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AU College Fic. Farkle never figured out how Riley really felt about Lucas, so it never got out. Now she’s turning 21 and the gang decides to go to Las Vegas to celebrate. Sometimes what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.

Rating: M (because of language, situations, and it’s Vegas, soooo yeah)

Pairing: Rucas

Word Count: 9,778

Cross-posted at ff.net

Soundtrack (although not at all organized and subject to edits)

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | J | Q | K | A | J |

Chapter Nine: The Curse of Scotland

Riley blinked several times to pull herself out of the memories of that horrendous night. She could practically taste the bile that had risen up in the back of her throat. “On second thought,” Riley called out to Asher, “A double shot of vodka sounds perfect.” When he raised an eyebrow at her, she smiled. “I know I’m going to want liquor later when we go out, and you know the saying ‘beer before liquor, never sicker’?”

Asher smiled. “Of course. Do you want a chaser for it?”

Riley shook her head. She had never consumed a shot without any sort of chaser, but she was on a mission. She had to get the memories of that stupid party out of her head and the quickest way to do that was to drink. She didn’t want to take the time to chase anything. She wanted to feel the vodka slowly burn down her throat. She wanted to feel something other than the emotional torture she had continued to put herself through over the last several years. It wasn’t healthy. None of it was. She wanted to forget that stupid dance. She wanted to forget the way his eyes pierced through her body and into her soul. She wanted to forget how he made her feel like she was the only girl in the world in those four minutes. One thing she didn’t want to forget was the sight of him wrapped up in the girl who would later become one of his many girlfriends. No, that memory had to stay. It was one of the few things that had kept her tethered to Earth after those 21 minutes spent with him the previous night.

“Good idea,” Lucas smirked, completely unaware of the brunette’s train of thought. He assumed that she changed her drink order to prove some stubborn point that she wouldn’t allow herself to be put in a situation like that again. It stung, but he knew it was the nature of the beast when trying to get under her skin. At the same time, he needed her to know that he had thought of those four minutes quite often. “I’d hate to have a repeat of the last time.” That had to be the biggest lie he had ever uttered. He was more than hoping for a repeat of last time. They never got to finish that dance. He never got the chance to prove her wrong, that they weren’t just good friends. He needed that. He had to show her that what happened last night wasn’t a fluke. They were made for one another.

He had tried to play by her rules. He tried to move on and forget her, but it didn’t work. It never worked. He tried everything he could think of, but it always came back to her. He knew that he could lose her forever, and that their fragile friendship wouldn’t survive the aftermath, but as the minutes slowly ticked on by, he knew that he had to take that chance. He couldn’t hide this any longer. He was angry at her for what she told him at the Dam. Oh, he was more than livid with her about it and about the fact that she was trying to make him jealous. She knew that if she flirted with Asher, he would lose his cool. After all, he had a history of being jealous of any guy Riley gave any attention to—the most notable being Charlie Gardner. Well, if she was determined to put someone in between them, then he was determined to draw her out from behind that barrier. He tried to ignore them at the restaurant, but it only stoked the fire that was threatening to erupt within him. If he could get under her skin a little bit, maybe he would distract her enough to where she would forget about Asher. He wasn’t part of this. This was about him and her. Maybe if he could keep her engaged in a conversation, even if it was a heated one, then maybe then they could stop whatever game they playing and actually talk about how they really felt.

Riley bit the inside of her cheek to keep from screaming or to keep herself from crying, she wasn’t sure which. Why was he being so mean? Were those four minutes so completely unbearable for him that he had to throw it in her face? Not to mention having to watch him suck face with a near perfect stranger an hour after it. That was the night she decided she had to figure out a way to push him away. Yes, they went to the film series at NYU that fall, but those screenings were the only real time she saw him. She knew they wouldn’t have much time to talk, and it was her way of slowly letting go. As she turned to look at him, she wasn’t sure how she would ever be able to fully let go of him. She hadn’t been able to yet, and that was before the events of the last 24 hours. Was she forever doomed to spend her life basking in the beauty and subsequent heart wrenching anguish of those 21 glorious minutes with him in that hot tub? Was he going to torment her in front of everyone for her four-minute dive into a world that could never be her own? Was he getting her back for turning him down earlier? Couldn’t he see that those pick-up lines weren’t going erase seven years of having to witness him parade around girl after girl in front of her? Riley had to act like his words had no effect on her. So, she tilted her head to the side as she pursed her lips. “That was the night you met Lauren, right?”

Lucas’s smile slowly faded as he looked into her smoldering orbs. He could no longer see where her pupils ended and irises began. He didn’t mention the party to bring up anyone or anything other than their little interlude in the living room. He certainly didn’t want to bring up one of the worst lapses in judgment he had ever committed. He knew she saw it. Zay told him as much the next day. He wanted to talk to her, explain that he was only trying to do what she had always told him to, but he didn’t. She told Maya that she still saw him as a friend, even after what he thought had been a real moment between them. There was no use in trying to explain that night to her. She never asked and he was too embarrassed to ever try to explain it. “Yeah,” he muttered as he turned away from her.

Dylan frowned as he slid into the seat on the other side of Lucas. “Who’s Lauren?”

