICIDE ATTEMPT AND USES EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION ABOUT HER FEAR OF CAL’S PHYSICAL ABUSE TO HELP HER SELF-ISOLATE FURTHER FROM HER MOTHER AND EVERYONE ELSE SHE’S EVER KNOWN IN ORDER TO GET HER TO CHOOSE HIM, AS THE CONDITION OF LETTING ME SEE TITANIC WHEN IT CAME OUT IN 1997, AND I FULLY ACKNOWLEDGE THAT IS 100% TRUE. JACK ABSOLUTELY PREYS ON ROSE’S VULNERABILITY, AND IN REAL LIFE, IF THAT WERE HAPPENING TO YOU OR YOUR FRIEND, YOU SHOULD GET OUT OF THAT SITUATION.

BUT JACK/ROSE IS ALSO ROMANTIC AS FUCK AND TITANIC IS MY FAVORITE GODDAMN MOVIE OF ALL GODDAMN TIME BECAUSE IT IS ROMANTIC AS FUCK EVEN THOUGH ALL THE ABOVE IS TRUE, BECAUSE LEO AND KATE HAVE CHEMISTRY AND THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AND DIRECTION AND EVERYTHING WORK TOGETHER TO CREATE THEIR DYNAMIC AS A ROMANCE, IN SPITE OF THE ABOVE, BECAUSE THE ABOVE IS AN UNINTENDED TRUTH THAT UNDERSCORES THE STORY BECAUSE JAMES CAMERON IS A MISOGYNIST DOUCHE AND CULTURE REPLICATES ABUSIVE PATTERNS IN MOST TRADITIONAL ROMANCE TROPES (THE FAKAKTA IDEA THAT “LOVE SAVES” BEING THE MOST COMMON, AND THE ONE CLEARLY REPLICATED, HERE). TITANIC WAS CREATED WITH THE INTENTION OF BEING ROMANTIC, DESPITE BEING SADDLED BY A LEGACY OF INHERENT MISOGYNY, AND EVERYTHING OVERT ABOUT JACK/ROSE’S SCENES TOGETHER WORK TO CONVEY THAT INTENTION OF ROMANCE. ULTIMATELY, ALTHOUGH FLAWED IN ITS EXECUTION, JACK/ROSE BOTH WANT THE SAME THING: ROSE’S FREEDOM AND HAPPINESS. (Side note, MOM, Jack even says to her that only she can save herself, and YES I KNOW THAT THE FACT THAT HE’S POSITIONED HERSELF AS HER ONLY ALLY AND CONFIDANTE DURING HER SUICIDAL IDEATIONS ON THE SHIP MAKES HIM SUSPECT IN SAYING THAT BUT GAH). ROMANCE, AS A STORY CONSTRUCT, IS PREDICATED ON TWO CHARACTERS WHO WANT THE SAME ENDGAME GOAL AND WHOSE JOURNEY TOGETHER TOWARDS THAT GOAL HELPS TO ANSWER THE OTHER CHARACTER’S “ESSENTIAL WOUND,” THE UNDERLYING WANT OR GOAL THAT DRIVES ALL OF THE CHARACTERIZATION OF THAT CHARACTER.

