#(junseo)

"you forgot, didn't you?" junseo's face shows a split second of confusion and turns into and oh. he knits his eyebrows together and mutters, "why today out of all days?" followed by a sigh. maybe it wasn't meant for you to hear those words or maybe he said it loud enough so you could hear it on purpose.

"do you even care, jun?" he doesn't answer. the silence was deafening. you patiently waited to hear his voice. more than two minutes passed in absolute hush. he couldn't see your face but the light on one side of the room illuminated half of your face, enough to see a tear run down your cheek. you let out a quiet sigh, picked up your things and walked away. and the worst part was he didn't even follow.

⟡

JIAHAO walks next to you, his body rather stiff and unusual. your hand is linked with his as you both pass through strangers among a huge crowd at his company's event. he keeps fidgeting, looking around and stealing glances at you.

just when you have a seat for dinner, he clears his throat. "uh y/n?" your eyes darted to him. "when are you gonna move out? i mean have you found a place to stay yet?" you have been staying at jiahao's place for time being, as you simultaneously looked for a place to stay after your graduation. the landlord didn't know you were there without rent and it was a shared space between two people, so it was a secret from him.

you raise an eyebrow at him. "i mean- my new flat mate is gonna move in soon and she needs the place empty by next week. she wouldn't like you there." she? "do you know her, hao?" his face drops hue as he says, "uh no not really, but i think her name is jiah?"

the name was oddly familiar. you told him that you would soon move out, but you kept rummaging through your memories to recall where you heard that name. the dinner was silent and as you took the last bite of your food, it struck you. "bro why is jiah back in your dms damn! does she perhaps want you back?" leo's voice rings through your ears.

"oh."

all you did was smile through the night, his hand resting on yours but every subtle touch felt like a thorn knowing he wasn't yours anymore.

⟡

LEO was acting quite out of character for almost two weeks. staying at sangwon's place most of the time. 'work' was his excuse, but it seemed too off to be just work. you might be an overthinker but this time the gut feeling was too strong and loud.

So one day you were just on a date, which he seemed to be quite uninterested in. you both were taking a walk at the park, staring at the greens and barely talking. hands were held but he let go after a kid ran through between you both and you extended your arm. it went unnoticed and he didn't make an effort to hold it again.

A huge sigh left his lips.

"y/n, i can't go on like this."

"what's wrong?' your heart pounded against your chest so loud.

"i don't feel the same towards you anymore. it's so suffocating to be with you. it's not like i dislike you but... i just am not able to do this anymore. I tried i really did."

you were prepared for the worst but you didn't know the worst would hurt this bad. it felt like you lost everything that was at hand. everything that you loved. you had to say something but words wouldn't come out so you just stared at him.

He could sense that you were broken. he leaned forward, pressed a soft kiss on your forehead, muttered "im sorry" and all you could see was the love of your life walking away from you, disappearing into the grey path which you didn't seem to know the end of.

⟡

GEONWOO sat on the couch which was sitting right at the middle of the frat house, laughing and drinking along with his friends. he has been avoiding your calls and texts and it's been more than three days that you've seen each other. you missed him a lot and it was rare that you guys went three whole days without talking.

seeing him laughing and smiling softened your heart despite the hurt that creeped at the edges of your chest, when you learnt that he's been partying and avoiding you. you walk to the front of the couch awaiting his reaction to see you there.

instead, his lively gaze snapped to annoyance. the change of demeanor was quite evident and it stung. he grabbed your arm and guided you outside, his grip quite harsh on your skin.

"why are you here?"

"what do you mean sweets we haven't even talked in a while and i miss-"

"oh that again. you're so fucking clingy and im tired of you." tears came rushing from the back of your head to the brim of your eyes. you saw annoyance written on his face and you could hear your heart break little by little. you were sure he heard it too.

no other words were uttered. your tears that dripped down your face made his eyes roll with displeasure and he walked away from you, leaving you all alone with a broken heart and the saddest story.