“A girl I went out with for a few months freshman year,” Lucas answered as he looked up at Zay. His frown deepened when Zay’s lips curled up into a grin. Was everyone delighting in his past mistakes? How had it all spun against him so quickly?

“They met at a party,” Riley added. “I think his lips fell onto hers or hers fell onto his. I forget the story.”

Zay had no idea what Lucas was up to, especially when he mentioned their first college party. The scowl on his face told him that whatever plan he had was rapidly backfiring. “What do you want to drink?”

‘Finally,’ Lucas thought as he took a breath, ‘A little bit of help.’ “I’m going to keep it classy tonight,” Lucas began as he tried to rebound from Riley’s comeback. He smiled as he tapped his fingers against the counter. “In honor of the fact that we’re all dressed up, and I’m sure, will all act like grown ups tonight…how about a nice scotch?”

Riley rolled her eyes as she leaned back in her seat. She crossed her legs before she placed her forearm on the counter. It was her turn to lightly tap her fingernails on the counter as she eyed him from head to toe. “You drink whiskey all the time. Scotch isn’t that far off.”

Lucas inhaled a shaky breath as he watched the brunette cross her legs. He wasn’t sure if she was doing it to torture him for bringing up that party, or if she was simply unaware of the fact that every single move she made pushed him further toward the edge of his sanity. He desperately wanted to pull her to him at that moment, but instead, he stood up and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Are you really that concerned with what I put in my body?” His voice was deep and husky, full of pent up emotions that he had been able to keep at bay for years. He hadn’t had a drop of alcohol and yet, he was already coming apart at the seams. He knew at that moment that everything was going to come to a head tonight.

Goose bumps peppered the entire right side of her body as he whispered to her. As Riley reminded herself to breathe—in a desperate attempt to settle her rapidly unraveling nerves—she felt slightly lightheaded by the scent of his cologne. That smell was uniquely Lucas, so as she breathed it in, a million memories careened back to her, including those stolen moments at the Hoover Dam. She had to get a grip on reality. What was taking Asher so long with her drink? It was just a stupid glass of vodka. She cleared her throat before she forced herself to rotate her head in order to lock eyes with him. Their faces were mere inches apart. All it would take was for one of them to lean in a few insignificant inches to knock down the rapidly building tension between them. Riley would be damned if she gave into his biting comments. She had to be strong. She couldn’t let him see that everything he did affected her in some way, whether it was throwing their past in her face or ignoring her completely as he did at dinner. “Do whatever the hell you want to, Lucas,” she practically snarled before she turned back around to watch Asher pour her vodka into a glass.

Lucas’s smile didn’t waver as he slid back onto his chair. Inwardly, he knew that acting like a pompous ass wouldn’t get him anywhere with Riley, but he had to hold her attention. Maybe if the others wandered into the other room to play pool or something, he could talk to her about what happened earlier, explain that he wasn’t the guy she thought he was. Still, he knew that the odds of her putting herself into a situation where they would be alone would be very slim. So, Lucas decided to throw in a little honesty, even amongst their friends. He didn’t care what they thought, not about this. He didn’t care if they found out about their hookup. Maybe it would get Asher to back off. “Already tried to,” he sighed as he stared at the brunette next to him. “I got shot down.”

“Who shot you down,” Dylan asked him as he looked at the incredible liquor collection on the back wall of the bar. “For as long as I’ve known you, I don’t think any woman has been able to resist that southern charm.”

Lucas was suddenly very grateful for Dylan’s presence tonight. He only needed one person to ask the obvious. “Ah, I was bound to get turned down some day,” he drawled out as he turned to address Dylan. “The joke’s on her though because I could have given her something that would have lasted a lifetime.”

“And what was that,” Riley asked him as Asher placed the glass of vodka from her. She picked it up as she slid out of her seat. She was tired of whatever game he was playing with her. She knew that her heart would ache no matter what he did, but whatever this was, was more than she could bear at the moment. She was more prepared for him to stay away from her tonight. She thought for sure that he would be too preoccupied coming up with a game plan to get a group of co-eds back to the suite than to try to get under her skin. “An STD?”

“Woah,” Dylan’s eyes widened as he released a low whistle. “That was a major burn, Riley.”

Riley raised her glass to the Texan before she threw the contents back. She could feel every drop of it burn her throat as it slid down to her stomach. Part of her wanted a chaser, something to soothe the burning sensation she felt, but she’d much rather focus on that than whatever conversation she was in the middle of. She was furious with him. He had completely shifted her entire world and the moment she thought that maybe they could talk about it, he tells Zay that he wants to have a ‘real’ Vegas experience. “You know what Dylan,” she began as she sat the empty glass on the counter, “That’s probably the exact same thing that poor girl would have eventually said to him if she hadn’t turned him down.” She immediately regretted her words. She thought being cold would make her feel better, but she couldn’t do it. She wasn’t this person. She wanted to be happy. She wanted to have a good time. She didn’t want to think about the past. If only she hadn’t gotten into that stupid hot tub with him.

Lucas said nothing as he waited for Zay to pour him a drink. He knew he should drop it, and consider this round a loss, but her comments felt like nothing short of a slap in the face. She was the one who turned him down. Why was she taking cheap shots at him? As Zay sat his drink in front of Lucas, he looked at the amber liquid for a long moment. She had no clue who he was. That realization alone was enough to send him for a loop. “You’re one to talk,” he mumbled before he took a sip of his scotch. As soon as the words left him, he regretted it. The last thing he wanted was to start an ethical argument with her.