SO IN JACK/ROSE’S CASE, WE KNOW THAT BOTH JACK AND ROSE WANT ROSE TO FIND FREEDOM AND HAPPINESS, THEY BOTH WANT TO FIND A WAY OF LIFE OUTSIDE OF THE CONSTRAINTS OF EDWARDIAN SOCIAL STRATA, AND THEY BOTH WANT TO SURVIVE. ROSE’S ESSENTIAL WOUND, WHAT DRIVES EVERY ASPECT OF HER CHARACTERIZATION, IS THAT SHE WANTS TO BE SEEN AND ACKNOWLEDGED AS AN INDIVIDUAL HUMAN PERSON, NOT JUST A “SOCIETY WOMAN” WHOSE TRAITS DON’T EXIST AND WHOSE ONLY ROLE IN LIFE IS TO BE AN ACCESSORY PROCLAIMING THE WEALTH OF A MAN. JACK’S ESSENTIAL WOUND IS THAT HE WANTS TO BE SEEN AS WORTHY, AS IN A PERSON WITH WORTH IN THIS WORLD, IN A WORLD THAT IS DESIGNED FROM THE GROUND UP TO VIEW PEOPLE IN HIS SOCIAL CLASS AS LITERALLY WORTHLESS. IN SPITE OF THE FLAW IN CAMERON’S EXECUTION OF THEIR INITIAL INTRODUCTION AND HOW THAT COLORS THE SCHEMA OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP IN THE CONTEXT OF RAPE CULTURE, JACK/ROSE ARE A QUINTESSENTIAL ROMANCE BECAUSE EVERY ACTION THEY TAKE BOTH TOGETHER AND SEPARATELY IN CANON (ON-SCREEN, IN TITANIC’S CASE) AFFIRM EACH OTHER’S INDIVIDUAL ESSENTIAL WOUNDS AND COOPERATIVELY REACH THEIR SURFACE-LEVEL GOALS.

THAT JACK DIES IS WHAT MAKES TITANIC A ROMANTIC TRAGEDY, BUT IT DOES NOT NEGATE THAT ALL OF THEIR ACTIONS ARE BASED IN MOVING TOWARDS THE SAME GOALS BOTH IN-WORLD AND OUT-WORLD OF THE STORY. THE ACTUAL STORYTELLING BEATS OF TITANIC CREATE ENOUGH CONFIRMATION OF ROMANCE AS THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN THESE TWO CHARACTERS THAT EVEN CAMERON’S DUNDERHEADED INHERENT MISOGYNY DOESN’T PRECLUDE JACK/ROSE FROM READING AS ROMANTIC. SO EVEN I, AN AVOWED ANTI(TM), AM LIKE, “YEAH I ACKNOWLEDGE THIS SHIT’S PROBLEMATIC BUT SIGN ME THE FUCK UP IT’S HOT AND I LOVE IT.”

SO IT’S NOT LIKE ~*ANTIS*~ CAN’T BE NUANCED ABOUT THIS KIND OF THING? IT’S JUST LITERALLY THAT REYLO IS NOT ROMANTIC.

NOTHING ABOUT KYLO REN+REY WAS CONCEIVED, OR FILMED, OR WRITTEN, TO INDICATE ROMANCE. THE ONLY INTERPRETATION OF THEIR SCENES -- INCLUDING, YES, THE LEAKED NEW ONE -- THAT COULD ALLOW FOR ROMANCE IS A FLAWED VIEWING PREDICATED ON A MUCH MORE VIOLENT FORM OF MISOGYNY THAN WHAT GIRDERS JACK/ROSE. TO SEE REYLO AS ROMANTIC REQUIRES 1) THAT REY NOT BE CONSIDERED HER OWN CHARACTER/PERSON, BUT AN EXTENSION OF KYLO REN [in the context of in-world viewing, ie seeing the story from the inside as though it were real]; 2) THAT REY NOT BE CONSIDERED TO HAVE HER OWN STORY, BUT TO EXIST ONLY AS SET DRESSING IN KYLO’S STORY [in the context of out-world viewing, ie seeing the story as a piece of media], 3] ABSOLUTELY PRIVILEGING THE WANTS/GOALS/PHYSICAL INTEGRITY/VALUES/ETC. OF KYLO REN ABOVE REY’S WANTS, GOALS, PHYSICAL INTEGRITY, VALUES, AND LITERAL SAFETY. FROM JUMP, KYLO IS PRESENTED AS THE ANTAGONIST TO REY’S STORY -- AND YES, OF COURSE THE INVERSE IS ALSO TRUE, BECAUSE THAT IS THE NATURE OF PROTAGONIST-ANTAGONIST RELATIONSHIPS, BUT KYLO IS NOT AND NEVER WAS THE PROTAGONIST, SO IT ONLY FUCKING MATTERS IN ONE DIRECTION. REY’S.