⟡

SANGWON stood in front of you drenched in midnight rain, panting and tired. it looked like he had something to say. something unpleasant. it was around 2 am and you were a little shocked to see him in such a state at your front door, and the absence of words from him made you anxious.

you whispered to him that you'd get him a towel for him to dry himself, but he held you back by his palm on your wrist, shaking his head no. you raised an eyebrow in question and that's when he sighed.

"y/n i need to tell you something, it's really important and... heavy." you nod as your stomach churns because of the anxiety.

"we need to break up." need? his voice started to break as he spoke. "my mom is sick, right? we need to go to new york for her treatment. my brother has called and all the arrangements have been made. including college."

"i get it. i understand. it's fine you know i can wait for you how much ever long. all i have to do is wait right, we can do long dista-"

"y/n im not coming back." huh? "we're moving away to live with my brother. im not coming back." this wasn't even remotely close to what you wanted to hear on a friday midnight. you couldn't utter a word. sangwon murmured something which you didn't even take notice of. he stepped back, and out of your main door, shutting it gently so as not to startle you.

even in times like this he is gentle. you knew he didn't mean for this to happen, but sometimes slow poison hurts worse than a blow on the head.

⟡

XINLONG stands still while you let out a puff of your 4th blunt for the evening. situations made you an addict and despite all that he loved you. well, he thought he could fix you. fill your voids with his love and corner you away from all the bad things that made you the way that you are. he knew you weren't a bad person, but little did he know that you were stubborn as hell.

"i can't be with you." your hand pauses as you are about to near the blunt to your lips. "what?" "i cannot be with someone who isn't willing to become a better person. being with you makes me anxious because you're never safe, getting high and into trouble. there is absolutely no change in anything you do. i understand you need time but i think we've had ample of time for almost a year. i don't expect you to flip around completely but you're getting worse. you're ruining yourself, along with my efforts to be there for you and also my will to be there for you. you're ruining us." what he said was true, but hurtful. it was true but you had no strength to revive yourself. wounds too deep, mind too messed to even try.

and so you let go. "fine. im sorry. i understand where you're coming from and i wouldn't want to hold you back. hope you live a better life, genuinely." you turn away, trying to light another blunt but the fucking lighter won't work.

snap. snap. snap.

it finally lights up. you hear footsteps getting farther and your mouth parts with a sigh. the blunt falls to the floor and it feels like your chest is being ripped apart. the guilt and the helplessness make you feel like trash, but you decide to live with it, because how does it matter when you've managed to lose the only person that ever cared about you.

⟡

ANXIN barges into your room, tears filled in his eyes and his face red. you wonder how he even reached up here. your mom might've let him in but you get diverted as he holds out a photograph in front of you.

"is this real?" it's you and another guy from class 1c, holding hands. how did he even get hold of it? you don't answer and just sigh.

"how did you get that?" he looks baffled by your words. "is this real?" his voice shows urgency laced with hurt and anxiety. you brush your hair back with your left hand. you start to panic.

"who gave it to you, zhou anxin? and who is this person who's taking pictures of me-"

"really? THAT is your concern?" he sounds betrayed and extremely in despair. tears start pooling in his eyes and drop down like in a race.

you stay silent, eyes never meeting his. you had no explanation and the message got across to him. he let's out a wavering sigh, dropping the photograph on your bed, walks out of your room while wiping the tears on his cheek with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

all anxin felt was sorrow and he didn't even know if he could handle it. his chest ached so bad as he kneeled in front of your main door, immediately after shutting it and let out a wail. never has he ever cried so bad. afterall, he loved you the most.

⟡

SANGHYEON didn't know how to explain it to you. not that he was guilty. it was just a game with his boys. the school rooftop air was chiller than expected and it wasn't helping at all.

"so this was all a bet?" you choke out, the lump in your throat hurt enough for it to be shown in your words.

sanghyeon just nodded, straightening his body while slipping his hands into his pocket. no remorse to be found on his features.

"do you understand how hurt i am?"

"hurt? y/n it hasn't even been than long since we've been in the so called 'relationship'. what's there to get so hurt over?"

"sanghyeon, i liked you. for real." he looks uninterested and quite done with you.