Riley shook her head as she processed his mumbled reply. “Excuse me,” she snarled as she narrowed her eyes at him.

“Nothing,” he answered before he downed the rest of his drink. “Zay, I need another.”

“Ok,” Zay slowly answered as he took the glass. He wasn’t sure what was about to happen between his enraged friends. It was definitely a cheap shot by Riley to insinuate that Lucas had an STD, but Lucas had been trying to get under her skin for the last ten minutes. Everyone in the room knew it—they just didn’t know why.

“He’s going to need more than that in a minute,” Riley responded darkly. She wasn’t about to let that comment slide—not from him. “What is your problem?”

“I don’t have a problem.” Lucas stared straight ahead at the bar as he answered her as evenly as he could. He knew that if he took one look at her, it would all fall apart. He thought that he would be used to her rejection, but for some reason, it felt so much worse this time. Maybe it was because he really put himself out there at the Dam. Maybe it was because this time he really tried to fight for her and she didn’t seem to care. Maybe it was time to say goodbye. First thing’s first. He had to get through the rest of this trip. “So, are we good?”

Riley stared at the glass on the counter for a long moment before she looked back at him. She had always known that she was going to get drunk for her 21st birthday. Now, she had a new goal in mind. She wanted to feel completely numb. For one night, she wanted to feel nothing. “As long as you keep the snide comments to yourself.”

He tapped his fingers on the counter three times before he finally turned to face her. “Likewise.”

Riley looked over her shoulder. “Asher, could you make me another one, please?” She gave him a smile as he reached for her glass. As she waited for him to pour her another drink, she looked back Lucas. “Fine.”

She was nearly numb by the time they finally reached Hyde. That was what she needed, what she had to be in order to forget everything else that had happened on this trip. She wanted to have fun tonight. She wanted to ring in 21 the way she wanted to ring in birthdays 15-20—without Lucas Friar on her mind the entire time.

By the time the group reached their table, midnight struck. Everyone at the table cheered and hugged the birthday girl as Maya bought the first round of drinks for everyone. When Farkle tried to protest, Maya held up a hand to him. “You’ve done so much for us on this trip, Farkle. I want to do this one.”

“We have such a good view of the Bellagio Fountains,” Riley smiled as she reached for her drink. This place was so perfect. She could get up and dance whenever she felt like it. She could go into one of the side rooms to watch the fountains. She could hang out in their booth. The ambience was perfect. The lights were dimmed and everyone was dressed to the nine’s. She didn’t feel too crowded. She had always dreamt of ringing in twenty-one like this. Maybe this year would be her year.

“Yeah, you can go on the patio out there and watch the show if you want to,” Farkle mentioned as he gestured in the direction toward the fountains.

“I will definitely be going out there at some point tonight.” She smiled softly as she looked around the club once more. “I know this trip has gone by so quickly already, but I just want to take a moment to thank all of you for being here.” She glanced at the drink in her hands before she looked up at the friends who surrounded her. “I couldn’t imagine a better way to ring in my 21st year.” She raised her glass. “Cheers to you guys…for being the best friends anyone could ask for.”

“Cheers to you,” Zay told her. “I think it’s safe to say that without you, the rest of us wouldn’t be friends. You’re the heartbeat of this little family, Riley.”

Riley smiled at him. “Thank you, Zay.”

“Ok, ok,” Maya shook her head. “I’m not going to get emotional. Tonight is for fun, only.” She looked all around them as she sipped on her drink. She grinned when she noticed the crowd of people dancing across the room. This was exactly what she had in mind to celebrate her best friend’s birthday. “Come on!” Maya sat her drink down on the table before she stood up and reached for Riley’s hand. “Let’s go dance!”

As Maya pulled her away, Riley forced herself not to look back at the group. Their little argument at the suite aside, she had done a pretty good job so far of creating some much-needed space between her and Lucas. It was pretty easy to do considering the fact that he hadn’t said much of anything to her since his biting comment about her one and only foray into the world of beer.

Everything had changed between them that night. Before then, she had been able to accept the fact that she was the one who created this whole situation by lying to him, but after that dance, after knowing that her feelings for him were stronger than she even realized, she knew that for the sake of her sanity, she had to step back, at least until she was able to move on.

Two years later, and she was still stuck, but now, it was so much worse than that night. She had actually tasted the forbidden fruit this time. Yes, her first kiss was with him on the subway when they were in seventh grade, but did that really count for anything? It was barely a peck and while she felt a little something at the time, it didn’t even compare to the fire his lips ignited when they brushed against her skin. As the alcohol danced through her system, the memory of his lips on her sent an electrical charge throughout her entire body. She thought consuming alcohol would allow her to forget him for a little while, but instead, it forced her to confront the fact that all he had to do was say the word and she would willingly give him every square inch of her body.

As she and Maya danced to the beat of the song, Riley closed her eyes when she could practically feel his hands slide across her body as he did that night two years ago. She had to finally admit to herself that their four-minute dance last year left her wanting more—so much more. Of course, a bucket of cold water had been dumped on her when she saw him devouring Lauren Montgomery’s face an hour later. Maybe that was why she had been able to resist him until now.