REY’S SUPERFICIAL GOALS IN TFA ARE TO SURVIVE, TO DELIVER BB-8 TO THE RESISTANCE, AND TO RETURN TO JAKKU. HER “ESSENTIAL WOUND” GOAL IS TO GET CONFIRMATION THAT SHE MATTERS. KYLO IS PRESENTED FROM JUMP TO BE AN OBSTACLE TO EVERY. ONE. OF. THOSE. GOALS. AND HE NEVER DEVIATES FROM BEING AN OBSTACLE TO HER ACHIEVING THOSE GOALS. IN TLJ, HER SUPERFICIAL GOALS -- AS FAR AS WE KNOW NOW, AND LIKE, IT’S A STAR WAR, SO, IT’S NOT THAT DEEP -- ARE TO SURVIVE, TO DELIVER LUKE TO THE RESISTANCE, AND TO RETURN TO FINN. HER “ESSENTIAL WOUND” REMAINS THE SAME BECAUSE, NEWSFLASH, IT’S ESSENTIAL AND FOR THE SWST TO HAVE ANY SEMBLANCE OF COGENT STORYTELLING, IT MUST REMAIN THE SAME FOR THE ENTIRE TRILOGY: REY WANTS CONFIRMATION THAT SHE MATTERS. GIVEN THE LEAKS WE’VE GOTTEN? KYLO. STILL. WORKS. IN. OVERT. OPPOSITION. TO. HER. EVERY. FUCKING. GODDAMN. ASS. GOAL. HE IS STILL. HER ANTAGONIST.

BY THE NATURE OF HOW PROTAGONIST-ANTAGONIST RELATIONSHIPS WORK, THEY CANNOT BE ROMANTIC, BECAUSE THEY CANNOT -- CAN’T, CAN NOT, ARE NOT ABLE -- TO BE PREDICATED ON ACHIEVING THE SAME ENDGAME GOAL. BECAUSE THE ROLE OF AN ANTAGONIST IS TO OPPOSE THE PROTAGONIST’S JOURNEY TOWARDS ALL OF THEIR GOALS, BOTH SURFACE AND “ESSENTIAL WOUND” AFFIRMATION, THE PROTAGONIST AND ANTAGONIST INHERENTLY, NECESSARILY, AUTOMATICALLY, CANNOT HELP EACH OTHER IN A ROMANTIC CONTEXT TO ACHIEVE THOSE GOALS IN ANY OF THEIR STORY BEATS.

AND THEY FUCKING DON’T.

NOT ONE FUCKING BEAT OF TFA CAN BE BROKEN DOWN IN ANY RATIONAL, ACTUAL, NORMAL, LEGITIMATE WAY, TO SUGGEST THAT KYLO DOES ANYTHING OTHER THAN OPPOSE REY’S GOALS.

HE PHYSICALLY HARMS HER. HE EMOTIONALLY/MENTALLY HARMS HER. IN THE FOREST ON TAKODANA, IN THE FOREST ON STARKILLER, IN THE CHAIR ON THE FINALIZER, KYLO REN ACTIVELY WORKS TO OPPOSE REY’S GOAL OF SURVIVAL. HE IS NOT HOLDING BACK DURING THEIR FIGHT IN THE SNOW, YOU NUTBARS. NOR IS HE MERCIFUL AND TENDER WHEN HE VIOLENTLY AND PAINFULLY PENETRATES HER BODY FOR HIS OWN GAIN DESPITE HER PROTESTS AND TEARS. FUCK YOU.

HE IMPEDES HER PROGRESS TOWARDS THE RESISTANCE WITH BB-8. ONCE SHE’S ON STARKILLER? SHE HAS NO WAY OF KNOWING WHETHER BB-8 MADE IT TO THE RESISTANCE. FINN’S GONE, AS FAR AS SHE KNOWS. UNTIL REY REACHES D’QAR AT THE END, AS FAR AS SHE IS AWARE, KYLO REN SUCCESSFULLY THWARTED HER GOAL TO BRING BB-8, AND THE MAP, TO THE RESISTANCE.