"take a damn joke y/n. it was a game with the boys. aaaand i won the bet. if you like me so damn much, be happy that i didn't lose to them."

"so fucking mature of you chung sanghyeon. you're an asshole." all you could do was walk away. hurt and anger weighed heavy in your chest but what can you even say to an imbecile.

The snow was falling in thick, fluffy flakes outside the window, dusting the driveway of your childhood home in a pristine layer of white. Inside, the house was a whirlwind of activity—the scent of cinnamon and roasted pine needles filling the air, the distant sound of Christmas carols playing on the radio, and the low hum of your family’s laughter.

But in the passenger seat of the parked car outside, Kim Junseo was having what could only be described as a minor existential crisis.

He was dressed in a soft, cream-colored cable-knit sweater that made him look even more like a literal angel than usual, but his eyes were wide, and his hands were gripping the gift bags in his lap so tightly his knuckles were turning white.

“Junseo-ah,” you said softly, reaching over to place your hand over his. He jumped slightly, his head snapping toward you. “Breathe. You’re going to pass out before we even get to the appetizers.”

He let out a shaky breath, his shoulders dropping just an inch. “Y/n, what if they don’t like me? What if I say something weird? Or what if I accidentally use the wrong honorifics because I’m nervous? I’ve been practicing my greeting in the mirror for three days, but now my mind is just… blank. It’s a snowy void.”

You couldn’t help but giggle, leaning over to press a quick, reassuring kiss to his cheek. “My parents are going to love you. You’re charming, you’re kind, and you’re currently the cutest person in this entire zip code. You’ve got this.”

Junseo looked at you, his lower lip jutting out in that tiny, unconscious pout he did when he was seeking comfort. “Promise you won’t leave my side?” he whispered.

“I promise,” you smiled.

➽──────────────❥

The moment you stepped through the front door, the warmth of the house hit you. Within seconds, your mother was at the door, beaming. Junseo immediately straightened his posture, performing a bow so deep and formal it would have been appropriate for a meeting with royalty.

“Hello! I am Kim Junseo. Thank you so much for inviting me to your home. It is an honor to meet you.”

His voice was a little higher than usual, a tell-tale sign of his nerves, but your mother’s face immediately softened. “Oh, look at him! He’s even more handsome in person. Come in, come in!”

As the afternoon progressed, Junseo was a model of politeness, but you could see the pressure building. He was nodding so intensely at your father’s stories that you were worried he’d get whiplash. Every time your aunt asked him a question, he would tilt his head slightly, listening with such intense focus that his eyes would go a bit round and sparkly.

Finally, after twenty minutes of being the "Perfect Potential Son-in-Law," he leaned over and whispered in your ear, his voice tight. "I... I'll be right back. Just need to wash my hands."

You watched him walk down the hallway with a slightly stiff gait. When five minutes turned into ten, you excused yourself and headed toward the back of the house. You knocked softly on the bathroom door. "Junseo? You okay in there?"

"Yeah! Just... admiring the tile work. It’s very... geometric," came a muffled, strained voice.

You rolled your eyes affectionately and pushed the door open. You found him leaning over the sink, his hands gripping the porcelain edge. He had splashed some water on his face, and a few stray droplets clung to his eyelashes. He looked up at you through the mirror, his expression a mix of exhaustion and raw nerves.

"I'm doing okay, right?" he asked, his voice cracking just a tiny bit. "I didn't bow too low?"

"You're doing perfectly," you said, closing the door behind you and clicking the lock.

The sound of the lock sliding into place seemed to snap something in the air. The small, tiled room suddenly felt much warmer. You stepped into his space, sliding your arms around his waist. "You're so tense, Junseo-ah."

He let out a long, shaky exhale, turning in your arms to face you. The "idol" mask he usually wore—the one of perfect composure—slipped completely. He looked at you with such intense, focused longing that it made your breath hitch.

"I'm just so glad you're here," he whispered, his hands coming up to cup your face. He leaned down and captured your lips with his.