When she opened her eyes, she finally glanced back at their table. She spotted the guys in the booth, but quickly noticed that Lucas wasn’t with them. She frowned as she instinctively searched for him. Her heart dropped when she finally spotted him at the back bar. His elbow was propped up against the counter, his chin rested in the palm of his hand as he spoke with a drop-dead gorgeous blonde. Her stomach churned when she saw the smile plastered on his face. His earlier comments to Zay came careening back to her as she helplessly stared at the pair. It was happening all over again, only this time, it was going to hurt so much more.

Maya turned her head the moment she saw Riley’s smile falter. It took her a moment, but when she spotted him, Maya rolled her eyes. “I’m sure it’s nothing,” she told Riley as she turned back around to face her friend.

Riley took a deep breath as she forced herself to look away from the pair. They were barely inside of the club and he had already met someone. “She’s blonde. That’s…a change of pace.”

“Riley, come on! He was telling you a few hours ago how he wanted to be with you. Do you really think he’ll come to a bar and hit on the first girl he sees?” Maya felt that she knew Lucas pretty well. He wasn’t the same guy he was in middle school, but she was fairly certain she knew how he felt about Riley. There was no way that he would go out on Riley’s birthday and pick up a random girl hours after telling her that he wanted to be with her. Had he done some bone headed things over the last few years? Absolutely, but to Maya’s knowledge, he had never set out to purposefully hurt Riley. Even if she was resistant to their conversation at the Dam, Maya refused to believe that he would suddenly seek revenge on her. If he really loved her, if he really wanted a chance with her, he wouldn’t pick up a stranger tonight. Maya knew that, and she knew that Lucas knew that too.

But Riley didn’t know that. Riley only knew what she overheard earlier in the evening and what she had witnessed two years ago. If his comment earlier hadn’t stirred up all the memories of their first college party, then seeing him talking with that blonde woman would have. Riley looked down at the ground as she slowed her movements.

Maya frowned as she stopped dancing. “Riley? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing.” She looked back up at Maya. “It’s nothing,” she answered a little stronger. “It doesn’t matter. He wants to have a good time tonight…and so do I.” She tossed her hair to the side and closed her eyes as she tried to lose herself in the music instead of drowning in the memories of him. “You know what they say,” she began as her eyes remained closed, “what happens in Vegas…”

“Yeah…for most people, but not for Riley Matthews.” She glanced at Lucas before she turned back to the brunette once more. She had no idea what Lucas was doing at the bar with the blonde girl, but there had to be some logical explanation for it. There was no way he would give up on Riley in the middle of one conversation about their feelings for one another. Granted, Riley was a lot better at hiding her feelings than Lucas was, but Maya could tell that cracks were forming in the wall Riley had built around her heart. It was only a matter of time before everything came out. “You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. It’s a blessing and a curse sometimes.”

Riley shrugged. She had spent the first twenty-one years of her life playing everything safe, putting everyone else in front of her. Maybe tonight she could be a little selfish. Maybe she could make a mistake and have it not be the end of the world. Maybe she could act as careless as him. Maybe, for one night, she could send her brain and her heart on a little vacation and just enjoy being young. Wasn’t that what this entire trip was about? “Maybe just this once I could be that person.”

Maya stopped dancing as she reached for Riley’s hands. She was going to do her best to keep her eyes on the brunette tonight, but she also knew that if Riley wanted to do something stupid and reckless, nothing would stop her. “Please don’t get hurt. That’s all I’m asking.”

Riley nodded as she squeezed Maya’s hands. “I won’t. That’s why I’m doing what I’m doing…so I won’t get hurt and so I can enjoy my birthday.”

An hour into being at Hyde and he felt like a complete stalker. That was the only way to describe it. He had become Lucas Friar: stalker of Riley Matthews. He had kept an eye on her the entire time she was on the dance floor, even when that blonde woman tried to talk to him. He briefly entertained the idea of doing something ridiculously stupid just to try to forget about his rejection for a few miserable moments, but when Riley’s face flashed in his mind, he knew he’d never be able to do it. He was furious with her, that hadn’t changed, but he wasn’t about to slam the door closed on them forever. He had waited seven years. He couldn’t give up after one unfinished conversation.

So, he politely walked away from the woman once he got his second drink. As he settled back in his seat, he spotted Riley on the dance floor. She danced with Maya for a few songs, then Asher and Dylan stepped in and danced with them as one cohesive unit. Gradually, they broke off into pairs. He wasn’t sure how long Asher danced with her, but Lucas was well into his third scotch when the idea of cutting in hit him. He was trying so hard to let her do what she wanted. He didn’t want to be the guy who had to stake his claim on anyone. She was single, as was Asher. If they wanted to dry-hump on the dance floor, then Lucas should have the grace to let them do just that. He knew that if he exploded, if he stalked to the dance floor and barged in, it would only make her angrier. So, he desperately tried to keep his distance from the brunette while she was on the dance floor with Asher, but with every passing second, the inner voice he had been able to quell for so long threatened to burst. With every dance they shared, Riley and Asher’s initial awkwardness faded as they physically drew closer to one another.

