#**archie

unrelatedly what a fucking cop-out that riverdale resolved the quarantine without showing a single minute of it what’s the fucking POINT of creating that element of narrative tension/new situational schema -- and going on hiatus for a month to make it seem like it’s a turning point, natch -- and then completely ignoring it???? you know what would have been a lot more Dramatic and interesting than a fake-out grizzly bear attack??? RIVERDALE UNDER QUARANTINE

this podcast just said “stay weird, stay rude, keep being alive” and it’s like the version of my favorite murder that would be on riverdale where they can’t use any actual product names or slogans but they pick things just close enough to be embarrassing

also correct me if i’m wrong but high schoolers can’t just... start chapters of the innocence project??? and the innocence project doesn’t work on cases that don’t involve dna/forensics in the conviction??? (i might genuinely be wrong, and if so, do correct me bc i’m wondering???)

seriously how many times does shannon purser have to get eaten by a demogorgon before she’s allowed to play, like, other roles? jw

Riverdale, Season Three: Or, The Satanic Panic Returns to Middle America