HE DOES ACTUALLY SUCCEED IN OPPOSING HER GOAL TO RETURN TO JAKKU: NOT ONLY DOES HIS EXISTENCE ULTIMATELY CREATE THE SITUATION THAT LED HER TO HAVE TO FLEE IN THE FIRST PLACE (IF LUKE WEREN’T IN HIDING, THERE’D BE NO MAP/IF KYLO HAD NOT LED THE MASSACRE AT TUANUL AND ABDUCTED POE, BB-8 WOULDN’T BE ON JAKKU WITH THE MAP) BUT HE DOES SUCCEED IN CREATING CIRCUMSTANCES THAT HAVE, EVEN AS FAR AS TLJ AS FAR AS WE KNOW, PREVENT REY FROM RETURNING TO JAKKU. HE HAS DEFEATED HER ON THIS ONE OF REY’S GOALS.

OF COURSE, REY ONLY WANTS TO RETURN TO JAKKU BECAUSE OF ANOTHER OF HER GOALS, HER ESSENTIAL WOUND: REY WANTS TO KNOW THAT SHE MATTERS. AND IN TFA, REY’S PATH TO THAT UNDERSTANDING, AS FAR AS SHE CAN CONCEPTUALIZE IT, IS TO BE FOUND AND WANTED BY HER FAMILY. KYLO CANNOT HELP HER WITH THAT, AND, IF YOU WANT TO GET TECHNICAL ABOUT THE TORTURE SCENE, WHICH Y’ALL NEVER DO BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT IT’S A GODDAMN RAPE METAPHOR AND TORTURE SCENE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE, KYLO DOES ACTUALLY OPPOSE THIS GOAL IN THE MOMENTARY MENTION OF IT IN THEIR STORY BEATS TOGETHER: HE TAUNTS HER WITH HER OWN LONELINESS. SHE DOES NOT MATTER. SHE IS ALONE. IN TLJ -- WELL, I’VE TRIED NOT TO SPOIL PEOPLE SO FAR, SO I WON’T HERE, BUT SUFFICE TO SAY: HE DOESN’T EXACTLY GIVE REY ANY POSITIVE AFFIRMATION ON HER ESSENTIAL WOUND. “HE HATES HER, THIS GARBAGE-PICKER,” AFTER ALL.

BY THE NATURE OF THE ACTUAL STORY THAT WAS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ON THE ACTUAL SCREEN DURING THE ACTUAL MOVIE OF STAR WARS THE FORCE AWAKENS, AND AGAIN IN THE ACTUAL MOVIE OF STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI, IT IS LITERALLY NOT POSSIBLE, OR PLAUSIBLE, OR DEFENSIBLE IMO, TO SEE REYLO AS ROMANTIC. IT’S NOT. IT’S JUST LITERALLY NOT. IT IS LITERALLY, NOT A MISUSE OF LITERALITY, NOT ROMANTIC.

IF YOU’RE ALL TRYING TO SAY “WE KNOW IT’S NOT ROMANTIC, PER SE, BUT WE THINK THAT TORTURE-PORN AND SAD WHITE BOYS ARE SEXY ENOUGH THAT I DON’T REALLY CARE ABOUT REY AND JUST WANT KYLO TO GET SOME HOT WET HOLES AND REY IS THERE, SO, LIKE, THAT’S SEXY TO ME,” THEN JUST SAY THAT. BUT IT’S NOT FUCKING ROMANTIC.

what a fucking masterpiece of a movie

and honestly even at 20 years old of CGI, and even though i’ve seen a zillion documentaries and books about how they did all the special effects, the special effects are so fucking well done?? there are literally only two shots that my eyes notice as special effects (when Murdoch is walking up to Capt. Smith during the “King of the World” scene and the camera would have had to be at an impossible angle, and ooooone that I’m already forgetting because it’s p inconsequential)

HOT DAMN what a movie! there is NO soundtrack that gives me Feelings like james horner’s soundtrack for titanic, honestly