He couldn’t stand it. Asher was one of his oldest friends, but Riley was his heart—fight or no fight, misunderstanding or not. He hoped that they would stop soon. His will was rapidly fading. He was either about to make a complete jackass of himself on the dance floor or bolt to the nearest exit. As he sat the empty glass down on the table, he knew that he wasn’t nearly drunk enough to do both. His emotions were threatening to boil over, but he still managed to maintain some of his sensibilities.

After awhile, he wasn’t sure how much alcohol he had consumed in that first hour. All he knew was that the bartender swiped his credit card, which set him up with an open tab. He had hoped that eventually, the alcohol would dull his senses and allow him to endure the show he felt forced to watch, but instead, with every drink, with every fleeting moment, his jealousy grew stronger and stronger. All he wanted to do was tell her just how much seeing Asher and her on the dance floor affected him. He was losing his grip on reality. Seven years of pent up emotions were swirling within him, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep it all in.

Riley fanned herself as she made her way back to the table. She had no idea how long she and Maya had been on the dance floor with the guys. All she knew was that she felt much better about everything that had happened earlier in the evening. She was there to have fun with her friends, and her time on the dance floor definitely provided her with a much-needed distraction.

When she reached the table, she was mildly surprised to see Lucas sitting with the guys sans the blonde woman. The endorphins swirling through her mind protected her from everything her heart was feeling. “It’s warm out there.”

“Drink this,” Zay instructed as he handed her a drink.

“Oh, this looks fruity,” she grinned as she examined the frothy, pink drink in her hands. She took a sip. “Oh, this is amazing!” It was cold and sweet—exactly the combination she craved at the moment. She took another huge sip as she bobbed her head to the beat of the song.

“Yeah, the bartender wouldn’t tell me what’s in it,” Zay answered, “I just said make the birthday girl something with strawberries.”

“It’s delicious!” She took another long sip as she swayed her body to the music.

He wanted to wait until they were both sober. He wanted to wait until it wasn’t her birthday. He wanted to hold off just a little while longer so they could really talk without an audience, but needing and wanting were two very different things. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stand it if she got back on that dance floor with Asher. He knew that he would explode and do something even stupider than what he did at that ridiculous party. He only needed a few minutes. He only needed forever. So, he finished off the scotch in his hands before he sat the glass down on the table and stood up. “Dylan, can you order me another one?”

“Yeah, sure. Where are you going?”

“Well,” he began as walked toward Riley, “It’s Riley’s birthday and I would like to dance with her. That is, if it’s ok with her?”

Riley nearly spit out her drink at his question. He wanted to dance with her? Had she heard him correctly? She thought for sure that he would want to stay as far away from her as humanly possible after their biting exchange in the suite.

She had no idea what she was going to do as she took a few more sips of the drink. Was she strong enough to handle one dance with him? Her track record wasn’t so good, and she was way more intoxicated now than she had been at that party. At the same time, she couldn’t help but to feel like he was challenging her somehow and she wasn’t about to back down from it. “Sure,” she answered as she sat her drink down.

He couldn’t help the smile that crossed his lips. He honestly didn’t expect her to agree to it. Was he actually going to get a few minutes alone with her? “Follow me,” he instructed as he offered his hand to her.

Riley looked down at it for a long moment before she placed her hands in his.

As they wandered through the club, she thought for sure that he would take her to the area where she danced with Maya and Asher, but instead, he turned left and led her outside. It was a much less crowded space. There were only a few people standing around due to the fact that it was freezing outside. Riley eagerly welcomed the cold chill. It felt good considering how overheated she felt inside. She smiled when she spotted a few couples dancing closely with one another. Other people seemed entranced by the Bellagio fountain show. As Lucas led her to a small corner, she couldn’t help but to notice that they were secluded from everyone else—even those who were outside with them. “Lucas, I think most people are dancing inside.”

“I know,” he responded as he turned to face her. “It’s why I brought you out here…away from everyone…away from the possibility of being interrupted again…somewhere that the music wasn’t quite so loud so that maybe for five minutes, we can be us…and not the us that we’ve been the last two days and definitely not the us we’ve been for the last seven years.” He gave her a small smile. “I want us to be the people we were before it all got complicated.” He slowly brought her hand around his neck before he lowered his hands to her waist.

As they began to sway to a beat that in no way aligned with the pulsating club music inside, Riley took a deep breath. “That…that was a really long time ago.”

“You don’t think we could ever be like that again?”

She shrugged. It wasn’t a simple yes or no question, but it was something that Riley had thought about for years. She still wasn’t sure of the answer. “We grew up. A lot has changed.” As she looked into his eyes, the intensity of his stare nearly made her knees buckle from underneath her. They had only been alone for a few seconds, but her body was already betraying her attempt at remaining guarded. It took her an hour to put the past out of her mind, and now, he wanted to bring it back up. She laughed nervously as she forced herself to look over his shoulder at the fountains. “I’m really not sober enough to have this conversation right now. Maybe we can wait until—“

“I can’t wait anymore.” He waited until she slowly lifted her gaze back to his before he continued. “Riley, please tell me what’s going on.” When she didn’t reply, he felt his carefully constructed walls come crashing down. He closed his eyes as he lowered his head to rest against hers. There was nothing more he wanted in that moment than a few minutes of honest clarity between them. Quite often over the last seven years, he had planned out several different scenarios for how he would do this, what he would say, how he would act, but all of that planning, of standing in front of his mirror and rehearsing, was for nothing. He could only say what he felt, and what he felt was unlike anything he had ever known before. His voice trembled when his pleas didn’t elicit a reaction from her. “I know you feel this too. I don’t want to fight. I just want to figure this out.” He swallowed harshly as he closed his eyes. He knew he had to brace himself for her rejection. “Please say something,” he begged as his voice cracked slightly.

