#(semi.)

if anyone, ygor would be the one to tell her how to feel better about herself. this wasn't her ideal setup, not really, to have your best friend sleeping in your couch only because you were too much of a hassle last night scream fighting him not to leave your house after you got so drunk you puked your stomach out after he gave on an entire speech about how great of a person you they were. semi wasn't on her right mind, at all, and she couldn't believe her coworkers would let her go in such proximity to alcohol again after the last fiasco she masterminded by sneaking into the company building at 2am in hopes — and she quotes — "to tell zeev he is the best leader of the 10th gen of kpop", being quite adamant about it too. they made fun of her for at least a week and every so often they'd remember all the embarrassing and absurd stuff she did, not even once daring to stop her if she was such a hassle! but then again, it was always her fault for rushing everyone to their favorite bar at the end of every week or so, moving them with her words saying how much they deserved a break after the week they just had. ridiculous, she would always regret it.

it was on her quirky agenda when she began working at ong entertainment just as she got her masters in arts by the seoul university, to be as utterly annoying as she possible could just to have everyone not expect much from her and the deliver the best she could, to surpass expectations every time. but now, years going in, everyone already knew pretty much of what semi was capable of, and often coming off as the brain for the most ludicrous and utterly expansive ideas, she did deliver every single time and she fucking loved doing so. but oh hell, who would expect it would all come at the expanse of losing the majority of her social life, romantic relationships being as inexistent as ever? semi was content to have the best friends she could possibly have, even when they were butting heads in the office fighting for what color should best define the outline of powerpoint presentation. and heavens she actually never dated anyone in her life! having her first kiss at age fourteen stolen by one of the ugliest boys in school just because she offer him an act of kindness wasn't the most romantic tale of all, so instead, she would flourish it by telling how she dated this boy, who wasn't all that pretty but would compensate with how much he doted her. — amazing at telling lies and best at keeping everyone believing her.

none of it matter when she knew the truth, telling herself that maybe she was the problem after all. semi wasn't quite as pretty as her famous friends or as special as the people she managed, not even as cool as her friends, she was just funny and average. she was okay with that most of her life, it made her relatable and good at her job but the years were passing and she feared she was taking for granted the time she had to choose to do something different with her life. hence the reason she cried on her best friend's shoulder last night, giving the poor boy no spare time to formally form a sentence without interrupting him by asking if he loved her, by telling how he was the only one for her ever, by asking if she was going to die alone and if he would die with her, dragging him to her apartment because she was too drunk to remember her own address and — i repeat — going as far as jumping on his back to keep him from leaving her alone in her misery on her small apartment that felt inexplicably enormous last night. by all accounts semi did believe ygor was the only person who would ever come to know her as herself in her life, there couldn't be anyone like him in this world. he was kind, talented, courteous, gentle, a little bit too handsome for a boy his age, and also had the cutest laugh she ever heard — so why the hell was he alone on a friday night choosing to spend it sleeping on his best friend's couch, semi couldn't comprehend.

obviously, she should have felt guilty about it and embarrassed too, but when it came to her crossing her living room to her bedroom, she couldn't help but stop midway staring lovingly at the way his eyes were peacefully shut, how he was clinging to the blanket he knew where to find after having similar situations happened before. if at least the boy she brought to her apartment did romance her in any way, but no, ygor would care for her and sleep on her couch. sometimes she wasn't even that drunk, sometimes they were just working, and sometimes he would say her apartment was closest to their work when she knew from his home address that this was a lie, but she indulged herself in the fact that maybe he just didn't like to have the path to work alone — she didn't either. they were best friends, best friends who would sneak each other glances at their tables, know each other's lunches by heart, go as far as finish each other's sentences, and filling in for every other significant role in their lives. well, now it was saturday morning and she was hungry, her best friend was the best company she could ever have to have brunch together. semi was already filling her mind with how they could stroll around town for a "field-day" — which they so affectionately called the days where they would run away from the office to walk outside and mad endlessly stupid trips for all kinds of places, just to have their creativity strike or just to piss everyone that they could leave and use the excuse that they were working — have brunch at an expansive place saying they would put on the company card and then not doing so because they were two chickens, maybe even sharing ice cream, semi wasn't a fan of sweets but she knew ygor would like it.

thoughts running through her mind for god knows how many minutes since she had been standing in her living room, a side smile on her face still watching him, suddenly being taken back by his eyes opening slightly while fighting to adjust it to the sunlight on his face. semi quickly darted back to reality, making a one hundred and eight degrees back to the room from which she came from, forgetting why she was standing there in the first place. not to be bothered by him calling her name when she nonchalantly picked up her jacket from the floor, pretending she was tidying up her apartment after the mess she left last night. "and of course, i took off this many clothes and it was not for sex." she wasn't poking on anything really, her mouth was just going on as it did and she wasn't in any point of regretting what she said until she remembers everything she just thought of ygor and how he might have to take it. how would he though? — no, no, not going there. — she handled herself before going any further with futile ideas. "i'm so hungry, get up and let's eat!" she was up in a second, finally making way to the bathroom and shutting the door, the time out wasn't an excuse, she really needed a shower after last night and the moment she just had too. a shameless, idiotic, unspeakable woman who lives alone in her dream world finding inspiration in the most humane man able to break into her dreamland.

(★       ✮ ---------  “  Toni,  reconsider.  ”  Steve had pulled her off to        ✯       ☆ the  side so that the two of them, could discuss the matter of the accords on their own time. ａｗａｙ from Wanda, Vision, Sam and Rhodes, Natasha. He hadn’t wanted their audience to somehow strengthen or weaken her resolve, all he wanted was HONESTLY in between the two of them and nothing else.  “Can you tell me, and I need you to look me in the eye when you say it, that you honestly believe this is the RIGHT way to go about our operation.”