It wasn't like the sweet, chaste kisses you usually shared. This was heavy, desperate, and fueled by all the nervous energy he’d been bottling up. Junseo groaned low in his throat and backed you up against the closed door. His hands moved from your face to your waist, pulling you flush against him. The kiss deepened, becoming a messy, heated exchange.

Junseo’s usual shyness was gone, replaced by a sudden, hungry assertiveness. He began to trail kisses down your jawline, his breathing coming in short, jagged gasps. As you pulled him even closer, you felt a distinct, hard pressure pressing firmly against your thigh.

Junseo froze. He pulled back just an inch, his face flushed a deep, frantic crimson. He looked down at the very obvious bulge forming in his fitted jeans, then back at you, looking completely mortified.

"Your dad is literally twenty feet away," he groaned, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. "I am a guest in his house, and I am... I have a boner for his daughter."

You smirked, pulling back just enough to look him in the eye. Slowly, you reached up and grabbed the hair tie from your wrist. You gathered your hair, pulling it up and off your neck, your eyes never leaving his as you tied it back securely. The deliberate, seductive movement made Junseo’s throat bob as he swallowed hard, his gaze darkening with a hunger that made him look completely unhinged.

"We can't have you going back out there looking like that," you whispered, the sight of your bare neck and the confidence in your eyes driving him even crazier.

Before he could protest, you sank to your knees on the cold tile floor. Junseo’s breath hitched, his hands flying to your shoulders. "Y/n, wait—here? Right now?"

"Unless you want to explain that to my father," you teased.

The moment you worked his zipper down and your hand curled around him, Junseo’s head hit the door with a soft thud. His eyes rolled back, and a strangled, broken sound escaped his lips—one he desperately tried to muffle by biting his own lips. He was incredibly sensitive, his body trembling under your touch as you worked with a focused, rhythmic pace. Every time you looked up at him, he looked completely wrecked, his hair messy and his lips parted as he fought to keep quiet. When he finally reached his limit, his fingers dug into your hair, and he let out a sharp, shuddering breath, his knees nearly buckling.

After a few moments of heavy silence, he helped you up, pulling you into another heated make-out session. His hands were shaking, but his touch was sure. He pulled back for a second, his fingers gently smoothing your hair and fixing your collar to make sure you looked presentable.

"You're amazing," he whispered, his voice trembling with genuine awe. "I'm never letting you go. Ever."

➽──────────────❥

When he finally emerged five minutes later from the bathroom, he looked perfectly composed, though a slight pink lingered on his cheeks. Dinner was a blur of laughter. Junseo had found his rhythm, even engaging in a playful debate with your brother

As the night wound down, your family gathered around the tree for the gift exchange. Your parents were thrilled with the gifts Junseo had carefully picked out, but as the room quieted, Junseo turned to you. He reached into the pocket of his cardigan and pulled out a small, velvet box.

The room went silent as he took your hand. "Y/n," he began, his voice surprisingly steady now. "I was so nervous today because your family’s opinion means the world to me. But mostly, I was nervous because I wanted this moment to be perfect."

He opened the box to reveal a stunning, delicate silver band—a promise ring. "It’s a promise that no matter how busy things get or how far apart we are, I’m always coming back to you. You're my home."

Your mother let out a soft "aww," and even your dad looked impressed as Junseo slid the ring onto your finger. He leaned in, pressing a sweet kiss to your temple, his eyes glowing with that signature, heart-melting look.

Later, after the house had gone quiet and your parents were in bed, you and Junseo stayed by the fireplace. He sat on the floor, pulling you between his legs so your back was against his chest. He rested his chin on your shoulder, his arms wrapped securely around your waist, his thumb tracing the new ring on your finger.

"You know," he murmured, his voice thick with sleepiness and contentment, "I think I could get used to this. The snow, the family... you."

He turned his head to nip playfully at your earlobe, a mischievous spark returning to his eyes. "But next time, maybe we find a room with a lock that isn't right next to your dad's favourite recliner?"

You laughed, turning in his arms to press one last Christmas kiss to his lips. "Deal, Junseo. Deal."