“I don’t know,” she finally whimpered as she closed her eyes. Her heart raced from the sheer proximity of him. Her brain attempted to clear out the alcohol-induced haze she had eagerly welcomed not five minutes earlier, to no avail. This was too much for her to handle right now. She couldn’t think about something like right now—not after their conversation earlier and not after the all of the drinks they had consumed. Was he saying this just because he was drunk? Would he wake up tomorrow and regret this entire conversation? She couldn’t let her guard down while they were inebriated. It would hurt way too much if she found out that it wasn’t real.

Lucas took a deep breath as he pulled back from her. He knew he was putting a lot of pressure on her, but he had finally cracked. He wasn’t sure if it was because of what happened last night, that afternoon, or if after seven years, he had finally reached his limit, but either way, he didn’t care to hide from her anymore. He wanted her to remember the only decent part of the night of that party. He wanted her to remember just how amazing last night was. So, for a third time, he lifted his left hand in order to tuck her hair behind her ear as a soft smile slowly formed on his lips. “You’re driving me crazy, you know that?” His words seemed accusatory, but his delivery was so soft and reverent that it felt like a compliment.

Riley shivered as he tucked her hair behind her ear. Suddenly, the simple gesture seemed to mean so much more than what it was. She took a shaky breath as he leaned in closer to her. Her heart pounded even harder when she felt his lips lightly brush against her cheek. She closed her eyes at the sensation. How could a simple kiss on the cheek send a wave of excitement throughout her entire body and into her very core?

Because it was from him.

When she didn’t push him away, he pressed his lips to her cheek once more before he began to kiss along her jawline as he slowly made his way toward her neck. The only thought running through Lucas’s mind was that he had to be close to her. Whatever she wanted, he would give her. Thank God it appeared that she did not want him to stop his slow decent to the base of her neck.

Riley’s body betrayed her as she shivered against the feeling of his lips across her skin. She felt goose bumps instantly pop up along her arms and neck as he moved her hair to the side before he finally lowered his lips to the base of her neck. She slowly slid her hands down from the nape of his neck to his shoulders and finally his biceps as she leaned her head back to allow him better access to the flesh that he was currently adulating. “That feels so good,” she breathed as she quickly ascended back into the heavens he had sent her to last night.

He smiled against her neck while he placed his hands on her lower back. He nudged her forward in order to close what little space remained between them. He didn’t want to let her go. He wasn’t even sure if he could at this point. Whatever was flowing through him at the moment had to be flowing through her too. Something this powerful, this intense couldn’t possibly be one sided. He detached his lips from her neck as he lifted his head to look into her eyes. He had to know what was on her mind. He noticed that her lips were slightly parted and her eyes were closed. Was she was thinking the same thing he was? Did she crave this as much as he always had? Did she need him just as badly as he needed her? As he cupped her cheek, she slowly opened her eyes. As they stared at one another, he lightly ran his thumb across her bottom lip. God, he wanted to kiss her again.

“We shouldn’t do this,” she breathed. As the words tumbled from her, she knew that there was nothing she wanted more than to feel his lips and hands explore every square inch of her body. This felt too good. He felt too good.

“You keep saying that, but we keep doing it anyway,” he answered just as softly as he lowered his head. If she wanted to stop this, she would. If she wanted to go back inside and forget the whole thing, then she would. Only, she wasn’t moving away from him. As he inched closer to the sweet utopia that her lips possessed, he held his breath. When she closed her eyes and licked her lips in anticipation, he nearly groaned. That was the reassurance he needed. He now knew that she had been anticipating this reunion as much as he had.

The logical part of her brain that had stopped them earlier that day was long gone. It was replaced by the wonderful buzz that afforded her the chance to simply enjoy this moment. This was what she needed. She needed a night of recklessness. She needed to not think and simply give into what she had deprived herself of. When his lips finally brushed against hers, she realized that this was the perfect birthday present: another stolen moment with him. Despite the fighting and the unresolved anger that still simmered between them, nothing felt more truthful than this.

The softest of kisses slowly morphed into a quiet desperation for one another. Years of longing and suffering created this insatiable need for one another. Riley dug her fingernails into his back as she opened her mouth against his. She wanted to be closer to him. She had to be closer to him. She wanted the taste of him to be burned into her soul.

Lucas moaned into her mouth as she pulled him closer. He knew they were both drunk, and that this wasn’t the best way to start whatever it was that they were becoming, but at that moment, he didn’t care. He would never be so bold with her after a fight while they were sober. He would never have the guts to put himself out there mere hours after being rejected by her. He thought he’d spend the night trying to forget about the brunette in his arms, but ever since she stepped into the living room, he knew it would be impossible. When he saw her flirt with Asher, his heart ached. When he saw her press her body up against him on the dance floor, he knew that his will had finally collapsed. He desperately wanted to ignore them, but every instinct he possessed demanded that he show her how perfect they were for one another. She had to see that. There was no way that she didn’t know that now—drunk or not. They were made for one another.

His hands slid across her lower back as he nudged her forward so that she was completely flush against him. Riley sighed into his mouth when she felt his entire body pressed against hers. She needed more. She needed him to touch her, to explore her entire body if he wanted to. She knew they were in a public place, but they had found a small sanctuary in a darkened corner. They were practically invisible to everyone else around them. She wasn’t sure how far they would take it, but at that moment, she wanted it all.

His hands ran across the length of her back three times—each time he ventured a little further south. He wasn’t even thinking about what he was doing. All he was aware of was that his dream girl, the only one he wanted, but could never have, was slowly causing the destruction of ‘Lucas the Good’. Everyone around him would claim that he hadn’t been ‘Lucas the Good’ since middle school, but he knew better. He knew the truth, and right now the truth was that no one had ever extracted every single emotion from him at once—both good and bad. They had a lot to discuss, and lot to work through, but first, they needed this moment. He needed to feel her—to know she was real, to know that this wasn’t some dream. When he lowered his hands down her back a fourth time, Lucas finally forced himself to detach his lips from hers.

Pure instinct had taken over both of them. He closed his eyes as he rested his forehead against hers once more. His brain was spinning; his heart was swelling. Both of them were breathless, both charged on something they had never ever experienced before. “You want this,” he panted as his right hand slowly ran down the length of her arm. He interlaced his fingers with hers before he continued. “I know you want this, Riley, but I need to hear it. Tell me.”

“I do,” she breathed as she closed her eyes. She was going to hell and she was going to be completely destroyed the entire way down, but this felt too good. Her entire body hummed as her heart raced. Truthfully, she had never wanted anything more. “I want you, Lucas.”

“Let’s get out of here,” he said softly as he pulled back from her. He lifted her hand to his lips before he placed a kiss to her knuckles. “Go back to the hotel room…talk…”

“I can’t,” she groaned as she felt some of her common sense coming back to her. “It’s my birthday party and everyone is here.” She looked away from him long enough to glance inside. She couldn’t see their table, so she wasn’t sure where their friends were, if they were waiting for her, or even how long she had been gone. As she turned her head back to him, she knew that the hypnotic spell she was just under had faded. “And I don’t think we should talk about this right now.”

He slowly detached his hand from hers as he took two steps back from her. His smile slowly faded into a frown as he processed the meaning behind her words. She still didn’t want to talk to him about this? “Why not?”

“We’re drunk,” she answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “We can’t talk about this while we’re both hammered.” She waited a beat as she crossed her arms over her chest. His earlier comments at the hotel, not to mention the image of the blonde woman at the bar, rang through her mind. “I’m not some random girl at the bar. I’m not going to listen to a bunch of stupid promises to only have you leave my bed in the morning and never call me back.”

Lucas’s eyes narrowed. “You still think that this is a random hookup, don’t you?” How? After every that happened, how could she possibly think that? Did she not feel the same thing he did?

“I don’t know,” she answered as she shrugged her shoulders. “I know…I know what I see…what I’ve heard.” She wasn’t prepared for this conversation. She could barely think right now, let alone go another round of arguing with him. Couldn’t they just go back inside, enjoy the night, and talk about it tomorrow when they were both sober?

Her words stung. He knew he should walk away before they got into another argument, but he wasn’t exactly thinking logically as the scotch swirled within him. He was only thinking emotionally and irrationally, with was a lethal combination when mixed with alcohol. “What about you, Riley? You like to put all of this on me, but as I seem to recall, you’ve never made it past a handful of dates with a guy.”

Riley bit her bottom lip. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He didn’t know anything. He didn’t know that she didn’t make it past the first few dates with anyone because she realized that she couldn’t replace the man who stood in front of her. He didn’t know that she had been searching for someone to make her forget how she felt when she was around him, but that so far, she had yet to find anyone who even came close.

“Just like you have no idea what you’re talking about in regards to my relationships.” She didn’t know that he was only trying to survive the tag she had placed on their relationship. She didn’t know why he couldn’t make it work with anyone past the two-month mark. She had no clue that when it came down to really committing to someone, that he couldn’t because of her—because of how he felt about her.

His jealousy began to bubble back up along with his anger. Was she trying to push him away because she had already found someone? “What’s going on with you and that Steve guy?”

Her eyes widened. “That’s none of your business.” How was all of this getting turned around on her? She wasn’t the one cozying up to some blonde at the bar. She was the one who was trying to talk this through logically. Clearly, they didn’t need to be having this discussion right now. They were both too drunk and too emotional. The last thing she wanted was to completely wreck whatever shred of friendship that remained between them.

Lucas didn’t pick up on the hint that she didn’t want to talk about this right now. All he heard was that she wanted to keep whoever this Steve guy was a secret. Well, fine. She wasn’t obligated to tell him anything about that, but he felt that he did deserve to know about what was going on with her other suitor. “And what about Asher? He’s one of my best friends, but I had to watch you dance all over him for an hour, Riley. It killed me!”

She could practically see red as her hands began to shake in an anger she had been able to repress for seven years. Had he no idea what he actually just said? Did he really have no clue what hell she had been dragged through over the last several years? “Oh,” her voice rose. “That killed you, Lucas? THAT killed you? How do you think it felt for me when I had to watch you and Maya date in middle school? She’s my best friend, but you had no problem dating her anyway, did you?”

“Because you told me to,” he bellowed. How could she possibly throw this back at him? She told him that he was like a brother to her and that he should date Maya. She was the one who pushed him toward her in the first place. He lowered his voice as an unresolved pain splintered through his words. “You told me to date Maya. You told me that there was something going on between her and me. You told me that I was your brother, Riley. You told me that there was nothing going on between you and me and that I should be with her.”

“And you listened!” Tears swam in Riley’s eyes as she felt that brick wall around her heart finally tumble down. For years she had wanted to have this conversation with him, but always chickened out. Now, it was the absolute worst time for any of this to happen, yet here they were—rehashing their past in the middle of a Las Vegas club. “Some part of you knew that there was something more between you two or else you wouldn’t have done it!”

Lucas started to shake his head when he suddenly stopped. He was intoxicated, so his brain felt fuzzy, but suddenly, it felt like everything around him became crystal clear. When he looked back up at her, he noticed the unshed tears that swam in her eyes. Everything suddenly made perfect sense. “You lied to me.” It wasn’t a question; it wasn’t even an accusation. It was simply a statement that she didn’t have to confirm or deny because he already knew the truth. She lied to him.

Riley didn’t answer as she pursed her lips together and her eyes fell to the ground. Was this actually happening right now? She had waited so long for him to figure it out. Part of her had hoped he never would, but an even bigger part of her always knew that one day, he would discover the truth: that she never, not even for a second, saw him as a brother.

“You told me that you saw me as a brother, but that wasn’t true, was it?” He didn’t wait for her to respond. “You saw…something…between Maya and me and…and you stepped back.” A bitter chuckle exploded from him as he connected the final piece of the puzzle. “It all makes sense now!” He shook his head in disbelief as he stared at her. All this time. All these years. “You have no idea how often I replayed every conversation we’ve ever had. How I tried to figure out what I did, where I went wrong to make you see me in a different light. You have no idea how long I’ve waited for an answer.”

“Yeah, you waited such a long time,” she finally snapped back at him as her own resentment poured from her. “The moment I told you that, you turned around and went out with my best friend!” She shook her head as she forced herself to not give into the urge to cry. She wasn’t going to cry tonight—not about this and not about him. “And ever since then, you’ve been running around with any girl who gives you the least bit of attention, so excuse me for being hesitant about anything you’re telling me right now.”

“Meanwhile, you’re out there shaking your ass against one of my best friends,” he seethed. He wasn’t sure what he felt at the moment: he was plagued by a deep seeded anger that he had never felt before, the jealously that filled his veins had his mind in a vice grip, but at the center of it all was the woman he loved more now than ever before. “You know exactly what you’re doing…and you know what? It’s working. I’m losing my damn mind right now because of it. Watching you act like that with someone else is killing me, Riley.”

Maybe if she were sober, she would feel more sympathetic about the fact that a bomb had just been placed in his lap, but she wasn’t sober. She didn’t want to talk about this right now, but he had pushed her. And now, he had pushed her too far. He had to know that what he was experiencing right now was something she had to experience over and over again for years. “For one hour, you got to see me dance with someone else. For seven years, I had to watch you parade girl after girl in front of me, so excuse me for not apologizing to you for living my life.” When he opened his mouth to respond, she cut him off. “And for your information, I like Asher. He’s a really nice guy and we’ve been friends for a while now. Whatever is going on between him and me is between him and me. It has nothing to do with you.”

“But it does,” Lucas insisted as he took a step closer to her. “It has everything to do with me because I know that you want to be with me.” His eyes slowly raked over her body. He was still completely furious over the fact that she did what she did when they were in 8th grade, but all he wanted at that moment was to take her in his arms, go back to their hotel, and spend the rest of his life making up for the fact that he didn’t see this sooner. “Two minutes ago, you were ready to give into this.” When she took a step back from him, he lifted his eyes back to hers. “Now, you’re just going to run away…go back inside and what? Hook up with Asher tonight?”

Her knees went weak when he inched closer to her, but as a blend of anger, love, lust, and jealousy swirled within her, she knew that she needed a break from this entire situation. “I’m not you,” she grounded out as an image of Lauren and that blonde woman came to her mind. “I don’t run around sleeping with anyone who’s ready, willing, and able.”

“How can you possibly believe that all I want from you is a one night stand?” His anger quickly dissolved into a despondency that immediately shut down any sense of fight he had left in him. If she wanted to think that, after everything that happened the last two days, then what else could he do?

“Well, you brought me out here, and after what, two sentences of conversation, you start kissing me. What am I supposed to think right now?”

He couldn’t take it anymore. He needed another drink and he needed to get some space from her while he tried to figure everything out. “You’re wrong, Riley,” he muttered as he breezed past her.

Riley bit the inside of her cheek in order to keep herself from crying. She looked up as the Bellagio fountains sprang to life in front of her. She wrapped her arms around herself as she watched the show for a moment. It would have been an incredible memory to make with the right person, but as she looked around her, she realized that this was one memory she alone would have.

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